DLers tell us about your first time in a gay bar

I was 22. It was in Houston, I don't remember where. I was recently out of the closet.

I was pretty nervous, got really drunk and didn't really talk to many people. The second time I went when I was more comfortable in my skin I got laid.

27; San Francisco ;Trinity Place (GREAT bar; R.I..P.); Yes; Nervous - but a little flattered.

SchwuZ, Berlin, 1977

I’d like to hear more stories.

It was crowded, I was nervous.

I accidentally stepped on a drag queen's foot. She shrieked!

I was mortified.

It did not go well after that.

Fieldens's in Richmond, VA, circa 1990. I was 20, not out, and terrified.

Lol R5. Poor thing.

Woodys in Toronto. I remember walking up and down Church Street for an hour before I had the guts to walk inside.

Awww r8 I’m glad you found your courage.

I was 24 and was so petrified I had just come out of the closet.

My friend drove up from DC to NYC and took me to a few bars.

I'm not really much of a bar person in general so it's a world I've never known much.

I was 20, and the bar was called The Kings and Queens in Woonsocket RI. I was living in Providence while in college and was working at a local hospital. I was befriended by a group of older lesbians that worked there. I was very shy and I think they took pity on me and started inviting me to their social events (mostly house parties). It was a really nice bunch of women and 30 years later, most are still my friends. Anyway, they invited me to this bar knowing I would be really nervous and self conscious and agreed that we could leave if I was having a difficult time. It was a neighborhood bar, mostly older folks, so I ended up feeling quite comfortable. I had a conversation with an older man - looking back on it he was so patient and kind as the conversation was really not appropriate. I was treating him like a therapist asking all kinds of personal questions and way way oversharing....what a little twat. I was Catholic and struggling so much and was afraid I was going to become what the church was teaching me....sex starved, addicted to drugs, chasing little boys, trying to seduce married men (it's a laugh looking back on it now). I asked him if there was love in the gay world - would I be able to love another man? Anyway, he helped me a lot. So there was my first experience at a bay bar - I wonder what he thought of it.

New Years Eve 1973. Madison WI, The Back Door. Kept coming back!

How old were you?

Where was the bar?: Atlanta, GA

The name of the bar.: Blake's

Were you out to everyone at the time?: Not everyone. There were still some people on different continents that didn't know.

How did you react to getting cruised the first time?: First time cruised was many years later (New Orleans, LA). I went home with the dude. I was so flattered that I was actually cruised, that I said yes.

^^ I was 27

The Cabaret in Kansas City (when it was still downtown) . 20yrs old and I used my fake New Mexico drivers license in 1977.loved it and the dancing and the music and some surprisngly hot guys !. It was the disco dancing at the bars that drew me in back in the day until i just simply became alcoholic..

16, Woodys, Philadelphia. I had a fake ID. I assumed it would be a sexual free for all and was so excited about finally getting to try gay sex. Instead it was an awkward , cold circle of men sitting in a circle - all looking at me and not talking. So disappointing. But I went back again and eventually hooked up with a mediocre middle aged guy and had uninspired oral sex.

It confirmed I was gay. But also instilled terror for the next 5 years as I assumed I had caught HIV and would die before 22. Even though tests became available with a year or two, I had no idea how to arrange to get one and was too terrified to find out anyway. My sexual prime was lost to terror and fear of AIDS - but at least I’m still here.

Awww r16. Poor thing.

In 1984, age 18, I was new to the big city (Cincinnati) and a bunch of friends took me to the big gay bar, The Dock. I realized I had forgotten my ID and they all angrily drove me back to my house on Ludlow Ave. While there, we decided to go into this little hole-in-the-wall gay bar, which was literally just a nondescript door on the street. There were a bunch of middle-aged guys staring at us twinks. There was the tiniest little dance floor like a shower in the corner with Saturday Night Fever colored lights in the floor. Only two people could possibly have fitted in it and there was just one middle-aged guy dancing in it by himself. I had a sloe gin fizz.

