Falling in love with gay roommate

Don't pursue it. Let it happen naturally. He may be creeped out if he's not into you at all.

Install a camera in his room.

First, you are not in love with him. You barely actually know him as a human being.

You have a crush/are in lust with him.

You CANNOT make a move unless he gives you a clear signal he is interested. He responded to your ad because he wanted a place to live, it will make things incredibly awkward if he no longer feels comfortable in his own home.

How about just focus on being his friend and actually getting to know him? Worry about the rest later.

A lease that automatically renews for a year? Is that a thing? Is a rent hike automatically included as well?

Another PMBT bullshit thread.

R4, it was his idea. He's a 30 year-old Jewish lawyer. It was a clause that he inserted. I don't think there's any rent hike included.

R3, he knew I was bi before he decided to move in. He said, "Just so you know, I'm gay, is that going to be a problem?" And I said, "Not at all, I'm bi." And he wanted to make sure there was no possibility that I wasn't seeing anybody else that could potentially be moving into the house in the future.

All of a sudden, I feel like I'm settling down with a partner. He's planning on hanging his mother's paintings up in the house.

He can sue you OP so id keep my distance.

I don't even know what point your are making. He knew you were bi. Okay, so what? Of course he is hanging up his things, this is his house also, that is how it works.

He is not your partner whatsoever, he is your roommate. That's all.

Not to be mean, but I am guessing you have lived a pretty lonely life?

Control yourself, OP, don't be a Desperate Desmond. Just Pound the Pud until you get to know him better.

R9, I thought he thought it was obvious I was attracted to him. When I was walking him back to his car, he said to me, "You're awfully quiet and pensive. What is on your mind." And I said, "Well... I'm just keeping my fingers crossed." He said, "I feel the same way." I thought maybe there was some mutual attraction. I thought he could tell I was interested in him. He only wanted to check out one other place, and then he decided he wanted to move into my house.

Anyway, I had dinner with him last night. Who knows? It's hard to tell.

Single white male.

Did he lick his lips when he inserted the clause? Regardless, this will end in tears.

OP's poor, poor roommate. He has no idea the basket of crazy he moved in with. Don't think you have to worry about that lease being renewed...

OP, did you keep your hand pressed in the small of his back while you led him to his car? Did you open the car door for him?

No, R15.

This sounds like an Extremely Sexual Tenancy.

.025/10

Get him drunk

Update us when you hear him fucking other guys in your house. Thanks in advance.

OP, Please let us know in advance when you are scheduled to be on "Judge Judy."

This. Never. Happened.

Be chill, if there's mutual attraction, then make a move.

R13 made me giggle.

[quote][R9], I thought he thought it was obvious I was attracted to him. When I was walking him back to his car, he said to me, "You're awfully quiet and pensive. What is on your mind." And I said, "Well... I'm just keeping my fingers crossed." He said, "I feel the same way." I thought maybe there was some mutual attraction. I thought he could tell I was interested in him. He only wanted to check out one other place, and then he decided he wanted to move into my house.

If the whole thing is real it sounds like you're reading way more from your interaction than might be true. It sounds like you think he wanted to move in to be your boyfriend. It's very possible he noticed that, though, and realized that because he's a LAWYER he's just waiting for you to make a mistake and in a few months he'll own the fucking house and you end up throwing yourself off a bridge.

What other clauses did he add to your contract besides the auto-renewal? Read it carefully and consult a lawyer if you don't understand something.

How old are you, btw?

be sure to wear your prettiest caftan the day he moves in.

R25, I'm 34, he's 30. We're both 6'5" and about the same level of attractiveness. I think I'm more muscular.

The other clauses, he added that no more than four people may live in the house. It's a HUGE house. I've got one gal living downstairs, another straight guy living on the opposite side of the house, completely reclusive, so it's the lawyer and me sharing the main floor. I can already tell that he's going to be more tight with me than the others roommates.

But I've really got to be patient. Just be his friend. At some point, we can be gym buddies. I think he and I will be close, but whether things get sexual, I don't know. I have to respect boundaries and just be patient.

Two giants found each other. How cute.

R27/OP, were you planning to bring in more housemates? Even though I understand why he'd like to keep the house more quiet I don't really understand why you're letting him to add a clause like to your contract. It's you who's losing the money in that deal.

R29, I wanted it that way anyway. I told him upfront that I already had one roommate and I was looking to rent out the downstairs mother-in-law apartment, and that there was only going to be four people living in the house total. I wanted it that way anyway.

Just so you know, I just moved back into this house three weeks ago. I inherited the house. This is the first time I'm living in a house I own. And it's a million dollar house in an upscale neighborhood. It has six bedrooms and a huge yard.

And all of a sudden, out of the blue, comes this beautiful gay Jewish lawyer! I feel like I'm in a fairy tale and my prince finally came! I'm excited to spend more time with this person.

R30, dude, he's not a prince but a tenant. And he's a lawyer, NEVER forget that. Don't let him use you since it already sounds he is doing that by modifying your contract.

OP are you on the autism spectrum?

I may be, R32.

The fact that you wanted to only have four tenants yet he made you put that in an actual clause in the contract suggests he's both controlling and already trying to tie everything up legally. It sounds like you have a lovely set-up, so I would say play it very cautiously with him and see how things play out naturally. Just be very careful and don't allow him to lead you by the hand to a point where he can take for a vast sum of money. I know that's cynical and you don't want to choke any potential relationship with suspicion but the whole clause in the contract thing alone raises alarm bells. Good luck (and keep us updated!). x

PS - never forget that you have the upper hand in the relationship. As a poster above says, you didn't need to put the clause in the contract as you're the one who owns the house and if it's as desirable as it sounds there will be plenty of other people who would jump at the room without trying to impose conditions on you. By relenting you've already signaled to him that he has the upper hand. Try not to be so submissive to him and see how he acts towards you then...

OP, I got curious about adding those clauses in the contract. Did he add them by hand or did you or he make the modifications on a computer? If he wrote the extra parts are you sure he didn't add any extra clauses you haven't noticed? I have so many alarm bells ringing in my head right now (one saying you're John) that I'd be extra careful about your guy. Did you do any background checks on him?

OP he moved in only because he's as attracted to you as you are to him. It's clear, all the signs are there.

Just go ahead and walk in to his room tonight. I guarantee he's doing nothing but waiting for you.

The only thing he's going to say is "What took you so long?"

Please let us know how it turns out.

"How you doin' ?"

This won't end well.

He sounds like a control freak, op. You need boundaries.

OP you in danger girl.

We'll need pictures to assess situation further, OP.

I believe I have never read/witnessed a more desperate desire for attention in my life.

R36, he wrote the clauses in by hand. He showed me everything he added/changed. He also wanted the lease to be specific about what the common areas in the house are (the downstairs mother-in-law isn't).

Yes, I was a little alarmed by his assertiveness. I can tell this guy is going to be someone who throws his weight around. But who knows? Maybe he'll be that more assertive going after me, if he does?

By the way, I'm the guy who started the other thread "What is it like to date a Jewish guy?"

OP, get every little dream about this guy out of your head. You already showed your hand so all hes going to do now is take advantage. It was very foolish of you to allow him to add his own clause to YOUR contract. You have now put yourself and the other tenants at a disadvantage which isn't fair to the rest of them If you wanted to add a clause to the contract you take it to another lawyer NOT a tenant! I hope you are prepared to stand up for the others living in that house as a landlord.

Whew, OP. You in danger, girl is right. Do you even know for sure this dude is an attorney? He could be a grifter who will move in and stay without ever working or paying you a dime. And if he is (or was) an attorney, good luck trying to evict him if it ever comes to that. He'll have things tied up in court for years.

Why does he think he can hang paintings in your house? You rented him a ROOM, he doesn't get to redecorate or renovate your house. Jesus, change the locks and rip up that contract while you still can.

Why would a successful attorney need to live in a boarding house?

My sister checked him on the Internet. He's only been an attorney for about nine months. He's also going to graduate school. It turns out, her Jewish lawyer friend plays golf with his uncle, who is also a Jewish lawyer.

R48, student debt.

For all you Marys wringing your hands about the 4-people clause, the matter of whom and how many live in a shared rental is very important. I rented a portion of a house from a guy (a lawyer) after he and his gf broke up and he needed help with his bills. Less than 2 months after I moved in, he got back with the gf, who at first had extended weekend visits with her 2 yappy dogs, and after just a few more weeks, she moved in, hogging up cupboard and refrigerator space, eating my food, and her dog scratching on my bedroom door and occasionally getting in my room to chew things and steal socks, and using my bathroom. (Roommate said her dogs were a reason why they broke up.)

I requested a rental reduction, and he refused. I gave notice saying her moving in was a breach of the contract, since my quality of life was diminished by her and her dogs. He was angry but didn't argue it and I moved out after 4 months total. I thought the guy was pretty cool but she was a pig and I think there was a tinge of desperation in his holding onto her, as I'm sure he could have had better.

For that matter, many towns and cities have rules about how many unrelated people can live in a dwelling.

Believe it or not, contracts can and should be reviewed and changed by all the parties to the contract. There is no rule that contracts are not negotiable. If you don't agree with a contract or a change to a contract, then you shouldn't sign it.

Did you run a credit report on him, OP? You should have done so at the very least. These people aren't merely tenants in a rental property, they are living with you in your home.

I'm sorry for saying this, OP, but you seem incredibly desperate. I don't think this will end well.

What state/city are you in?

"What state are you in?"

He's obviously in one of delusion.

Its not about the actual clause [R51] Its the fact that someone was able to walk in off the street and change a contract without the full consent of the landlord or other tenants (living in the house). The fact that the op even mentioned it in his post showed that he was surprised at his boldness. Not good

This is just like Wallace and Gromit in The Wrong Trousers, where the evil penguin rents a room in W&G's house and before long Gromit is USURPED and Wallace is placed in MORTAL DANGER!!!

You creep! You let him stay because you wanted to fuck him. If you tell him he's either going to feel awkward for the rest of the year, or fuck you out of pity because he thinks he owes it to you. Christ OP, don't do anything with him unless he comes onto you first.

