William Hanson, the UK's leading Etiquette Coach

How to hold a teacup and stir your tea properly. Just make sure you're using fine bone china, or he'll snap off your fingers!

Get her!

I prefer lavatory paper to fall under not over.

Etiquette coach, my arse! One doesn't say lavatory roll but lavatory paper.

I use wet wipes, I don't use regular toilet paper.

Under = vag. Over = pendulous, like dong.

Hilarious. For decades every visitor has laughed about the two taps in British sinks. So unpractical, so stupid. And now this stupid cunt tries to sell them as a sign of class..... Yeah right.

Two taps?

This guy is ridiculous and belongs in another era. Do Brits still give a rat's ass about this shit?

Two taps, as in one hot and one cold? That's common here in the US, more so in sinks than showers, but still.

[quote] Lavatory or the slightly twee ‘loo’ are always acceptable and used by those from stronger social backgrounds, or those who ‘get it’.

if you say lavatory in the US you'll get giggled at

He's the male Hyacinth Bucket. Does he hold candlelight suppers?

Pretentious twat.

I don't know.... you wanted to be rich act like it. I find that rich people should invest time in etiquette, but on poor plebs it looks ridiculous to the point of aggressively slaping them

[quote]Two taps, as in one hot and one cold? That's common here in the US, more so in sinks than showers, but still.

You might be thinking of two handles, with a combined flow from a single faucet. The ones being ridiculed are completely separate, like those in the linked image. Don't know why, but they still seem to be widely used in England to this day, if what we see on Brit TV is realistic.

Oh, you're right, R15, that's what I was thinking of. Haven't seen two separate taps in the US here since my grandmother's house, which had the "lavatory" put in an upstairs bedroom back in the 1920s.

He's one of those people who are incredibly easy to hate even when you (mostly) agree with him.

The taps thing is true, but poorly explained. Yes, it's very old money or U- to *have" furniture and to have *taps*, and very non-U to have to buy furniture or to fret over not having "mixer taps" (the assumption being there's always a £1m lead roof that wants fixing before tarting up the lavatory with a lot of "spa resort bath" nonsense.) It's a still true allusion to people who inherit country houses caring a lot more about dog blankets than about turning lavatories into retreats and sanctuaries, for fuck's sake.

With all of his "twee's" and "prissy's" and "PLU's" he's just a common as muck queen with Queen Hyacinth Bucket airs. Fussing over Jo Malone versus Molton Brown diffuser sticks and the relative pile thickness of cistern-hugging mats is just what I'd expect of a man with an odourous cashmere roll neck. His face looks like he forever smells something foul that sensor-pebbles could never mask; it's probably his own upbringing.

What is "U" and "non-U"?

Kosher or not, R18.

As a British person who's had to deal with members of all classes, I can categorically say that the nobility would be the most insufferable, were it not for those desperately jockeying to join them. They're worse. And it's also a closed shop. Nothing, money, fame, connections...will get you in if you weren't born and raised in it.

Etiquette as applied by this idiot is the opposite of what etiquette should be; namely, good manners and courtesy to others. The truly classy never try to make others feel inferior and indeed never see others AS inferior. He's just a nasty little acolyte who thinks this nonsense will allow him to join the rarefied air of the upper classes. It won't.

Hang your toilet paper any way you damn please.

[quote]Hang your toilet paper any way you damn please, as long as it's "over."

Fixed.

Pass the bogroll mum!

I think we've found Sheridan!

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Damn, you know he's going to get a TV show out of this. Remember "How Clean Is Your House?"

The archaizing British devotion to the two-taps sink (so that running water can only be icy or scalding) is right up there with the British insistence that you put dishes on the drying rack, and thence back into their cupboards, without rinsing the dish soap off of them. Inexplicable.

In old movies, the drain is first plugged and then the water from the separate taps is mixed into the bowl of the sink and that mix is used to wash your hands or face. Then , one unplugs the drain and towels off.

True, R27. When I lived in Cambridge (Mass.), my apartment's bathroom had split taps (I'm guessing the building was built in the '30s), and that's how you get the desired temperature. It's a pain in the neck, but you get used to it. (I had a single tap in the kitchen over a double sink with a drainboard. I'd kill for that double sink now.)

Never simply say, "Excuse me" if you fart in front of the Queen. You must say, "Excuse me, Your Majesty" the first time you fart in front of her, and, "Excuse me, Ma'am" for each additional fart.

