I just saw a picture of my ex who broke my heart, the love my life, th one who got away

what a rotten thing to say.

R1=the ex

R1 is carrying a Hello Kitty backpack.

And what do you look like, OP?

Like an overstuffed hairball covered with cat puke perhaps?

Sorry -- you'll have to supply pix of you and said jar pickled assholes.

Then he wasn't really the love of your life, was he? If he were the love of your lie, you wouldn't care.

He got what he deserved OP. He was cheating on you girl!

Go Shudderfrauden!!

Behind a cheap velvet curtain in his attic, OP's portrait:

I have utterly no idea what a jar of pickled assholes would look like.

Are those dill assholes or bread and butter assholes? It makes a difference.

It's surprising what time will do to a person.

The man I had my longest relationship with and who I thought was the love of my life was a priest with a dark brown, neatly trimmed beard, dark brown hair, and bedroom brown eyes, around 30 years old. A friend who met him back then said he "exuded sex." After two years he ditched me for a blond twink former altar boy.

Twenty years later I ran into a good friend of his at a gay bar, also a priest, who said, "There's somebody here I'd like you to see." He led me to my former boyfriend. If we had walked past each other on the street I would never have recognized him. The beard was gone, his hair was graying, he wore glasses, and he exuded all the sexiness of a late middle-aged realtor or insurance salesman.

OP, there's a thread calling for melodramatic responses here on DL right now and your thread title would be perfect on it.

wait, would the assholes swell when pickled, or just get really soft and puffy? you could try dropping in fireballs, like southerners do with watermelon rinds.

nbfr, I did indulge in similar schadenfreude when my (lesbian) roommate told me she ran into my ex at a local bar and described him as a "blond butterball." simple pleasures.

R10, how have you aged? Are you 45 but look 25?

R12, my grandma used to make cat's asshole pickles when I was a kid. I have always regretted that I never got the recipe. She always served them chilled in a beautiful cut-glass dish and, if we were good, she'd serve them on Tuck's pads just like the fancy hotels did back then.

It is a tragedy it ended this way. OP certainly sounds like someone who would love this guy only for who he is, even if he aged into a jar of pickled assholes.

I just read the Tom Selleck thread - someone likened him to a jar of pickled assholes. Was Tom Selleck the love of your life?

No, I posted that because Tom is just so repulsively ugly now.

r13, I helped celebrate a friend's birthday at the same bar and we were all kidding him about his age. He said to me, "well, wait until YOU turn 37!"

I was 47 at the time.

Now that I'm 60, time has definitely caught up with me, but I do look pretty good for my age. It's just genetics. My dad is pushing 90 but he could easily pass for someone 15 years younger.

Until he shows his saggy ass.

For the OP...

Hold the pickles, hold the anus, love can sometimes be extraneous...

Feels good, doesn't it, OP? Congratulations on getting or staying hot.

I guess the stars have lost their glitter for poor OP

Duke's mayonnaise and pickled assholes go great together on a sandwich.

Your post made me laugh, OP. Ignore the haters. Enjoy your triumph.

Made my morning!

Were the assholes in sweet pickle or brine? OP is being deliberately vague.

OP here, ready to dispel some doubts. Brace yourselves for my MARIEST self.

My ex was the vainest, most narcissistic creature I have ever encountered. Profoundly in love with himself and his own sense of superiority, he made sure I knew he was settling for me and that I was holding on to him by the skin of my teeth. And I believed him, hindsight I don't know why since I was the one with the modelling contract and the one who got hit on when we were out together... So yeah, seeing him looking like a jar of pickled assholes is awesome, especially as he is tagged on Facebook together with like twenty other common friends, thereby ensuring everyone will see the picture and he can't untag himself and risk looking vain.

And it's dill pickled assholes.

BWAHAHAHAH.

Pickled bump

Isn't the phrase "He is officially out of my league."? Because you are "out of his league" implies that his league is higher... as that phrase is generally understood

He may look like a jar of pickled assholes but he still knows how to push your buttons and get a response from you, eh OP?

Without even trying!

Congrats OP! That is awesome for you. I haven’t seen my ex in years, but I know he was dabbling in drugs last I heard. I hope he looks like shit.

[quote]He looks like a jar of pickled assholes. I am officially out of his league.

Don't feel bad, OP. You probably have a great personality to make up for your looks.

I’ve had some awful breakups, so I avoid looking up exes. One in particular. I never want to see his face again.

R34 what did he do?

R34, Everything.

Rather, R35.