It's the Olympics of laughable celebrity "relationships"

Gyllenhaal with Taylor Swift, definitely.

Kavill was the most egregious, and most obvious.

Kelly Cuoco?

Kaley, no?

No one has ever looked more uncomfortable with Taylor Swift than Tom Hiddleston.

No one.

He looks painfully constipated in every picture of the two of them.

You are right it is Kaley Cuoco*. I deserve an "Oh, Dear"

Also, Robert PattiNson. You're welcome.

Um, why can't there be an all of the above dumbass op?

Michi loves sausage!

"No one has ever looked more uncomfortable with Taylor Swift than Tom Hiddleston."

Frankly, she must be insufferable. I'm not entirely convinced he's gay (her last beau Calvin Harris most certainly is not), but either way having to use her to get some publicity has to make him cringe. But he made his choice...

[quote]Um, why can't there be an all of the above dumbass op?

Well that's no fun, we recognize they were all only believable to clueless flyover housewives and 12 year old girls.

The Infamously badly choreographed and executed grocery shopping trip for Kaley and Henry was a farce.

OP, I can't believe you left off Ryan Seacrest and Teri Hatcher's whirlwind romance. There's was a love for the ages! Or until Ryan dumped her like a week later, but you can really tell that he was totally into like kissing her and stuff. I mean just look at those honest, passionate, and not at all fake, stilted, and awkward stolen (and totally not planned) moments together in front to the paparazzi.

Taylor's a lesbian, but all of her beards are heterosexual as they come.

Chris Evans and tranny faced Jenny Slate

Thanks r13. I love being reminded about these things. Though I guess the real joke is on us, because they know enough people are stupid enough to believe it.

Taylor Swift and [insert name here]

No one's mentioned me with Sophie yet. Whew! Mama will be so pleased.

But we thought of you, Dockside Doris.

[quote]Taylor Swift and [insert name here]

Yeah, any relationship she has ever had with a guy could be put here. Which is incredibly sad.

When I first saw Seacrest's name on the poll I expected Hatcher.

Didn't Julianne say in an interview that she initiated the split with Ryan because he wore her out in the sack?

Simon Cowell and Anyone

His relationship with former pop singer Sinitta was especially silly. She once said in an interview that in all their years of "dating" they never had sex. There's a clue.

HAHAHAHAHA. These people are so pathetic.

Zac and Michelle win this one hands down!

THAT was THE most ridiculous double bearding situation I've ever seen, worse than Kirstie Alley/Parker Stevenson!

Simon Cowell dated Sinatra? Which one?

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

The great thing about their relationship r27 is she was caught "cheating" on him, so that had to become it's own thing. The fans were freaking out that their true love was ruined

Sinitta, R26, the "other" Sinatra.

Thanks, R29. She looks just like Ronan Farrow.

Wow, Jake is in 7th place. His name doesn't carry the juice at DL that it once did, does it?

[quote] Wow, Jake is in 7th place. His name doesn't carry the juice at DL that it once did, does it?

We knew how to quit him.

Nothing tops RPats n KStew for ridiculous Hollywood love affair.

Replies like r32 make me really sad we don't have the wit and wisdom column here anymore. Will never understand why Muriel got rid of it.

Me & Priscilla Presley

Me & Brooke Shields

I thought Jake and Reese was the fakest one, because Jake and Ryan used to go jogging around my neighborhood together all the time. Most guys don't date their friend's ex-wives. It was obviously some photo-op publicist situation. Reese is cute but she looks like a total soccer mom in real life.

Also, most of the Sandra Bullock ones. I don't think she's a lesbian, just more not interested in dating or romance in general. I still don't get the biker guy though who was married to the porn star. She must've still been using then.

The original combo name - Bennifer. Jennifer Lopez and Ben Afleck. In order to promote their silly movie, Gigli, America was bombarded for an entire summer with these two so called actors. Ugh, it was such an innocent time.

Tyler Perry and any female. ANY!

Justine Timberlake and his lesbian wife.

Sandra Bullock and Jesse James...total lie, total mess.

Sofia Coppola and Keanu reevrs.

Charlie Crist and his current beard wife

R35. Me and Tatum O'Neal

Russell Wilson and Ciara

Yeah I do have a hard time believing that one is real r44. Wilson and is I am not having sex before marriage schitck seems like he might be a closet-case.

Nick Jonas and Kate Hudson. Even mom Goldie Hawn didn't believe that one.

