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Why are buff masculine guys so "discreet" and on the "down low?"

The hotter they are, the more closeted or in denial they are. What are all these big, muscular men so afraid of identifying as gay or bisexual?

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by Anonymousreply 205May 14, 2023 1:55 PM

They are not afraid they just don't want to be lumped in with the queens. The hottest guys never share photos online. #discreet.

by Anonymousreply 1December 29, 2015 2:15 PM

On social media and dating sites like Craiglist, it never fails that the hottest masculine dudes are "discreet" or "have a girlfriend." Frustrating.

by Anonymousreply 2December 29, 2015 2:22 PM

Generealization. But let's see it from another perspective. You rarely see muscular heterosexual men dating fat women. They tend to surround themselves with other muscular men because it puts them in a higher social status and only date fit women.

by Anonymousreply 3December 29, 2015 2:41 PM

Because their wives and girlfriends would find out if they acted any other way. Also, it's the perfect way to attract other men on the down low.

by Anonymousreply 4December 29, 2015 2:43 PM

Because they are cowardly and pathetic.

They try to project an outward appearance of strength, while on the inside, they're nothing but pure jelly yellow-bellied cowards.

Thread closed.

by Anonymousreply 5December 29, 2015 3:21 PM

Love the lines of coke visible on the coffee table in OP's picture.

by Anonymousreply 6December 29, 2015 3:21 PM

[quote] Why are buff masculine guys so "discreet" and on the "down low?"

Not these guys

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by Anonymousreply 7December 29, 2015 3:25 PM

Hmmm

by Anonymousreply 8January 25, 2016 11:56 AM

Because a lot of them are married to women or have girlfriends? It seems to go hand in hand. If they can pass for straight and be part of that world and still get cock, most of them will take the path of least resistance.

by Anonymousreply 9January 25, 2016 1:00 PM

Heaven forbid they should be viewed as less than a "man".

by Anonymousreply 10January 25, 2016 1:08 PM

This is the problem with datalounge. People post things even they don't believe in. That's called trolling. Also not funny. Too bad the funny people have gone.

by Anonymousreply 11January 25, 2016 1:12 PM

God, this horse died a looooong time ago, OP. Surely there are other irrelevant things to obsess over. Like underage pop stars or "Bi-sexual" tattooed "actors."

by Anonymousreply 12January 25, 2016 1:18 PM

Discrimination is everywhere. Think of the thousands of dollars you've lost or will over your lifetime due to this. It's real. Some people don't want to deal with that.

by Anonymousreply 13January 25, 2016 2:37 PM

Don't want to associated with effeminate men

by Anonymousreply 14April 17, 2016 1:21 PM

Hmmm

by Anonymousreply 15July 1, 2016 12:39 PM

Because they look at shows like "Modern Family" and realize that while the characters are *supposed* to be a caricature of gay men, that's actually what most of America thinks gay men are like and they don't want to be associated with.

Because when another gay guy comes up to them and squeals "heyyyy girlfriend!!!" they get the same look on their face that black lawyers and doctors do when another black guys comes up and shouts "Yo bruthah!! Sup my nig***?"

Because what R9 said

by Anonymousreply 16July 1, 2016 12:48 PM

They are hot!

by Anonymousreply 17July 1, 2016 1:15 PM

Because they have more to lose. They don't want to lose hot masculine privilege and street cred.

by Anonymousreply 18July 1, 2016 1:23 PM

TOXIC MASCULINITY

by Anonymousreply 19July 1, 2016 1:33 PM

Attractive masculinity

by Anonymousreply 20July 1, 2016 1:38 PM

I think the gay men and women who took bullets at Pulse are considered real "men". Not these a-holes.

by Anonymousreply 21July 1, 2016 1:42 PM

MASKULINITY!

by Anonymousreply 22July 1, 2016 1:49 PM

R22.

by Anonymousreply 23July 1, 2016 1:50 PM

Alphas don't wanna be Betas

by Anonymousreply 24July 1, 2016 1:54 PM

Seth Green is gay?

by Anonymousreply 25July 1, 2016 2:15 PM

Nope

by Anonymousreply 26July 1, 2016 2:16 PM

Cause they know out gays will not be withholding their holes anytime soon. Hell, most fem dudes will put up with just about anything as long as you give them good dick. No incentive to come out. Simple supply and demand at work.

by Anonymousreply 27July 2, 2016 3:36 AM

Widespread homophobia. If there was less of it, they probably wouldn't.

by Anonymousreply 28July 2, 2016 4:49 AM

I wish more dudes like this were out

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by Anonymousreply 29November 17, 2016 12:47 AM

R6

Awesome.

by Anonymousreply 30November 17, 2016 1:16 AM

Why like him? R29

by Anonymousreply 31November 19, 2016 8:33 AM

Straight people also talk about being discreet when trolling the internet for sleazy, bottom of the barrel sex. It all stems from shame. They're just not that into you.

by Anonymousreply 32November 19, 2016 8:42 AM

[quote] Because when another gay guy comes up to them and squeals "heyyyy girlfriend!!!" they get the same look on their face that black lawyers and doctors do when another black guys comes up and shouts "Yo bruthah!! Sup my nig***?"

