Bottoms - do you ever have spontaneous sex?

Mary!

Yes, OP. I'm 71 and still bottoming strong. I'm a certified pro with a douche but it requires at least 15 mins for a full evacuation of the bowels, so no surprise anal!

Yes! I use new Extra-Strength Colon Blow!

OP, you just need a toilet and a shower with a detachable head.. and maybe 30 min... why 24 hours?

Well, R4, I'm totally weird about this, I know, but I can't be comfortable bottoming unless my bowels are 100% empty and I'm 99% confident my body's not in the process of producing some more waste and putting it on deck - if you will - during the time I'm getting plowed. For me, the only way to do that is to basically starve myself for 24 hours and only have some light chicken broth and liquids and, then, an hour or two before fucking I have something to eat. That stops me from being hungry during the act, but it also is too soon for another BM to be produced. And, yes, I know this is incredibly, well, anal of me. But it's what makes me comfortable.

What prompted this thread was a casual conversation with a friend who mentioned a totally spontaneous hookup in which he bottomed for another guy right away. I know we're all built differently, but 15-20 mins just isn't enough for me.

They did it all the time on Queer as Folk, and we know that was reality based.

Hot guys don't poop.

[quote] OP, you just need a toilet and a shower with a detachable head.. and maybe 30 min... why 24 hours?

There are some tops out there who have some unpleasant stories to tell about R4.

I don't bottom much. I must have strange bowels but I can't do the prep and then be clean for hours. I remember a while back at the beginning of an evening - we had sex for a while and then the doorbell rings with the take out. We ate some (I didn't eat a lot) and went back to the sex... within minutes I was no longer squeaky clean. His dick had something to do with it - not only girthy but very long - it dislodged..... ugh. It wasn't a huge mess or anything but I don't like any... sizeable... mess.

I tend to prefer oral, for obvious reasons.

I hear metamucil is good for solidifying things and making it easier and quicker to douche.

I can't vouch for it personally as I gave up anal quite a few years ago so have never tried it.

I actually find a SMALL bowl of Kellogg's All Bran Buds every morning to be amazing for flushing out the system. It certainly makes me feel like I have a more complete, more solidly packed and easier to clean up movement once-twice a day. Worked much better for me than Metamucil, Citrucel etc. Of course, eating plenty of fiber rich foods, getting rest, exercising and drinking plenty of water help too.

I agree that a steady diet of not very much fiber helps a lot.

I'm ready most of the time and, if I'm not, I'm just a shit and a shower away from being ready.

I actually bought psylium husks (sp?) but you have to take two 30 mins before each meal. I've never had to take medication or anything like that, I eat when I'm hungry etc. but others swear by those husks.

[quote] Yes, OP. I'm 71 and still bottoming strong.

Well, if the thought of that doesn't clean you out on both ends, nothing else will.

I don't bottom much, but when I do, I usually get into the shower and clean out well with my finger and a hand held shower head turned to power spray. No, it's not an enema, but I don't bottom enough to have "tools." I don't bareback and if I've not had a bowel movement earlier in the day, I won't have anal sex. I stick a finger inside myself in the shower and if it comes out clean, I feel like I'm good to go.

[quote] I stick a finger inside myself in the shower and if it comes out clean, I feel like I'm good to go.

That's fine if you're dealing with only regular or fun size...

You make a good point, R16, but the only time I've had an issue is when I haven't been able to use the shower head (i.e. on vacation and using a hotel shower). If I could, I'd pack a handheld shower attachment when I travel.

Tops do you appreciate all we have to go through!

Just this evening I tried to meet up with a guy I'd fucked a couple years ago. This time was in the daylight, but last time was night. That's how come last time I didn't notice how overdecorated the home is. That sort of preciousness is my total dick wilt. But I remembered the guy was hot so I decided to put the Santa Fe wood and wrought iron and huge floral planters and hummingbird feeders out of my mind.

The house's inside is the same. Sorta like being in a Santa Fe church - cathedral ceilings with beams, wood decorative items, clay tile floors, adobe and stucco everywhere, nooks in the walls with shit arranged inside them. Not a fucking thing out of place. Even the terra cotta dog dishes matched everything else.