We left there pretty quickly and went to the Dock, where the guys were all walking around the big room in a circle like a Jane Austen promenade. As a pimply, pale, twink, I attracted no attention and went home empty handed. :(

Don't even know if this was the slightest bit interesting to anyone.

So cool, r18. Those memories were a good read.

I remember driving down to The Dock when living in Columbus, it was a great venue and I do miss those days.

The gay bars aren’t like they used to be. No mystery, no intrigue...

I was 19 and terrified. The law at that time made gay sex illegal under the age of 21. If I met someone we couldn’t do anything without the risk of being reported or arrested. I spent at least thirty minutes trying to summon up the courage to go into the bar-Austin’s in Hope Street, Glasgow. Long gone now.

I bought a drink and went to the most inconspicuous spot I could find. Too late. I had been spotted by an infamous drag queen who called herself Betty Hutton. She proceeded to rip the piss out of me, to the delight of her followers. After a while she stopped. I had passed the test. I didn’t cry or run out. She bought me a drink, and gave me some good advice about men, gossiping queens and how to maintain a decent reputation in a city with a small gay scene.

I didn’t meet anyone that night. I was far too scared.

Betty Hutton hasn’t been seen for years. The last I heard she was in a care home and has dementia. I still have a soft spot for her.

21. West Sacramento, CA. The Hawaiian Hut. I was not out, but went with a bunch of lesbian co-workers.

LOL I've never been in one.

1987 Rage in WEHO, 21 years old. I couldn't stop shaking when I walked in the door I was so terrfied. A couple beers later and I was off and tramping.

I was 17. It was a mob-owned bar in St. Louis and the bouncers just eyeballed people and let them in. The cops were paid off - eventually they weren't and there were raids until agreements were restored. I was with a group of much older (as in 40-56) gay men, and being manipulated abused by one of them without having enough experience to realize it. Big place - dance floor, cruising areas, back rooms, several bars.

I didn't like it. The men creeped me out, the vibe was unpleasant - predatory but pissy - and as the youngest person I could see I felt misplaced. But I was taken back and eventually could stand it.

At 18 I went to some bars with guys my own age. I was surprised that the experience was pretty much the same.

It was only later that I had some fun and relaxed. Got picked up once (someone I had met before) and only picked one guy up (pre-arranged), and that was much later.

Maxey's Famous Door in Indianapolis. I was 19, using a borrowed driver's license. And at 19, I looked 16, not 23 as I was claiming that night. The guy at the door rolled his eyes and let me in.

The Famous Door was a drag bar with great shows. I had a wonderful time. The cocktail waitress kept pushing drinks. I had no idea what to do about that, didn't know anything to order. A friend told me to order a White Russian. That worked, but I've never ordered another.

The Odyssey in downtown Vancouver, circa 1994. It was the one night of the week devoted to strippers, which I'd never seen before. A very hot and muscled-up guy took hold of the dance floor while everyone formed a circle around him. He was naked as the day he was born, cock ring in place, squirting oil onto himself from a squeeze bottle, thrusting and pumping and grinding to "When Doves Cry." It was a revelation. I was too young and shy to do much except hang with my friends (mix of guys and gals) and drink and dance, but I realized I was home.

1975.

14 yrs old.

Boccaccio, San Juan, PR.

Song playing as I walked in: Dancing Queen.

All these same sex couples partner disco dancing with each other.

I never looked back.

22 years old, bar in Munich, got fucked in a sling in the backroom.

Good times!

[quote]I never looked back.

So -- surprise anal then?

first time ever in gay bar, rich cowboy said u wanna drive to malibu with me and meet the stars? i did and i did and thus began my big fat movie star life...so kool

April 24 1984. 620 Club Iowa City. Part of a fraternity hell week scavenger hunt. The patrons cruelly mocked us.

1961. I was 17. New Colony Bar on Greenwich Avenue, Christopher-10th, ,later LaCrepe and Empire Szechuan. A was nervous, the bartender was friendly. Was chatted up by two guys, one wanted to take me home, but I had to be back at my parents apartment by 10:00. Took his number, went to his place later in the week. He was 22.

R26 I had a friend who hung out at the Odyssey around that time. His name was Evan.