I'm a miserable mean spirited person.

Insecurities

This is Datalounge, blame Mama or a woman at least.

You are out of touch R2. Now DL blames trans people for everything.

You need to figure out why you hate yourself so much.

A problem stated is half solved.

Boy have you come to the right place!

You're in good company, OP.

I'm in the same boat OP.

For me when my brother died I felt I hadn't done enough to help him. He was disabled and needed help getting around and I was going through a bad depression and didn't take better care of his health. I honestly believe he died because of my carelessness.

After his death I changed into a self-hating angry misanthrope.

I am the same, I hate people, I hate when strangers talk to me or even approach me to ask some information. I went to a psychiatrist and he said I had social anxiety. He prescribed some loony drugs that lessened it for a while.

It's easy to hate people, because their awfulness is so easily perceived. I guess it might help a little to read biographies of remarkable people and to try to surround yourself with more admirable people. I hate to say it, but volunteering does help, especially in places like food kitchens where you can readily see the people being helped.

People are idiots. You aren't. Well, I think you're an idiot but me myself? Not an idiot. See how that works?

People are too busy with their goddamn fucking phones, not dealing with reality, and pretending our leaders aren't psychopathic war mongers. It's easier to live in The Matrix than dealing with reality.

Hence, assholes abound.

R8 - Aw, that's sad,. Was your brother living with you? Guilt is the worst feeling ever.

Basically you've been gay for too long.

I think of all the wonderful people I have and have had in my life. The jerks and morons I don't waste a brain cell on.

R12 we shared an apartment.

I was just like you, but I've been taking a turmeric supplement (a potent anti-inflammatory) for about three months now (for an unrelated issue), and I realized about a month ago that I feel more kind and more patient with others than I have felt in a good five years. I don't know what else it could be. I haven't changed anything else- except as a result of feeling better I'm making better choices. I get Youtheory Turmeric with black pepper extract from Costco for $20 a month.

I know they're all going to laugh at me, but I thought it was worth mentioning.

I read the other day that several studies suggest inflammation is closely linked to mental illness.

I'm sorry, R8/12. I know how i t feels, guilt is like cancer, it really eats you from the inside.

My advise: resume your life, that's a nice way to honor your brother. You didn't do it on purpose, you were ill too.

Here's one very recent story about this.

Also, I think I was taking my turmeric/black pepper supplement for about six weeks before I started 'being nicer'. I can't say for sure because I wasn't taking it to become a nicer person so I wasn't watching for that particular effect.

I am going to second the chronic inflammation = depressed, bitchy and crazy idea. I was in far worse shape, mood-wise, when I was ill with an undiagnosed condition. After treatment however, I became much more calm and friendly and confident. On the other hand, my (soon to be ex) boyfriend got ill (his condition is easily treatable but he is too inert to do anything), and became totally impossible to talk to or to deal with in any way, which is why, after unsuccessfully pleading with him for months to get help, I'm leaving.

Shorter version: Tend to your physical as well as your emotional health. Good luck!

Stop being 'gay'. Ditch your gay friends, go mainstream. Worked like a charm for me. Gays love to bring their friends down.

Whaaaat? ^^^^

Op here, I seem to especially hate other gay men, they all seem like sleazy, sex obsessed children devoid of class and the most basic of morals.

There should be a popup that quotes this post before you enter the site.

Self pity is the most insidious addiction OP.

Don't get me wrong R24, I do hate myself but I hate other people more most of the time.

Oh, me too OP, me too.

I'm not mean-spirited in a way that makes me do mean things to other people, I just don't seem to be able to enjoy anyone's company anymore. I've isolated myself, and I seem to constantly criticize everyone in my head. I think part of it is depression, part of it is insecurity, and the other part is that people really are a bit obnoxious these days. (Okay, some people are QUITE obnoxious.)

And I'm straight, so this isn't a gay-social circles sort of thing like other people have suggested.

I had a friend that was in your situation OP. She was like nitro. Any bump would set her off, especially when someone mentioned political shit. it turns out she always had her television turned on to MSNBC or Fox News. Getting all that poison feed into her head and being polluted made for a very unhappy woman. Two years ago she lost her job and had to give up cable television. After a few months she began to cool off a bit and her temperament soothed down. I told her it was the constant anger from watching all that junk on the tube that caused it all. She took it to heart, and when she got a new job 8 months later she did not get cable TV back at home.

Maybe there is something in your life that you need to cut out or to add to solve your problem. People who hate to socialize are usually alone for a great part of the day. You need to get out and meet people. Whether friends or strangers, a little bit of engagement with others might help the soul and your disposition.

Riffing on what R27 wrote I found that when I cut down on my internet usage and stopped paying attention to politics I started feeling better. Something about having constant vitriol fed to you makes you turn angry.

You also lack the fourth-grade smarts to use a hyphen.

I presume this is a "class action" post for untold posters on DL.

A brief aside...Die in a grease fire r29.

