Do you ever look up your school crushes?

Interesting that you should bring this up because I was just trying to look mine up yesterday. I can't seem to find any information on him. I'm not close enough with any of my classmates to ask them where he is now.

Of course. A friend of mine considers it stalking. I call it using the tools available to us now.

It's so strange that both of my childhood crushes hardly have any presence on the internet at all-- no Facebook, no Twitter, no news stories, almost nothing!

I do this all the time. I found a YouTube video of him. He looks and sounds exactly the same. He’s some attorney on Wall Street. If I had played my cards right I could have been in the Manhattan elite.

Every now and then I google their names. Never learn much new

[quote]both of my childhood crushes hardly have any presence on the internet at all

Maybe they both preemptively blocked your stalking ass

Yes sometimes. He's still gorgeous

I haven’t for years but last time I did there were no recent pics of him, just his family. Blond with and two blond daughters. I’d like to think that he is obese now—just so he isn’t perfect for the first time ever. He is a tech guy.

Blond wife

Mine sometimes appears on my high school class Facebook page, with other people. He isn't on Facebook. He was amazing looking, with an almost bizarrely muscled physique. He strutted around the school knowing everyone was looking at him. And, of course, as this was in the 70s, he wore tight, tight jeans.

Saw a recent photo of him and he's got a pot belly and a full head of white hair. Still handsome in a way. Interestingly he never married, and no one seems to know if he even ever had a girlfriend. He was, it turns out, an alcoholic. And because he came from a rich family, he never had to work. So I guess he spent his life drinking, playing golf, and having sex with people off whatever sex without letting anyone else know.

Yes, mine OD’ed several years ago leaving behind a grieving widow and 7 children. Typical small town catholic boy

My crush on my high school crush actually started in the 5th grade! He's still so sexy but a repug, unfortunately. He's white and married a black woman who is semi-famous in the sports world and he's a stay at home dad and personal trainer. The stay at home dad interracial marriage thing doesn't lean repug but there ya go.

Yes, 2 brothers and I had sex with both. I liked the older one more at the time but the younger one turned out to be super handsome. Played around with them in high school - both straight although I believe the older is bi.

Which one of you bitches is gonna post yours? I want to post mine but too afraid he’ll find this. And he’ll totally know exactly who I am, as I wasn’t shy about my crush.

I was in love all through secondary (high) school, but the object of my affections is either dead or incredibly discreet on social media.

Yeah he’s fat and has been ravaged by age. He also married a frau supreme.

I hooked with mine in college. He was in my circle of friends but we were never best buds, but I fantasized about him. In college, we became better friends he was renting a house so we would go to his house to drink. We went out one night and I was heading home and he asked to bum a ride. He was pretty drunk. When we went back to his house he looked at him and said "I bet I can get you hard." I was dumbstruck. I figured he was messing around so I said go for it. He grabbed my dick in my jeans and started rubbing my crotch. He looked at me and smiled and then kissed me. It was a drunk man kiss so I decided to put my tongue in his mouth. He responded and soon we were making out while he was grabbing my dick. I pushed his hand away and unzipped and fished out my dick, now fully hard. I figured he wanted to see it so I would make it easy for him. He grabbed my cock and broke the kiss. He said it was pretty big and went down on me. I could not fucking believe it. He even fucking swallowed, then hopped out of the car and went in his house.

Mine is now completely bald and living in Costa Rica; he is married and seems very happy. Good for him.

I have his body in an unmarked grave in my backyard. Nothing else but bones left now.

High School: Sort of. My closer friends, only so far as flirtation and potential encounters if I had more guts. Guys I found really attractive, that I've met, but not close friends, small encounters and camming (mid-2000s video quality and Internet being terrible). I had a boyfriend through most of high school but I didn't have the courage to really go for the hottest guys that I had some gaydar about.

Early College: Almost. Its a long and lame story, that I won't continue, but I'll start with that he was one of the hottest guys I'd ever met (in spite of/including his facial imperfections) that I shared most classes with, came out as bi to me within the first couple weeks, and while I'd gotten to kiss parts of his body at certain drunken points, only almost kissed his lips before he gay panicked. Stayed occasionally visiting friends for years after college but a couple years ago we had a bad night that I felt particularly wrong with (not me, but his actions were a last straw) so I cut off all social ties including mutuals. I still have occasional pangs for him, now knowing that what we had was more than just a phase - something I had tried to assume for years.

