My plumber is coming over today

You don't get out much, do you?

He and his assistant laugh at you after they leave. Then they fuck in the back of the truck.

[quote]Ahhh I ate three donuts and four sausage patties just to mellow myself out.

Gurl, do you want to get fucked or not?

3 donuts and 4 sausage patties? How fat are you? Do you plan to lift your muumuu and say "yum?"

OP, you should stage a toilet clog using one of your old dildos. Your plumber will yank it out, scratch his head, then turn to you seductively while grabbing his crotch and say, "I think I know why you REALLY called me. I've got just the thing to undrain your pipes.,.,."

It's true! I saw it in a Falcon video!

[quote]3 donuts and 4 sausage patties?

Is he checking out your plumbing or the kitchen sink?

Him having an assistant there ruins any chance of you giving him a quick suck. Many straight guys are happy to receive such a service. It is best not to try and hide the fact that you are gay when a straight workman enters your premises alone. Be open and available.....

A friend of mine had a workman come round, sent by his landlord. My friend is very camp and had a row gay DVDs lined up on the shelf next to where the plumber was fixing his gas fire. To his surprise the workman commented " you've got some interesting DVDs". One thing led to another and he ended up fucking my friend on his sofa.

When I was about 16 I was at home and all my family were out. I had to deal with and supposedly help with the delivery of a new TV ( when they were the first huge, heavy widescreen ones ) however, the extremely buff bodybuilder delivery man, about 26 carried it in on his own. I commented on how strong he was, which seemed to please him greatly and he began to engage me in conversation about about me being a student and where my family were and when they would be back. Sexual tension was in the air. I'd love to tell you that we had an afternoon of sex in my single bed, me fucking him ( in dreams and wanks over the years I have ) Sadly though I was a shy boy, a virgin and nervous around older straight guys and nothing happened. But looking back and with the experience and knowledge I have now of similar situations, the offer was definitely there. So many regrets about not taking up offers of sex around that time and in the few years after due to shyness.

Tell the plumber that Helen Mirren's pleasure pillows are no longer on the market but yours are ripe for the taking. Then turn around, raise that caftan, and bend over. Report back here with the results.

I don't believe these elaborate scenarios for a minute - that straight tradesmen drop trou when visiting faygalas' campy abodes.

Silly r7 - having an assistant means OP can double his pleasure. Get it, OP!

Muuuuuu muuuuu mooooo!

Don't change the silk kimono, OP! They LOVE slightly ajar silk kimonos!

R9 Yeah but that's just camaraderie and boy's time! Straight bro, no homo time. That doesn't count.

Just make sure you slip into something more "com-fah-tah-buwl".

He just called, he's on his way.

Are you sufficiently ready, OP?!

Just do it OP.

OP, you don't happen to be the guy from London doing 'dare' cam shows at Cam4? This guy hires workers to fix his apartment and then does dares like suddenly get naked in front of them while on cam.

Haven't been on Cam4 in ages. Does that tall blond British military guy still come on nearly every morning and sit in the same chair while jerking off his huge cock?

Hmm R19, do you remember his name? There are few regular Brits there but I can't picture your guy right this moment.

His town is incorporated within his screen name, but I can't recall it. He's very good looking, along the lines of Ryan Gosling.

Having an Assistant with him is not a deal breaker, trust me. I've had at least three different encounters with Delivery/Maintenance men and their Assistants. I know others who have as well. I have a friend who always manages to leave straight porn playing in one of the bedrooms, just loud enough for the workers to hear, but not loud enough that it's obvious what he's up to.

It never fails, the workers always end up in the room and stand their watching it and my friend will pop in, sometimes act embarrassed, make small chat, and it always ends with him on his knees.

The delusional dl quuens fantasizing again

Don't be a killjoy, r23! Support OP in making this happen!

[quote]Having an Assistant with him is not a deal breaker, trust me. I've had at least three different encounters with Delivery/Maintenance men and their Assistants. I know others who have as well. I have a friend who always manages to leave straight porn playing in one of the bedrooms, just loud enough for the workers to hear, but not loud enough that it's obvious what he's up to. It never fails, the workers always end up in the room and stand their watching it and my friend will pop in, sometimes act embarrassed, make small chat, and it always ends with him on his knees.

Lol, the sad thing is there are some lonely shut ins here who will read this and actually believe these things happen outside of gay porn.

Make sure to do the Bend and Snap!

Take a picture of his Plumber's Crack and post it for us to see

This thread is making me horny. The super in my building is a Polish guy in his forties. Shaves his head, short clipped white beard.. When he works outside he wears low slung shorts with a tool belt, tight short sleeved tees, work boots. Muscular legs. Ruggedly handsome hot to death daddy. He is very friendly. When I ask him about fixing something in my apartment he asks "You want I come? Fix you?" If only he would.

Some of you are obviously not very attractive.

He's here and no assistant.

Are dicks out already? More realistically: does he show any bulge?

He slapped me in the face and call me a slut. How dare him call me a slut when i was no where near being that. Excuse you, I say, i dont associate with whores like you he then leave. I feel dirty and insulted, who the hell he think he is to reject me fuck

Yeah it happened just like that R32 and then I started speaking in broken English as well.

