Gaydar is nothing more than stereotyping, says study

I've seen a recent study - I don't know if it is the same as that of the thread - showing that the faces of gay and straight men are guessed as gay at the same rate if guessers are offered the same description about the man's hobbies and personality.

"Gaydar is nothing more than stereotyping,"

Duh.

Gaydar in pictures is silly stereotyping - it's the type of thing straight women say.

"Gaydar" between two gay men is not about the way they dress. It's about the subtle cues you see when cruising another guy - the eye contact, the quick once over, the lingering glance at certain party of the body, the look the other guy has in his eye when you make eye contact.

Spotting another gay man is about attraction and assessment of sexual availability - THAT is why it's impossible for women to have gaydar with regard to gay men. Even the lack of sexual interest cannot be used as a barometer.

TRUE gaydar has nothing to do with sterotyping.

most gaydar is, I agree

Interesting study. I agree.

Please, you've never caught a "vibe" off someone?

Gay people can tell, straight people cannot.

Some people are walking stereotypes though. Haha. Like the two Ellens.

True gaydar is not guessing or stereotyping. It's intuitive and knowing.

R3, bullshit.

r11 - spoken by a not gay guy.

Have you ever cruised (to use an old timey phrase) a guy while walking down the street. Have you noticed how gay men react vs. straight men? That's gaydar.

Have you ever made eye contact with a guy which last miliseconds too long - that's gayday.

It has little or nothing to do with stereotyping - though gayface is gayface, as another study quoted here noted.

Gaydar is real because when a guy is sucking my cock, I can tell he's gay.

The "researcher" behind this is very young. It feels like more know-nothingness and gay culture taken over by the clueless or non-gay.

More often I find something (a connection) in the eyes.

I don't believe this for a second. My gaydar is never wrong. I knew about gay celebs long before they came out.

Gaydar is offensive, politically incorrect and needs to be stopped.

I can recognize some people by stereotyping but that isn't always the case.

I saw Kristen Stewart., she was dressing in a beautiful dress...hair and makeup perfect yet I knew she was a lesbian, right away. So I can't say I understand it and maybe a lot of it is just stereotyping but not all of it.

R12, I'm a gay woman and I can spot a gay man or a gay woman. It has nothing to do with anything sexual.

I've rarely been surprised.

I can even tell which straight guys would be "curious" after a couple of beers.

I can tell gentiles with "goynar

Another alternative to gaydar is to wet your finger and stick it in the air. If a minigay suddenly pops onto it and rotates pleasurably, you are probably in Chelsea.

Both those jokes fell flat R21. Don't give up the day job.

Bullshit. It's a sense only gay people have. It's real.

Ms. Cox is just mad she was out of the closet to everyone but herself. The Canadian girlfriend, the WWF fandom, the really butch shoes...nothing helped.

R3 You are wrong, but it is understandable since you are not turned on by women. I am telling you here and now that when a woman is in close contact with a straight man, regardless of her age or sexual appeal(unless she is just straight up repulsive)the man instinctively sends out signals of interest even if they are involuntary. I have a job where 75% of the men I work with are gay. I can tell almost immediately if a man is gay because straight men always touch your arm or place their hand on your shoulder etc when meeting for the first time(it's a very informal environment ---nothing like an office.) This was true when I was 28 years old, and it is still true 20 years later. It doesn't mean that said man wants to fuck me, it's just an involuntary biological response I guess. And I have never once been wrong.

R10 is right. I can tell if a guy is gay long before I know anything about his interests or personality. The problem is straight people who think "omg, he likes a lady gaga song...he must be gay!!!"

R26, can you tell even if they are from different cultures? I can't tell sometimes with some nationalities, unless they are really flaming.

Gaydar and gay stereotyping are two different things. Gay stereotyping boils down to effeminate = gay. Gaydar is eye contact between men. The two terms got confused when fraus started using "gaydar" to refer to their obsessive need to identify men on the downlow.

It's not "nothing more" than stereotyping. It can include stereotyping if there's a list in your head of stuff only gay people like, and you hear that stuff about someone.

For me, with men, it's gay face and gay voice. With women it's hair. I grew up taught by nuns, so my gaydar is screwed up for lesbians. There are four gay guys on my corridor where I work and I knew 3 of them were gay before I knew for sure they were gay. Two of them are introverted and meticulous, one of them is extroverted and more of a big picture person, and the fourth is sardonic. The fourth I wasn't sure of because of absence of gay face and gay voice, but there was other stuff.

I'm not obsessing over this, but people clock stuff about each other all the time. For example, at a previous job, there was a girl newly in NYC from Texas. I didn't give her sexuality any thought. We became work friends and there came a time she had a romantic crisis, and the whole time she talked about it, her significant other was "someone", not he or she. "This person." So I was thinking, oh, okay. She had long hair, no make-up, nothing in particular to signal sexuality, but there it probably was. I'll call her Tessa.. There was a woman in the office, corporate attorney, hair shorn close, always in pants, no make-up, no manicure, etc. After Tessa did tell me she was gay, she told me the other woman had come up to her and recited everything - I remember it was at least her bag and her boots, and was all like "Uh huh.", like "I know you."