Bumping this old thread instead of creating a new one. Allow me to add:

Nick Jonas & Priyanka Chopra

Rami Malek & Lucy Boynton

Darren Criss & whoever his wife is

Shawn Mendes and Camilla Cabello.

I always liked Teri Hatcher! I wish she hadn't gotten old and disappeared.

R14 Beards cover for guys. Merkins cover for lesbians.

Heterosexual politician Cory Booker and Rosario Dawson.

Who was the beard Cory used when he ran for Senate? She was a Hollywood attorney.

Heterosexual actor Bradley Cooper & Irina Shayk, or whatever her name is.

Irina Skank. Professional beard.

Blind Item The one thing this former A+ list hated reality star does not do is beard. Not a chance. She wants no part of anything like that. So, whatever dreams some PR team or tabloid writers have of her hooking up with the A-/B+ list mostly television actor from an almost network show is going to stay a dream. Paris Hilton/KJ Apa ("Riverdale")

Paris Hilton planted that blind item herself r55. It's laughable that people would be going to her has been road hard and put away wet ass.

Paris Hilton isn't 50 years old?

So like the majority of Taylor Swift's 30 PR relationships

Zac Efron e Vanessa Hudgens

Zac Efron e Lily Collins

Zac Efron e Halston Sage

Zac Efron e Michelle Rodriguez

Zac Efron e Sami Miró

Zac Efron e Alexandra Daddario

Mendes/Cabello is the most obviously fake one Ive ever seen.

Ellen Page and that weird Swedish guy

R62 I’ll see you a Mendes/Cabello and raise you a Mendes/Hailey Baldwin.

Hiddleswift, by a mile. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson seem fairly similar (insufferable hipsters who want to be taken seriously as artists) and probably helped each other and relied on each other to cope with the insanity of Twilight. It’s easy to imagine them having a genuinely close (non-sexual) relationship. It’s impossible to imagine Hiddles and Swift so much as sharing two minutes of small talk at a red carpet event, and they look utterly ridiculous in every single photo.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes was a hostage situation.

Some of the couples in the poll I’be never even heard of.

Bradley Cooper & The Slovenian Beard

Aaron Rodgers & The Racing Dyke

Jeremy Renner & The Brood Mare

Ryan Fagcrest & Terri Hatcher!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Liza Minnelli & David Gest.

What's laughable about a gay man marrying to get as close to Judy Garland as possible?

“Taylor Swift and [insert name here]”

I believed that she was legitimately into that barely legal Kennedy scion she bought the house next door to get close to. Did they ever actually go out, or did she just stalk him and put the compound’s security guards on red alert?

They went out and they FUCKED too. That was very borderline behaviour but the Kennedys seem to like these sorts of freaks in recent decades.

Tim O’Tay and that Depp girl.

And lest we forget: Kim K. and that guy she was married to for 5 minutes.

[quote]Liza Minnelli & David Gest.

What a shit show. He accused her of physically abusing him. And now he’s dead.

Shawn Mendes is more transparently gay than any of the those in the poll, so his relationship with Camila Cabello is more ridiculous.

Ryan Seacrest is gayer than Mendes. He’s gay as a picnic basket.

Agree that Seacrest is gayer than Mendes, but that’s a very low bar to meet.

Is Ryan transing? Because otherwise you can't be gayer than Shawn.

Seacrest is gayer than Shawn. He just is. That’s a fact.

Man, the Mendes obsessives are quite up in arms about his girlfriend aren't they.

R78 thinks she's going to marry Shawn and their undying heterosexual love will become a Disney movie.

Kevin Spacey and Dianne.

Mendes doesn’t have a girlfriend. She has a beard.

Rigth now, Timothee chalamet and johnny depp spawn

Kristen Stewart still claims that she and Robert Pattinson actually dated. I don't think at this point she'd bring it up if they really didn't date before she fully came out.

From first hand experience: Katie and Tom were actually a legitimate couple.

Bradley Cooper's should be Bradley and anyone. I still remember the very nasty words Jennifer Esposito had to say about him.

[quote]From first hand experience: Katie and Tom were actually a legitimate couple.

Firsthand experience? What, you were in their bedroom?

Shawn and Camilla. Not even do their own fans but it!

There's a Shawn Mendes fangirl on their threads who is always shrieking about how they're truly in love. She calls anyone who disagrees "homophobic fraus."

Is there a closet gay that Taylor Swift hasn’t bearded for yet? Christ. She doesn’t need the money. She must be a lez. x

Wait, are you telling me that Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift weren't really in love?!

[quote]Firsthand experience? What, you were in their bedroom?

