Shamed For Not Being A Slut.

Did he personally offer to "remedy" the situation? What a humanitarian!

Lots of gay men are fairly slutty. If you aren't that makes you stick out as something "different". I mean come on rest. Public cruising, bathhouses, backrooms in bars, now craiglist/grindr/scruff/jacked/adam4adam, we are sex positive people supposedly.

And you say this like it is a new stereotype? Please OP, you know full well it has always been the stereotype of gay men since there was a gay man label that we are slutty.

I'm sorry I need to at least know someone a little before I can get with them, if that makes me a bad gay then so be it.

R3 I'm the same way. I'm adventurous but only exclusively. That's just the way I am. I can only act like a slut with one man at a time and while in an exclusive relationship. Don't change who you are to fit stereotypes, OP.

With gay marriage, times are a-changing. The focus is on finding a life-long partner, not sleeping with whomever you can.

It's always been that way and I'm 60.

OP - Spare us, you sanctimonious walking chastity belt. You don't really believe that one must be a whore to be gay. Not fooling anyone. Fishing.

STFU

[quote] When did being a cum guzzling whore become a requirement for being a legit gay man?

When Danny Pintauro went on Oprah.

No I don't believe it but apparently many gay men do R7.

Did these meanies make you wear a big scarlet letter P for Prisspot, OP?

Nope, OP, your response at R9 doesn't cut it either. In fact you are fishing for people to say you are on the rightful path, honourable, and the slut promoters, and sluts, are wrong.

When in fact your stupid binary is stupid stupid stupid.

You're gay and you're not a slut. Big fucking deal.

what is your point?

Are you embarrassed to not be slut? Do you feel belittled? Honestly, you feel shame? Do you really respect sluts and want to be like them? Do you really think that gays can only be sluts? NOPE!

So what is your point? You spoke to a dumbass who said something dumb to you.

Being a slut or not need to have an judgments attached to them. Protect yourself and you can do whatever the heck you want for fun!

When did an offhand comment (allegedly) made by a nitwit become something that is supposed to apply to all gay men?

OP, are you fat? That's it, isn't it?

Your either a bit of a slut...or a liar...

I'm using this person's words jackass he said I wasn't truly gay because "all gay men are sluts" you don't like the phrasing take it up with his gaping well used ass.

R13 I don't shame barebackers, either. I don't shame PreP truvada whores. I don't blame HIV+ folks. As long as people deal with the results of their actions, what is the point of this shame continuum?? Sex is a messy complicated business and people do make mistakes and have regrets. Some more than others.

What is with the "I'm a unique gay" threads? There was the thread about the plight of being gay and "masculine", this isn't the first thread about not being "slutty" like other gay men, and then there's all the bullshit about not liking "gay culture" and only being friends with straight people.

Gays are the same dull average people with the same range of IQ, critical thinking skills, self-awareness, creativity, courage, spine, balls as all humans. Mr. Abby Normal OP wants to be special but he's not.

[quote]we are sex positive people supposedly.

"sex positive" is the PC term for SLUT!

R18, I'm willing to bet that most of the "I'm not like other gay men" threads come from guys who don't consider themselves attractive enough to be part of what they consider the gay crowd of wherever they live. As a reaction to this, they use whatever trait they can find to make them seem different from and superior to others. This allows them to believe that they are rejecting the gay community instead of the gay community rejecting them.

Instead of indulging their whining, we should tell them to hit the gym, get a better haircut and shower for once in their lives. They'd be more likely to find the happiness they clearly do not have.

But I must know what the herd is doing!

R21 Slutty gay sheep.lol

There is one really, angry slut on here right now, who I imagine is scowling and typing angrily, while simultaneously getting slammed: "Damnit, David, can you keep a steady rhythm! Someone is wrong on The Internet and my typing looks like trash because of you!"

R24 LOL

R25 Every time a slutty, little queen goes off on a tirade against the delicate flowers of DL, this pops into my head:

Girls, we're all pretty(fu$&@$ Up)

Acceptance takes the anxiety out of the exercise of self-examination.

Was the guy's comment really shaming you, OP, or just some other guy's opinion? "Shaming" gets thrown around a lot these days. Just because someone has an opinion doesn't amount to shaming.

Not sure you were actually shamed. Someone probably gave an unsolicited opinion that really amounted to nothing.

Shaming gets thrown around because it's a convenient defense to any sort of criticism at all. Why consider what anyone else says if you can dismiss it as shaming? Slut-shaming, fat-shaming, and so forth.

It's a woman thing, and no self-respecting man should debase himself by doing it.

We were talking and I told him I was never into hookups or one nighters because I always felt weird afterward and therefore preferred being with guys that I had a connection with and he basically went into a rant about how monogamous gays were self loathing and trying to assimilate into straight society.

To many people, a slut is someone who has fucked one more person than they have.

Poor prudish OP, who doesn't know what he's missing, and insists that straight rules apply to him.

I'm not going to do something I don't enjoy just because all the cool gays like you are doing it R33. How's that PrEP working for you by the way...if you even bother with it.

How do you know you don't enjoy it?

I thought I wouldn't enjoy it until my first orgy, which was one of the most fun evenings ever.

Never caught anything. Always played safe.

Yeah, OP makes it all about how he's being shamed but doesn't hesitate to make PREP & gaping ass digs at those he thinks are sex pozzies. News flash, OP: there's no one right way to be gay and it's moronic to think there is or should be. Speaking of moronic, r4 seems to have confused being a slut with being a wife.

There's a right way for each individual person.

R36 Translation: "There's no right way to be, so stop judging. But let me judge R4 for saying 'This is who I am; be yourself'.'

OP, notice R38 purposefully wrote "wife" and not "spouse" at R4.

Yes, there are stereotypes. Just be yourself.

R39 I meant at R36 .

[quote]With gay marriage, times are a-changing. The focus is on finding a life-long partner, not sleeping with whomever you can.

You do realise that at least 70% of those relatonships/marriages are open, right?

Take an HIV poz load and then you be able to say you are slut without sleeping with a lot of guys. A true gay!

OP, get over yourself, you're not that important.

Not all gay men are slaves to their cocks.

Shame! Shame!

This is not a problem only among gay people. A straight man sometimes is shamed if he refuses to cheat on his girlfriend/wife, he is seen less a man. Also, I was shamed (by another man) when I refused to fool around with a man who had a girlfriend unless he left her, because I only helped her and I would suffer too much in the future...this is funny because man and woman who fool around with partnered people aren't this happy.

R46 Go away.

And take the OP with you.

Gay men seek validation through sex

Thread closed.

Gay men enjoy sex and don't build it up to be the end-all, be-all of relationships or confuse sex for love.

And it's not like the community hasn't paid dearly for that attitude R50.

OP, don’t let him shame you for having class. He just wanted to bed you without doing the work.

“I’m not a piece of meat! I have all sorts of feelings that I don’t eat!”

Who knew there were so many bitter sluts. lol