Cheating and how you dealt with you feelings during and after the sex

The only time I did it, it felt horrible from the beginning. Always trust your instincts. And things do not get better or improve. Just quit as soon as the shit starts to stink, sooner if you can.

horrible!

Do people really get that drunk and not know what they are doing? I was so drunk one evening to the point of no inhibitions at all, my partners friend put moves on me (who is hot and hung) and even though he gave me a raging hard on and I was trembling with passion and excitement I pushed him away and told him no! For me I felt guilty with just that incident.

Love is, above all, about freedom, not about locking yourself or the person you claim to love up in a prison of regrets, inhibitions, don'ts, forbiddens and off-limits.

IOW, love is cheating, R4...glad not to be with you.

[quote]Do people really get that drunk and not know what they are doing?

It's not really a matter of not knowing what you are doing. When you are really drunk your inhibitions are lowered, it is easier to give in to temptation.

Of course it is possible to get so drunk you don't actually remember doing it, but at the end of the day it is still you doing it.

I did it years ago. I felt no regret for having hurt him, because that was my intention. I knew it was over as far as I was concerned, but before I left I wanted to hurt him like he'd hurt me over and over again for years.

God, whatever you do, if you have a slip up, don't run home and confess your guilty conscience to your partner, basically plopping a stinking bomb in their lap to deal with. Why do people do this? If it was truly out of character and you value your committed partner, resolve to be honest with yourself and your relationship.

My statement doesn't apply to serial cheaters. That's another matter.

I so disagree R8. I'd much rather honesty than someone trying to hide it from me. We can all make mistakes, but at least owning up and apologizing means something. When you are lying and hiding things from me, I have way more of an issue with that. It is an even deeper betrayal.

From my experience, many gay men feel how I do. Where most of my straight female friends said they would rather just not know.

R9 but what if it was an honest mistake you made, or you just had a very weak moment due to stress ect and if you tell your partner he leaves you. You have never cheated before and never would again, it's not in your character to do something like this but we all make mistakes.

If you cheat, and it was a once off and you didn't engage in behaviour that could lead to an STD then keep your mouth shut. It serves no benefit to your relationship to go blabbing. It might ease your conscience but will seriously damage your relationship and your partner's trust in you.

If you are having an affair then yes, tell your partner so they can get the hell out of the relationship.

Wow! This is a tough one! I have never cheated and I have been in a relationship for 12 years. I have been with many guys before settling down but my partner is the only who I have had anal sex with. To be honest at times I really crave to know what it's like to have a real man who is hung have at me, I say real man as I don't want the experience of a dildo. But I have never cheated due to that urge and that urge gets strong many times over and over again. I'm not sure what would happen if I was in a situation where some guy came on to me who I knew was really hung and started sticking his tongue in my ear. I'm sure those chances are really low but never the less not sure what I would do,

R10 and R11 seem ridiculous to me, YOU HAVE ALREADY DAMAGED YOUR PARTNERS TRUST.

What are you doing is continuing to do that by LYING TO THEM.

"I don't want them to get upset at me, so I will just lie and then everything is cool!".

Idk, once you have to start lying and keeping secrets from your partner the relationship is already becoming a sham.

My ex cheated. He also contracted a sexually transmitted disease in his mouth and another in his ass.

R3, did you ever tell your partner about the incident? Because with friends like that…

Wasnt a real good friend, he was a friend of a good friend

I've been cheated on by every boyfriend I've had. I refuse to believe that any of them felt any remorse. They did what they wanted to get their rocks off and that was all that mattered to them. Never accept any of the lame reasons/excuses a guy gives for having cheated. Unless he was raped, he was a willing participant and should be held accountable.

I’m the average DLer. I only have anonymous sex. I haven’t had a “feeling” in decades.