I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I pissed myself today

Next time wear diapers grandpa

If you are young you might worry a little but probably it's nothing.

You know you're too old to drive if your brain can't engage with your bladder sooner and/or pre-plan your long trips a bit better.

Now you're goin to have to thoroughly clean your cloth car seats and even so, your car is going to reek of piss forever.

It's not like you shit yourself.

I can't condole this, sorry.

[quote]I'm embarrassed to admit this

So embarrassed you thought you'd write about on an international website.

You need some potty training, boy.

Once you are beaten and nipple clamped you'll learn to hold it.

Ask your mom to get you these, OP.

You can't hold it forever.

Why the need to share??

A few months ago I was at the grocery store and the urge to crap hit me instantaneously and overwhelmingly. I had went that morning as usual,so I was shocked as Ive been a once a dayer all my 55 years. I left the buggy and ran to the bathroom and barely got my pants down before a volcano of shit erupted. All I kept thinking was how very glad I was I wasn't somewhere where I didn't have acess to a bathroom,cause there was no stopping that tidal wave of turds. I wasn't ill,nor had I eaten anything unusual,and it hasn't happened since,so who knows why that kind of stuff happens.

Sounds like a typical day to me.

Could be far far worse. Relax, happens to everyone at some point. I wonder if holding it in that severely does damage to our bodies anyway.

I have gotten so good at public urination that I actually piss as I run now (at night, granted) because I don't want to stop if I have built up momentum. So I just tuck it out the side and pee as I run past it and nobody is the wiser, even folks a few yards ahead by which time I have finished or am just trailing down.

Oh, R13, your prognosis is for a future of dribbling.

When R13 does that, he might not be full of piss anymore.

But he's still completely and totally full of shit.

OP are you the guy who got caught masturbating in the car?

You have the same turn of phrase and a similar personality.

You poor dear. Have a tissue. Ahem, well, sure, take the whole box. Make yourself a little pantsuit-there lovely. No one will notice. See, there's a reason those empty snapple bottles are [italic]always[/italic] rolling around back there.

There was an incident where I was trapped for hours on the expressway. Someones home away from home on wheels burst into flames and then rolled onto its side blocking all passage. Cars didn't move for quite some time and people got out and were milling about so it was difficult to discreetly get out and relieve oneself without getting arrested. So, I nonchalantly repurposed that Snapple bottle while the gawkers made their way to the flaming luxury vehicle. Now I always make sure I have a few. Think of the children.

I was third in line at a car wash and had to piss. Couldn't go anywhere, and these assholes were getting "The Works Wash" and each car was taking about 10 minutes. By the time I got into the car wash, I was shifting relentlessly in my seat. When the water started pouring down, I couldn't hold it any longer. I'm a female. I happened to have a stack of NYT in the car, and laid those down and peed. I had no choice.

Maybe he has that fake disease that Jerry Seinfeld had when he pissed in the parking garage.

My sister peed her pants in 1st grade, the poor dear.

R16 I was just about to ask whether or not this happened before or after he jerked off in the car and where his sandwich was.

You are aware that this happens to literally everyone OP? And that your excessive shame about it is related to abusive toilet training?

No R16, I am not that person. I only posted this, because I sure as hell can't tell people in my real life that I pissed my pants.

idiot. One advantage of being a dude is you can go take a piss virtually anywhere if you really need to. Any tree or wall will do. I get sometimes you really got to go so do it

I once drove solo through Mexico, and wanted to be on the road, and driving during the daylight hours. I wanted to make this a quick trip, and would only stop for gas, or a hotel as it got dark. Often that didn't coincide with my need to pee, and at the beginning of the trip, my sister gave me her old coffee mug. And not to use for coffee - she knew it would come in handy, and certainly did. I had many pee's in that mug, and would empty it at roadblocks, or gassing up. The wide brim, and easy off, easy on lid made a very good pee container, and would fill about 2/3's per pee. I keep it in my console all the time, and used it a few days ago, when stuck in gridlock. I hate that uncomfortable anxiety when your brain gets the signal to empty the bladder. And now that I'm 'aged', I find I have to pee more frequently, and have less time and warning.

Depends for you now on old fart

One time I was meeting this guy for piss play. I drank so much water beforehand that by the time I got to his place there was no time for sex at all. I was dying and I had to piss in his mouth within seconds of walking through the door. He took it gladly, but foreplay was out.

i've been stuck in gridlock and seen more than one dude just get out and take a piss. I get it so it didn't offend me in the least.

R26 - That's for a few years from now, whippersnapper. At first, I was going to order a container that long haul truckers use on Amazon, but, with the shortage of time, the coffee mug worked out well. And in the insanity of our current culture, peeing in public is now considered a sex crime, so, going whenever you feel the urge could get you in a lot of trouble.

I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I clicked on this thread and read every post.

Grampaw pissed his pants again,

He don't give a damn.

Brother Billy has both guns drawn,

He ain't been right since Viet Nam.