But it wasn't the same guy. It must have been his boyfriend. We went into the same room though, the guest room. I took my clothes off, announced "I have to take a piss," and went to the bathroom next door. There was a huge fucking tureen with a half dozen monogrammed, tasseled, rolled and artfully arranged hand towels, and there was another one hanging, folded, over the edge of the 2nd sink. I chose between Caswell-Massey bar or Malin + Goetz liquid hand soap, and returned to the bedroom.

Got into bed, started rolling around. He was older and not as fit as his bf, but had a nice ass, which I started playing with. He was very happy for the attention, and rolled over "to present hole," as it is known on The Datalounge. I bent down for a kiss, and oh shit it was the dirtiest ass, and now it was on my face and lips. I could not only smell it, I could feel it on my face like being hit with a mudpie.

I hate freaking people out during sex, so I kept calm and friendly, and mentioned his butt was dirty. He reached behind, took a swipe, didn't even have to sniff - I could tell he freaked at the sensation of his slimy leaking buttcrack against his hand.

So he panicked and ran for his bathroom (on the other side of the house). He told me not to follow. I mighta helped him clean up if he were ok with it. I washed my face. But he took so long to clean up that I spent the extra time staring at the tasteful and expensive wall hangings and the contrasting stitching Scandanavian leather recliners in the media room, and totally lost my boner for good - for the afternoon anyway. So I got dressed and waited for him to return. I gave him a squeeze and a pat, and took off. He said he understood. But he didn't. It was really the OCD decorating that turned me off more than the shit.

if you want spontaneous sex, there is the risk of some poop. deal with it. Crissakes bunch of pussies.

I had a guy over a couple weeks ago who fucked me (I was very clean), but during playing, I jammed a finger in his ass and it came out caked in shit. I could feel it and smell it and I don't know how he didn't smell it. He kept trying to toss me around and I did not want to get his shit smeared all over my sheets, so I had to stop him. I very gently and casually explained what happened and that it wasn't a big deal but that i was going to go clean off my finger so it didn't get everywhere. I washed (actually I scrubbed my finger with alcohol, because just gross...). We finished up, he fucked me (was pretty damn good), had nothing on the condom afterwards. He hung out for a bit, so I figured all was okay, but I've not heard from him since. It's fine, he was a little... fat for my tastes and there was no way I was ever going to get anywhere near him again, but I wonder if he was just too embarrassed.

We are so glad that we only have to prepare for bottoming once a year on our husbands' birthdays!

If I consume a one pound container of cole slaw and then wait roughly an hour, I'm clean as a whistle.

Oh Jesus, R23. Not concerned about all the cabbage gas you'll get for several hours after?

I'm sorry, but this whole thread is disgusting. And you jerks have the nerve to comment about vaginas smelling like fish?

R25 And you wonder why you're not wanted on this site.

When there is no poop in a mans ass, its smells great. Empty vag still reeks of fish.

Quit it with the fish talk. A normally functioning vagina does NOT smell of fish.

[quote] I spent the extra time staring at the tasteful and expensive wall hangings and the contrasting stitching Scandanavian leather recliners in the media room,

Are you the poster who always comments on the tchotchkes in the background of Sean Cody scenes? If so, I find you hilarious.

I luv getting fucked on PrEP but gotta clean up sometimes butt all depends if the dude is really big cuz he's going deeeep in me!!!

Ask that question to the power bottom whOre Pablo Hernadnez

No spontaneous bottoming...and even as a top, if a guy wants to clean his ass hole in my bathroom - I get turned off. I don't really like random people spraying liquid shit all over the insides of my toilet bowl & god knows where else it drips when it goes from bottle to hole to toilet. Thank god for lysol wipes, lysol toilet bowl cleaner, and lysol spray...(and a burst of gamma radiation from some uranium I keep around during such occasions - seriously, I can't deal with poo... I can't eat ass or finger an ass. I'd seriously rather eat vjj).

Anyway... if you are a bottom slut like me who goes through phases where he is "in heat" (aka on vacation)... there is a drug called lomotil for traveler's diarrhea but it will make your GI tract slow down a LOT. It's similar to what happens on vicodin. It has been used for decades and is quite safe. And all your poo comes out well formed and hard and there's nothing in your hole - zero.