That sounds about right.

by Anonymousreply 33November 19, 2016 8:50 AM

Because 'gay culture' elevates and symbolizes the OPPOSITE of the HOT masculinity that made them want dick in the first place.

by Anonymousreply 34November 19, 2016 9:16 AM

Because it's a form of drag and being "discreet" and "on the down low" is all part of the act. "I've never been with a guy before" and "I don't kiss" are also part of the dress code for the average "masculine" gay man with certain issues.

by Anonymousreply 35November 19, 2016 9:17 AM

No, I think acting flamboyantly effeminate and using the wrong gender pronouns for males is the drag act

by Anonymousreply 36November 19, 2016 9:51 AM

R5 is correct, they're cowards....

by Anonymousreply 37November 19, 2016 10:08 AM

[quote]No, I think acting flamboyantly effeminate and using the wrong gender pronouns for males is the drag act

There's a reason why gay men are shit at sports. Some gay men may not like to admit it, but facts is facts. I've never met a so-called "masculine" gay man who didn't seem to be trying very hard to appear so. It's a drag act. The flamboyantly effeminate is a very natural, easy and common type of gay man. Stereotypes exist for a reason, you know. You can build your muscles up, pretend to like sports and try to make your voice sound deeper, but you can't erase the gay face down at the gym.

by Anonymousreply 38November 19, 2016 10:08 AM

R38, perhaps you just hang around effeminate gay dudes. That's okay if that's who you are, but birds of a feather tend to flock together. Effeminate guys tend not to chill with masc or mainstream dudes

by Anonymousreply 39November 19, 2016 10:12 AM

We hear you R38

Jason Collins Michael Sam Robbie Rogers Gareth Thomas

by Anonymousreply 40November 19, 2016 10:16 AM

r40 Yeah, those guys are shining examples of sporting achievement. Michael Sam and Robbie Rogers both at the top of their profession, right? Come on, it's hardly a controversial statement. Gay men are shit at sports and the ones who come out tend to be... whisper it... a bit shit at their sport. This idea that stating the obvious is wrong is ridiculous. Stating that black men tend to be better at athletics, say, or boxing, than their white counterparts isn't racist, it's just a fact. And recognizing that gay men are shit at sports on the whole is just stating a similar fact. Gay men just have to try much harder to excel at these kinds of masculine endeavors. The same way that "masculine" gay men have to try very hard to appear as they do. It must be a strain.

by Anonymousreply 41November 19, 2016 10:22 AM

Stereotypes exist mainly because when people want to classify people they go for what stands out but what stands out doesn't necessarily mean is the most prevalent feature. R38

Sexual orientation doesn't define gender expression nor does it determine your physical skills. Far from that. Gay men are very common in sports and very passionate like any other man.

by Anonymousreply 42November 19, 2016 10:28 AM

[quote]Gay men are very common in sports

Mostly in the performative sports, like diving, gymnastics and so on. Just as gay men tend to be very good at dancing, say, and the performing arts.

by Anonymousreply 43November 19, 2016 10:34 AM

R43, if you're fem, so be it. Just don't try to make effeminancy the norm for other gay men. Investmeny in that tired archaic stereotype is what makes so many bi and gay men stay closeted or avoid gay openly men altogether

by Anonymousreply 44November 19, 2016 10:40 AM

[quote]R43, if you're fem, so be it. Just don't try to make effeminancy the norm for other gay men. Investmeny in that tired archaic stereotype is what makes so many bi and gay men stay closeted or avoid gay openly men altogether

I'm just stating the obvious. A stereotype can only be "tired" or archaic if it's no longer true but the stereotype remains because it appears to be based on a truism. Gay men are shit at sports. Whether I want that to be true or not is irrelevant.

by Anonymousreply 45November 19, 2016 10:57 AM

WTF? If the best athletes could come out and not suffer repercussions they would. There have been whispers and/or rumors about Aaron Rodgers, Russell Wilson, JJ Watt, Gronkowski, Odell-Beckham Jr., David Beckham, Cristiano Ronaldo...world class athletes, ALL of them.

Toxic, shill, vitriol...oh, I don't know, like what DL folks are presently up to, are why no hyper masculine, successful athlete would dare come out. Teammates and team owners would be pissed off and highly resentful of the assured media circus and resulting distraction and negative spotlight.

There were strong leaks to the media several years ago that a group of NFL superstars were going to come out in masse...simultaneously. Aaron Rodgers and JJ Watt were said to be among the household names...one by one they all caved in to the pressure of dread of the inevitable shit storm soon to follow. We're still not at that time and place, where the average athlete, or masculine gay man feels comfortable and confident enough to burst open the closet door. Attitudes like some of you DL cunts here on display also ensure the closet is going to be remaining overcrowded. Thanks you mean queens.

by Anonymousreply 46November 19, 2016 11:04 AM

I think the idea that there are hordes of secret hyper-masculine gay men who are great at sports but are just too scared to come out, is a nice idea; but the fact is, most out gay men are neither good at sports nor interested in sports. Maybe it's cultural--though I think it's true of gay boys/teens who haven't had the chance to be swayed one way or the other by culture--and maybe it's genetic. Maybe in a hundred years time, white men will be equally proficient in sports like boxing and athletics as their black counterparts and gay men will as successful at all sports as their straight counterparts, but right now all evidence points to the opposite. Whether we think that's a good thing or a bad thing is irrelevant.

by Anonymousreply 47November 19, 2016 11:16 AM

Are your fingers frozen R47? You know, from texting from Siberia....no? I meant Moscow. Ivan baby, is that you? Didn't DL already inform you that your winter rations are now assured. You helped get your boy Trump elected.

