Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

Why I was sweat-shamed as I waited for my coffee at Starbucks

[italic] The stigmas surrounding women’s bodies are powerful, but they’re no match for how powerful I feel after running

I was ordering coffee when I noticed a well-dressed woman staring at me.

“You look like you just did a class,” she said, giving me the once-over. I had no idea what she meant so I said nothing.

“Or swimming?” she offered, with a tight smile.

Oh, that. I’d just run 12 miles and the hair sticking out from under my hat was wet. It took me a moment to formulate an answer.

“Um, running,” I mumbled finally. “I just … sweat a lot.”

I took the paper cup of drip coffee and hustled past the condiment bar. Screw the half-and-half; I’d drink it black.

Once safely inside my car, I threw off my damp running cap and flipped up the hood of my sweatshirt in embarrassment. I wanted to dive deep into that Lululemon Scuba and never come back up for air.

Eventually the caffeine kicked in and it hit me: I’d been sweat-shamed. Sweat-shaming is when someone points out your sweatiness as a way to signal disapproval. Like its counterparts, slut-shaming and fat-shaming, sweat-shaming is aimed mainly at women, who are actually not supposed to sweat at all.

Horses sweat, men perspire, and women glow, as the saying goes.

I glow like a nuclear reactor. My body cools itself exactly as I need it to. After long, hard runs my fair, fine hair sometimes ends up dripping wet. I bring dry clothes to throw on afterward and try to forget about it.

Until somebody reminds me. Strong may be the new sexy and fit may be the new skinny but sweaty is as gross as ever. To “sweat like a pig” is to be fat, dirty, uncivilized. Nobody wants to fall into this category, so we attempt to conceal our perspiration – something I’d tried but failed to do at Starbucks.

Rather than challenge sweat-shaming, I played right into it, conceding that I “sweat a lot.”

But do I, really? We have been hiding this natural bodily function so long we have no idea how much a “normal” woman sweats – if there is such a thing – much the same way many men have no idea how much make-up it takes to produce “natural” beauty. (Cue the Amy Schumer if you doubt me.)

Now, instead of just concealing sweat, we may opt to stop it entirely. A flurry of recent “trend” articles describe how some women are getting Botox injected into in their scalps to keep their heads from sweating, thus preserving their blow-outs through intense SoulCycle sessions.

Pharmaceuticals may one day liberate us from perspiration. But what if instead we chose to be liberated by it?

In her book, The Female Grotesque, feminist theorist Mary Russo explains how throughout literature, the image of the “open, protruding, secreting body,” stands in contrast to archetypal female beauty and might offer a way to subvert it.

Open, protruding, secreting; this sounds a lot like the body of a woman running. Literature’s crones and bearded ladies may have been on to something, but it would be nice if women could exercise their freedoms without being regarded as freaks.

If I were to re-imagine the sweat-shaming incident as a music video, it would play out like this: a spotlight comes down, and maybe a disco ball. Baristas dance back-up around me.

“I don’t think you’re ready for this sweaty,” I belt out, to the tune of Bootylicious.

It’s just a fantasy, but it helps me see how I might react differently. I’ve got another long run this weekend and afterward, I’m going to sit down with my coffee, all sweaty and transgressive.

The stigmas surrounding women’s bodies are powerful, but they’re no match for how powerful I feel after running.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 97April 26, 2020 6:46 PM

Sounds like a Carrie Bradshaw column when she was in a dry spell with guys. Remember how she wrote one about the search for the perfect French fry. Mundane.

Why do people aka women give a shit about what strangers think about them? Baffling.

by Anonymousreply 1October 1, 2015 5:32 AM

The Guardian used to be a respectable paper...but with articles such as this one and the fact that Jessica Valenti works there well...it's almost as serious as HuffPost

by Anonymousreply 2October 1, 2015 5:41 AM

Jesus Effing Christ, one little innocuous comment sent this bitch on such a spiral that she was compelled to write THAT? How fucking narcissistic can one be? Clearly a lot more than I had ever imagined.