You're both 6ft5, mmm, ok, me, too!, and I've got a 10 inch dick and a Harvard Law degree. Can I move into your fantasy tall hottie flop house, too?

So this guy is a good-looking, 30-year-old, lawyer who is somewhat interested in fucking you and who is also taking grad school classes?

Who are your other three tenants?

Let me guess.

Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy, and The Easter Bunny...???

Does Jesus stop by for a visit every now and then...???

R50 Keep 'em coming.

OP, I hope you're prepared for the inevitable event when your roommate has a "guest" for the evening and you have to slowly go insane in your room hearing what's going on in there all night.

Dear O"P, please wake up'n think with your brain and not your dick. He is obviously using his charms and good look to con you into thinking that you are in love with him. He will most likely bring some date over to drive you insanely infatuated with him. This makes you vulnerable to his scheme. Then he will his lawyer tricks to con you out. That is basically how a Junior Associate Lawyer at my office got his first house- a very sociopathic dude.

You have a nice house, try to keep it OP,

[quote]Why would a successful attorney need to live in a boarding house?

Just because someone has a law degree does NOT mean they are a "successful" attorney who is rolling in money. Plenty of JDs are in jobs where they are making crappy money and like another poster mentioned once you graduate from law school you have a massive amount of debt you have to repay.

[quote]Why does he think he can hang paintings in your house? You rented him a ROOM, he doesn't get to redecorate or renovate your house. Jesus, change the locks and rip up that contract while you still can.

Almost always with rental houses the common spaces (living room/dining/kitchen) are SHARED spaces between all the tenants.

He already showed us his Equifax score. His credit is okay.

What's with this 6'5"/195 cm shit? Dating sites are full of height inflation now. Everybody's 6'1" or taller. I don't want to breed with guys with obvious pituitary disorders. Besides, nobody wants to get with Anakim except other Anakim.

The lawyer employment market in the U.S. is very poor. Depending on how you slice and dice the numbers, anywhere from 20% to 45% of U.S. JDs are unemployed, underemployed and not working in a law-related field. Even the ABA says the % of lawyers who don't have full time lawyer jobs is about 40%. My roommate lawyer mentioned in R51 was working for a semi-crappy personal finance/insurance company when I moved in. His coworkers were mostly straight alcoholic men. I have another lawyer friend who graduated from a top tier school, passed the bar in 2 states, and worked in Calif. as an attorney for 5 years. Then he got laid off and was unemployed for 3 years, finally finding work as a paralegal in a firm in Ariz. So chances are good that any U.S. law school grad you meet is or has experienced employment issues.

You are in love with your roommate?

Ha! What are you going to do?

Well? What are you gonna do, buddy?

0/10

With luck, the gay lawyer tenant will be reading this thread and have his bags packed and an escape planned developed by the end of the week.

R71, it's too late for him to do that. He's already locked in the lease.

Not almost always. It's common to rent just the bedroom without house privileges.

How are things progressing, OP???

R11 Awfully chummy, isn't he? I suggest the next time you approach him to collect rent, do so in a slightly ajar robe with nothing underneath. If he seems responsive, tell him you are open to an alternative payment arrangement in lieu of cash or check.

What if he's a rentboy and this is his shtick?

A 30-year-old Jewish lawyer? I'll take him on the rebound.

I feel like I'm in a movie called Single White Gay Male. There are certainly some parallels to that story. Except in my story, Jennifer Jason Leigh is the one looking for the roommate. My Jewish lawyer is Bridget Fonda. He recently got out of a relationship because his ex was a drunk. But what happens if his ex sobers up and wants to get back together? That's when things will start to get tense!

Today, he and I installed the new washer and dryer after the delivery guys couldn't install them. He did most of the work.

He hasn't even finished moving in yet, and he's totally doing things to the house, making decisions and talking to me about it as if we were partners.

Okay, he just moved in today.

It's hard to read him. He sprayed on cologne right before sitting next to me at the piano bench. I don't know whether he's attracted to me, or if he's just being all, 'Yes, I know I'm hot stuff, aren't I?" He played some stuff he had written. He's a Leo, he gets off on being admired.

Ugh he sounds smarmy. This will end in tears.

Maybe the ex turned to drink because the roommate was overbearing and controlling and alcohol was his only escape!? Tread carefully, OP!!!

Are you the same pathetic loser who fell in love with a 20 something 'straight' guy who only used you for drugs?

The way to force the issue is to have a one night stand yourself. He may get jealous and make his move

I don't think his putting all those clauses in the rental contract makes him controlling; he's just using his knowledge as a lawyer to make sure everything is covered properly.

"The way to force the issue is to have a one night stand yourself. He may get jealous and make his move"

Yeah, the way Norman Bates made his move in "Psycho".

Wait until you are sure that he is asleep, OP, then sneak into his room and either wrap your lips around his pinga or insert your tongue up his bung-hole.

Romance will be guaranteed!

R79 I'm a Leo, too and we have egos the size of Texas but I know better than to spray on cologne and sit next to strange men on piano benches. That would clearly send the message of easy virtue!

Be careful, op! He's a siren!

R87 Oops, wrong link. OR IS IT?!

My brother's house in now in foreclosure as he found the love, and lust of his life, on a dating site a couple of years ago. She was a big breasted, beautiful Brazilian woman, about 23 years old. In reality, it was a stock photo taken from the internet. My brother is more than twice that age, and suffers from MS, and had prostate surgery. He's divorced, and has lived alone for many years. His daughter tries to be supportive, but, he has done many things to piss her off, rightfully so. Anyway, his 'girlfriend' was a scam that got close to $200,000 out of him, also involving some bank account in Egypt, that could get my brother $5 million, if he just keeps sending more money. Yes, he's that stupid. Because he was so lonely, and so desperate, and greedy, he couldn't see what everyone told him - it's a scam. And he's losing his house he's lived in for 30 years. OP - why do you think I told this story on this thread?

OP, don't listen to these Negative Nancys and Debbie Downers. This is your one shot of true love! Take it slow. Let him make it clear to you he wants be your lover. Has Madonna taught you nothing? MAKE HIM EXPRESS HIMSELF!!

Come on, break out the alcohol and see what happens

Well, yesterday, he and I went shopping at Home Depot to buy new flooring! I don't believe this, you're supposed to date, fall in love, and THEN move in together, not the other way around!

When we were driving home, we stopped at a crosswalk where kids were crossing the street. I asked him if he wanted to have kids some day, he said maybe under the right circumstances. I told him I wanted to get an egg donor and surrogate. He said, 'That's not necessary anymore. If you were to take your sperm, and I took my skin cells, those skin cells could be made into an egg, and two guys can have a baby that way. That's possible now." And I thought, "Did I hear him correctly? Did he just make a Freudian slip?"

We went out to dinner afterwards. We didn't discuss any interest in each other. Honestly, I don't know if I'm smart enough for him. I think if it were purely based on looks, I'd be in the clear. I think he's concerned that I don't have any relationship experience. He tells me I need to go out and start meeting more people. I was crushed to hear that. But, he also told me that he's had relationships that started out as friendships that eventually progressed to relationships. What I'm reading in the subtext is, "I think you're a possibility, but let's be friends right now, and don't put all your eggs in one basket, you need to get out and see other people, I just moved in, neither of us know what's going to happen down the line."

But then last night, we were playing Chopin's Nocturne in E Flat Major on the piano. I was doing the left part while he was doing the right part. What does he feel when he's sitting next to me on the bench like that? Does he know what a tease he's being?

This is just torture! I finally moved into my million dollar house in a million dollar cul de sac neighborhood with a view of the water! And right as I move in, the guy of my dreams literally shows up out of the blue, he moves in and is planning on living here a couple of years. I'm living in a beautiful house with the guy of my dreams, only I can't have him yet. :(

He is such a prince! He is musically talented, he plays piano, he sings, he writes music, he's traveled all over the world, he's educated, he's tall and handsome. Not only that, my house has become his passion project! He just spent the evening cleaning up the downstairs rec room which hadn't been cleaned in forever. This guy is every single gay guy's dream guy to settle down with. He's just perfect. And I'm living with him and I can't have him yet. :(

Every night when I go to sleep, I cry some tears. To have him so close and yet so far away.

Question - On Data Lounge, what is an EST?

For the record, he said last night that there's no way he'd go back to his ex, even if his ex had sobered up, gone to AA and wanted him back. It sounds like he wasn't that in love with him anyway.

What is your sign, OP?

Why don't you just tell him you're getting some mixed signals and ask him if he's attracted to you at all or if he's getting more of a friend vibe?

It might be awkward for a minute and sad if he says he's not attracted to you, but then at least you know one way or the other and can move on.

R93 I think it stands for "elaborate scenario troll." Like someone comes up with a really long, complicated, detailed story to trick people into believing it's true, soliciting advice and getting people to fight with each other over what to do while the OP sits back and laughs at having fooled everyone because his fake story is so believable.

You sound like a predator OP.

EST = Elaborate Scenario Troll.

I devoutly hope OP is an EST, because otherwise they are just terrifying. If you are for real OP, your housemate is right - you need to get out and get some dating experience. Right now you write with the emotional maturity and sense of drama of a young teen.

Is this the program/book troll again?

You're an awful person program/book troll.

No R100. John lives his mother. He isn't functional enough to have moved out.

I looked at photos of his ex boyfriend. Well, I think I'm better looking. However, I'm also 34, whereas the boyfriend was 27.

Honestly, the best way to describe this guy -- he looks like a cross between Ryan Gosling and Zach Galligan from Gremlins.

Did you ask him if he likes you yet?

Honestly don't worry about him being smarter than you. Leos are super insecure that's why they are always trying to impress people so just tell him how great you think he is and he will be asking you to marry him. He just wants to be appreciated and it sounds like you do a lot.

And don't worry about being older than his last bf. He probably thought he was immature and that's why he's no longer with him and he wants someone more age appropriate.

R104, the problem is that I'm 34 and I haven't finished my B.A. yet. If that were the only thing. But I'm still a virgin, that's how socially inept I am.

