Loving Man Makes Symmetrical Breakfasts For His Boyfriend Every Morning

It's all fun and symmetrics until the inevitable homicide/suicide. Mark, you are treading on thin ice!

It's never a bag of laughs living with an Autistic.

instagram in the link

God, the pressure of keeping this up EVERY day for a year? And what about the BF? This sounds like a treat at first, but it could get a bit much after a while. Can you imagine waking up and thinking, I really feel like having scrambled eggs, but NOPE, I gotta eat this persimmon cornbread with maple even though I don't want anything sweet because my husband spent 3 hours working on this while he tells everyone on Instagram that it took only 20 mins...

I'm not much of a breakfast eater, but if somebody put those in front of me every morning, I'd love it!

OCD Asspie freakazoid.

These look delicious!

Those breakfasts won't make up for a tiny dick and a flabby ass.

Seriously R2.

When Bottoms Cook

I want him as my bf. I would totally do this if I could cook

How exhausting. I'm with r4. If my husband did this for me every morning I'd be forced to ask him to stop.

Because the first thing you want to see when you drag your tired ass out of bed is your partner's OCD presented to you in the form of a 1200-calorie breakfast.

Lot of jealousy on here. This guy takes care of his man. I bet his boo wakes up excited every morning thinking, besides his mother, there is someone who loves him enough to do this everyday. I love the fact he does a mixture of health conscious and stick to your ribs, hearty country breakfasts. Check out the Paul Bunyan spread at #4. Can anyone link a picture of the couple?

Aspies be reading this story like

Their photos here.

Augh, hipster beards!

more pics of them

The comments at the Guardian link are pretty funny:

"For the record anybody who eats beans for breakfast should be torn apart by hyenas and black puddding denyers should be beaten twice daily with iron bars"

"How many plates, slates,boards and cups do these guys own for goodness sake?"

"Smug beardy twats. "

[quote]"How many plates, slates,boards and cups do these guys own for goodness sake?"

This is what struck me. They have a different plate for every day of the year. Where the hell do they store all that?

more pics of them

It'd be great on the weekend, but every day would be a bit much. Although I guess he's doing it for clicks more than anything now.

I see a murder-suicide in their future.

[quote] One person I met said they had thought I was a young Asian girl. That was weird.”

No, it wasn't at all. This is the funniest part of the Guardian story.

[quote]Lot of jealousy on here.

What are you, twelve?

If my bf wants to get up every morning to make me those breakfasts I'll gladly eat it, even after its gone cold because he's had to reposition the blueberries 6 times so he could take 15 photos of it from different angles. However he's not stacking the cupboard with 365 different types of plates, or waking me up at 3am in a cold sweat screaming "dear god what will I make next? Instagram is counting on me and i haven't been to the store! "

The guy on the left looks like Kevin Spacey as a lumberjack.

Really, OP? This is clickbait nonsense. He doesn't "make breakfast;" one photo showed slices of that rainbow cake (for breakfast?) He just arranges food on a plate and then (of course) photographs it. Fucking clickbait garbage you not only fell for, but started a thread over?

Amazing what some people are AMAZED by these days. It's like a generation brainwashed to think everything is notable, or at least promotable. OP used ONE WEIRD TRICK to post a dumb thread on Datalounge!

They are very beardy aren't they?

The guy on the left may look like Spacey dressed as a Lumberjack r27, but he's also screaming "help me" with his eyes.

Now I know where Dexter Morgan has been hiding for the past few years.

There's a dark part of me that wishes I still smoked cigarettes just so I could put one out on his slate and ask for a cup of coffee - black with no photos.

I rather not have a pretty breakfast if I have to live like them.

"There's a dark part of me that wishes I still smoked cigarettes just so I could put one out on his slate and ask for a cup of coffee - black with no photos."

I know I'm not supposed to say this but MARRY ME!!!

They look like their crotch smells faintly of piss.

Mike, formerly a brilliant design student, put all of his professional talents and aspirations aside "for love," choosing to stay home and be a devoted homemaker for his twin husbear.

That is the story he can hang over Mark whenever he complains. Of course, the sensitive, unspoken reality is that it was really Mike's various untreated mental illnesses that caused him to not be able to function in a professional capacity. His talents are now forced into warped expression, such as these aesthetically choreographed breakfast plates.

They are both soon to reach 300 pounds each.

Someone should hire him as a food stylist. Every plate is an audition.

[quote]Every plate is an audition.

[quote] There are now plans to expand offline and into the real world; there were queues at a recent pop-up “symmetry breakfast” club in London. A range of homewares is in the pipeline; next, they want to write a cookbook.