Sweetie, R47. So glad you've emerged from the coma. It's called the internet. Look up...Google gay athlete rumors. Voila. Shocking huh? Also, Google former athletes who are now openly gay, or rumored to be gay. Troy Aikman, Drew Bledsoe, Tim Duncan...the hits just keep on coming. Are you jerking it Ivan? To some of the mentioned hottie jocks? Whose your favorite? You gotta stay warm somehow. Ivan, we DLers are curious..are YOU hot 'n hung? Tell Putin to shove it, Ivan baby, and defect your little hot Ruskie ass over here.

by Anonymousreply 48November 19, 2016 11:58 AM

[quote]Google gay athlete rumors

You do understand the difference between an online rumor and a fact, right? It probably wouldn't take long to find a site claiming that 9/11 was instigated by an alien race of malevolent badgers. It's called the internet.

by Anonymousreply 49November 19, 2016 12:08 PM

I guess no one is trying to tell you the stereotype is not true. What some of us are trying to tell you is that stereotypes are usually not representative of the entire or majority of a the population since they are based on what stands out and not so much on who prevalent stereotyoes are among the crowed being stereotyped. R45

This practice is almost always exerted by the majority as a way to claim monopoly on charactieristics they regard as superior and normal even though not all the population in the majority group shows those traits.

There absolutely no evidence to support your claim that gays are better at dancing or things like that. I'm horrible at dancing and have no inertetest in learning. I like rock music so dancing is not needed. Your claim stems from your own idea of what you think gay men are good at or found in.

Homosexual men are common in sports of all sorts just like any other type of man. It has always been like that and it will continue to be like that. And then you will find them in science, arts, everywhere. It's a personal inclination; not something determine by the gender you are attracted to.

by Anonymousreply 50November 19, 2016 2:26 PM

R6: The rolled up dollar bill and mattress on the wall almost represent the whole of the holy tetralogy of cokewhoredom. All that's missing is a pack of cigarettes.

by Anonymousreply 51November 19, 2016 2:34 PM

[quote]Homosexual men are common in sports of all sorts just like any other type of man.

And black men are no better at boxing or athletics than straight men and the world is a rainbow and my pillow is a dream, etc. Fair enough. x

by Anonymousreply 52November 19, 2016 3:10 PM

Homosexual and bi guys are disproportionately better at ALL tasks. We are the elite, going back to ancient times. Homo/bi men were always among the best warriors and athletes. It's WAY past time to drop the fem mannerisms and speech. NOT attractive, and works against our rights and acceptance. FACT.

by Anonymousreply 53November 19, 2016 3:23 PM

What R53 said.

Gays who want to be effeminate should probably just transition and leave the rest of us alone. They'll likely get a lot more sex as women. (Though admittedly easy when your baseline is "none.")

by Anonymousreply 54November 19, 2016 3:26 PM

I don't excel in sports although when I was kid I was noted for how fast I was at running and skilled to climb up trees. Then asthma kicked in and I refrained from very active physical exertion. Now my asthma is dormant and I try to do some exercise to stay active and relatively healthy and, of course, shaping a little bitthe body.

I'm an ectomorph and I lack exceptional physical strength, but I find guys stronger than me attractive.

by Anonymousreply 55November 19, 2016 3:39 PM

Many ectomorphs are good at sports. Basketball players are often ectos

by Anonymousreply 56November 19, 2016 4:34 PM

Are these his deep thoughts? I can't tell if this is real or a joke.

----

This is is who we are. This is is my social group. We are gays living in big metropolitan areas heavily involved in the gay scene. We all know each other. We all have big muscles and violent abs and handsome faces and disposable income and innumerable sexual partners, each one hotter than the next. We adopt variations of heteronormative looks (some of us are bros, some are jocks, some are simply worked-out guys next door), which we document incessantly on Facebook, Instagram and all your other surrounding news feeds. We post pictures of us shirtless, standing together next to expensive hotel swimming pools, and sometimes we’ll even quote Mean Girls and tag the picture with, “You can’t sit with us.” We go to the best parties, take the best drugs, and have VIP tickets for the best events. We don’t even pay for them. Are you jealous of us?

In order to attract the right kind of attention, we will publicly maintain that this isn’t who we really are. We don’t want this. We’ll say that we really want to settle down. We’ll say that we want to start a family. Who wants to be a messed up, single gay guy, going from gay bar to gay pride, we’ll say, with nothing of substance in his life? We will very carefully curate our public image to show how wholesome we are, and will balance out the pictures of our beautiful, half-naked friends, with pictures of our baby nephews taken in bulk in the two hours every six months that we get to see them.

We fall in love with each other and we move in together, and retire from the scene for a few months, maybe a couple of years, because we have found happiness, and we don’t need this any longer; we’re over it. Then we fuck things up for fun or because we’re bored, and we start going out again and seeing all the people we know – most of them are still there at a different stage of their own cycle – and we fall right back into place and we do it all over again.

We can have this forever. All that changes is that each time you go back there’s one more person at the party that you have to avoid making eye contact with, or dancing too close to, because in the very recent past you destroyed their soul a little bit or they destroyed yours

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by Anonymousreply 57November 19, 2016 4:43 PM

North (is that his first or his last name?) is figuring out what men in their late 20s have always figured out-- youth is fleeting. Usually happens when the next generation of 22 year olds shows up.

He writes better than most, but nothing overly insightful.

by Anonymousreply 58November 19, 2016 4:48 PM

R16 nails it and I'm speaking from experience.

Sure there is an element of self-loathing, as true change happens and stereotypes dissipate when people say "fuck the rules" and be themselves. But the ones on here who just ridicule these guys are not looking at it objectively.

by Anonymousreply 59November 19, 2016 4:49 PM

Whether we are underrepresented or not in professional sports is besides the point, if you ask me.

Some people are born with genetic traits that will predispose them towards athletic performance. Sure.

But boys grow up and become better athletes through trial and error. Improving. Doing the same activity 10,000 times. I don't know many gay men who were sufficiently interested in baseball or football to do this. I know of 2 men who played high school and college football. I know many more who swam, ice-skated, and did competitive gymnastics. These all required many, many hours of training, body development, etc.