You're 6'5" and hot yet you're still a virgin? I just don't understand how that's possible. Do you even know if you are a top or bottom? Are you grossed out by sex or just terrified of talking to people you are attracted to?

What is your sign? Are you like a Virgo or Pisces? Cancer maybe?

Who cares whether you have a B.A.? It honestly doesn't matter. Lots of people don't. Not everyone needs one for their career and not everyone wants to go into debt. You don't need one to do what you're doing renting out your house. If you are so worried about having a B.A. get it/finish but do it because it's something you want to do not because you are worried what other people think.

It seems like fate it throwing a lot of fortune and opportunities your way and your only task is to take advantage of them. What are you so afraid of? If you want your life to change do something about it. Go to therapy if you need to, get some meds to make you less terrified of everything. Were you abused as a child or something? I think a lot of people would love to be in your situation, OP.

R100 Yes this is another boring, psycho fantasy thread from the PMBT.

OP has many have said see what if anything happens. It may or may not and you're certainly not "in love". You have a fantasy at this point. I had a bi roommate for a couple of years that developed naturally into a friends with benefits kinda thing. Great affection for either other developed but it was never a dating or bf thing and we were both fine with that. Still a great friend of mine to this day and he's happily married off to a women and we haven't had sex in years and don't expect we ever will again. He's gotten fat anyway so of no interest. lol

R107 I don't think the PMBT is 6'5", 34, or incomplete on his Bachelor's Degree.

Even John is in nursing school.

This is someone different unless he is trolling or lying about pretty much everything in the thread and making it all up.

You grow the fuck up.

R108, if I'm not in love, then I don't know what it is like to be in love. I've suffered unrequited love too many times.

Maybe I'm a bit touched with Aspergers.

I need that B.A. If I'm going to have any sort of career. I don't want to be stuck making only $2,000 a month.

Well, it's been a few days. Has the hot Jewish housemate packed up, and left when you weren't home, yet?

He has that lease r112 so i doubt he's gone anyway but nor do i believe he's now banging the OP yet either

I'm sad.

He's having dinner with someone tonight. He left at 7:15. It's 11:20 and he's not home yet.

He is so busy, he never has time to hang out with me. Once he's finished with his thesis, maybe I'll have better luck?

The good news is that I've been leaning down, my body fat % is going down! I've got a good body!

Also, last Friday night, I slept with a married lawyer who's expecting a baby with his husband. I did it to keep my mind off my roommate, but I kept wishing it was my roommate instead. I suppose I've got some bad karma coming.

Gurl you are crazy AA.

Has the gay roommate slaying story been shown on the evening news yet?

I just endured a trip to hell AKA visiting my critically ill friend's elderly, racist crazy parents. This thread is the first laugh I've had in a week - thanks DL.

'Can I move into your fantasy tall hottie flop house, too?'

Get in line, toots.

The OP isn't PMBT.

John doesn't have any imagination, his threads are purely fact based or enquiry based e.g. 'what is it like to live in Oslo' or 'I like Tom Hardy' or 'I am angered by my mom'

[quote]Also, last Friday night, I slept with a married lawyer who's expecting a baby with his husband. I did it to keep my mind off my roommate, but I kept wishing it was my roommate instead. I suppose I've got some bad karma coming.

So, you finally lost your virginity then, OP? At the age of 34? Or did you forget that was part of the saga? You've been waiting 20 years to have sex and this is all you have to say about it? Hmmmm.....that's an awfully casual, off hand comment for such a monumental event.

[quote]I told him I wanted to get an egg donor and surrogate. He said, 'That's not necessary anymore. If you were to take your sperm, and I took my skin cells, those skin cells could be made into an egg, and two guys can have a baby that way. That's possible now."

Oh, my sides.

[quote]Honestly, I don't know if I'm smart enough for him.

I'd say you're about evenly matched.

I envy OP the part about playing Chopin together. I like to sing Gesualdo madrigals with my tricks, but it's difficult because you need a total of five guys. By the time I manage to recruit four, we usually decide to just have group sex instead and be done with it. No romance in my life, alas.

If I were OP, I'd sell the piano to avoid that torture.

R121, come sit by me on MY piano stool.

'I like to sing Gesualdo madrigals with my tricks, but it's difficult because you need a total of five guys. '

R122 may single-handedly restored DL to its former glory.

R120, no, we did not have sex, neither anal or oral. We just got naked, made out, tried to jerk each other off, and dry humped. This was a guy I had hooked up with a few times 13 years ago. He messaged me, inviting me to hang out on Friday night. His initial plan was to set me up with his husband's friend, who was really into me, and who I led on a bit. Finally, the guy took me away from the friend, who got pissed, hit the guy and then went home. It doesn't look like he told the husband anything.

I am so crushed. I wish I could cry to feel some release.

I came home at 2:00am, and I saw two pairs of shoes outside his bedroom door.

I went to bed, I couldn't sleep. I heard what sounded like bouncing on the bed through my wall.

I'm so unhappy. I'm scared I'll never meet a guy as awesome as this guy is.

I wonder who my competition is?

Now I really know how Eponine felt.

[quote]no, we did not have sex, neither anal or oral. We just got naked, made out, tried to jerk each other off

What the fuck?!

[quote]I am so crushed. I wish I could cry to feel some release.

MARY!!!

God, for your own sake I hope you are a troll. You sound like one of the most pathetic people on the planet.

Two pairs of shoes outside his door, was the valet picking them up to be shined for the morning?

Roomates in your 30's?

OMG, I am so happy and relieved!!!

There was no guy! It turns out, he was just trying to fix his toilet, which was leaking water, and he was trying to realign it back into place! And that was what was making the rhythmic bouncing sounds!!

I slept so horribly last night, but I've never been so relieved in all my life!!

[quote]Roomates in your 30's?

This is incredibly common in cities at least, go hang out in NY or SF.

This is the best thread EVAH!

Why did the toilet repairman take his shoes off at your roommate's bedroom door? Are you trying to tell us shoes are allowed everywhere else in the house and if your roommate wants a clean floor he has to take his shoes off before going into his bedroom ? Is that what you're trying to say, OP?

I'm disgusted.

Time to install that peep-hole in his bedroom wall, Norman? Is the clean rec room going to be for acid barrel storage, Jeffrey?

R134, there was no toilet repairman. Both pairs of shoes belonged to my roommate. I guess he didn't want to get scuff marks on the brand new floor I bought him. But what happened was that when the flooring got installed in the bathroom, the toilet became unsealed, and my roommate noticed it last night and was trying to fix it.

Who the fuck rents out rooms in a "million dollar," high-end house on a cul-de-sac? In my neighborhood, the HOA would stop that shit. You don't rent out rooms, especially to multiple parties, in a toney neighborhood. You're not only crazy, OP, you're trash. Pathetic, virgin, stalking, whining, emotionally-dim, desperate AND poor trash. Yuck. Also, your "successful" lawyer, if he exists, is trash. What successful person rents a room in someone's house? A room!? If you have the money for new floors and appliances, you can surely make a mortgage payment. Live like an adult! Not like some cross between Chandler Bing and Blanche Devereaux.

I too live in an upscale neighborhood, OP. I'm also 6' 5" and very muscular. We could be twins... Or maybe even soul mates. Ditch the Jew lawyer, and marry me, OP! I'll even be your tutor for your BA, because a BA is super important, and the only way to make real money. Not that you'll need money with me, OP. I'll buy you all the new bathroom floors your heart could ever dream of!

R137, I inherited this house. The balance on it is $180,000, so it has a lot of equity. Normally, if you were buying it, the mortgage payment would probably be around $5,000, but my mortgage payment is only $1,750 a month. I'm pulling in $3,250 a month all together from my tenants, so I have extra money to fix up the house and install a new floor.

And my lawyer roommate still has student loans, is still in grad school, and he's actually doing quite well for himself. He's a brand new lawyer, less than a year. He's a contract lawyer. So, he's not doing too bad for himself, it's quite an improvement over the condo he had been living in. And who knows, if we get married someday, the rent he's been paying this whole time will have been going toward equity.

It was so bizarre, I found him on Roomster.com. As soon as I post my ad, I got an response from him exactly two minutes later. And somehow, I had a feeling he was going to be gay before he showed up. After I walked him back to his car and said goodbye, I kept seeing that scene with Liesl going "Wee!" in the rain and lightning after Rolfe kisses her.

He and I are going to pick up more furniture tomorrow morning.

Oh, brudder...

Leave it alone, get to know him as a friend, do not turn it into a disaster as being a needy desperate roommate in love with him, find someone else it is a big world out there .

LOL, R140!!!

Today, we went and picked up more free furniture for his room. We also got some free paintings, which I helped him hang. He's Jewish, he's all about getting things for free.

OMG... us standing so close while hanging the painting, his arms against mine, it was all I could do to resist kissing him!

We're concerned that our other roommate may be a drug addict or bringing druggies over. We're going to install some security cameras.

You know, I think I've got a good shot with him. It may take more spending time together, but we seem to have something really domestic going on. I can tell I'm really going to be relying on him a lot as far as the house goes.

None of this preposterous tale can be true, but if it is...don't shit where you eat, OP. It's harder to find a responsible flatmate than true love.

OP sounds as a FRAU.

OP needs to get a couple of dogs. Then, and only then, will we NOT be able to comment, "What a story! Everything but the dogs nipping at his heels!"

OP sleeps next to his inherited stack of grandma's bodice rippers, although he turns the page whenever he sees any actual bodice ripping. He just reads them for the descriptions of "loving" looks the firefighter/lumberjack/soldier gives the heroine before she feels validated enough to jump into bed.

Where did that dash come from?

[quote]We're concerned that our other roommate may be a drug addict or bringing druggies over. We're going to install some security cameras.

Assuming the contract the tenant signed that makes him a resident of the house, installing a camera to spy on him inside the property would be illegal. You could put cameras outside the house to see who is coming in.

R127 What? Did the cruel bastard hang a maribou trimmed "Do Not Disturb" sign on the doorknob, too?!

R134 Maybe his roommate is Japanese?