R27 makes such a good point. I've developed a bad habit over the past year of following the "new" newsfeed on Reddit, and it's just bad news on top of bad news all day long. Then to make matters worse I sometimes fall into the rabbit hole of conspiracy theories. It's definitely fed into my "Life sucks, nothing even matters, we're all screwed, everyone is a lying liar" mindset. It's not good, and I'm fully aware that people who have actual lives are out there living it and not studying the internet all day being bombarded by bad crap.

I quit reading the news too - too negative. Now I have that much more time to look at online porn.

R11 sounds like the biggest asshole on this thread!

After I finally resold all the used textbooks in my life, it felt like a weight had been lifted.

My personal opinion is that bad news (stories about the ugly side of human nature) is constantly being fed to us through up-to-the-minute news and such on our devices. It used to be, you had to watch the news or get a paper to find out about the heinousness of people. Now, it's the first thing we see in online headlines.

This makes people sad. If there's an ounce of self-loathing in you, it makes you hate everybody. IMO

R8, I feel a lot of guilt about my Mom's death. I'm feel like I wasn't a good advocate for her when she was in the hospital.

Please don't let the past ruin your life, your brother wouldn't like that. Is there a counselor you could talk with? I'd pay for your therapy if I could.

Perhaps keep in mind depression, loneliness, anger, coping with illnesses, loss, financial struggles, etc., is not unique to being gay. I only say this because some speak as if there is a misidentified cause and effect involved that defined is within a narrow parameter.

OP--the fact that you know you have a tendency to be a dick says a great deal about you as a person.

You are not a sociopath, and you want to be different.

Act differently. Talk to a therapist. Call your local 211 number (here, that phone # connects you to social services) and ask for a therapist you can afford. And don't be like most of my friends, who LIE about their lives in therapy (or the other quarter who make shit up), be honest and open to change. Your heart is in the right place, but you need help to see that all people are not horrible, and that you have a place, with real human relationships, in this world.

Caroline, is that you?

Who is this Caroline of which you speak?

A less brief aside; Find a new asinine cliché, cuntfart R31.

Pissing contest. R31 and R42.

Profanity=lazy minds.

Are you my friend Julie?

OP, you will be visited by three spirits in 2 months or so, get ready ...

Yes R45.

You're suffering from a cannabis deficiency, OP.

Caroline? No.

Sesame Street had the right idea. Feed kids "good" messages all day, about the alphabet, numerals, blacks vs. whites, whites vs. immigrants, etc. And Mr Rogers too. We all were taught how to get along.

Now, we have (To paraphrase or indirectly quote Roger Waters) more than "13 channels of shit on the tv to choose from."

Little pitchers have big ears. Kids grow up believing what their parents believe in .

Out there is a big wide world. And many people are not a

I'm listening, R49. Did you know you can stream all the Mr Rogers episodes on Amazon Prime?

I watch Fred Rogers go to the mom and pop shoe store, to the sweater factory, to the film developing place, etc. I wonder what happened to all those people.

I bet the film developing people lost their jobs. At least the ones who haven't already retired or died.

R49--I live in a mountain town. We often lose internet. I was in the middle of a sentence. ' Mr Rogers was the most wonderful male I grew up with. He told us to love everyone. Even Faux News.

Let me guess OP: Forty years of alcoholism and 4 doctorless abortions?

"I'm a miserable mean spirited person."

You're a miserable mean-spirited person.

You're not a mean person who's spirited.

Fuck off and die, r54.

You will die first, illiterate cunt-licking shit-eater R55.

And your headstone will have typos!

I hate people, especially when they breathe.

You guys are really MEAN!

R53--what is a doctorless abortion? Like your aunt did it?

Right now my hatred is focused on our new Kim Davis loving cunt of a Governor!

Sounds like depression. That's one form it manifests itself in-- not everyone gets sad.

Sorry R60. Kentucky sucks, eh?

O.P., you haven't "ended up" yet.

This is like walking into a bar to state you like alcohol, you redundant bitch.

Only a Datalounger would have to be prescribed something to be kinder.

My aunt Merdis used to be that very same way...

She ate nothing but heirloom tomatoes & fun size snickers for 6 straight weeks;

POOF!!! Cuntiness was all gone!

I hate being negative, but when I read the news of the horrible things people do on a personal and up to global level, I feel completely helpless and alienated from the entire modern world. Every normal thing like taking a plane trip or going to college classes or shopping in a mall is an opportunity to get killed. Hordes of desperate, hostile invaders are arriving daily in Europe. Yet my own life is relatively serene and free of danger. I am free of health problems or financial worries, for now. What to do..?

[quote]Call your local 211 number (here, that phone # connects you to social services)

Holy shit, that is freaking brilliant. I wish my city had that!

[quote]OP, you will be visited by three spirits in 2 months or so, get ready ...

I see what you did there, you clever goose!

Forget and forgive. It's the only way to start trying not to be such a miserable cunt.

R70 FF Russian Troll - thanks for digging up a 5 yr old thread with absolutely nothing worthy to contribute.

Die in a grease fire.

R71 Speaking of miserable mean spirited persons...

The "I hate my own dick" / "2015 thread" troll strikes again.