Maybe if she worked out more instead of wasting time writing crap like that, she wouldn't be such a sweaty fat ass.

by Anonymousreply 3October 1, 2015 5:41 AM

The notion of "Anything Shaming" is such a foreign concept to me. Doesn't anyone say "Fuck off" to rude people anymore? I sure do.

by Anonymousreply 4October 1, 2015 5:43 AM

Of course not. Then they wouldn't be able to polish their shiny victimhood trophies.

by Anonymousreply 5October 1, 2015 5:46 AM

I knew even before clicking the link the author would be a white woman. Oh, the horror. White lady needs an essay because she felt dissed at Starbucks when someone asked about her exercise.

by Anonymousreply 6October 1, 2015 5:46 AM

Sh4e is fish. She is trying to buikld a community through conversation and proactive listening. it makes her feel safe.

by Anonymousreply 7October 1, 2015 5:50 AM

For fuck's sake, she couldn't just respond to the woman's query with "yeah, I just ran 12 miles," and leave it at that? PS, if the woman was shaming her for anything at all, it wasn't for sweating per se, but for walking into a coffee shop all drenched in sweat—which is not a HUGE deal, but is kind of gross. If you are going to subject the public to your disgusting appearance or behavior, guess what? People are going to notice, and that does not mean that THEY are the assholes . What's next—"OMG, I got fart shamed today! Nature made my farts stink; how dare that bitch wrinkle her nose and embarrass me, just because I blew one in her face"?

by Anonymousreply 8October 1, 2015 6:03 AM

Victim culture is getting pretty absurd.

by Anonymousreply 9October 1, 2015 6:06 AM

Just give it back to them. If they can dish it out, they should be willing to take it.

"Yes, and you look like you just enjoyed a lovely cheesecake or two."

Or if you are so delicate about such encounters, perhaps it's best to not queue up in Starbucks after going for a run.

by Anonymousreply 10October 1, 2015 6:13 AM

This bitch desperately wants to be the next "Black Woman In My Yoga Class" Narcissist-Clown.

by Anonymousreply 11October 1, 2015 6:14 AM

Damn, just because someone noticed you sweating doesn't make you "shamed"! Grow up you delicate snowflake!

by Anonymousreply 12October 1, 2015 6:16 AM

Only a woman would write this, because only woman try to perpetrate the idiotic notion that anything their bodies do is wonderful and must be celebrated. They demand to be treated like a toddler who just learned to go pee-pee on the potty, even into adulthood.

She wasn't shamed at all. From the quotes the woman offers, the other person noticed that she was sweating and naturally thought she had been exercising. Which she had. You could easily interpret it as "She thinks I care about fitness and keeping healthy," only that wouldn't let her cry about how oppressed she is.

I eagerly await the next installment: "I was clock-shamed!" after a stranger on the street asks her what time it is. That's how absurd this nasty, childish behavior that women exhibit is.

by Anonymousreply 13October 1, 2015 6:23 AM

At least she's not fat and living in mother's basement. Can I get an "Amen", guys?

by Anonymousreply 14October 1, 2015 6:27 AM

I thought this was satire until I saw it was from the guardian. Still hilarious though.

by Anonymousreply 15October 1, 2015 6:27 AM

[quote]At least she's not fat and living in mother's basement. Can I get an "Amen", guys?

You have a stunningly original sense of humor.

by Anonymousreply 16October 1, 2015 6:32 AM

The "clock shamed" post is damn good, though. "Why would she assume I was in a hurry? Or running late?"

It is all so annoying. Peggy Hill's "Musings" column.

by Anonymousreply 17October 1, 2015 6:43 AM

Ok, somebody needs to write an article detailing the horror of their "clock shaming" and get it published on one of these stupid fucking sites, ASAP!