If you "get married"? This poor man should be warned that you're a delusional creeper. What's his name? I only ask because I want to hire an uber-successful lawyer in his first year of practice who is doing really well, but, who gave up living privately in a condo so he could further excel in life by renting a room (a room?!) in some weirdo's inherited house. It's not because I want to warn him about his Norman Bates-ish landlord. Really.

This entire thing is now creepy. RUN RUN i would say to the roommate.

Op is an asshole. I've run into so many people like you throughout my life. Nothing anyone says will make any difference.

You are not even his roommate. You are his landlord. You have no idea that it is completely inappropriate to have anything other than a business relationship with a tenant. I just hate people like you. You think that because you're gay and he's gay (?) (and probably even if he's not) and that its your house that it's okay to act like a deviant. Just fucking stop.

I'm sure whoever you chased away before this one (and before that one and that one and all the ones before that!) would be able to tell us all just how uncomfortable you made his time living in your house. You have no boundaries, self awareness, or sense of appropriate behavior. You'll creep around making a fool of yourself with no concern whatsoever of how uncomfortable and awkward you are making someone else's home life.

Knocking on his door creeping around the hallway and always underfoot when he is in the common areas of YOUR house.

Until he finally has to tell you that your advances and innuendo (and caftan lifting) are not welcome and that he has zero interest in anything but renting his room. Even though by now you've convinced yourself he's been giving you signals or leading you on or teasing you.

Now comes the part where you turn nasty and show your true colors, and in doing so reveal the reason you are not with anyone. You'll start making new house rules. Start picking fights and just generally being a vile little queen. Until he either runs for his life or you drunkenly throw him out.

I didn't read the thread but I definitely know who you are. So, good luck.

Project much, R153? You've got everything and everyone all figured out.

Oh you queens this whole thread is just a fake scenario , puleeze.....Are you really playing into this bullshit? Lets get some real stuff going on here .

Today he told me he loves me!!! I said it too. We kissed and now we're getting married.

R156 is not the OP.

This morning, he and I had a talk with our other roommate about guest rules in the house. We established:

1) It is not okay to have people sleeping over more often than not.

2) Two or more guests coming over requires you give a notice to the other roommates (a text will suffice).

3) You need permission to have two or more guests spend the night.

He did most of the talking. He's definitely the boss, even though it's my house. He's such an Alpha Gay! I'm glad I have him as a heavy to keep the other roommates in order. I felt like a client having my lawyer represent me when we talked with the other roommate (who has been having multiple people spend the night almost every night in his room).

This is insane (if true). You have your tenant making rules in your house. Soon he will be charging YOU rent and making you pay fines for any infringement of the rules. And if you break too many, he may well kick you out.

R159, now now, what could possibly go wrong when a landlord starts stalking and sexually harassing his tenant who happens to be a lawyer. Nothing!

Although I suspect the tenant's already chopped to pieces and his remains are dissolving in acid as we speak.

This is one of those dull collaborative fiction threads that the webmaster used to erroneously think was so hilarious and desperately protected with red tags.

BREAKING NEWS: it's fucking stupid.

Fake, fake, McFakington. The biggest pile of fanatical bullshit I've read in a long time. Cheers for the laughs, OP.

very entertaining, indeed

If this is even remotely true..SAD SAD SAD

Fanatical = Fantastical?

Okay, he and I seem to do most of our communication via text. We have long text conversations throughout the day.

What's disappointing is that in the evening, he goes to his room, I stay in the living room, and we continue to talk via text. It's kind of disappointing that he'd rather talk that way instead of coming out and joining me. I guess he just wants to relax.

He smokes pot, unfortunately. But he does it in his car, not in the house. I do get concerned about the pot smell. I didn't realize that all my roommates are apparently pot smokers.

Anyway, he has a "close friend" coming over on Saturday that he's going to spend the day with. I asked if it was a potential significant other, he said no, just someone he goes to Hawaii with. On his Facebook page, he's had a Hawaii trip with this cute guy, it looks like they could have become a couple had that guy not moved back down to Texas. Apparently, he's in town visiting.

Maybe I should try going after the competition?

Why are you always posting between 2-5 am, OP?

Meth head much?

[quote]I didn't realize that all my roommates are apparently pot smokers.

Are they not your tenants? You haven't signed the deeds over to the lawyer already!?

Please give us a vivid description of his anal region

Yesterday, he and I installed security cameras outside the house. It feels like being in a domestic partnership. But I was sad too because I don't have him and he has that other guy coming over.

I finally confided in my downstairs roommate about my feelings for the lawyer (whom she absolutely loves in a platonic way, she thinks he's amazing).

I told her I don't know if I can continue living with him for more than a year. She says I need to be patient and that I don't want to be the rebound guy. She says, "You don't know what will happen within the next year. And there's a silver lining. You're the guy he shares the house with and comes home to every night. You share that part of him that other guys don't."

She said she saw sparks flying when we were at the piano together, but she couldn't tell who they were coming from.

I love you, R156

Everyone still alive and not missing any body parts? Good.

Sorry Carlotta, l call bullshit!

6'5" and Jewish? Redecorating your home? Playing a classical duet? Shopping together for FLOORING of all things? 30 and STILL working on a degree? It all reeks of desperation if any of this shit is true!

You talk about an overworked imagination!

Bored? You need a hobby and quit the stalking.

Silly! All you have to do is bend... and snap!

I smell something foul from the basement. Has he started putting the bodies under the floor yet?

I am crushed and devastated.

He just got back together with his ex-boyfriend last night. They're officially a couple again.

He told me, "Once I move on, I never look back." Well, I guess he did look back.

Now he's inevitably going to be bringing the boyfriend over to my house, having romantic evenings by the fire in MY living room!

I hate having to live with someone whom I'm so attracted to and whom I can't have.

How long will this torture go on for?

I'm crying.

R176 2.5/10 you're not even trying this time.

Oh please go ride some dick already

R176 /OP I am pissing myself laughing. I can just see you serving them snacks and wiping away a surreptitious tear.

This shit show's still around.

Agreed r177, OP lost his spark.

"How long will this torture go on for?" indeed. Until OP discovers his true vocation as an M/M romance novelist?

Coming next: "Newly Installed Security Cameras Reveal Heartbreaking Sex Acts."

Followed by: "Despondent Landlord Opens House to Homeless Rent Boys, Gives Them Free Piano Lessons. Will He Find Love at Last?"

I'm just going to have to stick it out and forget about him for now.

OP STOP stealing from Sidney Sheldon potboilers!

THERE! Problem solved.

Any update?

Did he left his bf and finally fucked you?

Okay, this has been the biggest emotional whiplash of the heart I've ever experienced. :(

I've never fallen so fast, so hard, going full speed, only to hit the brakes hard and go into reverse.

A few weeks ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I confided in my downstairs roommate about my feelings for the lawyer. She promised she wouldn't tell, so I poured my heart out to her. I even cried a little bit. I told her everything, how he was like the Mary Poppins of roommates, how I felt like a Disney princess who was ready to get married and live happily ever after after only one meeting with her prince, how I was worried about him bringing other guys over, etc.

Well, a few days later, all of a sudden, he's changed his Facebook profile settings so that I can't see anything, no photos, no posts, no mutual friends, nada. The same day, he texts me that he's gotten back together with his ex-boyfriend.

A few days later, I text him, asking if he was available to help me move furniture. He wasn't, so I told him I could do it without him. A few hours later, he sends me a cold, rude text message. "Just as a heads up, if you need to make arrangements regarding the house, give me a day or two notice. And I don't have time to be texting you all day long throughout the day, so if it's something important, wait until you see me at home." Well, I HADN'T been texting him all day long. So, I stopped texting him all together after that.

Then on Easter, I had bought See's candies Easter baskets for all my roommates. I left them in front of each of their rooms. The lawyer ignored his, didn't acknowledge it, didn't say thank you, just acted completely cold as ice. I ended up having to take it back because I didn't want to be accused of harassing him with an unwanted gift.

A few days later, the downstairs roommate calls up my older sister and tells her that the lawyer wants out of the lease, that he's been freaking out, biting his nails nervously, that he's scared for his life, that he's scared to bring guys home, that he had never really gotten back together with his ex-boyfriend, that it had been a lie, etc. I e-mailed him and asked if we could talk and clear the air, but he refused to meet with me.

Later, he e-mailed my sister. My downstairs roommate had told him EVERYTHING I had confided to her in, and when she passed it along, somehow it got all twisted. As an example, I had said something like, "I wonder if his boyfriend will feel scared when he meets me?" (Because I considered myself better looking than the boyfriend), and somehow, that got twisted around to, "He has expressed a desire to scare away anybody who poses a threat to his delusional fantasy!" And all the texts I had sent my downstairs roommate, she had taken screenshots of and sent to the lawyer.

My sister and I tried to get him to stay, to relax, to work something out. But everything just got blown out of proportion and the lawyer is convinced that I'm a dangerous sociopath. My sister tried to explain that I have Asperger's, that I'm not dangerous.

Anyway, he's already found a new place to live. He'll be out of the house around April 30th. In the meantime, I'm staying at my sister's because I don't want to take the risk of provoking the lawyer into filing a restraining order against me and taking my house away from me.

I feel really heartbroken. I've never had my confidence been so betrayed in my life. I've never felt so stabbed in the back. I've never felt so misjudged and so misunderstood.

I've been crying for days.

I wish I had never met this lawyer. I wish he had never moved in.

Fuck man you need to get it together! Kick them all out! Be a grown up take control and stop being a damn baby. Crazy son of a bitch

Start by removing the downstairs roommate if you can. The one thing I hate is gossiping people, who should know better.

Funnest EST Troll saga---EVAH!

Not just a gossip r191 but a malicious stirring gossip who needs to face the consequences of her actions. She needs to go (not in a fatal way, don't twist my words)

"My sister tried to explain that I have Asperger's"

And the embarrassing thing is that I had texted her, "Last night, I had a mantra going, 'I love blank and I don't need blank.' It made me feel better." She sent a screenshot of that text to him. All I meant was that I had an affirmation that I said in my mind a few times. But the lawyer took it to mean that I was literally chanting his name all night.

Lessee, so...OP is living with a modern version of the Harper Valley PTA. On pot.

Northern California?