R32 ccol....awesome news on that ;)

lomotil is great, but it does have a small amount of opiate in it so it's not as easy to get as it once was

If I'm going to bottom, I shit in the morning and then take an immodium. Then in the afternoon I'll douche to make sure nothing's left. Then in the evening I shower and go out. My ass is clean for about 24 hrs.

R35 sounds hOt so your ASS sounds good N ready to eat then go deeeeeeeeeeeeep ;O

Yeah CVS made lomotil a "C" drug so they have a dozen rules about it... but walgreens will still fill it without the hassle. C for "controlled" or schedule 3 (or 4?)

In other words, I have a relative who is a doctor who calls things in for me that are minor but CVS won't fill "c" drugs because we have the same last name. Lomotil is such an old drug and when used properly, has no side effects. I don't take it for bottoming marathons (typically)...just maybe after too much chipotle. And, given my insurance - it's free for me vs. immodium..and more effective I think.

Naturally, the last time I took it & cleaned up everything - I ended up being a top.

I may regret asking this, but DL fraus, do you also clean out your poop shoot before sex? I'm not talking about that once-a-year backstage pass you give your man for his birthday, but before vaginal intercourse as well. Not having a vag, but trying to imagine what life would be like with that jagged gash running down my groin, I'd have to imagine that you'd also want to be empty in the back before opening for business in the front.

A clothes pin on the nose is always the fasted route.

This sucks for me as a top as I am SUPER horny in the mornings. And that just don't work.

It's all about frottage in the mornings, R40.

apparently women do this before.....

'apparently women DON'T do this before.....'

They are not supposed to clean out their vajeen. I've watched enough episodes of the view to know this.

Now, when the act is over, may I refer you to this (somewhat hilarious) old DL thread

R38, I'm sure the doctors will explain this before you transition.

R44, you dolt, the question was whether fraus wash their bungholes before vaginal sex - not because they might get plowed, but just because they might want to feel fresh in both the front and back before taking their husband's shafting.

Dear Lord in Heaven!

Do you people not have a shower in the morning after taking a dump?

Thank you DL for reaffirming why I no longer have any interest in anal sex. Top or bottom. It's just not my bag.

Give me lots of making out, frottage, and oral over an activity that requires hours of prep, starving yourself, and taking medication that fucks with your natural metabolism, and then STILL leaves the possibility of a poopy, slimy, stinky experience.

Gay men's obsession with it is tedious.

And don't even get me started on my opinion that pleasure for the bottom is more mental than physical. The physical sensation is mainly just unpleasant, but most bottoms I know have admitted it's more about the feeling of being used and dominated.

No thanks.

R44 I shall forever be grateful to you for linking that old thread. I don't think I have ever laughed more reading the men's comments! It is now officially second only to the Ruth's Chris/bread pudding thread in my personal DL time capsule.

R49, stop being so hysterical. Okay, anal isn't for you. That's fine. I'm sure you'll find a surprisingly large number of gay men who share your opinion or , at least, only rarely participate. That's fine. We're all built differently and not everyone will enjoy taking D. But this whole "this is my experience, therefore it MUST be everyone else's" nonsense is just silly. I'm vers and top a lot more than I bottom, but when I bottom it is as much about the physical sensation as it is about anything else.

sometimes, yes.

I think keeping a perspective of "don't sweat the small shit" when young allowed me to enjoy occasional hookups without being neurotic about a guy's ass when I topped, or my own ass when I bottomed. Once in a blue moon, unpleasant things might happen for a moment, but a washcloth with hot water, and a sense of humor can go a long way. For me, it's like the very rare times when someone has nicked my cock head with a snaggle tooth: when I remember that I'm sliding my most sensitive parts into a canal lined with teeth, it's a risk I can live with.

Another thing that has helped me has been the aging process, not because of any biological changes in the waste elimination process, but because my old bull mentality* chooses not to have those spontaneous hookups any more. A nice fuck buddy that I can call on a Saturday morning and meet up with later that afternoon gives me time to prep myself if I think I might be bottoming.

So spontaneity and preparedness are countervailing forces: whichever one is more important to you at any moment will happen at a potential cost of the other, and either choice for anyone at any age is just fine. If you can deal with that truth without any anxiety, then go embrace sex and make it fun and satisfying and put the anxieties behind you!

