Disclaimer to my hook ups: My apartment is not your hotel.

Parody post?

I seriously doubt you'll ever have to worry about any of this as no one will be fucking you.

Thats why you are single op

hahahahahahaha smell her! Who would give hole to her?

You sound positively unfuckable. Lighten up, hon!

Bad feng shui to have anything over your bed, shelves, mirrors, pictures etc. And you should always be facing the door, being able to see it from bed.

You deserve every STD, stomach bug, flu and otherwise skeevy infection that you get. If a hook-up wants to scrub down, there must be a very, good reason for it.

Meh. "Turkey meatballs" did it far better several years back, OP.

EL James, what have we done to deserve this honor?

"Any questions."

You had me until that shameful misuse of punctuation at the end.

What R8 said, though the line was "I'm not running a b&b here."

I doubt you even have much of a social life OP.

I get it. A hook-up came over last weekend and sweated so badly all over my sheets (even AFTER I made him take a shower because he stunk), that I had to wash the sheets AND the mattress casing, the pillowcases AND the pillow casings. What happened to just cumming and going?

Your hookup takes a dump before you have sex? That's interesting. It must be like 1920s in your hotel.

Two of my hook-ups sweat profusely while we're fucking but they're both so damn hot that I just suck it up and wash everything after they come over. It's worth it.

I can only imagine what he OP looks like. I'm guessing it ain't pretty, folks.

If the hookup is hotter than his Grindr photo, OP is not going to care about any of this.

You don't have a bar of soap in your bathroom? What kind of barbarian are you?

You must be a pleasure to fuck the shit out of.

she claims to be a top, R18

This thread really makes me miss the Turkey Meatballs thread.

Why is everything "new", just a shitty ripoff of the original?

OP, may I suggest you cut back on bringing home street trash.

JFC. Another bossy bottom, in and out of bed.

And yet, R22, she claims to be a TOP.

Can't you critics read miss stampy feet's post?

How can there be any room for dicks in OP's ass when there's already a stick up it?

R14 How many times do I have to write it: Personal hygiene was very high in the 1920's!

real sad post, op. i pity you.

Yeah. Someone would come over to fuck you. As if.

I have a 2-part question (if this isn't a troll post): OP: WTF is wrong with you? and, OP: why don't YOU go to THEIR apt??

What about before the1920s, R25?

You need a reality check. I am astonished you can find anyone willing to fuck a whiny, entitled bitch like you without paying them a huge stack.

OP is a hybrid of Bruce Vilanch & Tony Randall

that bruce vilanch sure is ugly.

Your trick probably had such a lousy time taking your pencil dick that he wanted to get his perks/money's worth after this encounter. A quick shower (to wipe the bad karma away) and a beer to hasten the forgetting. You give gay a bad name

$700 to put up a shelf?

[quote]$700 to put up a shelf?

Well you don't expect the OP to risk breaking a nail doing it himself do you?

Be careful op, annoying bitches are being disembowled these days. You may be cleaning your own guts up off your precisious bedsheets and stuffing them back inside you if you're to much of a complainer.

Since DL is anonymous, Op, why are you posting this here? You should add this to the Craig's List ad you usually run.

I would let the trick pee.

Careful, or he'll shit your bed!

OP is a top?? That is laughable.

I am picturing the OP in a caftan and sandals.

Yeah the most fake part of this OP is the idea a top would ever write it. I am all for a fun post but you should have embraced the bossy bottom character cause that is your voice as a writer OP.

An effeminate bottom like the OP should be more grateful for a top's attention.

OP, you forgot to add:

I am telling you NOW so I don't have to tell you THEN.

If OP really were a top, he wouldn't be complaining about tricks using the bathroom before sex (unless he likes his action a little German, if you get my drift).

OP, I hope the next poor slob who fucks you wipes his shitty dick on your new hand towels!

Maybe you shouldn't have so much casual sex with strangers, OP.

I'm a top and I never host. I always go to their place so I can leave when I want. If I invited some bottom over to my place, there's no telling how long they'd want to stay.

My partner and I hooked up with a very hot a Turkish guy right before the lock down. He ended up sleeping over... and wouldn’t leave. I was telling my partner about the “I’m Not Running a B&B” Datalounge thread from years ago... he eventually got up and only wanted an orange.

Do we think Muriel bumps these random five year old threads just to get people to stop talking about Trump and Coronavirus?

Duh, R47, I'd go home after we had dinner with your parents the next day. Nothing too committal, silly :)

Yet another dredged up post from 5 yrs ago - why R46?

Solution: Install a glory hole in your front door. $700

2015 must have been a banner year on the DL

And do not cum inside my ass unless you ask first.

I would run so fast. Op sounds like dahmer

The poppers in the minibar are $700 to break the seal and have the first sniff.

Each subsequent sniff is $3 less than the previous sniff, at which point they are basically water.

And who doesn’t keep soap on his bathroom sink?

[quote]Any questions.[/quote]

For this Saturday: same rate as last time?

If someone is coming to your apartment and immediately going into the bathroom for 15 minutes, they aren’t taking a shit. They’re A) doing drugs or B) raiding your medicine cabinet and then doing drugs.

OP = proof that John Waters posts here

I hope some trick you won't let use the bathroom shits all over your sheets.

Perhaps its just the type of sexual partners who are attracted to you.