My point is that straight men aren't all born athletes with some gene that we're missing. They just spent more time playing ball when I was reading, watching movies, riding my bicycle, memorizing lyrics, looking at architecture, etc. This is a question of experience, not some absolute of "masculine" vs "feminine."

by Anonymousreply 60November 19, 2016 4:59 PM

This thread was wrapped up @ r27. NEXT!

by Anonymousreply 61November 19, 2016 5:11 PM

My dating experience from Craigslist, sports bars, dating apps, and even straight clubs reveals there are vast numbers of masculine bi and gay dudes that are closeted or don't even identify as gay at all. My personal encounters include mechanics, football players, lady's men with four baby mamas, rappers, coaches, country good ole boys, dudebros, thugs, DL bruthas, Marines, and construction workers. They are authentically masculine and blend in with mainstream society.

by Anonymousreply 62November 19, 2016 5:14 PM

JFC every year the list of labels gets longer and longer. You are all sick in the head! Let people do whatever the fuck they want. Even if they end up identifying publicly (something nobody has to!) with whatever label you feel they should identify with, they probably still won't be interested in you. So stop being such a busybody and move on with your life.

by Anonymousreply 63November 19, 2016 5:25 PM

Flashback: Black Is Beautiful

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by Anonymousreply 64November 19, 2016 5:30 PM

Heteronotmative looks?

Actually, an athletic body and muscles as signfifiers of male beauty are a homosexual concept and common aspiration among men attracted to men in times when homosexuality accepted in societies.

Most of what we call masculine and ideal male beauty are pretty much homosexual achievements and concepts; heterosexuality and heterosexual men were pretty much absent in this regard so you can hardly call all this heteronormative.

Things like bodybuilding where male beauty is associated with muscles and muscles signify masculinity is mentioned by many scholars as appropriated by heterosexual men from homosexual men.

by Anonymousreply 65November 19, 2016 5:37 PM

People squawking about heteronormality are usually annoying SJWs

by Anonymousreply 66November 19, 2016 5:39 PM

R65 represent

The current ideal masculine body, straight and gay, is a creation of Bruce Weber via his A&F and CK ad campaigns

by Anonymousreply 67November 19, 2016 5:45 PM

I don't know who he is and what his contribution to the concept of ideal male beauty is, but the athletic/muscular body as ideal male beauty goes way more back in time to ancient Greece and what it is known as the Greek Body Ideal. R67

by Anonymousreply 68November 19, 2016 5:53 PM

Bruce Weber makes beautiful photographs of beautiful men, but he shouldn't be anyone's role model as a healthy, self-accepting gay man. He doesn't even publicly identify as gay (neither does Nan, his wife).

by Anonymousreply 69November 19, 2016 6:04 PM

If I was a buff dude (or even a good looking woman), I would try to get as much mileage from that as I could. Being openly homosexual is not an advantage in this society. People who look different get dogged. It's sad but that's how it is. Plus everyone wants the buff "masculine" male. I don't blame them.

by Anonymousreply 70November 19, 2016 6:05 PM

And R68 is correct. Physique Pictorial Magazine, Steve Reeves gladiator movies, even silent films all contributed to/are evidence of our current ideal notions of male beauty.

Bruce Weber didn't invent anything.

by Anonymousreply 71November 19, 2016 6:07 PM

The current male aesthetic buff dudebro culture is quite cool with Overt Homoerotic adoration. It's just not okay with using the label "gay."

by Anonymousreply 72November 19, 2016 6:13 PM

R71, I'd say the 80s action hero movies were big factors in the buff revolution. And Soloflex

by Anonymousreply 73November 19, 2016 6:25 PM

R58 North Morgan, formerly known as London Preppy, is in his mid 30s.

Old enough to have realized that it's a fool's game, that everyone loses eventually.

He's, sometimes, a great essayist.

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by Anonymousreply 74November 19, 2016 7:05 PM

Steve Young is a big fag.

by Anonymousreply 75November 19, 2016 7:35 PM

Grow up r75.

by Anonymousreply 76November 19, 2016 7:36 PM

R69 I have no idea what you're talking about!!

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by Anonymousreply 77November 19, 2016 7:40 PM

R50 is right except for saying nobody dances to rock music.

I guess the dweeb has never been to a rock concert. Don't tell your favorite rock musician there's no dancing.

by Anonymousreply 78November 19, 2016 7:55 PM

R65 = deranged true believer.

by Anonymousreply 79November 19, 2016 8:58 PM

There is this sort of contradiction with some gay guys: we all like muscular men but we hate them when they reject us. I think that's basically what is happening.

by Anonymousreply 80November 19, 2016 11:01 PM

I never hate them

by Anonymousreply 81November 20, 2016 12:44 PM

[quote]Bruce Weber makes beautiful photographs of beautiful men, but he shouldn't be anyone's role model as a healthy, self-accepting gay man. He doesn't even publicly identify as gay (neither does Nan, his wife).

Well, learn something new everyday. I had no idea Weber was married to a woman.

by Anonymousreply 82November 20, 2016 2:16 PM

This North Morgan fellow is very impressed with himself and his tragic lifestyle. I have never wanted some vapid, showy lifestyle and don't understand people who try to glamorize it. When I was young, I knew I wanted a partner and quickly settled down and couldn't be happier. Can you be discreet and have an Instagram account, by the way?