If you do it more than three times, she'll probably start calling you Philip.

Elegance is learned, my friends.

I think he would want to be as rich as I am and have fun instead.

R26 I've lived in Britain most of my life. I rarely see individual taps. Most people have mixers. Those that don't are generally going with two as a design statement that's period authentic to their house. This is because, bless you, we have some properties older than your entire country.

As to your second point, we've all had dishwashers for a very long time, so don't generally hand wash. Perhaps you're taking your information from some old black and white films? When we do hand wash, I've never known anybody not rinse. Either way, there have been no recorded deaths by soap suds.

In conclusion, you're weird.

DISHWASHER?!?

The only dishwasher I allow in my home is Jesus. I let him wear a jockstrap, and an apron if he's working around water.

What about duck shoes, r33? is he allowed to wear these?

R32 is right. When I worked there I never saw a home without a dishwasher and mixer taps were the norm unless it was a period decor thing.

There was a tv show named The Fucking Fulfords about an aristo family, cash poor but lived in a castle, barking mad and swore like troopers. They'd laugh themselves into a coma at the thought of there being any rules about saying lavatory or which way the paper should hang. They also wouldn't let this nelly little parvenu over the threshold. If you can find it to watch it's a scream.

There was an update on the house and family just last year, r35. It's called Life Is Toff. The now-adult boys who live in the house are handsome. As you mentioned, to a man, not one of these legitimate aristos have a bit of "manners," as it were.

I didn't know that r36, thanks. I'll look out for it. If they were working class they'd be called vulgar but since they're aristos they're merely eccentric.

The word "lavatory" makes me ill. So gross.

It's from Latin for washroom r38, lavatorium. Not a particularly horrible word really. Don't like Latin?

R32, any houses older than the United States of America also predate the invention of indoor plumbing, which kind of compromises the authenticity of the absurd two-tap system (or any).

As for the custom of leaving dishes to dry without rinsing off the soapy water, it may not be universal in Britain, but it's distinctively British. Enjoy your eccentricities! The world loves you the more for them.

Thank you, we do try, R40.

And my point was not that these solo taps would match taps that obviously didn't exist in antiquity, but that they have an aesthetic that is patently older than a modern mixer. And because we're loathe to take authenticity to the extreme of bathing in a river, they're the closest approximation to "old stuff".

Though, actually, the Romans did in fact bring indoor plumbing to Brittania about 2,000 years ago. Sure, we went straight back to being unwashed and hairy for a while when they packed up. But we've had some of our eccentrics toy with the notion on and off ever since. And where that failed, we had an indoor plumbing invention known as "staff" or variously, "the help".

Thank you for your interest in our sanitation.

I would say the washing the dishes without rinsing them is an European thing I have seen older friends do it, they find my horror and disgust amusing as they see no problem with it. but that said they do not use a lot of soap just enough to see a light foam or no foam at all

What the silly queen is forgetting is that most of these supposed rules evolved through the upper class not really giving a fuck about whether people perceived them as upper class or not.

It's much the same with u and non-u English - the words used in u English are the same words used by the working classes, whereas the slightly more embellished non-u words were adoped by the middle class primarily to make themselves sound like they were upper class. People that are secure in their class status don't need to do that, it's an inherently middle class quality, it's why the Queen will spend her days in a manky old jumper that's been darned a hundred times and Prince Phillip regularly tells the underlings to fuck right off.

I think he's in on the joke, at least to a certain extent. Anyone who makes an off-handed grindr joke (see attached video) can't be that oblivious to the real world.

Yes, in on the joke which is never quite a joke. Amazing that this sub-Nancy Mitford U/Non-U drivel still gets a hearing. Some folk just will not let their worship of class distinctions go, such as this mincing prisspot.

Note how serving instant coffee - 'muck' - is OK for 'tradesmen', a word which evidently tastes like muck itself. I cut off the clip when he said 'cafetiere' to me slowly, so I could try and understand this obscure foreign word known only to quaint social climbers. Stupid cunt.

Ok, I say lavatory because and I make my coffee in a cafetière but live in a council flat. Am I confused!

Oops, I forgot to delete the because. Sorry!

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He's hilarious.

Pretentious twat.

Remember Posh Nosh? The wife was a social climber and the husband cruelly landed.

It's under if you have cats and bothlids up if you have dogs.

I'll never understand a single tap in which hot comes out one side and cold out of the other. Only in the UK.

He has to be in on it. Surely it's highly inappropriate to make a Grindr joke in a video on proper etiquette!