I honestly think that this lawyer has narcissistic personality disorder.

When my downstairs roommate asked him for advice on her outfit, he lashed out at her, "I find it highly offensive that you treat me like a stereotypical gay guy by asking me for fashion advice."

Also, he seems to smoke a lot of pot. He's very paranoid.

Well, maybe it's good riddance. But I'm still broken-hearted.

OP, you seem like your intentions are good, but you would've been wise to play it cool. Do you NEED roommates for financial reasons? If not, it might be best to evict everyone and live alone (especially that bitch who betrayed you).

DO NOT contact the lawyer ever again. Unfriend him on Facebook and try to forget about him entirely. For legal purposes, dont delete his texts or emails.

R198, I already unfriended him.

I need to have roommates to pay the mortgage.

So what are you gonna do about the big mouth downstairs Op? Do you have any ideas? Have you confronted the bitch? She obviously thinks you are cuckoo for coco pops so I wonder how things between you and her will play out.

[quote] I need to have roommates to pay the mortgage.

I thought you inherited the house? You said it's the first house you've ever owned. That's a bummer if you don't have any choice in the matter. Would you be within your legal rights to kick the shit stirring evil bint downstairs out?

Aww poor OP :( Have you confronted the downstairs roommate??

Poke the bitches' condoms with a sewing needle and baby lifewrecker will remove her

[quote] I think I'm more muscular.

Of course you do, dear.

'I asked if it was a potential significant other, he said no, just someone he goes to Hawaii with. '

Hahaha. You're free entertainment, OP. Bless you.

'But the lawyer took it to mean that I was literally chanting his name all night.'

Crying with laughter.

R201, the house wasn't paid off when I inherited it.

R205, I'm not that naive. I'm pretty sure there was something sexual going on.

I sincerely hope OP is trolling.

R209, I wish that were the case.

I wish I had never confided in my downstairs roommate.

I didn't just lose a potential relationship, a potential friendship, etc. I also lost a good roommate. He was so handy around the house, cleaning, installing the new washer/dryer, installing the security cameras, etc.

This is the hardest lesson I've ever learned in my life.

I'm just so sad. I've never felt so mortified in my life,

He's leaving, and it's all my fault, because I confided in the downstairs roommate.

If this is real, confiding in your downstairs roommate is not the biggest of your problems. OP, go reread this thread from the beginning. You came close to being a stalker in your own home. Your downstairs roommate was right to let him know and I can't say I blame him for moving out. Can you imagine how uncomfortable he must feel? Now, learn from this and don't make the same mistake again.

Yes to R212. OP, I am pretty sure I've seen films with this theme. Your fantasies have turned you into a creepy stalker. If you don't get a grip, next you'll be installing hidden cameras to spy on your flatmates. Get a life, please.

Sadly, R212, I won't have the opportunity to make the same mistake twice.

Why, R214?

R215, what are the odds of the guy of your dreams showing up at your door and wanting to move in happening again, let alone, happening once?

That's the only thing you get from this whole fiasco? Well, ok.

Loose lips sink ships.

post a picture of both the frau and the jews lawyer

OP, just go find some hot rough trade to give you what you really need.

The lawyer has finally moved out. I'm sad and disappointed and heartbroken, but I feel better after talking with the he downstairs roommate.

The lawyer is like a gay Christian Grey, very charming, very irresistible, but very toxic. He was never interested in me, and he was never going to be interested in me. I'm not his type. He prefers smaller guys because he likes to be the dominant partner (and while we're both 6'5", I'm more muscular than him).

Before the downstairs roommate ever talked with me, the lawyer had talked with her, telling her that he knew that I was attracted to him. That's why she had asked me if I was attracted to him because she wanted to confirm for herself, and that's when I poured out my heart to her about wanting to settle down with him, have kids, etc. Although she had promised not to tell, she did tell. I guess she thought she wasn't telling him anything he didn't really already know, but I guess he didn't know how seriously I liked him. She says she greatly overestimated his rationality when she told him, and that she did not agree with the way he handled things. She thought he acted like a 16 year-old, he should never have lied to me about getting back with his ex-boyfriend. She thinks the way he treated me and my family was shitty and horrible.

She says to me, "You do not want to be with this guy. He is a toxic person, he is an asshole, he is a jerk, and the way he treated you was really cruel. It is a good thing for you that he moved out. You dodged a bullet. He would have made your life miserable and ruined you."

Holy shit OP, are you sure you're not borderline rather than Aspergers? This sort of idealisation/demonisation of people is a classic symptom.

*idealization and devaluation, sorry

If this tale is anything but a fantasy, OP, you are one sad and clueless guy. Do you really not get why someone would be creeped out by their landlord/housemate obsessing over them? Put yourself in his place, for a change. Think of the ramifications, the loss of privacy and autonomy. Would you like to be in that situation? He had a lucky escape.

Damaged psyche. Keep clear...

OP, every single person on this thread knew he wasn't interested in you and tried to tell you but you wouldn't listen. You created this fantasy world and scared the crap out of him. What did he do to you that was so cruel? He moved out because you turned into a stalker. He was nice to you and you turned it into some romantic fantasy. You might want to rethink who is toxic and an asshole.

R226, I tried to leave him alone, I tried to keep out of the same room as him, especially after it had become apparent that the downstairs roommate had talked. He was the one who was paranoid. He had been smoking pot right before I got up to check to see if the downstairs roommate's date's motorcycle was still outside (because I wanted to see if the date was spending the night), and he thought I was monitoring him instead.

I never spied on him, I never peeked through his bedroom window, I never asked what he did when he went out, I always minded my own business. My main error was opening up my feelings to the downstairs roommate. He was the one who overblew everything and sensationalized everything, saying, "He looks out the living window in the dark, wearing nothing but a bathrobe!" Well, yeah, I usually do wear a bathrobe at midnight when I leave my bedroom, and I like to be vigilant about who is in the house, so I look out the window to see whose cars are outside, and I don't need to turn the light on (also, the glare makes it harder to see outside in the dark). The thing that really bothered him was that whenever he drove home, I was always in the living room, looking out the window. It's just that I sit in the living room a lot, either playing piano, reading my iPad, or whatever, and when I hear a car pull up, I get up to see who it is. He interprets that to mean that I'm "waiting for him to come home." While it's true that I miss him when he's out of the house, I'm not sitting in the living room waiting for him to come home, I'm sitting in the living room because it's a nice room.

Everyone, even the downstairs roommate, thinks that the way he handled it was shitty and cruel. I tried to talk with him to clear the air, hoping we could move past this. He could have talked with me, saying, "Look, I'm sorry, I'm not interested in you, I don't think I'll ever be. Do you think I should move out? If not, then we need to establish some boundaries." Instead, he acted like a 16 year-old, pretending he had gotten back together with his ex, which I think was stupid. After his ex hadn't shown up at the house for a few days, I began to suspect that was a lie. He made all these sensational embellishments, like I was waiting outside his bedroom naked. Yes, one time, after doing some yoga, I did have breakfast afterwards in the kitchen with my shirt off, and the kitchen is outside is bedroom. Now, sure, I did want him to notice me with my shirt off, but... I was in a reasonable way of doing it too, having just done yoga and eating my breakfast in the kitchen. But I still had gym pants on! It's not like he's never walked through the kitchen wearing nothing but a towel or a shirt and underwear.

OP actually sounds hot....AND he plays the piano. Hopefully he meets someone who likes him as much as he likes them :(

1. Stop making excuses for your stalking behavior. No one believes that you were just randomly in the living room staring out the window every time the lawyer came home.

2. The lawyer falsely telling you that he had gotten back together with his ex wasn't him acting like a 16 year old. It was him desperately trying to get you to back off.

3. Of course your roommates agree with you that the lawyer was cruel and handled things badly, and you were the reasonable one. That's because they're not really roommates. They are your tenants, and you are their landlord. They have to live with you, so of course they're not going to say anything that will piss you off.

R229 = the lawyer

OP, come clean. You're the Jodi's wedding ad copywriter, aren't you?

R229,

1. As I said in my previous post, when I hear a car pull up, I get up to see who it is. That's not random.

2. Back off from what? To let go of my feelings? Why would saying he got back with his ex make a difference? Even the downstairs roommate thought that was an immature tactic that wouldn't work. Besides, what was he planning to do? Keep telling me he was out with his ex and never bring the ex back home? I was onto the ploy two days later.

3. The downstairs roommate told the lawyer she thought he was being unreasonable to think that I'm dangerous.

Downstairs "roommate" may be only slightly less disturbed than OP.

[quote]Besides, what was he planning to do? Keep telling me he was out with his ex and never bring the ex back home? I was onto the ploy two days later.

But why would he have had to explain anything to you? You were his landlord. It was quite reasonable to tell you he was back with his ex as a means to get you to back off and then not have to explain to you why his ex never came to the house because it would have been none of your business what he or his ex did.

Who will play OP in the Lifetime movie version of this EST? Tori Spelling? Meredith Baxter? Queen Latifah? Jennifer Aniston?

R234, really, if I had asked, "Hey, how come you never bring your boyfriend over? When am I going to meet him?" which is a perfectly reasonable question, the appropriate response for him would be a rude, "None of your business"? We'd still be living together in the same house. Anyway, I told him he was welcome to invite the boyfriend over for Easter (I was having a party).

Anyway, I hadn't been making much in the way of advances toward him. I gave up after offering to make him dinner a few times. And this was before I had talked with the downstairs roommate. What was there to back off of?

To the sounds of a tinkling piano, we see the OP in his darkened living room. He's dressed only in a bathrobe. He glances outside for a moment before raising his arms to place a sign in the window: "Roommate Needed." The camera closes in on the word "Need" as the credits roll.

[quote]What was there to back off of?

You seem to think he owed you something more than an abidance of the rules agreed in the contract and the month's rent on time. He probably picked up on this. The fact that you were making subtle advances towards him was probably obvious to him, too. If he pretended to have gotten back with his ex to draw a line in the sand, as it were, then that's a clear sign to you and one you seem to have understood as you referred to it as a "ploy" which you were "on to". It wouldn't have mattered had he never brought his boyfriend home because the reasons why would have been none of your business. Fine, ask him once or twice why you haven't met the boyfriend but if you keep pressing the matter then that's overstepping the boundaries. You were his landlord. There are clear and obvious boundaries there. And he didn't owe you anything beyond an abidance of the rules agreed in the contract and the month's rent on time.

