Eldergays, tell me about Yugoslavia!

I rode in a Yugo one time and it was nerve-wracking. It was without comfort, style or safety features of any sort and was visibly falling apart at the seams. The friend who owned it got just over one hundred dollars for trade-in value.

I was molested in Yugoslavia.

Maybe 30 years ago, I was driving on the SW Freeway in Houston, when I noticed an odd car ahead of me. I was trying to figure out what it was, when it slowed down and came to a dead stop in the middle of the freeway. Since I was now stopped, I could read the logo on the car: Yugo. First and last time I saw one..

Actually it was the birthplace of disco.

When I lived in Macedonia I used to have angry three-way sex with a Serb and a Croat. I let them take their animosity out on me. Good times.

But I didn't like Montenegrins. Obviously. I mean, every country has something like it.

It fell apart because it was one of those Rube Goldberg countries slapped together after WWI of peoples who don't really have much in common or actively hated each other. It was ruled for many decades after WWII by a strongman but when he died it came apart at the seams.

In the late 80s, I had a relationship with a man who worked at Yugo. Well, he'd come and stay with me when he was in New York. At that time they were trying to convince Americans to buy their little car, and I worked in PR. He was handsome and kind, and a Croat. He would tell me about standing on the porch of his house and looking down on all the little villages, lights twinkling at night, and realizing that all those people living peacefully together might some day wake up and fly at each other's throats. I thought this was melodramatic but of course it's exactly what ended up happening ... the thing he whispered to me about in my bed in Manhattan in 1989.

Casper van Dien and Novak Djokovic would be a hot porno.

..................

I spent some time there in the early 80's, and I really enjoyed it, well, everything except the food. Dubrovnik was great back then, not the horribly overcrowded cruise ship tourist trap I've heard it's become, and if you went a bit off the beaten path it was like being back in the 1930's.

One of my favorite memories was this little gunboat that patrolled off Dubrovnik. All day long it would steam back and forth looking fearsome, but then in the evening they would dock at the pier, string Christmas lights from the mast, and spend the evening luring Italian and German tourist girls on board. By midnight they had the girls drunk on the local brandy and were dancing on the deck to horrible disco music. I suspect it was an orgy about every night, and life was pretty good in the Yugoslav Navy

The Yugo (or the Zastava as they called it there) never let me down, and I drove one that was a worn out piece of crap. It rattled, stuff would fall off, the lights never worked right, you had to open the hood and wiggle random stuff until it started, the seats would slide back and forth on their own (usually at speed)--every drive was an adventure. But it always got me there and home again, and the thing is, everyone drove a Zastava, so we were all in it together.

Any of those big Bel Ami cocks?

Sarajevo hosted the 1984 Winter Olympics.

Dubrovnik? Say "hi" to the Castevets for me!

I don't get the Casper van Dien references.

....

They had a great and very progressive rock music scene. And apparently the guys were famous for their big donkey dicks.

Serbs are welfare peasants, sucking the rest of that area dry with their handouts.

[quote]Serbs are welfare peasants, sucking the rest of that area dry with their handouts.

Excuse me?

R17 Holy crap, that is hillarious.

Anyway, here's more awesome Yugoslav rock music:

[quote] I don't get the Casper van Dien references.

His mother-in-law is a Yugoslavian princess. His wife, Catherine Oxenberg is not royal, but they milk the connection for all its worth. The country of Yugoslavia no longer exists and Serbia has no monarchy. The only thrones available to Catherine and Casper are those they can sit on to take a shit.

Catherine's mother is also Prince Charles' 1st cousin. She could have married better.

She and Casper are getting a divorce.

I once spotted Yugoslavia in front of Jasimine Guy's house and I knew it was all over.

Yugoslavia is the K-fed of the Balkans.

Cousin Catherine is a fake royal I'm the only real Serbian princess!!

I have a special fondness for it...

One thing it had going for it was Plitvice. Or land of the falling lakes. The first established national park in the world. I went when I was a kid. My father had to travel their for some business purpose for his company. I got to see it before it became a bit overrun with with western tourists tourists after fall of communism. It really is a sight to behold. I suggest you go to YouTube and watch a video on it as I'm too lazy to type out the geological reasons behind the area.... It's just amazing.

Over thirty years ago, an auto dealership displayed some of their cars in a local mall, including a couple of Yugos. The spare tire was kept under the hood! Can you imagine that in a car prone to overheating?

An excellent account of the breakup of the Balkans and the war in Bosnia is "A Story of War" by Peter Maas.

Every person I have known for the former Yugoslavia (including people I've slept with, men and women) have been crazy.

Why do Yugos have rear-window defrosters?

To warm your hands while you push!

The joke about a Yugo is that "you go nowhere."

Fuck you, r29.

All joking aside, Sarajevo should be a warning sign to us all. It was one of the most cosmopolitan cities in Eastern Europe as it hosted the 1984 Olympics. 8 years later, it was under a three year siege full of sniper fire and the site of ethnic cleansing.

Is batshit crazy matt anscher the one bumping threads?

No, it's Defacto.

Who is Defacto?

Why can't this person's IP be blocked? I blocked the bumped Troll months ago, and the IP has not changed. Still the same person bumping threads. Very annoying.

[quote]Who is Defacto?

The 2015 Thread Bump Troll. Describes himself as a total bottom. Loves rednecks and straight Republican men. Actually asked us to find him more porn to watch as he 'ran out'. Shockingly, is still waiting for his Prince Charming.

What is the relation between the two personas? 2015 Bump Troll is pure nasty aggressive trolling.