Returning College: I crushed a little, not nearly as much as last time, but I was late 20s and most other students were late 10s or early 20s, and that mostly dampened things. I also didn't much love most of my peers during this time, and there was no single person/guy that sucked up my attention and attraction in whichever ways. There was some men I would have definitely gone along with if they led the chase, but I wasn't going to take the initiative - maybe partially because the chain of the last guy ended so poorly from me doing so.

There's still a chance I hook up with a past classmate, but college itself, while it included hookups and dating that I didn't mention here, it didn't include the most awesome fantasy sex that I'd have most wanted. There's the idea of the Early College guy having a soured marriage (or on other path, a sexually opened up one) and reaching out to me as he used to, except with more directness and apology. There's the idea of a Returning College guy, one of several that I had suspicions about, getting flirty. But most likely I'm going to actively try to move on from either thing. I've already basically decided that I can only really stand out gay men that built up their own sexy confidence over years; closet cases or dramatic sorts won't work.

Lame, r17. You’re gonna have to do better than that.

I remember looking for one of my high school crushes, in high school he was athletic, great smile, awesome hair, when I found pictures of him on line, he had become a doctor, fat as hell and bald. Some times things are best left as memories.

I had a major crush through all 4 years of high school on Neal, who was gorgeous and popular. And he was very nice to little bespectacled, spazzy me. I've looked him up online. and I feel sad for him: not just the divorce or the aging, but becoming a Scientologist. I feel like he's a lost soul.

My high school crush was gorgeous with olive skin and a body to die for. He’d walk around the locker room naked, flexing in front of the mirror. By his late 20s he was totally bald with a dad bod and his face looked like the face of a guy in his 40s.

My early college crush was a good buddy of mine who kind of looked like Matt Damon. He’d grown up very religious in a small town like I had. I don’t know if he’s gay. I’m sure he was at least bi but never acted on it with me. Would just kind of drop hints that I was too closeted to respond to or too stupid to pick up on. His psycho girlfriend was a theater major and knew enough gay men to be suspicious of our friendship. Once they got engaged, she basically cut off all contact he had with me. They have some kids now. I think about him often.

I've tried to look up a guy who used to walk around our college dorm naked a lot. He was gorgeous. I've been able to find out he's not married but that is about it. Unfortunately he has the same name as a semi-famous baseball player so the search results always pull up the ball player.

Mine was also named Dan, like OP, but he was homophobic and the reason I was forced to come out much earlier than I did. I just found out recently that he works for the New York Pig Department in the same district as Reichpublican Bob Holden. He's gotten fat too.

r21 sorry my pathetic life bores you. feel free to gouge your eyes out with a spoon.

I have always been attracted to grown men, so I tended to have crushes more on my teachers than on fellow students. Since I went to HS more than 40 years ago, most of my teachers are probably dead. The one I'm thinking of in particular, my 10th grade math teacher, would be in his late 70s and so could be alive but has such a common name that finding him would be nearly impossible. And, truthfully, I'd rather remember his in his handsome, athletic, porn-stachio'd '70s glory than whatever he may look like now.

The one fellow student I had a brief crush on is alive and well. He's a psychotherapist in Ventura County (we went to HS in Maryland, but he was always a California type, even back then); he's OK looking for a man in his 60s, although with a shaved head, which I dislike. I know he has been married at least twice and has children from both marriages, but I don't know about his current relationship status.

I was twelve. His name was Palo. We were both in the legislative youth program. He was a few years older than I - very cute, dark curly hair, dreamy eyes. He went on to become an artist.

Do all these guys who walked around naked at awkward ages have big dicks? I would never have been comfortable with public nudity when I was in high school

r28 I hear ya'. Lusted after more than a few teachers, and one coach, damn but they were hot.

The 2 guys who lit up my 'nads were so far above me in every respect, but their attitudes towards people in general was one of contempt, and what can you do for me. Saw them at my 20th reunion(only one I ever went to) and they looked pretty much the same.

My main teacher crush showed up at that reunion and he was still looking fine, never saw a man fill out a suit as well he could. The jocks monopolized him(he'd been an asst, coach as well as a teacher) so I just sorta' admired him all over again just walking around. {{{ mega sigh }}}

I always look up people from high school and crushes I had when I was young and working. I don't find everyone.

My high school crush was named Joe. He was a year ahead of me. He had straight, dirty blond hair and a beard...handsome with a great smile and easy charm. I can hear his laugh today. He wore tight jeans. He had a terrific ass. . He also wore plaid shirts with the sleeves rolled up and a vest. (I graduated from HS in 1981). I haven't seen him since he graduated. Googled him...he's a doctor, married with kids, bald, and a bit overweight.