Yes, I think "grinder, with an 'e'" indicates he's in on it.

My question is should I spit or swalow? What is proper etiquette on that.

My toilet paper hangs under.

One of the first threads here that I ever participated in was a 400 post rumble about "over or under?"

I don't get it. If you are rich enough for etiquette shouldn't your butler take care of that or at least your maid rosaria?

The housekeeper trains the maids.

I always thought "over" indicated penis, and "under," vagina. I did a survey one day at work which supported this (75-80% of ~30 males and females agreed).

Threads like these are why I love the dl.

[quote]Note how serving instant coffee - 'muck' - is OK for 'tradesmen', a word which evidently tastes like muck itself.

God, he sounds very much like a Gentle Reader who was ripped a new one by Miss Manners. In the Miss Manners case, the question came from a reader who didn't know how to handle the awkward issue of coffee for the painters and electricians working on her kitchen. She wondered whether she was obligated to offer coffee to people "of that class" when she was having some herself. "Would it be snobbish if I didn't offer?" she asked.

Miss Manners said it would be snobbish if she DID offer, as it would demonstrate that:

[quote]you, with peeling paint and faulty wiring, without even a functioning kitchen to your name, would presume to consider yourself the equal of people who do honest work.

If only Miss Manners would correspond with this guy, who obviously needs to be knocked off his high horse.

Lavatory is just a fancy label for washroom.

I have a freestanding toilet paper holder. Over or under depends on which way you decide to twirl the roll.

In order to prevent the toilet paper being rolled like a hamster wheel by the cats, it must sit on top of the toilet tank. And yes, the cats prefer cashmere.

[quote]My question is should I spit or swallow? What is proper etiquette on that.

Swallow every drop from a gentleman - savour the lineage, the vintage. Compare and contrast with his peers at group tastings. Keep a notebook - there may be interesting maturation in future encounters. With tradesmen it is customary to spit instantly, for fear of vitiating one's palate.

A sure sign that you're visiting somebody named Great Aunt Mertle.

I live in England in the countryside near many large country homes (I do not live in one of them, but I know lots of people who do as we're all in the same community/village). Anyway, it's true that the English do not rinse their dishes (I encounter this more often than not). I also can't get my head around the "airing cupboard" which is a horrible dusty closet where the water heater is. People keep their blankets and towels in there. My partner (who is British) insists on warming our plates in the oven before we eat - even if it's just a piece of toast or something. Aside from "loo roll" British loos have no storage. I still can't figure out where people keep their toiletries to keep them out of the way. Drives me nuts. And yeah, separate taps are absolutely everywhere. I'm used to most things now and find it generally charming, but it did take me a while to adjust. I love living here in general, just some of the housing/plumbing/storage things still make me crazy.

p.s. my opinion of the etiquette article is that he's "taking the piss" and it's click bait. Worked, didn't it!

I just wanted to take a moment to sing the praises of Miss Manners, who in any given situation could tell you both what etiquette Queen Victoria would expect, and what the kindest and most thoughtful response would be. And she's got a marvelously witty writing style, she's popular for a reason. Many reasons!

So far, I haven't seen this guy talk about being kind and thoughtful in social situations, quite the opposite.

When will he release his Grindr etiquette video?

In her first book, Miss Manners pummeled smokers but then she saw others whaling on them and apologized, and changed her ways.

Smokers should be kind and thoughtful; non-smokers should be kind and thoughtful.

In Quebec, they towel off dishes and cutlery without rinsing. They only rinse off the cups and glasses. Also, like the Brits, they don't refrigerate butter. It goes in a cabinet, covered, usually in a lead crystal butter holder. Quebec doesn't let the soap laden plates and cutlery dry on a rack. It gets wiped down immediately.

Why would anyone not rinse dishes?

I've lived in the UK all my life, and I've only ever known one person who didn't rinse dishes (a bull dyke, naturally) and no-one who didn't put butter in the fridge.

R72 the Brits DO refrigerate butter. What a weird thing to make up.

[quote] Also, like the Brits, they don't refrigerate butter.

I don't refrigerate butter. I buy stick butter and I put it in a covered butter dish on my kitchen island, where my husband and son use it at breakfast. The sticks of butter not being used are refrigerated, but as soon as its time for a new stick, out it comes, onto the butter dish it goes and it never goes in the fridge again.