The gays in sports question is simple. Given the fact that only three percent of any of the players are gay and only ten percent of any pool of players are 'names' that anyone other than rabid fans would know much about. It would be wrong to think that there would be more than one or two nationally known gay players, out or not, at a time. I guess right now those would be JJ Wyatt and Aaron Rogers, if rumors are to be believed.

by Anonymousreply 83November 20, 2016 3:27 PM

Baby Jesus, spare me ever meeting any fool who thinks it is clever to give the finger in a photo.

by Anonymousreply 84November 20, 2016 3:30 PM

You simply cannot do numbers and claim what percentage of gay men are found in sports. There is no way to know that unless all of them are open about their sexual orienttion.

by Anonymousreply 85November 20, 2016 3:43 PM

Exactly

by Anonymousreply 86November 20, 2016 3:45 PM

Like most masculine men, they and the other masculine men around them hate femininity, so it's hard for them to be openly gay.

by Anonymousreply 87November 20, 2016 3:51 PM

This thread is catnip for the Trumpsters.

by Anonymousreply 88November 20, 2016 3:55 PM

R87, femininity and being gay are not the same or necessarily related

by Anonymousreply 89November 20, 2016 3:57 PM

R89 Meanwhile back in the real world....

by Anonymousreply 90November 20, 2016 8:48 PM

Most of us like muscles because they speak of male nature, they emphasise the typical aspects of the male body that we like, but when a muscle guy rejects us, even in respectful terms, it hurts because you feel as less than him. As a compensation for being rejected by the muscle guy some gays try to call him names and spread the idea that they are queens deep inside, that wy they try to regain their self-esteem tht was hurt by the rejection.

It is the same phenomenon when heterosexual women are rejceted by a an and then, in orde to regain their ego they spread the idea that the man is gay and that is the reason why she got rejected.

by Anonymousreply 91November 21, 2016 3:03 PM

Boy, there are lots of bitter, effeminate fatties bitching on this thread.

Masculine, muscular bros can act whatever way they want.

Bros are not seeking bitter fags approval. You do not exist in their world. You are completely irrelevant.

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by Anonymousreply 92November 29, 2016 5:35 PM

Because they are douchebags, as r92 so handily proves.

by Anonymousreply 93November 29, 2016 5:39 PM

Hmmmm

by Anonymousreply 94November 30, 2016 3:25 AM

This thread is about a year old.

Someone revives it every few months so that the femmes and femme-haters can have at each other and then it goes dormant again.

by Anonymousreply 95November 30, 2016 3:31 AM

Good

by Anonymousreply 96November 30, 2016 8:14 AM

R95 It's the jealous fags who slag the buff, masculine guys who anger me.

Shrill fags are embarrassing themselves when they spew such unwarranted hate like R5.

Let bros be bros.

by Anonymousreply 97November 30, 2016 2:30 PM

Uh ok dude

by Anonymousreply 98November 30, 2016 3:43 PM

Hmmmm

by Anonymousreply 99January 29, 2017 7:32 PM

Boom

by Anonymousreply 100February 11, 2017 4:29 PM

Because gay male culture is largely so blatantly effeminate and unmanly

by Anonymousreply 101March 8, 2017 10:29 AM

Ugh, the bro queen is the one bumping this thread.

by Anonymousreply 102March 8, 2017 10:45 AM

Why would they be open if they are presumed straight?

by Anonymousreply 103August 12, 2017 4:49 PM

Same with the feminine lesbians.

by Anonymousreply 104August 12, 2017 4:58 PM

r16, yes ! and young gay guys emulate this behavior.

by Anonymousreply 105August 12, 2017 4:59 PM

Because, like us all, they were raised in an superior vs. inferior enviroment where you are supposed to do your best to be superior to as many people and groups as possible. They don't want to risk their alpha male status.

by Anonymousreply 106August 12, 2017 5:00 PM

Bingo to r106! Few are willing to give up privilege

by Anonymousreply 107August 12, 2017 5:04 PM

R107 which is weird because I had the best genuine straight male reaction when I just asserted myself, including my homosexuality as part of myself for them to accept or at least overlook. Sure this wouldn't work against the tried and true homophobic men, but that usually wouldn't matter if I have the room on my side anyway.

by Anonymousreply 108August 12, 2017 5:08 PM

How do you "assert" your homosexuality?

by Anonymousreply 109August 12, 2017 5:11 PM

r109, he prances and gushes over Mariah

by Anonymousreply 110August 12, 2017 5:14 PM

That's what most guys want to avoid

by Anonymousreply 111August 12, 2017 5:17 PM

No homo

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by Anonymousreply 112August 12, 2017 5:20 PM

Oh, brother, some of you are so dense, "discreet" and on the "down low" = fantasy, it's that simple.

Most of these DL guys ARE gay and out. but when they advertise for sex, they use key words like "DL" "discreet" "not into the scene" "married" or "girlfriend is out of town" etc to entice the gullible gay guys into answering their ad thinking that they are seducing the "straight" guy.

Example, recently I was cruising craigslist and I saw a post/photo of a friend/fuck buddy of mine. In his post, he claimed that his girlfriend was out for a girlfriend's night out and he had the place to himself and so was looking for some quick DL sex.

I'm like, what the fuck? Curious, I call him and tell him I saw his ad and what's with the fake girlfriend? He told me yeah it's pretty ridiculous, but every time he uses the "girlfriend/wife is out of town" the response is 10x more than just a post that says gay guy looking for another gay guy for sex.

In the gay community, there's a segment of self-loathing, pathetic gay guys who think that snaring a "straight" guy make themselves more desirable.

For fuck sake's its called MARKETING!

by Anonymousreply 113August 12, 2017 6:00 PM

r41 needs to go back to the KKK or the GOP.

She's pushing a stereotype as if it were absolutely true. Even she should know that stereotypes are just stereotypes and don't apply to everyone.

And the reason you think gay athletes "are shit at their sport" is because most of them are not out and haven't been since ancient Rome.

