SCRUFF, GRINDR, JACK'D, VGL, HORNET, GUYSPY, PLANET ROMEO, TINDR, OK CUPID...???

My experience is that I am 53. If I want to get laid when Im travelling, I go to bar, or a sauna, or sex club, or a cruisy spot, put on my charming face, and it usually happens. NOTHING happens for guys over 50 unless they have huge cocks.

meaning obviously, nothing happens for guys over 50 on THOSE aps. They just suck time. If I want sex, I have to go out and get it the old fashioned way.

Surely, there must be a scholarly journal that would be interested in developing OP's findings further.

Sorry R1. I have a friend who is 54 who gets laid off Grindr and A4A all the time, usually by much younger guys. He is good looking -- in shape, has all his hair, does not look like an old man yet, but there it is.

As for 33 year old me, I also travel a lot OP and agree it varies from place to place. Adam4Adam is hot in LA, Grindr much less so. Reverse in NYC and SF. Manhunt everyone is over 50. Scruff seems to get a lot of bears which I am not into and I don't like the interface.

Pro Tip: Using Grinder while you are in a bar actually makes things a lot easier. Horrifies EGs but cuts out all the BS.

Grindr in NYC is the same people all the time. It's like they never log off. There was a study last month about usership for Grindr and the vast majority of users reported not hooking up with it but just checking guys out.

Grindr everywhere is the same people all the time. It can be a huge time suck-- lots of guys want to just chat or trade pics, but that's common enough.

You have a link to that study?

OP, how many STDs do you have, dude? Be honest, it's anonymous here.

Who are these people with the STD=phobia? Is it EGs from the AIDS era? Or just, as the saying goes, mincing prisspots?

Play safe and you don't get STDs. Stay sober, insist on condoms and when the guy mentions liking it raw or swallowing loads, you run like hell. Or at least hit the "block" button

Whores.

How are the apps any different than going to bar and trying to pick up someone? I guess it is just old people who came of age before the apps.

And like r8, it is just common safe sex. Always use a condom and don't hook up with anyone who is into breeding and shit.

There are always going to be people who are just into chatting or trading pics. If what you want to is to hook up right now just make that clear from the beginning, and move on from anyone who isn't into that.

These apps once again are just tools, you have to make it work for you and what you want.

R10 - the difference is with the apps there's none of that face-to-face rejection so you can cast a wider net.

Sigh. There you are, R7, right on cue. Not that it's any of your fucking business, but I don't have any STDs/STIs. I've actually never had any. I'm 34 and have been sexually active since I was 15. Oh, and horror of horrors, I'm vers and have topped, bottom'd and flipped multiple times with multiple men.

R1 - maybe give it another shot. I've hooked up with 50yr old+ guys via apps multiple times. Hot is hot. And experience is highly valued by many younger men.

R4 - never even heard of Adam4Adam. Will have to give that a shot.

Re: Scruff, I certainly haven't found bears to be overrepresented on Scruff and that's been the source of most of my hookups from the past 2+ years. Unless you're one of those hair-phobic guys who defines anyone with a single chest hair and body fat percentage above 2% as a bear. Ha.

And as for using GRINDR in bars. I'm not an eldergay, but whenever I'm out with friends we do our best to put our phones away. Have even gone so far as to say the first one caught checking his phone buys the next round of drinks. Apps are great and I would not get laid half has much without them, but I think part of the thrill of gay bars and clubs is not knowing what's in store for the night and using our, you know, eyes and body language and pheromones. Okay, it's not as efficient, but isn't the hunt part of the thrill sometimes?

Oops. Forgot to sig. That's me, the OP, in R12.

You sound like a nice guy, OP. Ignore the dickheads.

OP is a medical miracle if he doesn't have STDs. He at least has HPV. The worst part is that he is continuing his unhealthy behavior unabated.

Aw, thanks, R14. I try to be. And, you know, yes, physical beauty is always going to be paramount, but I also find kindness to be an incredible turn-on. I mean, bitchery and snark is fun, don't get me wrong, but a decent heart can give me a raging boner, too.

R14 is a pathetic loser.