R237 ---> BRAVISIMA!

OP was either bullied way too much, or not nearly enough.

OP, first you need to understand that people are different from you. You can't really know why he acted the way he did if you're being honest about how you acted. You just have to wait until you get over him. I suggest you try and meet other men and don't project your fantasies onto them. Don't assume you can influence their behavior just because you are infatuated with them. If the interest isn't there from the beginning and the guy isn't desperate there is not much you can do to change it. You can hope he falls in love with you eventually but that is not likely to occur. Most likely it'll be a waste of your time. If you're as attractive as you say you are you shouldn't have much trouble. If you give off a strange vibe you should learn how to minimize that. Try therapy.

You seem unaware of the problem inherent in the phrase "man of my dreams."

R241, I know, but it just happened so fast, I had just moved back into my house and this unbelievable gay guy just showed up unexpectedly. I got caught up in the romance of the situation.

If I had met him on Grindr or at a bar, I might still be attracted to him, but I wouldn't fall so hard and fast.

The thing is, he could have his pick of younger guys who were further along in their careers than me. He was out of my league to begin with. I just hoped, with the way he was taking charge of my house, that after living with me for awhile, he would have gotten attached.

What a successful troll.

Jesus OP. You are one creepy, suffocating landlord. Why do your tenants have to bring their dates to the house to meet you, attend parties that you throw or check in with you about their dinner plans? And peeking out the window? You sound like an overbearing mother of teenager. I'd run far and fast too.

For the last two weeks, I've been suffering from insomnia, and cruising the DL during the morning's wee hours. OP, I'm not sure if you are trolling, or if you are serious, but either way, thanks for the laughs!

OP, you do need to go to therapy, if this is real.

OP, your downstairs roommate is a back stabbing cunt, who talks shit about you to your mutual friends, mutual roommates, and to your very own sister. I would never, confide in her again. Treat her like a tenant. She's not your buddy.

Oh, R235, no. You're thinking too Lifetime on this. It's an epic tragedy. OP felt just like a Disney princess, for goodness sake! I see Jane Seymour starring as OP.

Next step: The lawsuit.

[quote]Why do your tenants have to bring their dates to the house to meet you,

They don't. The downstairs roommate even asked if she needed to bring her date upstairs to meet me, and I told her no.

[quote]attend parties that you throw

I only threw that invitation out there because I wanted to show the lawyer that I was cool with the fact that he had a boyfriend and that he should be okay bringing him over to the house without me being upset or jealous.

[quote]or check in with you about their dinner plans?

Lawyer roommate, I never asked you about your dinner plans or what you were doing for dinner! Stop making baseless accusations! Stop accusing me of constantly monitoring you! I always minded my own business, didn't I?

I am so forgiving, I just baked my downstairs roommate a birthday cake.

I don't think she meant to scare off the lawyer roommate. I think she was just as surprised as I was that things escalated the way they did.

OP, has your ex lawyer-roomate shown up yet at your door drunk and telling you what a fool he's been and begged you to give him another chance?

Nope, but he is a fool. He was paying $850 a month rent to live in my big house, and he moved into a smaller apartment that is more expensive.

I looked at his LinkedIn profile and found out that he went to a really non-competitive law school. He must not have had very impressive LSAT scores. Obviously, being reasonable isn't his forte.

[quote]I looked at his LinkedIn profile and found out that he went to a really non-competitive law school. He must not have had very impressive LSAT scores. Obviously, being reasonable isn't his forte.

Idealization/devaluation. BPD. Hobbled ankles arriving shortly.

[quote]I wanted to show the lawyer that I was cool with the fact that he had a boyfriend

But why would you even need to show him that? He was never your boyfriend. You were only his landlord, nothing more.

And now even though he's moved out you're still stalking him online.

R254, he knew that I liked him, that's why I wanted to show him that I was cool with that. I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable bringing the boyfriend over because of me. And stop referring to me as "his landlord, nothing more." We were sharing a house together, he was going to be living with me for at least a year. We should have been friends. Issues come up when people live together. I didn't want my interest in him to make him uncomfortable, as it obviously was (especially after the downstairs roommate told him that I hoped to marry him and have kids with him), and I wanted to at least make an appearance that I was trying to move on.

And you're using the term "stalk" quite broadly. I actually deleted him from Facebook. There's nothing much left to stalk. His LinkedIn profile is something he put up for the public to view. I'm not doing anything to bother him or harass him if I look at his LinkedIn profile.

[quote]We were sharing a house together

You weren't really "sharing". You own the house and he was paying you rent to live there. The relationship was not an equal one on those terms, because you were his landlord. You may have been on friendly terms but you were still his landlord. He didn't owe you anything beyond the rent and the contract, did he?

OP sounds like a deranged stalker. If I were the lawyer I'd get a restraining order on this psycho ASAP.

I'm waiting to see OPs face on the news. I bet there was poison in that cake he gave to the roommate.

R256, semantic nonsense. We were still roommates, just like Blanche and Dorothy. Why are you still going on and on like I thought he "owed" me something? I thought we at least owed each other some common courtesy, compassion and respect.

[quote]semantic nonsense

It may seem like semantic nonsense to you, but that's because you're in the privileged position of owning a house that others want to rent rooms in. No one who rents a room from a landlord ever thinks they're "sharing" the house, because they don't co-own the house and the person who does has power over them. A tenant owes the landlord an observance of the rules agreed in the contract and the month's rent on time. The landlord owes his tenants their privacy, which is particularly valuable and important to anyone who is forced to live in a house owned by someone else. And it's not a good idea for landlords to abuse the power they have over their tenants by imposing themselves and impeding on their privacy. I sympathize with your plight, but if the lawyer felt the need to pretend to be back with his boyfriend then he obviously felt uncomfortable, and your relative positions in the house being unequal would have compounded his discomfort.

But, OP, you were nothing but his landlord. No matter how you have built this up in your mind, that's all you were. You weren't friends and he certainly wasn't interested in you sexually or romantically. Both of you should have been courteous and respectful to each other but you stepped over the line into stalkish behavior. Why do you think he owed you the opportunity to prove this or that to him? You're still trying to justify your actions by blaming him. Typical stalker behavior.

R261, the only line I stepped over was telling the downstairs roommate how much I liked the lawyer roommate. And while I left the lawyer alone and gave him his privacy, the downstairs roommate continued to fuel the fire by embellishing things like, "Now he's crying and playing John Legend on the piano over you!" (which I wasn't).

Why are you talking about he "owed" me an opportunity to prove this or that to him? That was about me trying to be courteous to him and make him comfortable, not about him owing me anything. If anything, that was me "owing" him something.

Be honest, OP, if he showed up out of the blue, begging you to take him back, would you?

knife him and as he is bleeding out, fuck every one of his holes with your cock

Of course I would, R263.

OP are you man or frau?

I'm a 34 year-old male.

So, 34 year old cock and balls.... about 20 years past your prime on this forum.

[quote]That was about me trying to be courteous to him and make him comfortable

You said upthread that you knew him getting back with his boyfriend was a "ploy" that you were "on to", yet you now claim that inviting the boyfriend over was purely out of common courtesy. It's obvious that you were trying to catch him out in his lie. You were making the situation worse by trying to impose yourself even further after he seems to have given a clear signal that he was not interested and was uncomfortable with your advances. You can tell yourself and us that inviting the boyfriend over was a courtesy but it reads like a further ploy on your part to insinuate yourself into the lawyer's private life and I bet that's exactly how the lawyer saw it. If that's true then we can't be too surprised that he decided to move out. You seem like a nice enough person but you're greatly underestimating the disparity between your relative positions in the house and the power you have as a landlord.

[quote]You said upthread that you knew him getting back with his boyfriend was a "ploy" that you were "on to", yet you now claim that inviting the boyfriend over was purely out of common courtesy. It's obvious that you were trying to catch him out in his lie.

No, it wasn't a ploy of mine to catch him in a lie. On the Monday before Easter, he told me he had gotten back together with his ex, so I told him he could invite his boyfriend over for the Easter party. I didn't even suspect it was a lie until a few days later. When the boyfriend never came over to his new place he was living, that's when I began to wonder. At first it was wishful thinking because he had told me that when he came out of the closet, his family was angry with him, not for being gay, but for all the lies, pretending that he had had girlfriends when he really never had, and at first I thought nothing of it, but when I looked back at it again, I realized, "Wow, this guy is capable of keeping up a charade. Where is the boyfriend? I wouldn't put it past him to pretend to have a boyfriend in order to deter me from being interested." So I just stayed away from him, I tried to avoid being in the same room as him. I never asked him about how things were going with his boyfriend, I never kept telling him to bring the ex over, I never discussed the ex with him other than that brief text conversation where he told me he had gotten back together with his boyfriend and I told him he was welcome to invite the boyfriend over on Sunday for Easter.

I did text the downstairs roommate about the thought crossing my mind that it could be a lie, and I guess when she passed that on to him, that must have freaked him out.

Most people split to some degree. Idealization and devaluation are not only done by BPD people. Jilted exes act that way all the time. It's cognitive dissonance. Everyone does it.

Not that OP doesn't have something like BPD going on. I'm just nitpicking.

[quote]Hopefully he meets someone who likes him as much as he likes them :(

Are you kidding me? OP is complete a basket case. I hope potential men stay far away, though once they realize the craziness and emotional immaturity they will run away as fast as this lawyer did.

As a landlord, you must stop thinking of these tenants as roommates and keep a healthy emotional distance between you and them. It sounds like you've already got much too close to this 'downstairs roommate'. Baking a cake for her was not appropriate; it just makes you seem desperate for her friendship and goodwill.

The crazy is strong in this thread. The dangerous kind that borders with the frontiers of sanity, but just barely!

The OP is far too reliant on these 'roommates for friendship'. He needs to get away from the house and meet more people.

Oops, meant 'roommates' for friendship.