So don't speak with your head up your ass.

by Anonymousreply 114August 12, 2017 6:23 PM

When are you queens going to wake up to the fact that a bunch of Instagram hos have descended upon this site, started threads about themselves, and are simply begging for social media followers?

I thought self-promotion was verboten on this site.

I flame and freak all these threads.

by Anonymousreply 115August 12, 2017 10:04 PM

R115, and I love it man! They are so hot and inspire me to go the gym and lift and take creatine every day. No such thing as Too many hot buff folks.

by Anonymousreply 116August 12, 2017 10:25 PM

Thanks to social media and social networks, brosexuals have a burgeoning subculture wherein they can opt out of traditional and overtly gay identity and culture and only fraternize and mess around with other discreet bros. They are sometimes not so discreet about their interest in other guys, but they don't identify as gay nonetheless.

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by Anonymousreply 117August 12, 2017 11:04 PM

Love how they are drooling over guys' physique with words like "beast," "hot physique, bro," and "Alpha." Just never utter the word "gay" around them.

by Anonymousreply 118August 13, 2017 1:52 AM

"Gay" is clearly triggering to *cough cough* 'brosexuals'.

by Anonymousreply 119August 13, 2017 1:54 AM

And Brosexual and Mascbro is clearly triggering to effeminates

by Anonymousreply 120August 13, 2017 1:55 AM

And 'homosexual' is clearly triggering to deluded basement dwellers who think they're mascbros.

by Anonymousreply 121August 13, 2017 1:57 AM

R119, duh, of course it is

by Anonymousreply 122August 13, 2017 1:57 AM

GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY

by Anonymousreply 123August 13, 2017 1:59 AM

Because most men are afraid of being associated with anyone perceived as unmanly or fem.

by Anonymousreply 124August 13, 2017 1:45 PM

Case in point, the "straight" boys in the photo in r117 is from the gay beach in Ipanema, Rio de Janeiro. Believe me, I used to live nearby and recognized the view.

by Anonymousreply 125August 17, 2017 1:11 AM

Gee, if it wasn't for your incite R125, I would've never guessed those bros were 'mos. It's not like the speedos, overly plucked eyebrows or their bodies gave it away or anything.

by Anonymousreply 126August 17, 2017 1:22 AM

Still I doubt they identify as "gay."

by Anonymousreply 127August 17, 2017 1:29 AM

Wanna bet?

by Anonymousreply 128August 17, 2017 1:35 AM

I do see a lot of girls with these guys and think, "She knows her boyfriend is gay, right?" Especially when they have on like tight skinny jeans and no socks. If a guy is showing off his ass, he's gay.

by Anonymousreply 129August 17, 2017 2:06 AM

IIRC photo at r17 is a pic of the USA gymnastic team in Rio for the Olympic Games in 2016

by Anonymousreply 130August 17, 2017 11:07 PM

R129, you will be lead astray a lot today if you actually believe that myth.

by Anonymousreply 131August 17, 2017 11:09 PM

Males who are masculine or perceived as such are privileged. They are not gonna willingly give up that privilege to be publicly identified with something viewed as unmanly or inferior.

by Anonymousreply 132August 18, 2017 4:28 PM

There is this very effeminate gay guy on YT who always talks about DL men he dates to then find out they have a girlfriend.

He usually accuses them of being gay, but he is very effeminate both in behaviour and appearance that is eveident he tries to evoke a woman and he uses that as the bait to attrcat heterosexual men who fetishise femininity who only want something steamy and quick with him.

by Anonymousreply 133August 18, 2017 4:42 PM

WHy do gay guys on DL pretend as if we live in a world where homosexuality and gay identity are accepted? Because we do not, we should never marvel that many or most fluid, bi, and gay men are closeted or in denial. It's to be expected

by Anonymousreply 134August 18, 2017 6:10 PM

THEy DONT want to be associated with effeminate or stereotypically gay dudes

by Anonymousreply 135March 2, 2018 9:02 PM

Yeah, r117 is the 2016 US men’s gymnastics team. The question is whether they knew it was a beach and/or went there intentionally.

Jake “I married my frau young” Dalton has always seemed like a deeply self-loathing closet case to me.

by Anonymousreply 136March 2, 2018 9:08 PM

*gay beach

by Anonymousreply 137March 2, 2018 9:09 PM

R136, and you base that on what evidence?

by Anonymousreply 138March 2, 2018 9:29 PM

R138 The “Look how straight I am with my wife and how much I love Jeebus!!!!1!1!1” types always end up gay.

by Anonymousreply 139March 2, 2018 11:00 PM

Except that’s a wild lie

by Anonymousreply 140March 3, 2018 4:34 AM

It’s a bi dilemma.

by Anonymousreply 141August 12, 2018 1:15 AM

Because they still want to get pussy.

by Anonymousreply 142August 12, 2018 1:39 AM

Right on R113

I swear I was going to post the same thing, almost word for word.

And yeah, guilty of that myself in my younger years, especially when I was traveling for work and on my own in a hotel.

"Masc bi jock. 25, 6', 175#. Traveling for work. Play when on the road, GF has no idea. DDF and plan to stay that way. Chill and discreet. Looking for same for NSA no recip oral."

Throw that up on CL and the hot guys would come out of the woodwork

by Anonymousreply 143August 12, 2018 1:47 AM

^^And not only where quality and quantity way above normal, many guys would press to see if they could get something more than just them giving a blow job. And I'd tell them "don't usually go there bro. Depends on the vibe."

And if they were as hot in person as in the email, then "the vibe" would be be there for course and they'd be all flattered that they'd made the cut.

Like R113 said-- MARKETING.

