I have a friendship question

I understand where you're coming from. But these days, Facebook is enough in most people's books.

Yes, let it go. Some people simply don't think of sentimental things. My best friend of 25 years hasn't called me or FB'd me, or sent a card, nothing, on my birthday, at Xmas, never. But we're still best friends, though I know I can't rely on him for that kind of emotional support. Has your BF called you in previous years? Honestly, I've forgotten to call my twin sister on our birthdays, and I love her, so it shouldn't be taken for more than it is.

Oh, happy birthday, OP!

[quote]I dont want to bring it up and sound like a drama queen but should I let it go?

He's your 'BEST FRIEND' and you're nervous to talk to him about this?

OP here- thanks [R3] and yes we always call eachother at 12:00 on eachothers bdays. Even if he's asleep then I felt like a call during the day would've been enough.

Y'all have "best friends" that don't wish you a Happy Birthday???

If your best friend can't be bothered to wish you a Happy Birthday... well, maybe you should reconsider.

You're not a child, you are 31. Talk to the person.

Also he said Happy Birthday on Facebook which is better than not saying it at all.

Maybe he was busy. Maybe he wasn't feeling well. Maybe you should remember you're an adult and adults have things going on sometimes. Think of all the people who didn't tell you anything at all. Those are the people you should be concerned about.

[quote] best friends, though I know I can't rely on him for that kind of emotional support.

So sad you had to settle for a best friend that is as the bottom of the barrell. When did you realize you couldn't do better than this and just gave up in a desperate attempt to have any friend?

[quote] Also he said Happy Birthday on Facebook which is better than not saying it at all.

Yes, be thankful for anything. When you live in the gutter, don't be surprised if people spit on you. But you should be happy for any attention right?

OP, maybe you should be concerned that he's dealing with something difficult and preoccupying now, and ask him if there was something going on that kept him from doing a traditional greeting? And if there was anything you could do for him?

As for the cranky boys: it's a truly stupid idea to evaluate an entire 25 year relationship based on what I wrote in R1, as you really know nothing of the situation. Truly stupid people attack others based on the inconsequential, with no other info on the subject. Truly stupid, stupid, stupid, and needlessly, pointlessly mean. I can't imagine you know anything about friendship, nor have any that have lasted decades.

Birthday hoopla and celebration is for children, not adults. You're 31, time to leave your childhood behind and stop expecting the world to revolve around you one day a year.

I agree with R11. I am a Lurker Frau, so obviously different perspective. But from the time I was 20, I hated birthdays! Made me feel old and unaccomplished.

I never pay attention to birthdays because people then don't pay attention to mine. Maybe your friend is just trying to shift the friendship into a more adult direction.

The world doesn't revolve around you, hon.

The last time I got upset with my best friend for not calling me on my birthday, I found out the next day that she had suddenly died.

So there's that.

You are needy gurl

You should both die horribly in a grease fire.

I'm with you OP. My best friend means well and always feels badly when he misses my birthday (he knows the month but that's about it). I know his birthday by heart. We're just different people. But I know he cares and doesn't want to lose the friendship. Suspect it's the same with you and your friend.

What are you people, five years old? Who gives a shit about your fucking birthday, princess? Grow the fuck up! I fucking hate little queens bitching about whiny bullshit in the middle of the collapse of civilization. Whaaah! I wanted a cake and card and a fabulously clever COVID themed candle light dinner for my Insta.

Birthdays are not at all a big thing for me but a best friend should have some feel for how you might might want a birthday greeting beyond a FB "like." For a best friend I would always call or, if possible, make some plan however simple to get together for a toast to the birthday friend.

Still, I would just ignore it. Keeping score too carefully rarely binds a friendship together. Maybe he had an especially shitty week, maybe he's feeling reclusive, maybe..."because the coronavirus." It's a shitty fucking year for a lot of people and while we should do more for one another when it's most needed, sometimes the effect is the opposite.

The 2015 thread bumper strikes again!

It was my cousins birthday yesterday and I sent him a text. Is that considered impersonal or was that enough? I also went in on a gift with my auntie for him.

At the age 31, you ought to have outgrown this sort of pettiness. But, given he broke the tradition already established and was content to settle for a line on Facebook, and thinks you should also be satisfied about that suggests he now regards your friendship as less important than it once was. You're obviously on the way out, so move on. If you ask him about it, he'll more than likely resent it and try to gaslight you into thinking you're just imagining it, or he'll twist things in an attempt to make you out to be the transgressor. Don't bother initiating any contact with him. If he contacts you, respond in a similar fashion, taking his lead. Accept that even long term friends disappear after they believe they have drained all they can from you.

You're over 30 and it's a non-milestone year. Way too needy.