But honestly, OP sounds as if he's 20, not 30, and that he's living in some kind of student house where they'll all keen to be best buddies.

The bitch who lives downstairs humiliated you and you're still downplaying her role in this fiasco? It's one thing to embellish, but she made you out to be a creepy stalker. She wasn't trying to help you, she was trying to ingratiate herself to the lawyer at your expense. You'd be wise to keep your distance from her and figure out a way to legally evict her.

You'd also benefit from seeing a therapist. You have a lot going for you but you're clearly mentally unwell.

I think you should terminate the tenancy of her downstairs - she's really dropped you in it.

You can't carry on confiding in these tenants and befriending them or it will end in disaster again. Can't you divide the house so that your living area is separate from theirs?

Exactly, R278, she was trying to ingratiate herself with the lawyer at my expense. However, I don't think she expected that he'd react so much that he'd decide to move out a week after she told him. I think at first, I was just a joke for them both to laugh at behind my back, but they were still concerned about me. She told me, "The lawyer didn't say this to me, but the vibe I'm getting is that he'd like to be your friend, but he doesn't know how without leading you on." She seems like the kind of girl who will say whatever she has to say in order to ingratiate herself to whomever she's with at the time. At some point, the lawyer really started getting paranoid around me when I wasn't even doing anything.

However, she is the only tenant I have left at the moment. Not only did the lawyer move out, but the other roommate, the 23 year-old who the lawyer thought was a heroin addict, just had to get surgery on his vertebrae, and he's taking a long time to recover, so my sisters and I agreed to terminate his lease early and keep the security deposit. The lawyer was paying $850 a month, the 23 year-old was paying $1,000 a month. The downstairs roommate pays $1,400 a month for the mother-in-law apartment. The mortgage is $1750 a month. I need to hold onto the downstairs roommate at least until August, when her six month lease expires.

R278, That bitch, as you call her, did the lawyer a favor. You have to remember that it's OP's version of what she told the lawyer. She probably told the lawyer the truth, that the landlord lives in a fantasy world and the lawyer was his fantasy lover/future husband/future father of his children. If you want to understand the OP's delusions, read any of the following R7, R11, R25, R30, R44, R78, AND R92. R92 says it all.

Is anyone else equally as bothered as I that this lunatic has also turned a good piece of real estate into a seedy boarding house, burdened by pot-smoking, unrequited love, cake offerings and cheap lawyers? And sentimental piano-plunking to John Fucking Legend songs.

For the sake of the neighbors' property values, sell the place. I'm sure it's not just your loser lawyer and cake-gobbling "roommate" who hate you, mock you, are disgusted by you and laugh at you. If I were your neighbors, I'd be the first to point out whatever city ordinances you must be breaking. For the good of all, sell the house you can't afford to keep alone and stop dragging down the neighborhood.

R282, those posts don't come across as delusional, they come across as someone who is not sure how to read the situation.

R282 is the gay Jewish lawyer, who's been reading this thread.

Yep, sell up and buy a smaller property on the water that is all your own and mortgage free. To be a successful live in landlord, you have to hold yourself aloof from your tenants - you can't go falling in love, befriending tenants, arguing with them and then making cakes for them. You're their boss and you should make sure you can terminate their contract for whatever reason you choose. You sound a needy type and you'd be better off living alone and learning to be independent.

R285 how do you know? Did you tell him about DL? Or did your roommate tell him about this thread?

R287, I didn't tell either. But R282 talks like the gay Jewish lawyer. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if he had some gay friends who read DL and who noticed this thread and then said to him, "Is this you?"

>>>Is anyone else equally as bothered as I that this lunatic has also turned a good piece of real estate into a seedy boarding house, burdened by pot-smoking, unrequited love, cake offerings and cheap lawyers? And sentimental piano-plunking to John Fucking Legend songs.

Very wise and sane observations. OP, you are clearly not cut out for this business, and you would do well to sell up and buy a smaller place where you can live by yourself. And congratulate yourself on being the proud owner of a mortgage-free home at the relatively young age of 34.

Oh come on, I have difficulty believing anyone could read the nut job OPs cumulative postings and think he's perfectly sane just 'unsure of how to read the situation'(!) Agree with r282.

OP - I need to rent a room in an upscale neighborhood too. Where are you located? I am ready to move immediately.

This thread has it all - very entertaining. Two giants living in a million dollar house with potheads and a total Peyton Place. I'm just picturing OP waiting in the dark in the living room in his bathrobe, turning on the light when the lawyer comes home. "Home late, aren't you"? Cut to a scene of OP in his bedroom rocking back and forth turning the lampshade on and off clutching his knees to his chest like Glenn Close.

Sorry OP - I actually DO tend to believe you. Hopefully some lessons were learned - I don't think you did anything wrong. But I have a feeling people find you offputting and a little weird.

R292, you forgot to queue in the bunny boiler. No professional stalker should stalk without one!

OP, I can't believe that you actually believe that the lawyer may have found this thread, and is now possibly commenting on it. You need help, OP, not just with the mortgage.

R282 here. Nope, not your lawyer, OP, and for your sake I hope he never reads this thread. If he does read it he will tell his friends and they will tell their friends and on and on. He will realize he was lucky to get the hell away from you.

OP, I suggest you let your sister read this thread, all of it, not just the few posts that allow you to think you were the victim. She knows you and perhaps you will listen to her explain how this is so disturbing.

OP, you sound so much like John. Are you sure you're not John?

Men cluster to me

Like moths about the flame

And if their wings burn

I know I'm not to blame

OP is THE BIGGEST EST EVER! Congratulations gurl!

Question: When is your pending Lifetime movie of the week featuring Meredith Baxter and Tracey Gold coming out? I don't wanna miss it.

Hopefully it will play right before the umpteenth repeat of Liz and Dick with Lindsay Lohan.

Well, I've got a new roommate to replace the lawyer. He's a 37 year-old straight guy who's been in and out of jail.

Stop calling them roommates or they will take eternal advantage of you. You're their landlord and they're your tenants - kick ass when you need to, especially with this new guy. What made you choose someone with a serious criminal record anyway? Honestly, you need saving from yourself.

Good for us. The downstairs roomie has already fallen in love with the new straight guy. She recognized her soulmate from the first glance. She will cry on the landlord's shoulder when the police come to arrest the future father of her kids. She thinks he is such a nice guy and has previously been wrongly accused/harassed by the police. Stay tuned.

STFU, OP. I heard that you are a middle aged Frau living in the ATL, starting up various EST threads. Shonda Rhimes you ain't, OP.

Okay, I have an update!

I just found ANOTHER LAWYER to rent the previous lawyer's room to. A female lawyer! And the funny thing is, her name sounds very similar to what his name was.

The downstairs female roommate's lease is expiring in a few days. She wanted to move upstairs into the lawyer's bedroom since it was vacant, but she couldn't make up her mind if she was going to stay or move back to Virginia. I told her I wasn't going to hold the room for her. I found the female lawyer. The downstairs roommate was really upset. Not only that, when she was out of the house, I had an "honest" conversation about her with my sister. Our other roommate overheard us and repeated what we heard to the downstairs roommate. Now she's pissed at my sister and me and has nothing to say to us.

All I can say is.... GOOD RIDDANCE! I'm relieved to see her going. She egregiously violated my trust. She promised me several times that she wouldn't say anything. Instead, only two days later, she spilled EVERYTHING to the gay lawyer. I think she even had him on the phone, letting him eavesdrop on my conversation with her about him. She forwarded him all my texts about him.

I wrote her a letter, telling her how fucked up it was what she did. I gave her an analogy. Suppose I told her I wanted to audition for "American Idol" and I kept singing and singing in front of her. Perhaps I let her film me, or perhaps she secretly films me. Perhaps it's a video of me not sounding my best. I tell her that I'm not ready to audition for "American Idol" yet. And what she does, she takes that video, shows it to the judges, Simon Cowell criticizes it harshly, and it airs on national TV. That's how painfully humiliating the situation was for me because she meddled.

You are still fucked up, white trash, OP. Crazy garbage in a mansion is still crazy garbage. Sell the damn house and stop ruining everyone else's property values with your boarding house/center for melodrama.

I will eagerly await OP's update to her other short story about the doorman/trainer/whatever.

This story is so complicated. I forgot - is OP a virgin or not? What about the lawyers and the other roommates? What about his sister? It's all so confusing.

I suggest setting up a gloryhole someplace in the house OP, see if he takes the bait.

OP, why are you getting so involved with your tenants? You act like you're a freshman sharing a dorm.

I guess you have no friends outside your house and this is what makes you so clingy with your 'roommates'.

R305, yes I'm a virgin.

I own the house with two of my sisters, but I'm the only sibling who lives in the house. I rent two upstairs rooms out and the downstairs mother-in-law apartment.

Once the downstairs female roommate has moved out in a few days, the original three roommates will be all gone.

OP - Is your name Wendy and do you often call in to the Howard Stern Shiw?

OP, why did you write that letter to the downstairs person? Just accept that she's moving out and everyone is (happily) moving on. You're too invested in these people who are your TENANTS. Not your buddies or friends. You can be cordial, but cut if off there. And you got another lawyer roommate? Be careful.

You need to get a busier life. Go to meet-ups to expand the number of people you know. Take a second job if you need to. Stay out of the house interactions except as a landlord.

OP, I think you need to recognise that there will always be a tendency amongst tenants to bond together and against the landlord. At least, everywhere I've ever stayed, this was the case. You are the enemy who charges them exorbitant rents to pay off your mortgage on this mansion, and they will resent you. This is just natural.

The best solution is to carve off an area of the house which is completely separate from your tenants. Get some builders in and make sure your living area, bathroom, kitchen, everything, is separate from theirs.

After that, only interact with them if there is a problem with the accommodation or a failure to pay rent. Do not befriend them. You are not in a frat house.

R310, I wrote that letter to the downstairs tenant because my sister and I were talking "honestly" about her, saying what a chronic liar she was, how she embellishes everything, that I wanted her out and that I'm glad to see her going. The other roommate eavesdropped on us and told the downstairs roommate what she heard. So the downstairs roommate, who already had hurt feelings because I didn't save the room for her, got really upset with me, didn't want to talk with me, so I wrote her a letter explaining how I felt and that I wanted her gone. Because the downstairs tenant really loved and cared about me.