Oh, I think you can tell if people are really a couple if you spend a significant amount of time around them with no cameras or reporters around, especially where we were. We know your parents fucked at least once because your mother didn't swallow you that time but were you watching them the other times?

Don't be so obtuse you ignorant twat-sicle.

Travolta and whatever the name of his wife is (Kelly Preston?). Let's face it, with the others, there's still an element of doubt. But in Travolta's case there are pictures and harrassment allegations from several young men, so we can be 99% sure he really is gay. Or could he be bi?

Even Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson *could* have been actually dating. We know now that she's gay, but maybe she hadn't come out to herself yet at that point and was trying to convince herself she was into him. Her getting caught with that older director was definitely weird. At one point I thought it was an elaborate bearding stunt or PR for that Snowhite movie, but didn't the director's wife divorce him after the photos came out?

Okay wait, maybe Travolta and his wife don't belong on this list...while no one could possibly buy him as straight, they have children together and I have no doubt they are legally married. They might never have been in love/lust; the kids might have been created with the help of a turkey baster, but they've built a life together, so I wouldn't call it a showmance.

[Quote] Didn't Julianne say in an interview that she initiated the split with Ryan because he wore her out in the sack?

Lol did she really?? Well at least she came out as bi.

[Quote] Paris Hilton/KJ Apa ("Riverdale")

KJ is rumoured to be dating Britt Robertson.

This is probably hard for you to understand r79, but there are many people who don't give a flying fuck about this Shawn Mendes guy.

Where's Bradley Cooper on this list? Irina Shayk was a contractor. She must have quite a nest egg.

Taylor's latest has lasted a while and he is very hot, IMO. He's also a pretty good actor. JoeAlwyn. I can't understand WTF he's doing with her.

Another one for Chris Evans and ugly ass Jenny Slate. Just creepy.

R94 - See R53.

[quote]there are many people who don't give a flying fuck about this Shawn Mendes guy.

Bottoms

Has Cavill ever had a fauxmance besides Kaley C., or did they decide he was just too laughably bad at it?

[quote]Chris Evans and tranny faced Jenny Slate

Yeah, what the hell was that about? She was ugly as a dog's ass.

Kevin Spacey and Dianne

Michael Jackson and Brooke Shields

[quote]Taylor's latest has lasted a while and he is very hot, IMO. He's also a pretty good actor.

There is nothing sexy about either one of them. I imagine their sex to be like two Roombas mating.

Timothee Chalamet might not be traditionally handsome, but I find him to be far sexier and a better actor than Joe.

Thread closed.

Chalamet is about as sexy as Mitch McConnell

[Quote] There is nothing sexy about either one of them. I imagine their sex to be like two Roombas mating.

R80, I know this isn't a popular opinion, but though Dianne was indeed a beard, these guys were true friends who stayed friends even when the bearding was over. So they are less laughable than the PR only "relationships".

Remember when Corey Booker and Gayle King were an item? No? Neither do they.

Liza to MJ: "Why didn't you tell me David was gay?" Michael: "I thought you knew."

Jeremy Renner, Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga intense love triangle.

R83, I thought the only thing Esposito had definitely said about Cooper was “Ha!” in response to someone asking if there was any chance he and Lady Gaga weren’t fucking after their Oscars performance?

R99, Cavill also dated Marisa Gonzalo. Who could be a better match for the spokesman for a wildlife conservatory than a game hunter who fills social media with pics of herself posed with trophy carcasses she just killed? Then there was that barely legal coed, who sure helped his image. I think he picks the worst possible candidates as an act of rebellion against his management for making him beard up.

[quote]Gaga & Jeremy: Hot New Romance!

[quote]Lady Gaga PREGNANT... But who's the DADDY?! Bradley or Jeremy?

[quote]Jeremy Renner, Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga intense love triangle.

I'm convinced that was the editors and staff of the checkout magazines trolling the fraus who are their base, i.e. "what insane shit can we make up that these flyover heifers will believe? How far can we go?"

[quote]Lady Gaga PREGNANT... But who's the DADDY?! Bradley or Jeremy?

Star and OK! are the Weekly World News of celebrity rags. Just a bunch of made-up shit, but not nearly as entertaining as WWN.

[quoote]Jeremy Renner, Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga intense love triangle.

Two closeted gay men and their hag. Soooo intense!

R115 -

[quote]YES, I'm PREGNANT - with BRAD'S BABY!

They're STILL doing the "Jen is pregnant!" stories. Bitch is 50 years old. And anyone with half a brain could tell she has never had any interest in children whatsoever.

