Are you contractually obligated to be friendly if you're sitting at the bar?

You might be excused (but still horribly behaved) if you are under 25 and fixed on your smart phone. However, if you are adult, yes, you should be friendly and polite in a GAY BAR. If you want to be alone with your phone, go to a god-damned generic hotel cocktail bar and sit on a sofa by yourself.

WEBMASTER, STEALTH ASPERGERS THREAD!

If you can't get Germans to follow orders you're hopeless.

OP - you do sound like a jerk. You need to get over whatever inner voice is telling you negative things about yourself or dreaming up bad social situations.

Most people are nice and friendly. Really.

I don't think it's so much being a jerk. You sound like you have serious social issues, OP. You went to a bar to socialise but hid in your phone. There's fear there that you have to get over.

Thanks for the responses. I wasn't at a gay bar...just an Irish bar near a popular hotel in the area.

I think if I was in a gay bar the situation would've been a little different. Being single I wouldn't mind meeting some nice guys, but I tend to be overly cautious in sports bars and such.

It's actually been surprising how very non-gay this place is (especially compared to where I'm coming from--Wash. DC).

You are over analyzing this way to much! Just be a human being ffs.

Stay home if that's how you are. There is nothing worse than just trying to be friendly to somebody and a bar and then they act like you do.

Ha! I was just about to warn you to stay away from Irish bars!!! When I was doing a lot of international travel associated with academic research....my hosts took me to a pub at the end of the day.

Well, being Canadian of Irish/U.K. descent (grandparents) nothing and I do mean nothing prepared me for the "Irish pub experience " All I remember is how dark the interior (it was still daylight outside), and the crowding....you literally had to find a spot - anywhere - and just stay put. But my fondest recollection was the cacaphony of chatter, laughter and I mean these people were the happiest and most gregarious bunch I had ever seen.

I knew immediately, instantly that I was witnessing a fleeting moment of true Irish culture, the sense of belonging, conviviality, extrovertion, and the deep, deep sense of community was so uplifting. And it wasn't chatter for chatting sake, they were all engrossed -each little group - in riveting repartee, with energy and laughter seeming limitless. I felt a tinge of sadness witnessing this in downtown Dublin and knowing I'd be leaving Ireland the next day.

When you go to other countries, you are bound to be confronted with a 'slightly' different way of doing things. The key is to take it in and enjoy every second - and put away your gadgets - that is rapidly becoming and looking silly !!!

You're an asshole with serious mental problems. Seek help. One of the best things about travel is meeting the locals, numb nuts.

You were at the bar on your own OP, or with someone? Did you refuse to talk to some random strangers or people you already met? It's not the same thing.

Get drunk first and then you will see how easy it will be for you to get over your social phobia!

[quote] I completely ignored them and opted to play with my phone instead

[quote] I ignored him, but when it became clear he was talking to me, all I could say was, "Excuse me, do I know you?" (in a slightly snotty tone).

You are either emotionally disturbed or you're a straight-up asshole.

In both of these instances you made a conscious decision, you made a choice to behave like a complete twat. You could have been a decent person and kept to yourself while not treating people like they are dog shit stuck to your shoe. A friendly word or two. That's all. And then back to your little bubble.

On behalf of everyone else at that bar that night.... Well fuck you, asshole.

You're a mental case, plain and simple. If someone asks you something specific that directly relates to your current situation then there is a very good chance that they do, in fact, "know you."

[quote] I think if I was in a gay bar the situation would've been a little different.

No, it wouldn't.

You're incredibly rude. Grow the fuck up.

[quote]I don't think it's so much being a jerk. You sound like you have serious social issues, OP. You went to a bar to socialise but hid in your phone. There's fear there that you have to get over.

Agreed

[quote]If you want to be alone with your phone, go to a god-damned generic hotel cocktail bar and sit on a sofa by yourself.

Start by people watching and work your way up to the bar when you're ready to engage in conversation.

You might not have the best reputation for a while if you and the guy you ignored move in the same circles and he tells people what a tool you were.

[quote] all I could say was, "Excuse me, do I know you?"

It really sounds like you need to learn manners.

I would never, ever speak to someone like this, because it's just plain rude. I wasn't raised to speak to people that way.

I agree with the others, that you should just stay home and avoid human contact. There are enough assholes in the world, to have to deal with one more.

You had that coming, OP.

[quote]Are you contractually obligated to be friendly if you're sitting at the bar?

The fact that the only reason one would be friendly while sitting at the bar is for "contractual" reasons in your mind says all we need to know about you, OP.

If you’re an introvert you are contractually obligated to sit at home alone and not go out. Hope this helps.

Bump bitch STOP dredging up these ancient threads.

Good questions OP. I used to be that way. In NYC - I felt I should be able to go to a bar and not engage. I think you were overly rude though. There are subtle ways to stifle a conversation. A tight smile, a “no” and turn. Try to be polite.

What I couldn’t stand was the drunk or overly aggressive types who wouldn’t take a hint. Then you can be rude.

As I’ve gotten older and happier and less stressed, I’m more open. Much more willing to engage. But there will always be an annoying or obnoxious person with whom you do not want to engage - one of the lessons in life is shutting that down diplomatically but firmly. Like dealing with an aggressive panhandler.

[quote]Bump bitch STOP dredging up these ancient threads.

After it was bumped, I didn't even notice it was that old.

How does that idiot even find threads this old to bump.

I go to bars and no one talks to me. No one contractually obligated to do so either.

Easy solution- don’t sit at a fucking bar if you don’t wanna be talked to. Done.

Why are you sitting at a bar? Social distancing cunt.