OP, are you attractive and not overweight?

He is 6' 4' remember and an athletic build, but he has receding hair and a receding chin.

OP, get drunk and go on Grindr. There's no excuse for being a virgin at 30 in this day and age.

Wrong, R314, I am 6'5" and I have a muscular build. I have a great head of hair and I do not have a receding chin. I would say my celebrity doppleganger is River Phoenix. I'm 35, but people always think I'm in my mid-to-late 20s because I've been regularly moisturizing since I was 21, plus since I turned 30, I've been regularly getting botoxed and fillers. I recently had Voluma, which works wonders!

My problem is, I was never what most girls wanted, and most gay guys weren't ever what I wanted. The male lawyer I had earlier this year for a roommate was actually the first openly gay guy I ever fell for. Before, I was only ever attracted to guys on the straighter end of the Kinsey spectrum. I never had much desire to have sex with guys because I don't even watch gay porn that much, I prefer straight porn that is focused on the guy. I have a weird sort of orientation. But this male lawyer I had earlier this year for a roommate, I really thought he could have been the one. I doubt I'll ever meet a guy I'm ever so attracted to again in my life.

OP, your absolutely most urgent concern should be to find a good therapist.

I originally thought BPD, but after that diatribe about the American Idol analogy, I'm thinking autism.

R317, Autism does run in my family, and my family has always belived I have Asperger's syndrome, but I've never been professionally diagnosed with it, plus I think I'm higher functioning than other Aspies.

I do think I also have a touch of NPD.

OP the fact that you would actually take this roommate back speaks volumes. You have issues, and do not live an honest life- you are obsessive and would probably benefit greatly from therapy. FYI not everyone jumps up to look who it is when they hear a car drive by-- I wish you would own your obsessive behavior-- if the roomie saw you leering out the window, you probably were. MARY!

Yes, of course I was obsessed. It was a new, exciting situation for me. When you've been single your whole life and you suddenly have a guy like this sharing your house with you, it's like being a struggling, unknown actor suddenly being thrust into consideration for a co-starring role opposite Jake Gyllanhaal in a gay romance film -- your imagination and fantasies run wild, thinking about all the potential ramifications that can have your your life, good and bad. I was always vigilant about whether he was in the house or not, partly because I wanted to know when I needed to exert caution (I didn't want him hearing me talk on the phone about how much I liked him) and partly because I was always glad when he was home (and not out with another guy). But I wasn't in the living room because I was "waiting" for him. Yes, I really had hopes that something could happen eventually, but I knew that my obsession was going to only push him away, so that's why I always made efforts to go out, try to meet people on Tinder or Grinder (which wasn't that successful), so I could find something to divert my attention.

OP, I echo others who recommend therapy but I once again suggest you go out (of house) and get a life. You will have much better odds of meeting someone who is well suited for you, but you'll never meet him while you're entombed in that house. Get a social life outside of it.

You are probably too much of a contradiction to attract guys. You say you are 6 5 and muscular, but you are also making yourself look feminine with Botox and fillers, which shouldn't be necessary at 35. You have the build of a top and the face of a bottom, so men are going to get confused.

You're a virgin at 35 so you need to act fast. It does sound like you are still attracted to women too.

Are you a top or a bottom or versatile?

Why didn't Tindr and Grindr work out for you?

R322, people see nothing but the crazy when they look at OP. That and his gigantism make a lethal combo which sends all humans running. He'd best get a flashlight.

^^^ Fleshlight. Autocorrected.

R322, I just don't think any of the guys on Grindr are attractive. Most of them don't take care of themselves.

And I've just never clicked with girls. I was never effective with them.

I'm too busy with school to get out of the house, but I'd like to get out of the house. But whenever I'm out in a crowd, I just get so bored and I find people boring and uninteresting.

So you lure them to your inherited mansion cum boarding house where you can manipulate and monitor them. Sounds super healthy.

I wouldn't call my house a "mansion," but it is in an upscale neighborhood, it is worth about $1.3 million on Zillow, and it is 4472 square feet. But... It has white vinyl siding.

White vinyl siding. That says it all, OP.

Maybe you were never 'effective' with girls but you're 35 now and would probably be very attractive to women of the same age whose biological clocks were starting to tick loudly.

I say this because it's not clear from your posts whether you're gay or bi.

Could you describe your ideal man or woman?

This song might just fit the occasion (one of my favorites):

R329, well, let's see if I find this new female lawyer attractive. She's 32.

Honestly, I can't picture myself in a relationship with a woman. I could see myself having sex with a girl, but I just can't see myself being in a relationship with one. I used to want a girlfriend when I was in my teens and early twenties, but now I just don't think much of them anymore.

I have a particular type of guy -- tall, tender, slender, sophisticated, polished, cultured, talented, etc. A guy who I admire and who I aspire to be like. That's what this lawyer was.

It all seems very cerebral.

Do you never get overpowering sexual urges and just want to fuck a guy?

R332, never.

OP that was a very honest answer at R320-- you like many of us struggle with self worth, finding someone and trying to fit in. You are a good person and 'finding' someone has to happen naturally and cannot be forced... try to relax and enjoy the blessings you have-- which are, at least financially, way more than a lot of people.

Please stop encouraging this OP to tell us about or do anything other than to seek therapy, urgently.

The original OP and the update OP are different posters.

There was one fake update OP, but no, the original OP and update OP are the same.

Isn't it a bit upsetting being a virgin at age 35?

I'd been having sex for twenty years by 35. You start getting sick of it when you hit your late 40s, so you can't afford to hang around.

The thread's too long to reread. You're 35, bi, virgin and in school. Is that correct? Why are you in school?

R339, I'm getting my bachelors in web design. I hate web design, so I'm taking the LSAT next month.

You won't be a lawyer until you're 40! Wow.

Guess the roommates are funding these whimsical career choices.

At least then she can apply for a job at the lawyer former "roommate's" firm so that she can continue her stalking in a professional setting.

R341, I had actually been considering law school for the last few years before my lawyer roommate moved in. That was one of the reasons that made him so appealing to begin with. I had to take an intellectual property law class at my school two years ago, and then last summer, I had to do jury duty.

Ah, yes. Jury duty--the great life changer.

If you're so stalled in life at 35, imagine how backward you'll be at 50. You're too old to be one of these insufferable baby-people--these dour, humorless, perennial-infants known as millennials. You're just an awkward loser who happened to inherit a house. And, not even alone! With your sister. And you're both so backward that you have to rent out rooms, like you're in your early 20s, to pay for the house that some poor dead person's hard work bought in the first place.

You will never make good. You'll never be even.

How are you going to pay for law school?

It seems as if you are keen to remain a perpetual student and you must know that by the time you qualify you will be too old to interest the top law firms, who are after graduates in their 20s, not graduates of 45 or whatever.

After you can't get a job in law I guess you might retrain to be a doctor because you went to hospital that one time, and then it'll be time for you to claim your state pension.

You come across as so young in these posts, with all these roommate wars and weird career swerves. If you'd said you were 23 I would have believed you.

R345, I have inheritance money.

I just don't think I"m employable as a web designer. I'm not a good designer.

I don't expect to work at a top law firm, I'll probably work as a contract lawyer. I'm thinking about family law. I'd be interested in representing gay couples trying to be parents via adoption, surrogacy, etc.

I think you should take the inheritance money and go off round the world on your own. If you're not a good web designer you probably won't be a good lawyer either.

So, just an update, I scored a 162 on the LSAT and I got a $30,000 scholarship to law school which is renewable as long as I stay out of the bottom 25%. I’m finishing up the first semester of my 2L year.

As heartbreaking as that whole experience was with my tenant, it brought out the Reese Witherspoon in me.

Alright there is a new update with a bizarre twist.

At the end of 2016, I discovered my former gay lawyer roommate’s profile on Grindr. I favorited him. As the years passed, I also checked up on his LinkedIn and other social media to see how he was doing.

I started law school in 2017, and I graduated earlier this year. I took the bar exam in July and I passed.

Meanwhile, at the beginning of this year, I noticed he stopped working for the small law firm he had been employed by. I noticed occasionally he started making... odd... posts on his Facebook and his Grindr. He started a website with... odd... writing. Sometime after the lockdowns started, he took off to Maui and stayed there for months. I thought he had relocated there.

At the end of summer, he disappeared offline Grindr for about a month.

Then last week, I noticed he was back online Grindr and back in Seattle. I immediately messaged him telling him I had passed the bar and I was now a lawyer. A few minutes later, he responded, inviting me to visit him at his hotel and celebrate with wine and weed.

I couldn’t believe his change of heart! But we made arrangements, I bought some wine, pot and vaping cartridges, and I immediately drove over to his hotel. He greeted me in the lobby and took me up to his room.

But it was not what I was expecting.

He immediately started talking about how he had had an experiential transformation and how he had been traveling through 900 millennia of time over the last few months, that he was multiple beings existing in multiple realms. He would occasionally stop talking to me to speak with invisible people in the room. He said there were beings and angels, his “family,” that were “protecting” him, and he kept referring to himself as “we.” His speech pattern had also changed. He was wearing a shower cap underneath a beanie hat. He said the shower cap was for protection.

We didn’t hook up. We just talked for several hours. He apologized for what happened four years ago, and he said “there were beings protecting him that moved him” out of my house. He also showed me more of his writing on his website, talking about ways of communication through time and other realm. He explained that he was on unemployment and not practicing law.

Last night, I brought a mutual lawyer friend of ours to visit him in his hotel. He continued to talk his talk of time travel and inter dimensional travel, talking to his invisible friends, referring to himself as “we,” so it wasn’t an act to get me not interested in him. He further revealed that he was let go from his last job when he started talking to a co-worker about his time traveling and his co-worker called the authorities and he was put in a facility for a month. He said he was not allowed to return to his home without an attendant.

It’s really sad what’s become of him. He’s 35 now, living alone in that hotel. I don’t know what’s going to become of him.