*the old joke..."Young Bull to Old Bull: "let's run up that hill and fuck a cow!" Old Bull's reply to Young Bull: "No, let's [italic]walk[/italic] up that hill and fuck them [italic]all[/italic]."

Jonathan Groff's character on LOOKING used a feminine scented douche. So I thought, Why not? HOLY CRAP THAT BURNED!?? Is this a thing? Or am I fool for copying tv?

There is a fuck scene in the mainstream film Keep the Lights On by Ira Sachs that features a poop mess during anal sex.

Reading this thread reminds me how gross sex really is. Gay or straight it's a disgusting activity that seems like more work than it's worth.

People here obviously don't understand basic fisiology. When you have sex or even masturbate it's impossible for you to shit or even urinate because the body shuts down digestive proccess so that procreation could be more probable.

R57 seems to think that a man's colon self-cleans so that the cock aimed at it can get it pregnant.

So much for people here obviously not understanding basic fisiology. Or the point of this thread, for that matter.

She probably doesn't even believe in self-lubrication of the manpussy by special gay glands. Tsk.

Proof that anal sex is not natural otherwise god will not hvae placed poop there!

I don't remember that, r54. I do remember Patrick saying his butt was like a "self-cleaning oven".

R59 then how come prostate stimulation results in sexual pleasure?

No they don't R38. Do you not know any women?

[quote]fisiology

Oh, dear.

R31 I'd like to try his hole, I am sure it smells clean.

OMG R44 !!! Thank you , that was the best thread ever ! Couldn't stop laughing for days !

R25 is right, as are others on this thread. As enjoyable as anal can be — regardless of gender — it takes prep and can be a mess.

Why does sex have to be so spontaneous? Everyone "prepares" for dates and the possibility of sex in various ways, and when we do it's more enjoyable for everyone involved. It's like saying you can't be 'spontaneous' if you like to shower, brush your teeth, wear make up, dress nicely, etc. Prepping for butt sex is just one extra step in a normal grooming routine. If you really craved it you wouldn't say, "oh, who wants to be bothered with all that". It would be like someone saying, "I don't kiss because I don't want to have to brush my teeth." What???

Anyway, I'm talking out of my (probably not very clean) ass because I've never done anal sex and likely never will.

[quote] Why does sex have to be so spontaneous?

Mary only wears her marigolds for hand jobs.

Sometimes spontaneity is easier because you're a bit more relaxed. If I think about it, even though I want my boyfriend to blow his load inside of me, I clench up tighter than a lesbian nun in a Marine shower. I sometimes wish I was a big, ol' sloppy bottom, but alas I'm not.

God bless R67. And God fuck all the sex-aversive, plastic-body fools here. A person with a halfway decent diet and a regularized body knows when two minutes of prep is enough, which is close enough to spontaneity for most people. It's called "let me slip into something a little more comfortable."

And if you're in a truckstop, the woods or on a darkened pier, (1) you are not being spontaneous and could have prepped anyway, and (2) you and your partner(s) likely aren't the types to be nervous about a little mess. Because you like it a bit nasty, doncha, sailor? Doncha?

You see lots of seemingly spontaneous sex on Tumblr. Guys fucking in parking garages, empty movie theaters, understalls (ick, but still)...no shit in sight and likely no prep involved. I don't know how they do it. I'm too paranoid to even attempt it without a thorough cleaning, but that also means I don't ever just "hookup" after a night out or with a hottie I just passed on the street. Which is obviously less fun, but maybe for the best?

Hilarious, OP. You're even more uptight than I am. Here's what I do, and it works 99% of the time (completely clean hole).

1. Your diet should be rich in fiber. At least one meal a day should include a salad, lentils, broccoli, brussels sprouts, etc. If you can't do that, add a bowl of fiber-rich cereal to your breakfast, daily. Fiber supplements like Metamucil work very well too. This will ensure that you're very regular and there will be nary anything to wipe.

2. It's good to know in advance. If not the day before, at least 12 hours. This way you can ensure you're eating right and there will be no surprises.

3. Day of, assuming your encounter will be in the evening, eat breakfast and a light lunch but nothing else for six hours before you get fucked.