We also used a plastic washbasin in the sink when doing dishes. I've read that some Americans find this bizarre. They don't understand why one doesn't simply fill the sink and wash dishes. Well, if you're rinsing your dishes after washing them in the sink, then you're diluting your dishwater unless your dishwater is in a separate basin that is not underneath the faucet.

Now I have a dishwasher and don't have to think about these things.

I also drink tea with milk.

My father was first generation Irish American, too, R76, and he kept a stick of butter our at all times, too. It seemed strange to me, because I had it so drilled into me that I'd get food poisoning if I left butter out of the fridge.

I do dishes by hand now, and I don't let anything sit in a tub of anything else. I rinse each dish (glass, mug, whatever) as I put it in the sink, then wash each dish as I go along, rinse it completely, and put it in the dish drainer. It's the only way that makes sense to me. The only things I soak are things that are crusted up.

I'm American and when I wash dishes in the sink, R76, I put them in a dishpan. I live in an area with chronic water shortages, and filling the dishpan takes about 1/3 as much water as filling the sink.

This area is also hot, which is a problem for us butter lovers. I don't let my kitchen get hot enough to melt the butter, but if I leave out a stick at room temperature then the flavor goes off in a day or two. And if I put it in the fridge then I can't spread it on toast, and my doctor has forbidden me to just eat a stick of butter a day to keep it fresh. Alas, there is no perfect way to keep butter in a hot climate.

R78 a smaller butter dish? You get little ones for individual place settings, just put a piece of the stick of butter in it and leave the rest of the stick in the refrigerator.

He's 26!!!! Jesus does he look almost 40 already!

Bog roll, innit?

He is a tiresome little priss. If ever I am required to take tea with my betters I will read Etiquette for Dummies. I am glad I do not associate with those who would look askance at me me for not flicking my spoon like a butterflies wing as I drink my Earl Grey.

One is simply the antithesis of desirable company lest one coexist with one at one's direction and upon one's approval.

Yes R78 I have the same butter issues.

I keep the butter in the fridge but take it out in the morning, start the coffee, take a shower, and then after a half hour or so it's soft enough for toast.

OP, thanks for posting this. I'd never heard of this guy, but he's delightful.

[quote]And it's also a closed shop. Nothing, money, fame, connections...will get you in if you weren't born and raised in it.

The same is true of old money in the US, as Donald Trump discovered when he tried to crash Palm Beach society. No matter what he tried, none of the restricted clubs would offer an invitation to join. He actually gave a valuable piece of land to the Everglades Club and they still wouldn't have him.

Finally he gave up and, as his parting Fuck You, bought Marjorie Merriweather Post's beloved Mar-a-Lago and turned it into a hotel.

Kate Middleton managed to get access to the closed shop.

You didn't have two sinks, R76? I always have, even back in the 1970s. We'd wash in one and rinse in the other.

I hate two sinks. I can't soak my frying pans on either side.

[quote] The same is true of old money in the US, as Donald Trump discovered when he tried to crash Palm Beach society. No matter what he tried, none of the restricted clubs would offer an invitation to join. He actually gave a valuable piece of land to the Everglades Club and they still wouldn't have him.

[quote] Finally he gave up and, as his parting Fuck You, bought Marjorie Merriweather Post's beloved Mar-a-Lago and turned it into a hotel.

Trump is America's Mohamed al Fayed.

[quote]Trump is America's Mohamed al Fayed.

And should be aware of the chauffeurs he employs.

[quote]Etiquette as applied by this idiot is the opposite of what etiquette should be; namely, good manners and courtesy to others. The truly classy never try to make others feel inferior and indeed never see others AS inferior.

This, repeatedly, ought to be practiced by all, regardless of socioeconomic status.

He looks like the illegitimate lovechild of Prince William and Bill Maher.

That's hilarious. That said, a gentleman should care about proper etiquette. "Manners make the man" as they say. You can imagine for yourself the kind of people that resent the discussion of good manners.

MIss Manners could make mincemeat of this bitchy little twit without mussing her hair or uncrossing her ankles.

He’s 26? My GOD. He should hide his head in shame. The idea of this hideous little gnome giving other people advice on anything other than discounted Rogaine is downright offensive. Brit overconfidence never ceases to amaze me.

What the living hell are those things in r67’s photo?

I live in London during the week and spend weekends at my cottage in the countryside. In town I keep my butter in the fridge, but in the country I keep it out in a porcelain butter dish. I have mixer taps in both places, and a dishwasher. If I wash any dishes by hand, they are always rinsed.