Can one of our talented DL brethren/systeryn get on this, please?

by Anonymousreply 18October 1, 2015 6:49 AM

R8 is fish who doesnt understand male communication.

by Anonymousreply 19October 1, 2015 3:47 PM

Wow, this is a thing? She actually got upset and wrote a fucking article about someone noticing she was wet. Jesus Christ.

by Anonymousreply 20October 1, 2015 3:54 PM

Today's young people have grown up being told that "everybody wins" and getting praised for every fucking thing they ever did, and the result is that they're TOTALLY UNABLE TO TAKE ANY KIND OF CRITICISM - no matter how gross or in the wrong they are. Modern teaching methods that are intended to create self-esteem don't actually create self-esteem, instead they have led to this kind of idiocy.

And no, it's not just a female thing. Yes, this ninny has used the language of feminism in a way that a guy wouldn't, but young middle-class men are just as bad in their way.

by Anonymousreply 21October 1, 2015 3:57 PM

If that's her pic, she doesn't look white, but multi.

by Anonymousreply 22October 1, 2015 3:59 PM

I think she should just shoot herself in her cunty head.

Everybody is a Star was just a song by Sly & The Family Stone.

I weep for 'Merica, the land of idiotic moron sheep stuck in their phones forever.

by Anonymousreply 23October 1, 2015 4:01 PM

Appearing tomorrow in The Guardian: "I was Clock-Shamed" by Siobhan Goldstein-Chang, Columbia '17.

I was clock-shamed.

Men don't realize that they are not entitled to a woman's time. They are not entitled to women telling them the time at all.

Modern society shows just how terrifying and dangerous it is to be a woman. There is danger lurking on every street corner, as I was reminded two days ago when I was finishing up my third Starbucks of the morning on the way to my public relations internship from Women's Studios 302, Deconstructing the Nano-Aggression. A man approached me, and I froze. He began to speak. What would he say? Would he cat-call, mansplain, or do some unspeakable violence such as doubting the comic gifts of Amy Schumer, thus denying me my reality? No, he said to me: "Do you have the time?"

I was so terrified that my hands were shaking. Drops of Pumpkin Spice latte fell like tears on the sidewalk. I could not reach for the rape whistle my mother handed down to me from her first Take Back the Night rally back in 1991. I could barely even tweet a cry of distress to my followers: "Patriarchal Oppression occurring now at 3rd and Main!"

What was he trying to say? That men are entitled to demand women service them by informing them of the time of day? This is what rape culture is. Or was he attempting to suggest that women are so silly that they cannot keep appointments, and need the firm hand of patriarchy to make sure that they meet their deadlines? Did he attempt to suggest that I could not afford a smartphone, the means by which most strong, independent women such as myself tell time, because I did not have a man to provide one for me? Or was he implying that it was not my watch that was ticking, but my biological clock, thus reducing women to vessels meant solely for childbirth? I cannot know what evil lurks in the mind of middle-aged businessmen waiting at bus stops, but my woman's intuition tells me that it was all of these, and more.

Women should feel free go about the day without the burden of knowing a man could demand she relinquish precious moments of her day in the same way that they demand control over our reproductive rights. It is time for women to fight the society that promotes the idea that time belongs to men and men alone.

by Anonymousreply 24October 1, 2015 4:32 PM

I thought the woman was being generous to give her a "swimming" option when she undoubtedly smelled like the inside of a horse barn.

by Anonymousreply 25October 1, 2015 4:57 PM

Feminism has jumped the shark. Seriously.

by Anonymousreply 26October 1, 2015 5:02 PM

I have a noticeably big package. I have been package-shamed many times. I got over it.

(Less than 20 words.)

by Anonymousreply 27October 1, 2015 5:06 PM

[quote][R8] is fish who doesnt understand male communication.

What the hell did my post about a stupid interaction between two women have to do with male communication?

by Anonymousreply 28October 1, 2015 6:30 PM

Imagine if it had been a man who had asked about her class or swimming activities...

by Anonymousreply 29October 1, 2015 6:34 PM

when you walk into a public business you should be presentable. if you are too gross looking (profuse sweating makes you look gross) you should have gone through the drive-thru.

by Anonymousreply 30October 1, 2015 6:42 PM

[quote]I thought the woman was being generous to give her a "swimming" option

The self-appointed interrogator deserved a big sweat sharing hug from the runner -- why did she have to intrude with her questions?