THIS will end well!

I see a manifesto in the near future from Michael.

Mark, get out while you can! U SO IN DANGER GURL!

You know, this whole thing is so "first world problems" it seems like a parody. Oh no, I wanted to make symmetrical huevos ranceros but the avocado has dark spots! Spoiled without a garnish!

I honestly would freak out the third time he presented me with a perfectly symmetrical breakfast. And, by the way, half of thse have way too much food.

When does their lifestyle magazine come out?

This would become SO overbearing after awhile....sometimes you just wanna damn bowl of Lucky Charms, ya know?

Mark keeps a stash of Pop Tarts and individual boxes of Corn Flakes hidden in his car.

Notice the picture #7. The swirl is of a penis. How darling.

This would be better if it were once a week.

The one independent blueberry seeking to escape the plate is irksome.

And here I am, I can't even get a guy to let me blow him even once, let alone on a semi-regular basis. Never mind having someone make me breakfast every morning.

Sigh.

Michael @ R48

"Penile latte art" is new to me.

It's fun to look at these photos, but the fact that it seems to reflect some's actual life is terrifying.

I assumed the penis lattes were mushroom lattes that were upside down.

There is such a thing as a "mushroom latte"? I'll take penis.

They got this idea from me.

The guy is getting a lot of free stuff out of it, hence all the different plates etc. Not a bad way to make a living, and I would love waking up to food like that.

They have to find a clothes store that will give them clothes, and another store that will give them something to shave their beards.

They look like they eat a lot. I expected them to be better looking

Let me guess: Asian with Aspergers?

Like most things - this was an idea that spurned a life of its own and he followed it to make some sort of career out of it. There will be a breakfast cookbook - he has undoubtedly learned a great deal.

Good for him. Did he really quit his job to be a full-time house husband? Sounds like a cover.

It's a cover for "unemployed" r60.

I suppose we don't need to guess who the top is.

One of those breakfasts is just about how much I eat all day. I'd be 500 lbs if I ate that way every day. It looked great in the beginning, but I think it would get old fast, having to eat a huge breakfast every morning. I'd probably be trying to sneak out the back door in the mornings after awhile, craving just a cup of coffee. Then there's the praise you need to give with each breakfast. How beautiful! This is delicious! Cooked to perfection! That would get old fast, and I am not much of a conversationalist in the morning.

[quote]it looked great in the beginning, but I think it would get old fast, having to eat a huge breakfast every morning.

If they're making $$$ off this then I doubt it's even about the bf anymore...the food is probably being prepared,plated,photographed and then dumped down the InSinkErator.

I must admit, I didn't expect them to be hairy old bears.

I'd assumed the perpetrator of all this nonsense would be a skinny hipster with ridiculous hair and brightly-coloured jeans.

I think I'd rather wake up to r32 than to needy mr symmetry.

Mary!

The heat a frau would get for doing this!

And all my husband got me was two kinds of soft scrub at Walmart.

Now this effectively a business, I wouldn't be surprised if he does all of these on one day, the uploads them one at a time each morning.

It's pretty amazing how he can still be creative with it. He also has a good eye for mixing color and texture.

He works in a museum btw and his BF is a fashion designer.

[quote]I think I'd rather wake up to [R32] than to needy mr symmetry.

Most definitely. I agree with the people that said putting up with this every morning would be ridiculously tiresome. Hell no.

Scrambled eggs on toast, a latte, would be enough. This is implausibly elaborate and yes, overwhelming. Maybe once a month. Everyday? I would run like the wind.

R67 Frau would definitely get a lot of heat for serving the "DH" a penis latte. I would love to be there for that!

"The heat a frau would get for doing this!"

This thread is pretty full of (IMO deserved) ridicule.

The Anal Retentive Chef lives!

Sorry but I was so worried that Michael Zee would turn out to be an Asian. I just could not cope with the subservient Gay Asian bf stereotype being perpetuated in such a fucking twee and exaggerated fashion.

Thank god he turns out to be rather white-looking [below right]:

They both look so proper and clean. They probably have perfectly symmetrical sex in their perfectly symmetrical bedroom.

The things a chubby bottom will do to keep a top.

The handsome couple:

Even their outfits are symmetrical! Sweet baby Asperger's!

they are too old to be hipsters.

keep telling that to my 42 y/o friend

get only angry looks, whatever is IN bitches

At home:

Holding forth:

OMG vinly QUEEEn!!!

They do look disturbingly happy together, though. Good for them!

R83 - That's Michael Moore! Not?