Amazed you all don't know that.

by Anonymousreply 144August 12, 2018 1:51 AM

were not where

by Anonymousreply 145August 12, 2018 1:51 AM

DL will be lamenting the demise of CL for years to come.

by Anonymousreply 146August 12, 2018 1:54 AM

Same tricks work on Grindr R148

Though Grindr's definitely jumped the shark too

by Anonymousreply 147August 12, 2018 1:56 AM

It's 'discrete' not 'discreet'

by Anonymousreply 148August 12, 2018 2:00 AM

Real bros would never go on a stereotypical side like Grindr. It’s the antithesis of what attracts bros.

by Anonymousreply 149August 12, 2018 2:02 AM

R148

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 150August 12, 2018 2:04 AM

Its discreet

by Anonymousreply 151August 12, 2018 2:06 AM

It is

by Anonymousreply 152August 12, 2018 2:06 AM

LOL R149

You'd be surprised. Far more popular with those guys that CL

That's because Grindr is way more discreet than any website0 as you don't need to use a real email to sign up and can just delete it from your phone when done.

CL required those guys to create a separate email account that they needed to check and then required them to remember to clear their cookies and all that when they were done.

Grindr, I am told, is a much easier play.

by Anonymousreply 153August 12, 2018 2:06 AM

[quote]Because it's a form of drag and being "discreet" and "on the down low" is all part of the act. "I've never been with a guy before" and "I don't kiss"...

"but I take dick up my stretched hole like a champ!"

by Anonymousreply 154August 12, 2018 2:13 AM

Naw, if they are on Grinder, they are fake bros. The app doesn’t even have a bro sensibility.

by Anonymousreply 155August 12, 2018 2:15 AM

with the exception of conjoined twins, all men are " discrete"; few are truly "discreet"

by Anonymousreply 156August 12, 2018 2:24 AM

Because nobody really likes the gays.

by Anonymousreply 157August 12, 2018 2:49 AM

R155 beat me to it

by Anonymousreply 158August 12, 2018 3:03 AM

OP, dear. Listen to me. When you grow up, you will stop caring what other people think regarding how relationships 'appear' to them, or how people 'act' in front of strangers. And than includes most especially the opinions and impressions of other gay men. We don't all think the same way. We aren't all attracted to the same types of people or have the same expectations about how people should act or be paired off. We don't need the approval of others. That's the beautiful thing about being together in a relationship. It really can be all about just the two of you. Fuck everyone else.

by Anonymousreply 159August 12, 2018 3:10 AM

[quote] Its discreet

You're obviously not masculine buff or a bro

by Anonymousreply 160August 12, 2018 3:27 AM

There is a difference between discreet and closeted. Some people just don't like attention.

by Anonymousreply 161August 12, 2018 3:30 AM

“Discreet” is widely used to mean closeted in male4male ads and forums. Likewise, words such as “lowkey,” “DL,” or “private.”

by Anonymousreply 162August 12, 2018 3:39 AM

R143 That's so weird to me. I wouldn't hook up with a guy who's cheating on his partner no matter what the sex of said partner is. Not because of high morals, but because what the fuck, I won't be anyone's dirty little secret they'd be ashamed to introduce to their buddies. Number one or fuck off.

R142 Yep a lot of women will get horrified if they find out you are bi. It's a myth that women are less homophobic than men. They just aren't as loud about it.

R162 Well I guess I'd be discreet too if I had to troll for sex on apps.

by Anonymousreply 163August 12, 2018 3:48 AM

R163, I guess if it takes a selfish reason not to mess with people in committed relations, so be it. But having morals about it is even better. Doing something that could hurt others should be the main incentive not to do it.

by Anonymousreply 164August 12, 2018 4:24 AM

Because they are ashamed to be associated with gay stereotypes, gay culture, and most openly gay men, who tend to display nonmasculine or unmanly attributes.

by Anonymousreply 165August 12, 2018 2:13 PM

[quote] And recognizing that gay men are shit at sports on the whole is just stating a similar fact. Gay men just have to try much harder to excel at these kinds of masculine endeavors. The same way that "masculine" gay men have to try very hard to appear as they do. It must be a strain.

So many men are duped into thinking they're straight because they're masculine or gay because they're feminine because of this bullshit notion.

by Anonymousreply 166August 12, 2018 2:23 PM

[quote]It must be a strain.

Is it? You're wither a fag or a woman so if you're not a fag like us your opinion doesn't count.

by Anonymousreply 167August 12, 2018 2:24 PM

either

by Anonymousreply 168August 12, 2018 2:24 PM

Huh?

by Anonymousreply 169August 12, 2018 2:52 PM

[quote] [R143] That's so weird to me. I wouldn't hook up with a guy who's cheating on his partner no matter what the sex of said partner is. Not because of high morals, but because what the fuck, I won't be anyone's dirty little secret they'd be ashamed to introduce to their buddies. Number one or fuck off.

Not sure I'm following you chief.

If you're hooking up with a guy in a hotel room for a quick fuck, he's not going to introduce you to his buddies. He's probably not even going to tell you his real name. Neither of you is planning to see the other again.

Hookups aren't relationships. Or they're relationships that last an hour or two lol.