She's never interrogate a construction worker or a black guy.

by Anonymousreply 31October 1, 2015 6:46 PM

W&W R24. Just brill.

by Anonymousreply 32October 1, 2015 6:49 PM

[quote]when you walk into a public business you should be presentable.

Exactly. Sweating during a run is normal and fine. Walking into a food-service establishment dripping with sweat is gross. Take a shower first. Or at least deal with the fact that somebody noticed your grossness without whining that you've been victimized and shamed.

by Anonymousreply 33October 1, 2015 6:51 PM

Couldn't even read the whole thing. Jesus Christ, the special snowflakes are everywhere!

In my day we called this "being sweaty," it was generally something people weren't proud of in public, and we showered after a workout. This woman needed coffee immediately after running? That right there is a bit of a red flag. I'm no cardiologist but that plus the inability to process casual bitchery without a meltdown makes her sound like a heart attack waiting to happen. Poor little snowflake is going to run her precious little heart right to death with all the sweating and the caffeine and the big, bad people who judge her sweatiness everywhere!

by Anonymousreply 34October 1, 2015 7:07 PM

R24, submit that to the Guardian. You have two shots of their publishing it, depending on whether the editor sees it as satire or as another microaggression to bandwagon about.

by Anonymousreply 35October 1, 2015 7:23 PM

Maybe the author is so straight-assuming that she doesn't even realize when a woman is flirting with her?

by Anonymousreply 36October 1, 2015 7:32 PM

Sweaty people belong in gyms, not in stores.

The author is disgusting.

If you MUST have your Starbucks before showering at least have the common courtesy to use a drive-thru.

by Anonymousreply 37October 1, 2015 7:57 PM

Gym sweat is usually clean. I love that smell -- as long as the underarms have been taken care of earlier in the day, gym rats don't stink at all in my experience.

by Anonymousreply 38October 1, 2015 8:01 PM

R24, submit that to Voice for Men, Paul Elam's MRA site, and I bet you anything he would publish it, especially if you link it to the original idiotic Guardian article to indicate what you're spoofing.

Despite what you might have heard about homophobic MRAs, Elam is not a traditionalist conservative, is very gay friendly and being gay would increase, not decrease, your chance of him publishing it. He's even written articles and posted YouTube videos begging for more gay contributors:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 39October 1, 2015 8:07 PM

This reads like one of those situations where she only thought of the proper thing to say after the conversation was over. I don't understand why she thought it was an interesting enough page of her life to write about.

by Anonymousreply 40October 1, 2015 8:07 PM

Maybe the other woman was a lezzie and wanted to lick her box clean. Did she ever think of that? Well?

by Anonymousreply 41October 1, 2015 8:10 PM

These bloggers have NO self-censure. They would write an entry about the injustice of damp newspaper on a rainy day.

by Anonymousreply 42October 1, 2015 8:11 PM

But R40, there's nothing to indicate that the other woman was even insulting her! Maybe she was being bitchily passive aggressive, but on the basis of what she describes, it just sounds like she was making small talk. The writer sounds insane and a paranoid SJW needing hundreds of trigger warnings to get through the day.

by Anonymousreply 43October 1, 2015 8:12 PM

Ah, no, honey, the other woman clearly sounds like a bitch. But there's no law against being a bitch in public and, in this case at least, her bitchery was justified and well directed.

If you are going to walk directly into an eating establishment dripping with sweat from a 12 mile run, you deserve all the bitchy remarks and "sweat shaming" you receive.

by Anonymousreply 44October 1, 2015 8:21 PM

Songs on her iPad for running:

My Sweat Lord

Sweat Dreams (Are Made of This)

I Get The Sweatest Feeling (the closer you get the better you look baby)

Ain't She Sweat

by Anonymousreply 45October 1, 2015 8:26 PM

12 fucking miles? What a shamebragger.

by Anonymousreply 46October 1, 2015 8:30 PM

So a woman gets sweat-shamed - dares to analyze the situation for public consumption - then promptly gets blog-shamed. Because sometimes, there is no end to the shaming of some historically-oppressed groups. There is often a stigma against speaking out about the remnants (or covert manifestations) of bigotry and injustice.