4. One hour before your date, shower thoroughly and, if necessary, use a shower enema attachment. This will likely not even be necessary if you follow the steps above, but it's good to have one of these on hand in case you're off a bit. You can store the thing in the closet and only hook it up when you need it. You should already have a handspray attachment. Everyone should. That itself is a big help, but get the enema too.

this thread is Priss Pott Central!

R70, don't believe everything you see in porn.

IMO it feels better if you use water to clean out even if it is already clean... not sure why. Maybe the water stretches it a little or something. The first few times I got fucked , I didn't even know about douching. It was fine...basically but they didnt pound away like a jackhammer and were normal sized. Big dicks are kind of a problem if not fully cleaned / prepared. Aggressive tops are not really for me, in general, though.

Well, like the Boy Scouts say, "Be Prepared." And why even bother going out unless you've taken care of things in advance? But really, how hard is it to carry around a Fleet enema and a couple of Dude Wipes in your messenger bag?

I use a pumpkin scented douche that I made from the wings of butterflies in my garage. I gently massage my hole after I place my 40 lb herb-buttered turkey in the over.

R40 best sex is in the mornings when you wake up with a hard-on ready to enter a hot hole & fuck...right!?

r 77 tell my partner that!

I shit before I shower, the end. why do you queens always make things so complicated?

Marys! You really do all that. I have never planned on being the bottom in that way. I just have had boyfriends surprise anal on me often and there is no big deal.

Again, never plan on having anal sex, but it happens a lot. Don't know woman that has ever douched before or planned it. Because straights know if they ask women to do that...it is not happening.

Husband: Honey would you douche your ass for me? Wife: What the fuck for. Husband: Just thought we would have anal tonight. Wife: I have a headache.

Just sayin... you making to much out of it. Slap on a condom and call it a day.

for once I agree with a woman

The whole “anal thing “ has always had me feeling like my fellow gay men are these alien pod people (should that be senna pod people?) I just can’t relate, never having had an urge to penetrate a man back there or have him penetrate me. Additionally, and not inconsequentially, yes, I AM squeamish about bootchie cooties and worse -- and for good fucking reason. I wont pretend that I don’t wish it was not part of our culture..but Voltaire-like I will defend your right..yada yada

I love how there are people posting their personal experiences on this thread and just assuming that those experiences are universal. Everyone's built differently, people.

Enemas are always a good idea

Sex is dirty only if it's done right.....Woody Allen

Why would a bottom care if the top ends up with a shitty dick?

Ummm, perhaps if he was expecting a second date?

Yes, I do. But not if I can feel there's crap in my rectum.

rectum is such an unpleasant word

I copied Groff's character from LOOKING and used a douche to prep. OUCH OUCH OUCH That burned!

Because sometimes they stick a shity dick in your mouth.

Do you want cholera? Well do YOU?

bump for R20

I just consider them 50 First Spontaneous dates.

I'm what you guys call a fiber queen. I never have any worries and can bend over and take it any time. I'm always clean.

From my insatiable bottom bf's doctor, here in San Francisco (which means this man has DATA!):

1. No hoses, no OTC enemas from the drug store EVER 2. Daily Metameucil and Immodium AD pills 3. Clean with a the rubber bulb doucher. Flush, evcacuate, repeat until evacuation is clear. 4. From time to time, step 3 won't work, so you're SOL. But if you do step 2, being SOL will be rare.

I have never had an accident with the bf. And I even nail him after dinner!

If I know at least 24 hours in advance that I am going to bottom, I open up and eat a hearty serving of corn. I basically fast until a few hours before the date. If I poop and see corn then I know I'm clear the rest of the way. Confidence while getting plowed makes for fantastic sex. No lead in the pencil for my tops.

The one lesson I've taken away from this thread is that LOOKING is the worst thing to have ever happened to American bottoms.

of course but you are asking dudes on DL? WTF aren't most over 60 or near death? LOL

r95 - your bf's doctor recommends taking imodium every single day?

The day before fucking – which in San Francisco could very well be every day.

R100 - are you R95, because he said "daily Metamucil and Immodium AD pills".

Daily citrucel

[quote]I'm vers top. Top probably 80% of the time.

At least I *admit* I'm a bottom. I don't live a lie...