My friend is dating a commitment commitment phobe and likely cheater-advise bitches
One of my closest friend has been 'going out' with a guy he met online for a most of this year. My friend has been single for a long time and has been desperate (though he denies it) to be in a relationship for a long time. At first this guy seemed like he might be a good match but over the last few months the signs have pointed to this guy having commitment issues. When they first met they would go out a couple times a week, then maybe twice a week, then once a week, then once every other week, then a couple times a month for and always on weekday evenings or sometimes a weekend afternoon. After about a number of months after they started dating, my friend made a move to make their dating a mutually exclusive thing, since that's the indication he was getting from this guy, and the guy said it was way too early. OK fair enough but then after this the guy stopped asking my friend out as frequently, would occasionally cancel last minute because of 'sudden emergencies, he would never return calls, and only send text messages. When I told my friend that this was major red flags and that this was on a one way track to nowhere he was going to end it but after a few days the guy texted him out of it and promised to work things out. My friend admitted that when they do go out this guy pays for everything, or buys him nice things clothes, or gives him things for his apartment. My friend is acting like this is a serious relationship. I did some digging and found that this guy has profiles on okcupid, gay.com, scruff, grindr, dudesnude, looking for dates and hookups. So while my friend is acting like this is a serious relationship, this dude is having a great time.
My friend wants to meet someone but is acting like this guy is now the end all say all and is no longer looking. Every time I confront my friend about this it ends in a huge fight. Other friends have just told me to stay out of it and let him just ride it out until he gets dumped. I have been tempted to show my friend this guy's profiles, but I know it will just end in a huge fight. What do you fags think I should do, just stay out of it?
| by Anonymous | reply 20 | August 27, 2020 6:20 PM
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I know you want to help your friend, but Just stay out of it. If you continue to intrude, when his crash and burn happens, it will be *your* fault. So it will end in tears, and damage your friendship.
| by Anonymous | reply 1 | October 20, 2015 8:14 PM
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If your friend wants to be in a serious committed LTR, then baby this isn't the gay for him. From what you describe this guy isn't interested in anything beyond casual dating and/or sex. Telling friends they're dating a looser is hard to do. My best advise would be tell your friend that you just don't approve and perhaps try and suggest he go online to check and see if this guy has profiles on seedy sites.
| by Anonymous | reply 2 | October 20, 2015 8:15 PM
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Tots agree with R1. I once told a friend that his boyfriend was fucking around on him and I was accused of being a jealous queen and intentionally trying to sabotage his relationship. Of course six months later when he figured out I was telling the truth he came crying to me but our friendship had been strained beyond repair.
| by Anonymous | reply 3 | October 20, 2015 8:17 PM
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Your friend is a sad self loathing gay man let him get aids and die.
| by Anonymous | reply 5 | October 20, 2015 8:22 PM
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You've said your piece, it didn't achieve anything, now shut up about it. If people want to be stupid they're generally quite good at it.
| by Anonymous | reply 6 | October 20, 2015 8:25 PM
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I am with R6. Its fine to say your peace one time. Then your role is to support your friend.
| by Anonymous | reply 7 | October 20, 2015 8:28 PM
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Agree with R6 & R7 you said your bit and that's all you can do. If you keep after your friend it'll end up costing your friendship.
It sounds like the time they spend together is fading so eventually one or both will loose interest.
| by Anonymous | reply 8 | October 21, 2015 2:24 PM
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I wish I could find a commitment-phobic boyfriend who buys me stuff, and doesn't put too many demands on my time!
It's a pity the OP's pal can't appreciate the relationship for what it is, and has convinced himself a bit of fine casual fun is true love or something.
| by Anonymous | reply 9 | October 21, 2015 7:23 PM
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Why can’t these commitment-phobe guys just date each other? Why are they like vampires who suck the life force out of non-commitment-phobes?
| by Anonymous | reply 11 | August 27, 2020 3:08 PM
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For your own mental health, stay out of it. I made the mistake of doing this for a straight friend back in the late eighties. We were both in the military at the time. His girlfriend was a whiny shrew and he had gotten tired of her threats to tells his wife about them. I said that the best thing to do was to cut off all ties with her before she ruined them both. Well, he took her back and guess who stopped speaking to me at her suggestion? She also complained to my supervisors that I’d watch them fuck in the barracks. Totally untrue. My friend knew what she said but was so whipped by her and his wife that he failed to come to my defense. I simply stopped speaking to them both. Don’t know what happened to either of them after I transferred. But it was a lesson learned. So now when friends complain about their relationships to me, I just nod and shake my head and say something like, “I’m sure that you two will work it out”. Or “I don’t wanna know it’s not my business”. Best thing for you. Trust me.
| by Anonymous | reply 12 | August 27, 2020 3:17 PM
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Stay out of it.
If your friend continues to press for commitment and a serious relationship, the other guy will either say yes or at some point of postponing saying the word "no" will announce "no" loudly and clearly insome other way. There's also the possibility that your friend is pushing aware that "no" may well be the answer that he gets. He wouldn't be the first one to press for answers and demonstrations of commitment in direct proportion to the partner's evasiveness. He's going to find out on his own. If extravagant life insurance policies and signing over property and assets are not part of the picture, you really have no reason to interfere.
| by Anonymous | reply 13 | August 27, 2020 3:38 PM
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Why are you bumping a thread from five years ago, R11?
| by Anonymous | reply 14 | August 27, 2020 4:16 PM
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R14 - it's what he does. The only excuse I can think of is that he wants to visit 2015 before all the shit went down with Trump. That's the only nice answer I have for his fixation on 2015 threads. No other years - just 2015.
| by Anonymous | reply 15 | August 27, 2020 4:32 PM
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[quote]What do you fags think I should do
You could start by not calling me a fag.
| by Anonymous | reply 16 | August 27, 2020 4:38 PM
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Everyone mentioned in this thread has been murdered
| by Anonymous | reply 17 | August 27, 2020 5:13 PM
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[quote]My friend is dating a commitment commitment phobe and likely cheater-advise bitches
Here's some advice.
Learn how people use phrases like "bitches" or people will know for certain you're a troll.
You sound like some 65 year old straight white tv writer from the early 1980s writing lines for the lead's sassy gay black best friend.
| by Anonymous | reply 18 | August 27, 2020 5:20 PM
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Actually, I’d like to hear an update. Hey, OP! You should give us an update on what happened with your friend and his fuckbud. Are they still doing their thing? Are you two still friends? Did you shut up and walk away from the whole thing? Tell us!!
| by Anonymous | reply 20 | August 27, 2020 6:20 PM
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