You would think that more of us here would be more understanding of this woman's position. This is probably far from the first "microaggression" this woman has faced. Or do all of you sail through life without ever being the least bit bothered by homophobic microaggressions?

by Anonymousreply 47October 2, 2015 4:31 AM

What does homophobia have to do with this idiot? She made up a bullshit scenario about her sweatiness because she craves victimhood. Are you insane? (That's not a microagression, son, it's a straight up question.)

by Anonymousreply 48October 2, 2015 4:34 AM

lol @ R47

by Anonymousreply 49October 2, 2015 4:35 AM

That said - there seems to be a certain subtext to this blog that's - um - interesting. So this woman is a hot, sweaty mess after going for a 12-mile run - and a hot cup of Starbucks is what she desires?? I don't see how anyone who has just worked out like that would naturally crave hot coffee. Isn't the idea to cool down? This woman may have exposed herself by writing this blog (though I agree with her overall point to a certain extent). It sounds like this woman may have some sort of compulsive problem with exercise and certain "enhancers" that may aid in weight loss. It's not exactly "normal" to want to gulp coffee after such exertion. Why coffee? So you can sweat more? And caffeine is dehydrating - so you're dehydrating yourself at a time when you should be doing the opposite. She may be a caffeine loader. Going for that run may not have been the only reason for her profuse sweating - she may have already had some caffeine (or some similar "upper") in her system. The woman who felt compelled to comment about this woman's appearance might have looked at her and sensed that something was a little "off" - the sweating a little too profuse, and the woman a little too "amped".

Or is "caffeine-loading" after such a sweat-inducing workout a trend now?

by Anonymousreply 50October 2, 2015 4:35 AM

I'm hoping R47 is attempting to be funny. Otherwise, as stated earlier, why the fuck would I care about the opinion of some asshole I don't even know? About my sexuality, my size, my jeans, my sweat... Why would I not just say "Fuck off" and carry on?

by Anonymousreply 51October 2, 2015 4:37 AM

" I was ordering coffee when I noticed a well-dressed woman staring at me.

'You look like you just did a class,' she said, giving me the once-over. "

As played by Judy Parfitt in the movie version.

by Anonymousreply 52October 2, 2015 4:38 AM

No, R48. I would have thought that you would have understood the broader point a little better. This woman wasn't a victim of homophobic microaggression - but a case could be made that she was a victim of a different type of microagression. Don't you see? Women and gay people both endure microaggressions - though the specific type of those microaggressions may be different. There is common experience of dealing with microaggressions - which I thought would make more people here relate to this woman, and empathize.

by Anonymousreply 53October 2, 2015 4:41 AM

Next article: No One Will Make Small Talk with Me.

This delicate flower scurries past the condiment bar and out the door because a woman tried to make small talk. Her days must be filled with drama.

by Anonymousreply 54October 2, 2015 4:42 AM

No R53 you're trolling.

To empathize with this nitwit would be misplaced empathy.

by Anonymousreply 55October 2, 2015 4:45 AM

....

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 56October 2, 2015 4:52 AM

Well,that explains a lot,R56. I bet even her 8 cats hate her.

by Anonymousreply 57October 2, 2015 4:57 AM

Her eyes...are very alert.

Again, WTF are you doing in Starbucks immediately after a 12-mile run? And I wonder if it was something a little more than the sweating that the loose-lipped woman was responding to.