I have no idea of the identity of my crush in college. In my junior year, I lived off campus. Two days a week I had an early morning class. When I left the house to walk to campus, I would encounter a guy a few paces ahead of me walking to his class on campus. The guy lived a bit further off campus. I began to leave the house at the same time, so that I'd see him just as he was passing my house. He was drop dead gorgeous and wore the tightest jeans. His butt was divine. I fantasized about him throughout junior year. A couple of times he smiled and said hello. But I was too stupid to introduce myself.

I don't dare. It would be too painful

No, but I ran into him a few years ago on the street (we both live in NYC).

Time has been good to him—he’s put on weight, but has the kind of frame where the few extra pounds just make him look more masculine and better built, and filled out his beautiful ass.

I always liked his beefy, hairy forearms and used to imagine them wrapped around me while we kissed.

Mine was from college. Natural athlete, smart, white blonde straight hair and super cool. We both dated girls, did a lot of drugs and would have sex with our dates in the same hotel rooms. He went to boarding school, so was actually worse than I was on the rebelliousness curve. I didn't figure out till later why he would invite me over to his place and nobody would be there but him. Always emerging from the shower and going straight to the bong which we would work over while he was still naked. I think we both kinda knew what was going on between us. But we were like the two core members of our little party squad and I didn't really want to torpedo the good times.

I went to look him up the other day and found out he had died. We had not been in touch and there were no details on SM about the cause of death. Only mentions of how he had found Christ this and God ruled him and his families life that. We were both versed in the Bible and only of a few of our friends could keep up when we started talking comparative religion. I think all the obit stuff about finding Jesus again were put there by his family. Not so much that I don't think that he would have reverted to his religious upbringing when contemplating his demise. I just think if he did that he would have done it more forcefully than the Sunday School version that they put out there for public consumption. I know that doesn't make sense.

I regret not seeing him before he died more than I do not having hooked up with him. And considering how those things often go, I am kinda glad we never did.

The two hot Italian brothers that he lived with were another matter.

My taste in men has been progressive over the years. I saw my school crushes pics and couldn't even think of getting attracted to any of them.

Shakespeare is right gals about tattered weed.

When forty winters shall beseige thy brow, And dig deep trenches in thy beauty's field, Thy youth's proud livery, so gazed on now, Will be a tatter'd weed, of small worth held: Then being ask'd where all thy beauty lies, Where all the treasure of thy lusty days,

I always look these people up, old crushes and boyfriends, to see if there's anything, photos and such. I don't think that's stalking. It's what the internet's for, really. Although I suppose there's potential for that. It's usually remarkable to see what they look like or what they're doing today. Some good, some bad.

The biggest reveal for me was my first boyfriend. We had a six month long, fun and intense, passionate relationship in the 80's. We were inseparable. We were both 19. It was a wild time, but it ended horribly. A huge falling out. We left each other in a violent shouting match and never saw each other again after that day. Life went on.

Over the years I'd occasionally hear from people he'd moved here or was living there or had seen back in town briefly. In the early days of the internet I tried to look him up a few times but there was nothing. Some two decades later on Facebook one day I looked him up online and there he was. Married with a young daughter, now divorced and dating another woman. In a semi-famous band for a while. Still very arty. Older, but looked the same. It was amazing to see him again. Just looking at photos of his eyes.

I wondered if he'd ever looked me up too. I thought about it a lot and decided not to reach out.

I realized more than anything I just wanted to see if he was still out there, and that he was doing okay.

Mine was a mixed-race guy, slightly older than me. He had the most beautiful smooth cafe-au-lait skin and narrow hooded eyes. He was short (5-6, max) but perfectly proportioned. I was in love with him all through college but never acted upon it, though I am pretty sure he was attracted to me too. We would always end up sitting next to each other in class and parties. Though we both went on to med school, we lost touch. I hoped to see him at every convention, but our fields were different. I looked him up a few years ago online and casually dropped by his office - and was very disappointed because that youthful beauty had turned into an dweebish, Alan Dershowitz type professor. He had married, divorced, one son.

The real sad part about high school and college was that I was the crush for some guys and so many of the girls, and I never knew about it till I encountered them years later. I was so closeted that I focused entirely on my grades and sports and getting scholarships so that I could escape. I didn’t lose my virginity till I was 25. And what is especially pathetic is that my parents were liberal and supportive and would have totally supported me if I had come out early.