Tom Cruise really did fuck Katy and Katy really did have a contract and lived in the modern world where she saw all the gossip that Tom was a cock-sucker and king of a cult. I don't doubt Robert and Kristen had sex. They were both young and high high high on global stardom and success, and both very attractive. Even if gay, they would probably be fine fucking each other.

Apparently Jen being pregnant by Brad is what the frauen are most hoping for, these rags seem to think. True, she is 50, but a woman in India recently gave birth at 72, so we could be seeing "Brad and Jen's Baby Joy" on tabloid covers for another 20 years or so.

R119 and R120 have the same image of Brad with two different pics of Aniston cropped next to him.

If I were Jen and wanted spawn at 50, I would want better DNA than Brad. I'd get a huge cocked 30 year old tall rock solid Dominican or Danish guy to splooge my eggs (hopefully, frozen eggs from when I was early 30s).

Pattinson and Stewart's fake relationship was the 'heart" of an entire franchise. In scale and importance it is tough to match.

I don't think their relationship was fake.

R127 Kristen is a Bull dyke

R128 More likely she's bisexual. She cheated on Rob, not with a woman, but with another man. I'm sure that for some of you this was part of the game, but I don't buy it. Her image suffered and I don't think it has ever recovered. Even today she's not very well liked.

R129 She seemed to me like baby dyke already she did that movie with super dyke Jodie.

Kristen seems officially lesbian now-- hard-core. She was too young and under pressure from her studio so she remained closeted. Once the Twilight series ended, she became her true authentic self.

Kristen is very much with Stella Maxwell.

R132, she's gone on to another woman. Even straight guys don't move this fast. One week she's with one girl, the next week she's seen holding hands and cuddling with someone else.

[quote]I thought the only thing Esposito had definitely said about Cooper was “Ha!” in response to someone asking if there was any chance he and Lady Gaga weren’t fucking after their Oscars performance?

R109, She apparently wrote about him in her book, "Jennifer's Way."

[quote]Finding someone to love, who loved me, in this lonely city of Los Angeles was seeming more and more impossible every day. Then I met someone and accepted a date. “I should have noticed the red flags from the beginning—actually, they were more like an entire marching band squad of red flags—but I ignored them because, honestly, I didn’t think the relationship was really going to go anywhere. He was funny, smart, cocky, arrogant, and a master manipulator. I didn’t necessarily find him that attractive, but I figured that I could enjoy his sense of humor and nonsense for a while.

[quote]One date became two, two dates became four. We had fun, but he also had a mean, cold side. His personality could flip on a dime, but that kind of behavior was familiar to me. I’d spent plenty of time walking on eggshells in my childhood home as well as on certain sets, so I quickly learned my role in the relationship and went forward accordingly. But the relationship was about him and what he needed, and nothing else… It wasn’t all bad all the time, so I figured this was just my lot, and I took the good with the bad, even though the bad was extremely bad.

[quote]Tom Cruise really did fuck Katy and Katy really did have a contract

If you know this, surely you also know that her name is spelled K-A-T-I-E.

The poster who insists Dyke KS is "bisexual" is also the poster who is adamant that Shawn Mendes is gay, gay, gay.

I think Stewart honestly thought she was bisexual back then.

I am confused why people don't realize that her being seen hooking up with other people is not evidence her relationship with Pattison is real, quite the contrary. It should show you how that was just a showmance.

Who fucking gives two shits about those Twilight retards? JFC vaginas should be banned from this site.

Aaron Rodgers and Danica Patrick.

R136 And your point is?...

R138, you're so fucking tiresome.

r141 swing your pussy over to Tumblr or Reddit.

R141 Block it. I did and a crap ton of annoying and antagonistic bullshite went away. Great gaps of it.

Kevin Spacey and Helen Hunt

R144 They were a thing?

[quote]the poster who is adamant that Shawn Mendes is gay, gay, gay.

Sweetie, the vast majority of DL is convinced that Shawn Mendes is gay, gay, gay. You're the odd one out.

The vast majority of DL has no interest in Shawn Mendes.

I didn't know who Shawn Mendes was before seeing him mentioned on DL. Google at least told me who he is. I completely do not get the fuss, but at least I know what it's about.

Shawn has been the subject of a few DL threads that tend to be frau-centric.

I've dated an actor with a long list of credits on IMDB playing lots of teachers and small business owners with one liners he's full gay but had sex with many actresses just for fun that's very common with actors.

[quote]he's full gay but had sex with many actresses just for fun that's very common with actors.

