Loaning Money to Friends.

I should add that my ultra cheep and devious friend gets a 6-figure inheritance when I die, as does my $300-loaned friend, and one other. My family gets more. But why wait until I'm dead? I do wish I could be here. It'll be like Christmas. Much better than when my Mum died, as she mysteriously had just changed her will 30-days previously. My cunty sister was trying to steal the whole thing, but didn't ha e enough time to work on the old gal.

Never loan. Give.

If someone asks for a loan they are in great need. Having circumstances that do not allow a payback can ruin a friendship. Give the money instead.

If you can't afford to give, you can't afford to loan.

If you're leaving someone $100,000, why do you care about $16,000?

You sound charming, OP. Not.

What r2 said.

I would never lend more to someone with whom I have a personal relationship than the amount I would be willing to give them free and clear.

And then I consider it a gift, but a bonus if any of it comes back.

Tedious humblebrag.

OP is a Stealth Cass Warfare Troll, looking to rile up the Poverty Trolls.

you all are far to rich for my blood

i've loaned MAYBE fifty dollars to a friend, maybe more, not much. I just don't have that much money

Uh, yeah, of course there is "a maximum amount." I'm not a charity nor am I wealthy. I also wouldn't give it "no questions asked" -- there would be questions, especially for a large amount. I'm not enabling anyone's addictions or giving them play money. There has to be a genuine need and a "last resort" situation.

You "lent" someone $16,000? You don't sound too bright, OP.

I've loaned money to a handful of friends throughout the years. Some paid back, others simply didn't bother.

A few things I've learned:

If the amount you'd like to loan will make a difference in your own financial situation if not paid back, don't loan. I think the reason a lot of people don't pay their friends back is when they feel the loaner has plenty and won't really miss it. Obviously, that's not a real friend anyway.

If you'd like to help/loan money to a friend for a bill or something they need like a dentist appointment, a month's rent, a utility bill, something tangible, offer to pay the exact amount needed directly to the party that is supposed to receive the money. If the friend refuses and just wants the money, no loan.

If a friend is in the habit of borrowing money from other people too, I'd say, no loan.

If someone is in a tough spot but you don't want to loan money, buy some groceries or some other act that will help them loosen up some money for other things they need.

I once loaned a co-worker money for an airline ticket when a close relative suddenly died out of state. She didn't have a car. She promptly paid back every cent in one payment. I've picked up food items from a farmer's market for a friend that was fretting over the possibility of losing her job soon. I dropped the goodies off as a treat.

Once, before I wised up, I was royally ripped off. It was a good lesson for me.

Use good judgment and be creative in helping people out if possible.

I like and trust my friends. I wouldn't have a friend that was not trustworthy to pay back a loan.

If you want to hang out with mooches, go ahead, I'm sure Obama and his free medical care and food stamps are right up your alley.

R3, I care because I am not dead yet. I care because I worked hard for it. And I care because I expect my friends to keep their words. I have no friends who don't understand this.

My friend owns real estate. The money was for a shortfall. I did get it back, or did you miss that?

R2 has tried and true words.

I'm with R2. If they pay you back great. If they don't you will not carry the resentment. The OP sounds kind of silly really- about 14K you have to pay gift tax. Acoupke you can therefore give 28K, which is what I did recently and I owe no tax. You can make a loan for more if you document it and of course they pay you back- otherwise you will be stuck with paying the tax if the IRS goes after you.

Above, not about

Oh, R14, that didn't occur to me. But I did have a note, in which case, it would just be a bad debt, if it went bad.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Loan the money. Give it away. Leave it unattended in the park next to your fleshlight. Just free up that clogged money you're holding and all will be well. You'll feel better. You will!

OP What kind of person gives a friend a loan with interest? That's bullshit, and you're an asshole. You're not a bank.

R10, I didn't realize that Obama was giving away free healthcare and that he invented food stamps

I had a friend who came into a windfall and insisted on doing something nice for me, so lent me the money to buy a car. I insisted on paying interest. Our written agreement was that I'd pay him back in one lump sum in five years. I was saving up when about a year and a half into the loan my mother got terminally ill, and the friend disappeared. He didn't even send a thank you note for the wedding gift I'd sent.

I was still saving up, of course, when out of the blue he called, said he knew my mother was "finally" dead and I surely got an inheritance, so he wanted his money that day by wire, because he'd just given $15,000 to his son. He'd lent me $8,000, not $15K, but apparently wanted $15K. He'd also been sniffing around our mutual friends for months, just waiting for my mom to die. I got no inheritance but had $10K left over after the sale of her home -- she'd just mortgaged it for major renovations so there was almost no equity -- and sent it to him.

