My boyfriend is way better looking than me

Maybe you can do a lot better than him if he flakes out on you. And he probably will.

[quote]Maybe you can do a lot better than him

I seriously doubt it.

Do you make a lot more money than him?

No we're about equal in that regard R3. He's in HVAC and I'm an electrician. I make a bit more than him but only because I've been in my field longer.

That happened to me once. I had a bf who was ridiculously good-looking and had tons of charisma. Looks-wise and socially he was out of my league, but at the same time he was what I had been pursuing. The truth is we had lots and lots of chemistry but not that much in common.

It really did a number on me ("What does he see in me?") and from it I learned that when you snag a catch, you really better be ready and sure of yourself, because it will bring up all of your doubts.

We broke up shortly before Christmas, and on that day he stopped by with a gift. It was a little silver fob from Tiffany's with a key and a heart. I sat there and cried (tearing up a little now), and he looked right at me and nodded. We cared for each other but we both knew it was over.

Learned and grew from it, and never want to go there again.

You're right. He's out of your league. But not because he's better looking than you. It's because he seems to be able to appreciate and fall for people for reasons outside of their looks.

Wait, he bought you a gift from Tiffany's to say it was over? What reason did he give for ending it r5?

Let go of this self-loathing. What purpose does it serve? I'm the kind of person who'll struggle to name a single thing I like about myself, but I can come up with 10 things I hate in an instant. It's pointless. He's with you for a reason.

OP, just be grateful he's a chubby chaser.

hmmm, HVAC vs. electrician... which of you has the better butt cleavage?

Don't fall in love OP; it will be easier that way.

[R7] it was a mutual decision. We really had very little in common but the sex was amazing. There is nothing worse then being in a relationship like that, and you're both sitting their silently, scraping the outer reaches of your brain and thinking to yourself "Let's see, what can we talk about?" and nothing comes to mind.

I know that is not that unusual. The whole equation of great sex and so-so everything else vs. so-so sex and great everything else.

Same with me OP. My husbear was a head turner. So good looking it hurt. People flocked to him like white on rice. Me, average would be pushing it. We were married 38 years. We loved each other deeply.

I always told him he could do better. He'd say no, you could do much better. And he really seemed to mean it. Life is strange. I think of him daily.

R6...

The best looking guy in the world has to settle for someone uglier than him.

I'm way better looking than my bf but he's no slob. But so what? I love him to pieces and he has certain qualities that I lack. Which makes for a great pair. While I wouldn't have an ugly slob for a bf normal looks are fine. Only shallow people make looks the number one issue.

People tend to find in their partners traits they lack or are insecure about. I've a very good looking friend who is fairly smart. He's very secure in his looks and less so in his intellect so is always drawn to people with strong ability and intelligence. He's fine with average looks.

I'm the opposite. Cute only from the right angles, but intellectually, not many can match me. While I wouldn't date a stupid, I'm alright with an averagely thoughtful guy who graduates from Podunk College. I can entertain myself intellectually. Won't compromise on looks though.

He's damaged. Most good-looking people are so they settle with someone less attractive to feel good about themselves.

R18, most people are damaged, good-looking or not. The only difference is that the good-looking ones have the opportunity to leverage on their attractiveness to gain power in relationships.

also, OP: a fit-fat electrician sounds right up my alley. don't sell yourself short! (and can you fix some stuff for my mama?)

My partner is younger and very good looking. I was cute when younger but not as sexy as he is. Other attributes, I had the advantage for most of them, but not all. I sort of catered to him a long time. After repeated antics of his nonsense, I said the heck with it and don't care anymore. My only fear was the time and energy to go through such again with perhaps another. I got too settled to even want to try. What you know, he got the message, and he's the one that shows the most effort to keep it all together. My lesson, learn to not give a shit, and you end up with what was coveted so much years earlier. BTW, it's been 25 years now. He's all faithful and going nowhere else again and I am OK with that. We've become the long bonded couple, and this Scorpio (me) always tried to be independent, but have the companionship when wanted. I long adjusted. Happy? basically. Content? I would say yes.

OP, you sound like WAY more of a catch than that mister matinee-idol. If he runs off screwing some Instagram whore, come to me, I'll show some real man-loving

Self-sabotage is a terrible thing.

My husband is amazingly hot- 150lbs and 5% body fat and hung like a bull. EVERYONE is attracted to him and he can't keep gay friends because they just want to fuck him. I am soooooooooo not hot at all, never have anyone hitting on me (that I can tell, but I can't even notice when people flirt with me). He says that I am the catch and that he's the lucky one in the relationship. He stopped watching porn about a year ago and can only get off with us having sex or jerking off thinking about me (at least that's what he says, but I believe him because he's the brutally honest type). My point is, don't let your own insecurities cloud your mind. He is with you for a reason, learn to love yourself.

Look, I'm no matinee idol by a longshot. However, I can get extremely excited over guys most folks would probably reject out of hand.

As a homeless lady once told me: there's a stump from every rump.

Twenty years ago when my husband and I first got together there was no doubt that I was the catch: I was good looking and very popular - he really had to fight for me! Now it's the complete opposite: he's going to be 50 next month and looks fantastic without trying (ie. he eats what he wants, doesn't do much exercise, etc.) while I hit the wall when I turned 40 and it's only getting worse every year.

OP, please tell us more about yourself? I find lots of fit-fat guys attractive. I'm more attracted to regular average Joes. Add hairy, hung and uncut, even better.

R24 is a 5'3, 220lb woman whose husband works for Helix studios.

R29, I'm actually a 5'9" 215lb gay guy whose husband is in school.

[quote]He stopped watching porn about a year ago and can only get off with us having sex or jerking off thinking about me

That isn't real. No man would fall for that. You, madame, are a liar.

I agree with R20, R22 and R28.

Fit fat + football player build + blue collar = YES, PLEASE!

I like beefy to sort of fat guys with wide strong builds. I like the faces I like, and few are like what I see in magazines. I guess I am less affected by looks, but more by charisma and charm.

Your relationship is doomed to fail. My condolences.

I was out of the league of both my exes. They had so many good attributes and there were so many reasons I loved them. Eventually though their low self-esteem made them less and less attractive and it got to be more and more annoying.

R35 you knew you were out of their league. I could see how that would lead to someone becoming insecure. Why do you feel the need to “date down”?

Just stop it, OP.

My husband of 30 years is much better looking than me. And yet, somehow it has worked because (drumroll, please), being attractive isn't important to some people! There are many other factors that go into a relationship.