It's near lunch, start making a sandwich for lunch and ask him if he wants one too. They always want a sandwich!

He will come back, r32/OP. Sounds like a prelude to some rough dirty sex. Report back to us when you can sit again!

Ask him if you can get him anything, and then use that old line . . . "I could offer you either a beer or a blow job, but I'm all out of beer.".

Something tells me R32's fuck is frequently rejected.

1) light a Buttercream Candy Corn Yankee Candle to set the mood

2) Put on some smooth jazz

3) Drop that pencil...

4) and wear something that whispers "Seduce me!"

As you stand behind him watching him work, suck seductively on a popsicle while moaning about how hot it is outside.

Baby Doll 1956

Dab some vanilla extract seductively between the folds in your chin and your mumu...

You know what Mama always said about the way to a man's heart...

So, OP, how're the pipes? Did you see his?

Cable installers are the easiest to seduce, especially if you schedule your appointment for the late afternoon.

I tried seducing the plumber once and it was a big fail. Afterwards I felt like some pathetic chain smoking scotch guzzling bored lonely housewife from the 50s. I had a good body at the time. His loss!

OP, have delicious sheet cake baking in the oven for when the plumber arrives. Be sure to wear an apron that signals your fun, free- spirited attitude to life. Wipe your flour covered hands seductively down your body and moan 'the aroma of nutmeg ...INTOXICATING '

^ too subtle

Kill your parrot first.

Innocently ask him if he is going to snake your pipes. Then gauge his response and proceed accordingly.

OP, you'll need to spend a fortune on your pipes if you continue to eat that way.

R44, do tell!

I had a cable installer ask me I needed anything else after he was done with everything. It sounded suggestive but he wasn't my type so I just told me that was it.

In all my years of having all kinds of repairmen and handymen and maintenance men and service men from Sears or Comcast ring my doorbell or knock on my door, not once has there been one who would get a second look from anyone.

No Mike Branson as a plumber who gives his t-shirt to a young twink to dry out after getting it wet under the sink and then has to go and find him on his bed, naked ass out, sniffing the t-shirt. Future Esquire Branson proceeds to fuck him senseless with his snake.

How's his plumber's crack, OP?

Better than this?

I one time had my way with a guy I’d hired to paint the inside of my house. Married guy, lots of kids, darkly handsome in a Guido sort of way. I stuck around just to keep an eye on him to make sure he didn’t fuck anything up. We got to talking. Soon enough, the topic switched to sex, then gay sex. “Guido” copped to a few drunken experiences when he was younger. Throughout the conversation we made intense eye contact with each other. Despite his obvious interest, I realized that I was the one who was going to have to make the first move.

“I think you’re really hot,” I said. “You’ve got a great ass.”

“Would you like to fuck it?” he asked.

Oh yeah, I would. And I did. Twice that day and once the day after. And all the time he was on the clock. Hey, I didn’t mind. He was one of the best fucks I ever had. I still whack off thinking about that fantastic ass—the one I got to enjoy up-close and personal more than 10 years ago.

Wooo R54, hot story.

When I first moved to LA I was kinda taken aback by how attractive all of the service workers I used in my first few weeks were - movers, cable guy, plumber, general handyman, furniture delivery guys, gas and electric, even some rando I hired off of Craigslist to install a screen in a hard to reach window. The movers were especially hot - all Aussies, tall, thick, muscular, beautiful smiles. I guess that's not that unusual. These days it seems like every other waiter in or waitress in LA is a beautiful Aussie.

Well "the man did not go up into the man" but he did finish replacing the drains in the kitchen and bathroom. He's coming back next Friday to replace the bathroom sink and toilet and kitchen faucet. After a couple thousand dollars the old house should be ship shape again.

He wears blue underwear and has a lovely plumbers crack.

Flap your arms, have someone assist you on the bed, bend over and spread your stumps. Ask him to grease up your downtowns?

If you offer them each an extra $500 they might allow you to rim them, OP

You GO Girl!!!

R54 fucked an undouched shitty hole

You have a second chance, OP/r57. Lay out the gay porn and plan your wardrobe!

Hey, R60 — R54 here. As a matter of fact, I did NOT fuck an undouched shitty hole. On both days, I helped him douche with an enema bag and he enjoyed very much that I did this for him. And that act itself was kind of hot in itself.

Only 5 days to get your hole ready, OP!

So did the plumber clean your pipes on his Friday visit OP?

Many years ago we had a fight with our husband and moved up north to Hollywood.

We hired a private mover with a van, he was very hot and British.

Well, after he had unloaded our furniture into our new flat he proceeded to unload his uncut 9-incher into our culo! (and NO rubbers!)

What's with the royal "we", R65?

R65, you can go into details. Who made the first move and how did it all happen in the end? It sounds totally hot.

R7 Dang, that'll haunt you for the rest of your life :( Great story, though!

[quote] I'm spending a fortune on my pipes.

Oh for God's sake just hire a hooker, it will cost you less in the long run and your pipes will be happy.

Our plumber is hot to death and a heavy flirt. “What this sink needs is a BLOW job,” etc. I think he just likes playing with the eldergays. (He’s at least nominally straight.)