And will never engage in a lending situation with a "friend" ever again. Ever.

What a friend, r20.

In 2008 I lent a friend $10,000 so he could avoid having his house repossessed. He said he had money coming in and could repay me in a couple of months. He eventually paid me back $9k, then just cut me off entirely. As far as I know I didn't do anything to him; the last dinner we had together was pleasant. Then, just nothing. So, out 1 friend and $1,000. I don't even know if he was eventually able to keep his house.

[quote]If you can't afford to give, you can't afford to loan.

That's probably true for smaller amounts r2 but not necessarily true for large amounts.

I recently lent a friend $25,000. I need the money too but his need was more immediate than mine and we're close enough friends that I knew his circumstances and trusted him to do as promised. He did. I've been paid back in full without ever having to ask once and it's a nice bonus knowing that he'll always be there for me if I get into a jam just like I was there for him.

There are very few people in the world I would trust that much though. For the most part I would shy away from anyone who's always asking for just a little more help to tide them over and always with the words "I'll pay you back." Those are the ones who never will.

There's no maximum amount limit I'd lend, OP. I guess it's more about if I have it, can spare it at least for a while and what I think the money would accomplish. In this case it got my trusted friend back on his feet and strengthened our friendship so it's all good.

$150, and it's only a gift.

How do you determine "your next worth?"

I only have rich friends. I jettison the poor ones out of my life without remorse or care.

Assume you won't get it back - that amount, whatever it is.

Lending money to friends often ends in tears.. don't do it unless you write it up properly and legally.

I've loaned 10 or so friends money in my past. Maybe half paid me back. Be prepared to end friendships to those not paying you back because it will always be there. In my experience the friends really in need { the poorest friends} paid me back. Others went along as if nothing happened.

Never loan. Just give.

One of my best friends called me in a panic. They were foreclosing on her house, she needed 800 dollars.

I had just received my income tax return and decided to help her out. Her words,"I will pay you back as soon as I get a good job."

Many years later, no payback, no money, even though she has a good situation with money provided by her husband and his parents. Meanwhile, I could use the money. Any discussion of returning the $$ is met with, "well, you know I'd give it to you if I had it."

Sign papers if you loan more than 500 clams. Otherwise, it's never coming back.

You loan the person money and then have you write them out a check or checks made out to you. These will be deposited later and can be post dated if you like.

When the person pays you, you tear up the check. If he doesn't pay, deposit the check, let it bounce and that is a CRIMINAL offense not civil, to write bum checks.

Interesting, R30, thank you.

Never. I will give a close friend money, may a couple hundred bucks, but they can keep it.

Yes, if you're willing to give someone money, kiss it goodbye. Friends never repay "loans."

But if you want to get all Judge Judy, have them sign something. I wish I had done this with my friend. 800.00 was a huge amount for me back then, she swore up and down she'd pay me back, and now?

crickets chirping.

It's "lending," not "loaning." Is no one teaching the English language any longer?

If I 'loaned' anyone money, I never ask them to pay it back. I never bring it up again. It is like the elephant in the room. You know I 'loaned' it to you, I know I 'loaned' it to you ........... why bother making it a big deal.

I had two nephews with car troubles at the same time. I gifted them each $ 500 and 'loaned' them each $ 500. One paid me back, the other didn't.

Oh well ........... I don't 'loan' anyone more than I can afford to 'lose' ......... and if you agreed to pay me back and then don't, you can expect my answer to be 'No' if you have the nerve to ask again.

I have made loans for various amounts over the years, some have repaid, some haven't. I only loan what I can afford to lose. While I am not by any means rich, I do have more than I need. So when an ex and still good friend was in need I gave him $12,000. He really didn't want to accept it and never asked for it but he did need it and accepted. Later he needed $6000 but insisted that it be a loan, doesn't matter to me if he pays it back or not. He will inherit everything I have when I die, so it feels good to be able to help him out while I am still alive.

I agree - don't loan, give. And only to people you are unlikely to hold a grudge against if you fight with them.

The question more appropriately is why Gove one hundred grands to a friend? That is seriously odd. When I die, my money is either going to kids or some foundation.

Also, I never give friends money that is in the hundreds. Perhaps I will ask them out for dinner etc but it won't go into the hundreds. I don't think it's appropriate for someone to ask their friends for money. Friendship should not involve that.

[quote] I'd always get it in writing, specify a minute interest rate for its expected duration, and then increases the rate to something usurious after the date the sum is due to be returned; and stipulate that the borrower pays all collection costs.

If you're that weird about it, OP, just don't do it.