But I know that sweat-shaming can be a bit of a legitimate issue. I've been sweat-shamed (maybe I'll post my story).

by Anonymousreply 58October 2, 2015 5:02 AM

I was sweat-shamed at least once in my life. I was at a funeral that was outdoors, it was August, and we were in the South. At the time, I was taking a prescription medication that made my sweating substantially more profuse. And my philosophy concerning sweating was to sometimes "go with the flow" - to just let my body do its job in trying to cool me off. I was trying to let the sweat just naturally evaporate...the evaporation of the sweat is part of the natural cool-down mechanism. And I'm sometimes not that fanatical/concerned about thwarting my body's natural mechanisms for the sake of appearances. (Though I do hold in burps, gas, etc.)

However - I forgot that I was around other people who were more more uptight and reflexive about social norms and appropriate images. The person who was sitting next to me - my cousin's then-wife - was apparently one of these people. She caught one glimpse of my sweat-beaded face (which I had not bothered to wipe much because of what I said above) and proceeded to sweat-shame me pretty severely. Her remark was brief - but her disapproval/offended sensibilities were made pretty clear. Because of various "issues" that are present in my life , I allowed this woman to make me feel like some uncouth sloth - and my reflexive response was to feel shamed and to immediately wipe my face (IIRC - she may have given me the tissue to do so).

But why was it me who had to have the problem? In my mind, I had an "evolved", relaxed view about sweating - that it was a natural process that didn't have to be immediately wiped away. My cousin's wife had a more antiquated, less flexible view of sweating - that it was unseemly and something a "proper" person should wipe from view as soon as possible. I regretted that I allowed this woman to impose her views about my sweating on me - as though she were some supreme, omniscient power.

(However, maybe I should have gone ahead and wiped my face in the first place - given the "formal" situation and the fact that all of these uptight people were around.)

by Anonymousreply 59October 2, 2015 5:23 AM

People have a LOT of time on their hands if they can be distracted by micro-aggressions, and find them so interesting as to write blogs about them and make them a "thing".

They are not a thing.

Do your jobs, dears. Get real jobs. Do them well. Have fruitful and pleasant professional and social relations. Love your family.

by Anonymousreply 60October 2, 2015 6:18 AM

The other woman was just trying to start up a conversation. Maybe she wanted to know how the blogger works out or where she runs or swims. The blogger seems to have lost the art of conversation, and she needs to get over her self-importance. On the other hand, it is rude to point out the looks of another person, so I guess it's toss-up. A mildly annoying toss-up.

by Anonymousreply 61October 2, 2015 6:38 AM

All that, r59, just to let us know you lack the common sense and good manners to wipe the sweat from your nasty, dripping face at a fucking funeral? Tell me, do also allow your dirty ass to go unwiped without a relative outside the bathroom door to slip you some toilet paper and micro-aggressively shame you into cleaning yourself??

by Anonymousreply 62October 2, 2015 6:55 AM

"A flurry of recent “trend” articles describe how some women are getting Botox injected into in their scalps to keep their heads from sweating, thus preserving their blow-outs through intense SoulCycle sessions."

Seriously??????

by Anonymousreply 63October 2, 2015 8:10 AM

I don't believe this ever happened. The author invented it and got this piece of fiction published as an "it happened to me" because hey, everyone sweats, so the editors imagined it would have wide appeal. But the premise simply doesn't ring true.

by Anonymousreply 64October 2, 2015 10:36 AM

most of this took place in her limited imagination, whether or not their was a run, a starbucks, sweat, and/or a shaming.

by Anonymousreply 65October 2, 2015 10:43 AM

there was

by Anonymousreply 66October 2, 2015 10:43 AM

R24 I actually exist.

by Anonymousreply 67October 2, 2015 11:00 AM

[quote]Despite what you might have heard about homophobic MRAs

LOL - your backpedaling is adorable. Did the MRAs who flock to DL for the anti-woman threads finally figure out that it was a gay site? Only took them a couple of years.

by Anonymousreply 68October 2, 2015 12:25 PM

Actually, I should mention that I don't think most of the stuff on this thread has been anti-woman at all. This is pretty tame by DL standards. The two MRAs are easy to spot, and everyone else is being sensible.