R17, do you find that a lot of guys are attracted to bitterness and animosity? I don't understand the need to constantly sneer at others for no apparent reason, but if it brings you some measure of pleasure, good for you, I guess.

R15, don't know what to tell you. I get tested regularly. Never had any kind of STD. I had jock itch once in college; that's the closest I've gotten. I've also topped more than bottomed (prob about 70/30), so that probably helps a bit. I don't know what you're going for. If you're trying to get me to admit guilt or shame for being sexually active with multiple partners, you're not going to. It's quite possible to be physically, mentally, spiritually healthy and to have a very active and varied sex life.

There's no shame in being a slutty bottom. Own it.

R4 here OP. -- apps are great in bars if you're traveling and you're by yourself. No awkward standing around looking for an opening line into a group of friends or waiting for someone to come on to you. Don't have many gay friends so rarely hit those bars in a group.

And as for my definition of bear, it's a very overweight guy with chest and back hair.

You are right that being safe prevents STDs. That means avoiding sketchy people and people who engage in unsafe sex. Sometimes if I get a sense that a guy might be sketchy I'll ask him if I can bareback him. If he says yes, I am out of there with some excuse about a stomach ache.

Yeah, agree w/ OP - scruff is better. I met a BF on scruff. I barely meet anyone on Grindr anymore...same guys on 24/7 any time I'm on. And, they're rude & stupid.

I think people confuse these apps with video games.

It's pretty sketchy to have sex with countless uncommitted partners who also have had sex in such an indiscriminate manner. You can bet that such a po of people will have STD rates far above the norm of the mainstream population.

Oh very good point, R20. Going to a bar while traveling without friends can be a touch intimidating. I feel you there. I know it's super cheesy, but in those situations I've sometimes bought a cute guy a drink. It usually works; at least to get some conversation going even if it doesn't lead anywhere. I might be a weirdo, but I kinda enjoy the high wire act of going into a bar in a city I'm unfamiliar with and trying to make some kind of connection even if I end up going home alone. I think even guys who look intimidatingly statuesque and perfect feel those same jitters we all do in those situations and, I've often found, they are relieved that someone else has taken the initiative to break that proverbial ice.

Thanks for the PSA, R22. "the more you [biblically] know..."

Starting this thread actually caused me to fire up GRINDR for the first time in weeks and I had a message from a very attractive, hairless, 20-something inviting me to an "exclusive" and "discreet" sex party for "actors, models and other successful and beautiful men from 21-36, held monthly in luxury homes in Hollywood and Beverly Hills." He asked if I was interested in learning more, I said "sure". At first I thought he might be a bot, but he responded like a human to several questions. His response reiterated how I didn't have to worry if I was on the down low as they had a very strictly enforced code of privacy for all attendees and that most of the attendees valued discretion. To get further in the process I have to submit some additional photos and sign some kind of non-disclosure agreement. I've actually never been to a formal sex party and I don't really fit the description of "actor, model etc." But now I'm damn curious about checking this out. What do you think? Am I going to turn up and be sold into sex slavery or have my organs harvested? They're making it sound like some Eyes Wide Shut stuff.

Sex club, it's always a sure thing.

I hate that some of these are apps only and you can't go on them online. I don't understand why the owners can't create a site to link up with people who choose to go on by phone? I prefer going online rather than on my phone to look for dates

Adam4adam and manhunt both have an app/website option.

OP - the "actor, model" part sounds like sales puffery-- they say that to all the boys. But I'm curious who goes. Seems like the sort of thing that closeted types would flee from as it involves giving up photos and emails, but you never know. I've gotten those too in the past and wondered what they were like. Didn't pursue them because I envisioned a bunch of unattractive middle aged men.

Keep us posted.

Yeah, good point, R27. Although, mayyyybeeee it's being organized on behalf of those closeted actors? Ha. Probably not. They seem to have a strict age range (21-36). I jokingly asked the guy if they'd turn down a really hot 37 year old and he said they would. I think I might submit just to check the scene out.

Ewwwww

What do guys in Europe (Germany) use? I downloaded Grindr and Planet Romeo and the options were TRAGIC.