I've given friends and family money quite a bit. As other posters have said, if it comes back - great - if not, no harm done.

R40, you're being judgmental.

Getting a note makes it clear that it's a business arrangement. It helps keep things clear so as to keep the friendship from being destroyed over a misunderstanding about the loan. If you want to give money, do so; but if you make a loan, get it in writing.

[quote] [R40], you're being judgmental.

Of course I am, that's the point of the thread (and of most threads here). So what?

[quote] Getting a note makes it clear that it's a business arrangement.

I know what a note is, I still think the OP is a freak. If you are the OP then I think you are a freak.

[quote] If you want to give money, do so;

I made it quite clear that this is exactly what I do.

If you need paperwork and interest on a small loan to a friend just don't do it. I can't imagine presenting a note with interest and penalties to a good friend. He certainly wouldn't be my friend for long.

On one hand, if a real friend needed money and I had it, I'd just give it-not loan it. One the other, if a friend gave me money, I'd feel obligated to pay it back unless the friend outright refused to accept it back.

I borrowed money from a friend-$3600.00. I am paying him 325.00 a month for one year. In the end, he will make 300.00-better than if he invested it in a CD. I consider this type of arrangement micro-lending. I just have 3 months left on the loan.

What is up with all the people on this thread lending money?

Not what friendships are for.

R44 A real friend doesn't give a loan with interest. That's bullshit.

r46

Must be Muslim, they don't believe in interest either

No, of course you never charge a friend interest, r46. Who would do such a low-rent, money-grubbing thing to a friend?

R45, look at the thread title. It may give you a clue as to why people who loan money to friends are posting in it.

R42, being a judgmental ass really isn't the "point" of any thread. I can't imagine you have any friends to loan "small amounts" of money to, with your toxic attitude.

R44 here, the poster who offered interest to a friend. My loan was for 3600.00 and my friend will make 300.00. Here is the back story- I INSISTED on paying interest to my friend! We both win: I get a loan and he gets a better interest rate than a CD. We get together for breakfast once a month to catch up. I give him my payment and he insists on paying for breakfast. I appreciate my friend for helping me out in a jam.

If you have ten thousand dollars to lend, don't say you aren't rich. That's bullshit.

You never, ever, loan an amount of money that you can't do without. You pretend you'll never get that money back, and loan an according amount that won't have a negative impact on your life in case you never get it back.

R44/R50 --- you have a very nice friend, much more valuable than his generous loan.

He also has a good friend in you who not only paid him back as agreed, but insisted on providing him interest.

Agree with others already posting ........... say NO if you feel you can't afford it or will resent not getting it back as promised (at least half the time, that is what will happen .........won't be paid back at all, payments will be late, you'll have to ask for payment).

Only a really really good friend, and only if I didn't expect the money back.

I would say, see you in some of my court, but...

I did loan money to a friend, so that he could put a deposit and first month's rent on an apartment. (He had been unhappy in a bad roommate situation and needed to move out.) He did pay me back, later than he said he would. When he did pay me back, he acted like I should have given him a trophy.

Now, I would not lend money to a friend. If anything, I'd give someone an amount of money that I could afford.

Sometimes friends ask for "loans" so I don't make a stink about the vocabulary. I know sometimes I'll never see the money again. I go along with their need to say "loan". I wouldn't give it if I couldn't spare it. The last was to a shopboy friend to fly to visit his sick mother. He doesn't have any money really. I know it was true, he flew, and the mom was sick. 9 months later the mom died and my shop boy went home again, this time for the funeral, and never came back to my city. Gawd, he had a HOT dick.

Man OP I sure hope you come down with full blown AIDS.

R54 Fuck you, bump bitch.

R50: I wouldn't walk across the street to make slightly better interest than on a CD. And risk my capital for it?

I hate lopsided favors and crazy bartering: You come over and go me chop down a grove of trees...and I'll bake you a cherry pie!

If I wanted trees chopped I'd pay someone to do it properly. If I wanted a goddamn cherry pie I'd make or buy my own.

I'll give things easily, but I hate bartering with friends.

I lent a long term friend $50,000 when they were in the middle of selling their home and closing on a new home......I was paid back within days of their closing on the home they sold. We have been friends for 20 years and I knew I would be paid back. The thing that ticked me off - a few years after I made the loan was that I found out they had asked their wealthy and close uncle about loaning them the funds and he said no. This guy is loaded and knew his nephew was responsible.

A friend and I used to lend each other money when we were fresh out of college. We always knew we would pay each other back. I haven't lent money since then, but I've given it away. The people I've given it to never asked for it, I just knew they needed it.