Not with this actor, but à chacun son goût, as the French say.

[quote]In scale and importance it is tough to match.

Hi there.

"Shawn has been the subject of a few DL threads that tend to be frau-centric."

Please, it's mostly gay men. Dataloungers blame "fraus" for everything they don't like.

It's a mix of women and gay men who come into various fanclub threads, not either or. It's silly to say it is mostly gays when there are obviously a lot of women, and silly to say it is all women when there are obviously gay men involved as well.

Bradley Cooper might be closeted, but I don't think his relationship with Jennifer Esposito was a showmance in the sense that there was a contract and she knew right from the start he wasn't interested in women. She probably thought he really wanted her in the beginning.

If there had been a contract, there most likely would also have been a NDA, meaning she wouldn't have written all that negative stuff about him in her book.

A few months ago Gisele Bundchen released her memoirs ... DM printed some of the most 'salacious' bits. Apparently she wrote only like two sentences about her relationship with Leo. Something about how they didn't want the same things in life, but she only figured that out when she stopped 'numbing' herself with wine and cigarettes or something like that. Of course DM managed to make it sound like she drank BECAUSE of him, but that was not what she said. Her comments about him/the relationship were about as vague as it gets. After reading those excerpts from her book, I was more convinced than ever that she'd signed a NDA. She mentioned the relationship, because it would've looked suspicious if she hadn't, but without really revealing anything about Leo.

Jennifer Esposito didn't out Cooper, but she made him look pretty bad, so I'm guessing there was no contractual agreement. If he's really gay, it was probably the last time that he tried to have a real relationship with a woman, and after the desaster that was this marriage, he moved on to pure bearding arrangements.

Gisele's "relationship" with Leo really upped her profile, so she got a lot out of it.

[quote]I've dated an actor with a long list of credits on IMDB playing lots of teachers and small business owners with one liners he's full gay but had sex with many actresses just for fun that's very common with actors.

Isn't he worried about getting one of them pregnant?

R156 so did Bar.

[quote]he's full gay but had sex with many actresses just for fun that's very common with actors.

What?

R156 I know, right. Despite them being a mismatched couple. She looks much better with Tom Brady. You never see Gi and Leo together anymore despite 'dating' long term.

Did Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens make the list yet?

Yes, see R59.

Whoops, R162. Thanks.

Pete Davidson & Ariana Grande...what was that about?

Davidson is a skinny ugly tattooed nerd. He seems to attract beautiful women, here's his new girlfriend,, Margaret Qualley, Andie McDowell's daughter.

Margaret Qualley isn't beautiful, she has tardface

R166 Never heard of her. I assume they’re trying to make her happen.

Margaret Qualley played Ann Reinking in "Fosse/Verdon" and one of the Manson girls in "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood." She's already happening.

Sure, Jan.

R168 = Andie MacDowell

Margaret Qualley is beautiful. Davidson is plain ugly. It's Beauty and the Beast again.

[Quote] Pete Davidson & Kate Beckinsale...what was that about?

Fixed it for you.

Why can’t publicists make these things more convincing?

[quote]Why can’t publicists make these things more convincing?

It's the celebs who are failing.

R174 But they all follow the same pattern. You’d think the handlers could come up with something besides lame pap walks.

[Quote] You’d think the handlers could come up with something besides lame pap walks.

I guess originality is dead in all aspects of Hollywood.

Pete Davidson allegedly has an enormous cock.

They forget so soon...

No we don’t.

R179, I'm the poetry Kevin.

Anyone that dated Spice Girl Geri Halliwell in the 1990's, 2000's could also go on this list.

It became the equivalent of Coming Out to be seen with her.

[quote] Pete Davidson allegedly has an enormous cock.

Women don't care about that as much as gay men, they care more about tongue action.

He's reminiscent of a lizard, perhaps they make assumptions about his tongue based on that?

[Quote] He's reminiscent of a lizard

Reptiles are the in thing nowadays.

Davidson is so creepy looking. He looks like he smells.

[Quote] He looks like he smells.

I don't think that's up for debate.

Fortunately the cloud of pot smoke hanging over him like a Grateful Dead concert would probably help mask the BO.

He smells like a dirty bellybutton.

True love.

Mentioned way upthread but is Parker Stevenson a homo?

OP is useless and clueless without Shawn Mendes in the poll.

JUST RETIRE TO THE GOLDEN GIRLS THREADS, YOU OUT-OF-IT ELDERQUEEN.

OP’s post is from 2016, you dolt.

Had Shawn Mendes hit puberty by then?

Bump.