The look of love:

The famous wooden dining table:

Sweet jeezus, that would get expensive. I shove some Trader Joe's yogurt and coffee in front of my partner and call it a morning.

symmetrical breakfasts, beards, and quirky decor

OCD. Nothing new.

R89 You and your partner will never gaze into each other's eyes the way they do! You can change your ways, be more symmetrical!

OCD MUCH!? dats fucked up and we are getting tired of the beard thing dudes...you dudes should be more concerned on your diet adn get exercising cuz ur gonna get fat!!!!!!!!

OCD OCD

[quote]Scrambled eggs on toast, a latte, would be enough. This is implausibly elaborate and yes, overwhelming. Maybe once a month. Everyday? I would run like the wind.

I am sure their butts do, from all those surplus calories.

Their toilet

they're too old and ugly to pull this twee shit.

that symetrical ocd obsession will die off as their 15 minutes of fame are over b4 starting...

I want someone to make symmetrical breakfasts for me. I don't care if he's OCD, sick, a feeder, a serial killer..... I want to see a perfectly symmetrical breakfast every morning when I wake up! 100% envious!

R99 good luck...my preference

If anyone made two plates of ANYTHING and put them side by side, wouldn't they be symmetrical?

I eat oatmeal made with water and dried raisins for sweetness. of course one portion witch equals a fool teacup

no wonder you bitches are morbid, and skipping breakfast is never a good idea only if you want to be anox maybe

My biggest meal of the day has always been breakfast. I always gorge myself in the morning, skip lunch, and have a bite of something for dinner. This looks like a dream breakfast to me.

So someone is giving them all the plates?

If he actually made that rainbow layer cake himself, he is a whiz in the kitchen.

yawn ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

They don't read.

[quote]dried raisins for sweetness

Christ, this site is like the Self Denial Olympics. Just put fucking sugar in your oatmeal and be done with it!

Interesting that the one making the breakfasts is FAAAAR better looking than the one receiving them.

These guys continue to defy expectations!

I think they should take some of their food budget and put it into better decor.

He made breakast at Chateau Marmont and Shutters, for Christ's sake. Imagine going on holiday and not being able to enjoy a hotel breakfast or a quick coffee by the beach and being forced to eat yet another cold fried egg-berries-artisan roll because INSTAGRAM!

At this point, does it really matter who's the top or bottom? They can't see their pencil dicks and have to travel miles just to get to their assholes.

This from eating too much all day and all night.

r8 MARY!

r112 MARSHA!!!

R107 MY SHARRRONNNNAAA!!!

R115 HUH!?

If I were the boyfriend, I'd mostly be grateful, but occasionally I'd complain about my food being cold because it had to have its photo shoot before I could dig in.

And I'd ask how much money Mr. Foodie there was spending on photogenic sets of china.

He sometimes "preps" the night before?

Does this have anything to do with a highly anticipated "tip" after the meal?

I bet he buys the plates, does a photoshoot meal, then returns them to the store.

I'm typing in my bed under a Judy at the Palace poster, but even I want to fag bash these two.

Fat, figures. How old be they?

The younger one actually looks good at R87. If he shaved and lost weight he could have potential.

I wonder what percentage of their breakfast ends up in their beards.

It looks ridiculous.

Now I can't get the visuals of these symmetrical breakfasts out of my little head.

I want a husband like this :(

2015 Bump Troll - WORSE than Dina Lohan on crack!

2015 Bump Troll - WORSE than Die Hexe von Buchenwald!

2015 Bump Troll - WORSE than Dina Lohan on crack!

2015 Bump Troll - WORSE than Die Hexe von Buchenwald!

2015 Bump Troll - WORSE than Dina Lohan on crack!

2015 Bump Troll - WORSE than Die Hexe von Buchenwald!

Be a Dutch top then, R126.

I know this thread is from 2015 but I'm seeing it for the first time.

Have to say, what's weird is knowing he made every culinary decision based primarily on how the food would look photographed, not how it would taste or be enjoyed by his partner.

R129 And that his partner was okay with that.

Are they still together and does he still do the meals?

EVERY morning? It should have been once a week, like Saturday or Sunday mornings.

Every goddamn morning is like trying to do Christmas morning everyday. Anyone would eventually loose their minds!

You know the old saying: good at breakfast, bad at life.

R131 I wondered the same thing since this thread is so old.

Yes he is still doing it!

[quote] And here I am, I can't even get a guy to let me blow him even once, let alone on a semi-regular basis. Never mind having someone make me breakfast every morning.

Pretty sure you have to be the blowee and not the blower in this scenario.

Fat chef looks FTM.

It’s the flat forehead

R129 Same... If people don't want to read I assume they'll just skip to the next thread :)