That last was a few years ago. If it were now I'd probably say, is the person male or female? Or she'd probably just use the right pronoun, no indefinite.

There are a bunch of gay couples in my building. For about five of them, am I not supposed to automatically know they're gay based on obvious tells? The others I would never have known if they didn't tell me.

But when you know, you know.

R29 Are you gay or straight? Male or female?

Straight people are funny. I've absentmindedly used "person" instead of "he", but I never thought about the possible assumptions made by people who aren't aware of my preferences.

R25, a lot of gay men are super flirty though, even with straight women.

Or "person" instead of "guy", rather. Like, "Maybe I should date a person from there."

R23

Think so ? I think that many straights have it about their own sex i.e. straight guys can often spot gay and straight women can tell the orientation of other women. Again, its subtle things like a look etc....

The concept of gaydar being based on stereotypical old thinking such as a man in a pink shirt is gay, while a man in a Steelers' jersey is straight is archaic and just plain dumb. However, if the man in the Steelers' jersey has eyebrows groomed to the gods, I will clock him as gay in a hot second.

Exactly. And how is it sterotypes came to be so accurate? Hmmmm?

Gaydar is sometimes simply about an inability to imagine the person with a partner of the opposite sex. Gays and straights can both sense that.

That's bullshit, for me at least gaydar is the once over, the interaction, gay men look at you like straight men never do. Someone pretending it's about stereotypes is the clueless one.

No matter what the mannerisms, no straight guy will react to you the way a gay man will.

........

i could tell usually with gay men by their mannerism, hand gestures how they walk, and facial expressions.

with lesbos or some bi women is the hair style, neon hair coloring or some color of the dam rainbow hand gestures how they walk, clothing, a bit more monotone voice, piercing of the face could help, and the spot on where the tattoos are at.

they are easy to me and gaydar is real

This study is bullshit. It does not even grasp the concept of gaydar if it boils it down to stereotypes.

Gaydar is a instinct, an intuition, a sixth sense that someone is gay.

Once my gaydar has been activated, then I look for the gay stereotypes like gestures, clothing, interests to confirm what my gaydar has told me.

The science of GAYdar

If the study was confined to showing people still pictures of gay-or-straight-or-bi men (were any women shown?), then it's absurd. Still pictures can only capture a small part of what gaydar depends on.

There are all kinds of gaydar. It's why metrosexuals were so confusing to guys whose gaydar was not very finely tuned.

The key, as others have stated, is in the interactions, you pick up a certain vibe, see how they react to certain subtle flirtations, where their eyes go, etc.

You mean all those flaming fags in boys town are really straight?

Who knew?

Sorry boys, he's as straight and butch as I am.

That's the thing R45-- does anyone actually find that guy attractive? Yet we all "know" he's gay because enough gay guys dress like that.

What's the deal? Ditto on the so-trendy-they-look-like-Halloween-costumes outfits?

R30, the woman was sharing a difficult experience with me and never once used a pronoun. If it's a casual thing, that's fine, but this was, to her, a pretty serious situation. She was new to New York City from Texas, had been living with "someone", had broken up with "this person", and "this person" frequently did business with the Texas woman's boss, and was not happy about the breakup. This person also posted on facebook, making cryptic but suggestive comments about her. The whole time this poor girl is telling me about the situation, it's "this person" and "They". She was afraid of it impacting her job, she was afraid of it freaking out her family home in Texas, and she was also having a rough time because she had almost no money save what she was earning at what was probably a $20.00/hour job (yeah, but you try finding your own place in the area on that money).

You really needed a study to know that.

Obviously the gaydar thing is based on stereotypes. When a stereotypical conception about certain group of people is deeply engraved in a person's mind he/she will try to find all those traits in a person to classify him/her as such.

i figured out my gadar was broke years ago

If you suspect somebody is gay, most times you're right. Is this a correct statement?

R50 When it's a man you suspect is gay, yes.

R50 As long as he showed any stereotypical traits, but then you eave a whole bunch of people who don't fall into that category. In such case you're only seeing a small portion.

Stereotypes are not created by some evil committee.

They are either true or they vanish from use.

It seems there is a gay backlash now - the aggressive promotion (and celebration by straights) of Trans; the media giving airtime to Kim Davis types that spurs more on; "academics" like this one undermining basic gay reality and understanding

There isn't really a gay backlash. Folks have moved on and Kim is the exception and not the rule here. Presidential candidates have completely shut up about it

We don't know if there will be more Kim Davis types. The rest that I mentioned at R54 is true.