Oh yes. Highly successful married to another highly successful, high profile man. If I said too much you could easily figure it out.

R25 when searching for some with the same name as someone famous you can search for them like this

hank aaron -baseball -sports

You can keep adding minus and terms to eliminate the results that come up most often that bring up the famous person, it won't eliminate all of them but it helps.

And deal with the relentless envy of the closet? Those of us who were out and proud, and lost lovers and friends to AIDS, and were relentlessly discriminated against in employment, and subjected to repeated violent attacks....if you do look them up, they say, "I heard you were dead." And then you have to hear how their life is better than yours because they married a woman, and had a career, and kept their physique. All delivered in a shrill defensive tone, clearly indicating they are disappointed as hell you aren't dead and living proof that they did not have to do what they did. And that cuts to the bone because after all, they would have done it better than you if they had chosen your path, in their minds....

Played with mine all thru high school, he went off to college, knocked up some girl , became an alcoholic, would drunk call me, tell me he loves me then died

I’ve tried to do this. But he has very little online footprint. Was able to find his name listed on a company website but no pics. He was the most handsome guy in high school and the quarterback, trite as that is. In 10th grade gym when we did swimming, I remember getting a locker next to his so I could see his smooth body and blind bush. I was afraid I’d get hard, but it was worth the risk. He was beautiful. He would be in his mid-fifties like me so not likely to be such a beauty anymore. Maybe it’s better to remember him in his glory n

R43 Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

I did recently OP. Oh gawd he's ugly now. Note I wish I hadn't.

Oh yes I looked them all up, I was the ugly one in school and they all made sure to let me know it. But it seems that was the peak of looks for the majority of them, having aged poorly looking like 40 year olds instead of late 20's, not keeping their weight down, and I have become the fairest of them all! I'll never be beautiful on the inside, but by jove I've got them beat on the outside now!

Randomly looked up a guy I crushed on when I was a freshman in HS and he was a senior. I always loved that his yearbook quote was from Marx, which, considering this was a small conservative town in the South, was 180 degrees from everybody else's quote.

He gained a lot of weight but seems to be a good, smart, accomplished dude. Inasmuch as you can determine these things on Facebook.

Seriously, I have looked up a few. Most are married with kids. One was gay I’m sure of it. A couple of them have passed away.

Isn't this the entire purpose of social media? And not just for the gays.....I know of several het marriages that have broken up because the hubby reconnected with an old flame on FB.

Anyways, mine - like most others here - is married with kids. Still looks good though. He was so fit in high school, with a nice big ass that people would make fun of. But man I spent many hours thinking of rubbing our dicks together, grabbing his ass as he pumped into me.

Gray hair and a beer gut. What a disappointment.

Are you finding you're doing more of this during isolation, either with crushes or exes?

I reconnected with a few HS friends. I am out and open (it takes about 2 seconds on my page to discover I hate Trump and like cock - lol). One of my old HS friends has been semi flirting with me on FB in messenger. It started with the usual "you are gay?" then the questions - when did you know. Did you ever mess around with any one etc. Then started the flirting. First he asked me if I ever had a crush on him. Then in one message he told me about a time we were hanging out at a party and he was passed out, how I totally could have "done something." and he would not have minded. Finally I just flat out asked him - are you curious about men? He stopped messaging me for a few days and then sent me a singel word message back. YES. Honestly I don't know what to do now. He is married two kids. He is still hot as fuck just a little older. He lives in my hometown and I plan on going home for thanksgiving. I am tempted to present hole .

R53. In my experience, with that dialogue, he is not interested in your hole.

r53 that type of guy would maybe let you give him a blow job but nobody will be presenting hole

Yes. We lived next door to each other in our early years and then I moved away. We then spent some time together at the same high school. He was model handsome, athletic and muscular, a true jock. Recently connected with him on Facebook and he is still good-looking, although we both are considerably older. Unfortunately, he is a raging Trumpster and I can't bear to read his posts.

Couldn't find him on any social media, found his wife's Facebook and there's pictures of them together holding 2 grandbabies and he has gray hair and is overweight. What a let down. He married a woman who already had a son so that's why he has grandsons at our age (I don't consider myself that old...typical DLer).

r57 here again, the listings I found online that give out your address and such he is listed as a Republican. That really blows it! In a way it's kind of a relief to see the guy I have thought about for years is not great, now I can stop thinking about him.