by Anonymousreply 69October 2, 2015 12:26 PM

When will Taylor Swift take up her cause and write a song about this?

by Anonymousreply 70October 2, 2015 1:32 PM

R59 Any REAL southerner knows that handkerchiefs are a MUST when attending any event in the south during warmer months . Thanks to my grandpa,Ive carried them my whole life,I couldn't imagine standing around anywhere with sweat rolling down my face! Sweating is natural,but profuse sweating in a public place is disgusting. I wouldn't have wanted to stand behind this bitch as she was gushing all over the place either.

by Anonymousreply 71October 2, 2015 4:24 PM

Yeah, I grew up in the South and used to sweat so much as a young man, I had to carry a towel in the car on dates. But I was never "shamed" about it, I'd joke it off myself first. Thankfully, that stopped when I moved to L.A. and the dry heat, never came back again either.

Good news... All that sweat gave me amazing skin. Then and now.

by Anonymousreply 72October 2, 2015 6:03 PM

[quote]LOL - your backpedaling is adorable. Did the MRAs who flock to DL for the anti-woman threads finally figure out that it was a gay site? Only took them a couple of years.

In other words, you have no rebuttal and no facts on your side. The manosphere broadly consists of MRAs, MGTOWs, and PUAs (pick up artists). PUAs mostly are intensely homophobic, MRAs mostly are not. Elam has a banning policy in place on his site for anti-gay trolls, Roosh the most prominent PUA actively encourages homophobia. See the difference?

Try to do a basic fact check before you comment, otherwise you look foolish and ignorant.. Elam is also hated by feminists because of published pieces outlining the long history of explicit feminist homophobia. Some of the most militantly anti gay male sentiments ever published have come from feminist writers, something Elam's site makes crystal clear. Feminists hate him for that. Feminists have often been supportive of gay rights, but they are not inevitably and invariably so. MRAs can be homophobic, but they are not inevitably so, and Elam has always sought to dissuade straight men from homophobia and welcome gay men into the fold. Those are objective facts whether you like it or not.

by Anonymousreply 73October 3, 2015 10:24 PM

R68, I'd like to see you refute this piece by a gay MRA, a piece Elam solicited and published on his site. Go on , I double dare you. The author accuses many prominent, respected academic feminists of anti gay Male sentiment and bigotry. He quotes extensively from their books, verbatim. So where exactly is Elam wrong in asserting that feminists are perfectly capable of being more hostile than MRAs to gay male sexuality? That is Elam's contention, and he damn well proves it:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 74October 3, 2015 10:47 PM

I read some of the comments on the article and some of them are blaming it all on it being written by an American. I've never heard of sweat shaming being a thing in America. Now I feel American shamed.

by Anonymousreply 75October 3, 2015 11:38 PM

They probably blame it on Americans because the site publishes the American writer Jessica Valenti, who is the queen of this type of whining. See the article at link: "No, I will NOT wrap all the presents. Why are women still responsible for the holiday joy?"

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 76October 4, 2015 1:26 AM

I thought for sure this was a Salon article. It's that inane.

by Anonymousreply 77October 4, 2015 1:49 AM

r73, PLEASE go fly a kite. With a big dick on it.

by Anonymousreply 78October 4, 2015 2:14 AM

I'm on a shit ton of anti depressants and it makes me sweat a lot. It's embarrassing and I always worry about grossing people out. So I really can't believe this bitch who runs 12 miles working herself into a sweaty, dripping lather and then swoops into Starbucks like it's normal. People notice and it's disgusting. And you shouldn't be subjecting others to it if you can help it.

by Anonymousreply 79October 4, 2015 2:42 AM

She should be grateful there was no period seepage to incite remarks.

by Anonymousreply 80October 4, 2015 2:47 AM

Anybody who runs 12 miles should drop dead.