That's it

by Anonymousreply 170August 13, 2018 3:38 AM

R164 You say it as if people in committed relationships have no willpower or intentions of their own. If someone is cheating, it's not because they were offered sex. It's because they agreed to it. If your partner is hot and charming, he'll be offered sex all the time anyway.

by Anonymousreply 171August 13, 2018 8:10 AM

R170 Even if it was really good sex? I don't know, I had sex with people I only just met, but never the kind of sex you describe. Fake name? What for? Sounds tiring.

by Anonymousreply 172August 13, 2018 8:15 AM

Jesus Christ...are you 12, OP?

by Anonymousreply 173August 13, 2018 9:27 AM

The terms masc4masc, mascbro, bromosexuals, bromo, bro job, brosexual are completely ridiculous. They most certainly sound like terms favoured by twelve year-olds.

by Anonymousreply 174August 13, 2018 2:56 PM

That's just your opinion OP. I've never found that to be the case. And I've been around for quite a while.

by Anonymousreply 175August 13, 2018 4:38 PM

Anyone who says: He's buff! sounds queeny.

by Anonymousreply 176August 14, 2018 1:09 AM

Are your time traveling from the year 1957 R172?

by Anonymousreply 177August 14, 2018 1:24 AM

Oh wow

by Anonymousreply 178August 14, 2018 1:25 PM

[quote]Anyone who says: He's buff! sounds queeny.

Can we get a list of requirements for keeping your dick please?

by Anonymousreply 179August 14, 2018 5:18 PM

Because you fkin effeminate marys give us such a bad rep. No one wants to be associated with you.

by Anonymousreply 180August 14, 2018 5:24 PM

Cause they think most openly gay guys are embarrassing effeminates

by Anonymousreply 181December 21, 2018 4:20 PM

Matt Dillon had plenty of homos drooling over him in his hey day. Matt Dillon was NOT muscular at all he was totally slim. He was very masculine though. For me that's totally hot - a totally slim tough guy.

by Anonymousreply 182December 22, 2018 1:48 PM

Most men don’t want to be associated with divas, the Gold Girls, draq queens, calling males “she/her,” or any type of male effeminancy. It’s about being perceived as a strong macho Alpha male, not a beta or fem.

by Anonymousreply 183December 22, 2018 1:53 PM

Because they're lying. They're catfishing. They swipe some hot guys pic and pretend to be him. They "discreet" and "dl" part means they don't have to have many pics and will not have to meet you so they're ruse can be found out,

by Anonymousreply 184December 22, 2018 1:53 PM

They want to marry a woman, and don’t want to ruin their chances with women by having a record of involvement with men

by Anonymousreply 185December 22, 2018 1:58 PM

Because they don’t want to be viewed as unmanly

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 186March 2, 2019 3:11 AM

[quote]The hotter they are, the more closeted or in denial they are.

You don't go out much, do you OP?

Handsome masculine, and mascular, men are common.

by Anonymousreply 187March 2, 2019 3:16 AM

Because they are embarrassed by most openly gay guys and don’t want to be tainted by them

by Anonymousreply 188June 4, 2019 1:11 PM

Most masculine guys don’t want to be associated with nonmasculine or guys who are stereotypically gay.

by Anonymousreply 189November 4, 2019 10:36 AM

Most men do not want to sacrifice their “man card” or privilege by being associated with gay identity

by Anonymousreply 190January 24, 2020 2:23 PM

They're still deluding themselves into equating being penetrated with being female.

by Anonymousreply 191January 24, 2020 2:25 PM

“Listen… I mess with dudes, but I’m not out there with it. I’m not gonna hold you but I’m really attracted to you. If you are cool with me not being out there, we can mess around. I’m not looking for anything serious right now. If that isn’t what you’re looking for, I understand and that’s cool too.”

by Anonymousreply 192May 13, 2020 4:30 PM

They don’t want to associate with conventionally gay identity, which is perceived as effeminate

by Anonymousreply 193May 15, 2020 12:41 PM

My type

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 194January 8, 2021 1:05 PM

I like guys but....

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 195February 23, 2021 11:21 AM

Bumpn

by Anonymousreply 196March 12, 2022 10:45 PM

Same for lipstick lesbians

by Anonymousreply 197March 12, 2022 10:46 PM

The guys in R7's video are masculine bear-ish types but both have too many tattoos.

by Anonymousreply 198April 4, 2023 1:23 PM

[quote]They are not afraid they just don't want to be lumped in with the queens.

That actually makes them sound afraid and not confident in themselves. It's like how people say 'real men aren't afraid to be vulnerable' of straight men.

by Anonymousreply 199April 4, 2023 2:02 PM

As long as male homosexuality is associated with effeminacy, or being unmanly, most men will be reluctant to identify as gay. Most of the world still views gay men as less manly nongay men, and that’s a huge deal to most men. The association with transgenderism and gender fluidity isn’t helping.

by Anonymousreply 200April 4, 2023 4:16 PM

And even gay men associate effeminacy with gay men. Just let a guy display any nonmasc traits, and gay men claim he’s gay or can’t be straight. Gay culture itself exalts effeminacy in men. That’s okay for fem men, but offputting to other men

by Anonymousreply 201April 4, 2023 4:27 PM

I hate to break it to you - they are not discreet or on the down low - they just don't want to be seen with you in public. You are their dirty secret. Like fucking a fat chick. They all do it, but only date the hot girls. And I am not being mean I am being honest. I had a FWB who was way above my league. He only wanted to hook up late at night etc. I asked him once why we could not go out on a regular date. He agreed we could then ghosted me. Then he reached out a few months later saying he missed that dick. Through the text exchange, he admitted I was the best top he ever met but he would be embarrassed if his friends knew since they were all muscle jocks like him. LIterally crushed my ego but I had enough self-esteem to drop him finally.

by Anonymousreply 202April 4, 2023 4:42 PM

[quote]12/29/2015

Is DeFattyGay at it again?

by Anonymousreply 203April 4, 2023 6:58 PM

Because being gay is one of the most stigmatized things in this world

by Anonymousreply 204April 14, 2023 11:07 AM

Because most men are afraid of being perceived or known as gay. This is largely because most openly guys are perceived as unmanly or effeminate.

by Anonymousreply 205May 14, 2023 1:55 PM
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