I find it all pretty brutal. Therefore I don't do it. I have enough on my hands meeting people in person through normal social contacts, bars occasionally and my gym as well. And yes I'm old- so all you youngsters are not missing anything I guess. I'll stick to what has always worked, even if many men think the only way to meet guys is via these aps.

"Who are these people with the STD=phobia? Is it EGs from the AIDS era? Or just, as the saying goes, mincing prisspots? "

No, it's misinformed Undergays who have no clue about how to have safe sex, or even sex. Anyone who survived the AIDS pandemic knows better.

There are two types of homosexuals those with SITs and those who lie about having STIs

In Germany, head for the fickstutenmarkt

I'd download the apps just to see if there were actually any guys on them from my small town but the whole process seems kind of cold and impersonal to me.

There's a way to be smart with these apps. Don't fuck anyone the first time you meet them (even with condoms)-- wait till you've met a few times and know them and have a sense of who they are. You can tell by how paranoid your partner is about risk too-- the more paranoid, the better.

Tip for EGs - being in the middle (30s) I find that EGs view these apps like an immediate conversation, like if you don't answer back right away they think you're blowing them off, where the 20somethings view it as an ongoing text message and if they don't answer today, they'll answer tomorrow and they get freaked out by EGs who feel they've been blown off.

Good lord, some of you people act like getting an STI is the end of the fucking world. For what it's worth, I whored around a lot and have never had syphillis or gonorrhea (or HIV for that matter). Just be sensible in who you stick your dick into. Use your head and you stand a very good chance of never contracting anything.

OP & R24 & R28 here. Update on the sex party from R24. I'm quoting the response I got word from word after submitting additional pictures to the guy including full body pictures with my face:

[quote]"You look great, [my name] but I thought you just had a good tan. Sorry these parties are only open to white men. We might be inviting Latino men to a future party. Will let you know."

Ugh. And I'm not Latino, anyway.

That's straight up racist. Wow.

It's a private party where are people are fucking. They have a right to determine who is let in (their ass).

sure, but it's still racist.

These type of sex parties usually fall apart quickly with no one, or very few, actually showing up.

No wonder so many gay men are still getting infected

R41 How is that racist? The hosts don't want to fuck them, therefore they're not invited.

I don't invite people to fuck that I'm not interested in. Do you?

I'm in an AOL "M4M" chat room right now but it seems to be rather slow today.

[quote]We might be inviting Latino men to a future party. Will let you know."

Did you tell him, "don't bother"? I'm guessing you didn't.

Seriously R46. That line was the worse to me. After they pull that insultingly racist bullshit of "your kind is not invited" you let me them you might cave and stoop low enough to hook up with your kind in the future. Jesus Christ, if that was me I would quickly let them know where they could stick their KKK orgies.

Also, dear lord it is pure racism. I can't believe people are trying to argue otherwise. This one is even more hilarious/sad because they thought the poster was hot and was excited about hooking up with him until they realized his bloodline wasn't "pure" lol, it's so pathetic.

And btw, I hope you are making clear to your partners you aren't interested in hooking up when you meet. There is nothing wrong with that but other guys use grindr for sex, so if that isn't what you want you need to make sure they have the right expectation of what you are offering.

Sorry, that last part was addressed to R36.

[quote]What do guys in Europe (Germany) use? I downloaded Grindr and Planet Romeo and the options were TRAGIC.[/quote]

And Italy? You see literally throngs of beautiful men on the street but they're really tough to meet as they keep to their own circle of friends they've known since school days. I think Grindr casts the widest net in Europe. Unless, of course, there are other country-specific apps I don't know about?

[quote]Did you tell him, "don't bother"? I'm guessing you didn't.

R46, I just responded "ok, sounds good", not because I'd actually attend a future party now, but because I want to see how he reacts when he approaches me in a few weeks with some message about they're now accepting Latino men for certain parties and I tell him, actually, I'm South Asian.

R50 South Asian? Did you submit a cock shot to the group?

I did. Why?

None of these unless you're a slut.

The sex sites really revealed a sobering truth about gay male life. As soon as they took-off, the bars all closed and I stopped looking for Mr. Right. He don't exist, honey.