The cattle all have brucellosis

One of many gadgets for driving, and having to pee

This reminded me of a great story in our companion "brown" thread:

[quote]Years ago, my then-BF and I were on a road trip from NY to Florida and back. On the way home, we stopped at an Arby's in North or South Carolina (can't remember which one) and I proceeded to have a Philly cheesesteak sandwich and a strawberry milkshake, and it was a blazing hot day in the middle of July. WTF was I thinking eating and drinking two things that are guaranteed to make you shit? And in the heat and humidity as well. Stupid stupid stupid.

[quote]20 minutes later, we're in the car going up I-95 when I suddenly had to shit like I've never shit before. It was awful, my asscrack was sweating so bad it soaked through my shorts. My asshole (ha!) boyfriend insisted that I could make it to the next exit, he was pissed (ha!) that I had to shit at all. I began SCREAMING at him to pull over on the shoulder because I was about to shit my pants. He ignored me until I screamed "If you don't pull the fuck over RIGHT NOW I am going to SHIT all over your FUCKING Lexus!" He pulled over.

[quote]I proceeded to drop my pants, squat, and take a giant, runny, Niagara Falls shit right on the asphalt of I-95. Cars speeding by were honking at me. It was the single most embarassing fucking moment of my life. I wiped my ass with leftover Arby's napkins.

[quote]After I got back in the car, my BF kept saying over and over, "I can't believe I just watched you take a shit on the highway." We broke up several months later for unrelated reasons.

Piss happens.

I was walking home one day from the office when all of a sudden a terrible feeling of no 2 came over me. I was almost home, kept willing myself to hang in, hang in...Kept feeling more and more discomfort. But tried willing it to wait. I became extremely uncomfortable. I started feeling dizzy and then conned I might pass out on the street.

I was about a 5 minute walk to the house. I knew I wouldn't make it. It was a total physical emergency sensation. Spotted a Subway fast food on the corner, walked in trying to look calm, got the key for the washroom. Just made it....never pooped that much in my life.

Felt like an incredible weight had been lifted. Then I tried to flush and it was clogged. Scooted out of Subway and made it home still agitated but much better. Never want to experience this again. Ever.

"...thought I might pass out...." ^^^^^^&

R32, I'm not sticking my shlong into anything that doesn't gulp appreciatively.

A female friend of mine got caught in a blizzard in her car, and was stuck in DC traffic at a standstill for hours. You should see a woman try to pee into a Coke can while sitting in her car. Consider yourself lucky, OP.

No thread about our oh so normal bodily functions done in public is complete without a link to the classic Amazon reviews of Haribo Sugar Free Gummi Bears. This one's one of my favorites:

After I read about the Haribo Gummy Bears, I just had to try them. I ate one. An hour later the bathroom and I became very well acquainted.

Didn't Charmin or someone else have an app that let you locate available public restrooms?

R40, it only took ONE sugar-free gummy bear to make you shit? Yikes.

As a female, I keep an empty ice cream pail in my car for pee emergencies.

My friend uses an empty tennis ball can.

I found an app called "Flush" that locates public toilets.

How terribly embarrassing for you, OP.

Also, to r18: Fuck you, you carwash cunt.

This is the one I was thinking of: Sit or Squat (from Charmin.)

I know people who've done worse.

Next time, go to the nearest fitting room. That's where everybody else goed to the bathrrom during the holidays.

Goes, not goed

OP, you didn't piss yourself. That was me.

I got stuck in traffic jams with an urgent need to pee one time too many. Now I keep an empty Gatorade bottle in my car for just such an emergency.

I went to see a play in New York recently - was told upon entering the theater it ran 2 hours, no intermission. So I went to the men's room and pissed before the show started. The auditorium was very very cold and the play was a thriller, so my nervous anxiety level was raised. There was about an hour left to go when I got the urge - WTF? I was sure my bladder had been emptied. Long story short, I couldn't wait another hour and since my seat was quite close to the stage in the center of a row, I couldn't get up and piss during the show. Just had to let it out where I sat. Fortunately, the seats were covered in a dark cloth and I was wearing black, so there were no stains. But the seat and my pants were sopping wet and in a cold theater that was most uncomfortable. Needless to say as soon as the show was over I was out of the theater and back at my hotel, taking a hot bath and sending my trousers to the laundry. I apologize to whomever had my seat at the next performance.

At least you didn't shit along side the interstate.

Pissed yourself?

Big ducking deal.

Most of the people here are sphincter-cinching off turtle heads, dropping them down their pant legs and kicking them down the Walmart aisles as they post on this thread.

R52 beats the 1-95 guy.

TMI TMI

R52 that is hideous. You subjected your neighbors to hot urine because you didn't want to disturb them by passing?

What play, R52?

Did you piss at the legitimate theater R52?

Do I use incontinence protection? Depends.

Op, you changed into the dress pants you had tucked in your car then went shopping? Why the hell didn't you go home?

Hawt

[quote]I have cloth seats in my car,

You type poor.

Always leave some space between your dick and the bottle or else that piss is going to go all over the place. You can't block the air that needs to escape to make room for the pee.