Gaydar is real, but it's like emotional intelligence or being a good judge of character; not everyone has it. Plenty of people may think they have gaydar when in fact they're just guessing based on stereotypes, but there's definitely a portion of the population that genuinely has that sixth sense. I'm not one of them: I have terrible gaydar and I am generally oblivious or confused when people are sending me those subtle signals. I've gotten better as I've gotten older but it just doesn't come naturally to me.

One of the things I like about DL is that there are ppl on here with good gaydar who've correctly identified closeted celebs (sometimes people I'd never have imagined to be gay) years before they came out or were outed via scandals or blind items. Of course, there are plenty of wishful thinkers on here too.

"the aggressive promotion (and celebration by straights) of Trans'

The same homophobes who celebrate Kim Davis are the ones who hate trans people. Trans people are not a threat to us, homophobes are.

Omg R58, you're going to slammed for that statement on this site.

R57 You admit you have no gaydar, so shut the fuck up about "wishful thinking".

Gaydar = confirmation bias.

Cruising =/= gaydar. Or does it?

Bumpdar

I'm with [R40] all the way And most on this thread. Nobody has great gay dar as well as a homosexual or bi. Especially closet cases. My stepmom was a closet case and a narcissistic sociopath. She was always on the money about gays and other paths. She's dead now but I remember being upset at her claiming kidnapped Elizabeth Smart really ran away. She called it when she saw the 1st videos of Smart on the beach Said she looked "wirery" Of course she said about Ed Smart, "wow that queer certainly had a lot of kids". Well, I recently found a website called The fraudulent Elizabeth Smart Blogspot Well, the old girl was right again It's such a fascinating site. Elizabeth had gone goth so they had to show old images of her at around 12. That's why she never tried to escape. No Stockholm syndrome there Did Oprah really know the truth like she had with Josh Duggar or was she bamboozled again? Like with that million pieces author? Now, that guy pings to the highest of heavens. Let's be real He's a fraud all around We both noticed Elizabeth was knocked up when found Wonder if she had an abortion or went through with it? The Smarts are frauds Even the younger sister who is responsible for an innocent man's death in jail Mary Catherine has the most sociopathic eyes Yuck Go take a look at the site Such a riveting read. Logically, all fits

Gaydar is about non-verbal communication, which is 95% of communication. I think the people who did this study are fundamentalists of the hysterical "straight acting, nobody should be outed until they out themselves" stripe. The deny the centrality of non-verbal communication in the gay male world, and the very real fact that often times people understand more about you than you understand about yourself. The clinging to one's ability to CONTROL what people say about you is actually self-loathing and ridiculous. It is also a huge overestimation of the importance of your "reputation" to everyone else. Nobody takes seriously the things you say about yourself if they are adults and reasonably intelligent. They evaluate you based on what you say, what you do, how you look, their stereotypes and upbringing, and also the little clues you may give out that don't square with the self-presentation. To this day my college roommate thinks I must have had some type of voodoo skill to penetrate his gay sexuality, when the reality is after I came out to him he was semi-hard when he got up every morning, whereas he never had been before. It really wasn't rocket science that I knew he was gay when he insisted he wasn't.

I learned a long time ago to trust my gaydar, which works especially well on the non-obvious. I had crushes as a very young child on, for example, celebrities who were absolutely seen unequivocally as straight and had zero gay stereotyping features. Now I'm an adult - every single one of them I now know is gay.

It's a sixth sense and I love it. We get to have our own gay club that the hets can't join for once. And it's also reassuring to know nature built it in us for a reason...to help us find each other... Go gays!

r66, which celebrities are you talking about?

In ancient times when men who liked men were considered masculine your gaydar would have to be tuned to find those masculine traits. Nowadays, society cosider homosexual men effeminate you have to tune your gaydar to find those effeminate traits.

I'm sure most of the guys who believe in gaydar would be unable to find the gay ones in rugby, bodybuilding, wrestling, etc.

R65 This is a good post. Show me where his eyes go, and I'll show you a gay man.

Gaydar isn't about interests, it's about picking up on what a guy says and doesn't say- his reactions.

Bull. Yes, stereotyping is part of gaydar, but only a part. A big part of it is also seeing who has the body language of a couple, always a dead giveaway, and who's eying or flirting with who.

Remember Annie Proulx's story of how she came to write "Brokeback Mountain"? She was in a bar out in the country, surrounded by cowboys and ranchers. She saw a rugged older man, looking as tough and straight as railroad spike, staring longingly at a handsome young cowboy. Nothing gave him away, but that look of longing.

Gaydar is intuitive/instinctive. It is what you sense/feel - not see/hear. What you see/hear is secondary.

[quote0For about five of them, am I not supposed to automatically know they're gay based on obvious tells?

Garland at Carnegie Hall blaring from behind closed front doors?