5 miles is plenty.

by Anonymousreply 81October 4, 2015 2:51 AM

Let's get out the torches and pitchforks and see how far and fast she runs then.

by Anonymousreply 82October 4, 2015 3:58 AM

r56, good lord. She probably ran 12 miles because she was petrified of her own shadow.

by Anonymousreply 83October 4, 2015 4:35 AM

The woman wins the Super-Stupid super-award for not only writing something stupid, but writing something so stupid that even the responses on Datalounge are stupid, whether they are for or against her basic argument. It's like a trifecta of stupid to write something so profoundly banal and ridiculous that even mocking it comes off badly.

I do hate her based on her picture, however, assuming that is really her at R56. She has a teensy little mouth above a pointy chin, yet manages to pull the whole tragically under-generous assembly into looking like it's part of her neck.

by Anonymousreply 84October 4, 2015 5:37 AM

Hello? Towel off, people. Carry one of those super absorbent microfiber whatever thingy in your pocket. Cool down and wipe off before walking into a shop instead of appearing inside of one looking like a pack animal.

by Anonymousreply 85October 4, 2015 5:42 AM

I thought this was satire too. Evidently it is a real article. Here is some more nonsense from the Guardian. I wonder if the woman in the article will feel dog shamed?

The Guardian has seriously lost the plot

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 86October 4, 2015 5:45 AM

The swowel! A sweat fowl one can wear on the waist

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 87October 4, 2015 5:50 AM

Sweat TOWEL, not sweat fowl. I don't think fowl sweat. Have guinea fowl and they don't sweat. They take dust baths

by Anonymousreply 88October 4, 2015 5:51 AM

Disgusting. She should have been shamed. Public shaming exists for a reason. No one wants her stomach churning ass leaking in their morning coffee. Go home and shower. Christ, people have no sense of decorum any more.

by Anonymousreply 89October 4, 2015 12:41 PM

Why is it that these delicate flowers always assume that there is some broader conspiracy afoot to deprive them of their rights or denigrate their existences.

Isn't it more reasonable to assume that she was shamed for being nasty, sweaty, smelly - without the common decency to clean-up before going out in public?

In some ways, the loss of any sense of propriety is the price we've paid to have a freer and more open society.

I was speaking to a friend of a friend - a woman who moved to the US in high school and didn't speak English, but ended up graduating as valedictorian of her class. She and her husband were both Harvard medical school graduates. We were at a party where she was obviously pregnant, but was sipping wine. I asked her about it. She explained that the reason that drinking alcohol, coffee, and other restrictions are so draconian is that Americans don't really understand "moderation" and, that unless they are stated as all-or-nothing, people will take it as a license to get drunk every day.

To me, that story sums up the problem with society today. People have taken personal freedoms and liberty to mean they can do whatever they want, whenever they want without consideration of other people or any sense of decorum or propriety of the situation. There is no sense of moderation.

by Anonymousreply 90October 4, 2015 1:01 PM

Was I just splooge shamed? I was on my knees hoovering dicks in a sex club and then I went around the corner as I was dying for a big coffee to get my energy up. This prissy nancy standing behind me took a sniff of my sweaty t-shirt and saw the sperm stains on my dark jeans, and said cooly, "See you've been doing some cleaning." I didn't think about it until I was heading back to the sex club when suddenly it occurred to me....

by Anonymousreply 91October 4, 2015 1:29 PM

LOL, R91

by Anonymousreply 92October 6, 2015 9:04 AM

I get wicked hot flashes where I get a sweaty face and hair and nobody has ever noticed to the extent that they would make a remark about it. This bitch must have been dripping from head to toe. Blech.

by Anonymousreply 93October 6, 2015 8:26 PM

I got this crap as part of workplace mobbing because I'm a big guy who sweats and I paid it no mind.

by Anonymousreply 94October 6, 2015 10:41 PM

And you probably stink too,R94.

by Anonymousreply 95October 6, 2015 10:46 PM

Others have worse body odor than me R95, and they didn't get this kind of crap.

by Anonymousreply 96October 6, 2015 10:48 PM

I stopped sweating so much when I gave up the booze. Give it a try, OP.

by Anonymousreply 97April 26, 2020 6:46 PM
Loading
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.

×

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!