Tasteful friends, take a deep breath

What I like:

The bathroom

The black and white curtains in the dining room

The dentist or barber chair

The grounds

The LEDs are too much!

That's not a house, that's karmic retribution for the crimes of a past life.

That house does some things rather well. Strip out all the hideous furniture and its really not so bad. I also like the low maintenance eco friendly front paving.

Love him and hope he does well at MCFC but jfc, my eyes, that house. We call him prissy pants in our home for his adorable running style. Would have hoped he'd better taste for having £160, 000 a week blowing through his account. Is it safe to be assuming him dl? I mean, with his apparent attempts to obfuscate by fathering numerous children and assaulting a previous girlfriend? Anyone had him?

It is simply hideous.

The outside looks like it could be an upscale "fast casual" restaurant... an Olive Garden or a Cheese Cake Factory or something like that. Complete with parking...note that hideous expanse of stones.

The portico at the front is especially horrible.

The interior decor has an Eastern European disco vibe.

The place is just all around awful.

The window drapes and hardware in all the rooms look like they came from Target.

Serious question- why does all new British construction look so cheap? Get past the design choices, the actual constriction and materials used all look like cheap commercial grade. It is as if the house was never intended to last more than 10 years before it is bulldozed and something else is built.

Who lives there? A Persian who plays professional sports?

Did a retarded girlfriend born without a gag reflex decorate for him?

Agree with R7 on the cheap construction; it's Midwestern suburban without having a square state location as an excuse.

Brit real estate flaks call these places "Deluxe Executive Mansions."

There are articles devoted to footballers' bad taste in mansions and decor. Stephen Ireland's is a doozy. Unfortunately, I can't find the best photos.

[quote]The outside looks like it could be an upscale "fast casual" restaurant... an Olive Garden or a Cheese Cake Factory or something like that. Complete with parking...note that hideous expanse of stones.

Yes! It is identical to a macaroni grill, actually.

The kitchen made me laugh the hardest. What is with those lights?? They couldn't turn them off for the photos? Is this the kitchen of the FUTURE?! Can you cook your chicken by putting it next to one of those? Yes - omg, what happens if the cat walks past them?

I didn't read the OP, but I looked at the pictures and thought, 'I bet that was owned by a football player', heh

They're so gaudy. There are loads on rightmove if you look at Alderley Edge and Hale that were clearly football player's houses.

whoever decorated this house should be flogged in public.

Why? Why? Why?

The only thing tackier than black walls is pink walls.

Someone certainly thinks black lacquer is classy!

Or butch.

It looks like expensive trailer park taste. Yuck.

[quote]The outside looks like it could be an upscale "fast casual" restaurant... an Olive Garden or a Cheese Cake Factory or something like that. Complete with parking...note that hideous expanse of stones.

Lmao.

I don't care how tacky the LED lights are. I like them.

The photos no longer come out clear.

I want to hear more about the little girl banished to the attic.

It’s from 2015. The listing is not active.

The listing describes the property as "a truly aspirational home".

It's British, what do you expect?