Serving up this steaming pile of
Celebrity Gossip
Gay Politics
Gay News
and Pointless Bitchery
Since 1995

Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

Fuck Buddies or Lovers: Is there a difference?

If you're regularly fucking someone but have no relationship beyond just the sex, can that person be called your lover or are they just a fuck buddy? Does "lover" automatically imply emotional involvement or can it also mean a purely physical connection and that's it?

Also, speaking of fuck buddies/lovers, do you currently have one and what's your relationship like? Is it just sex or are you also friends?

by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 2105/24/2020

If you are using the word lover (which is a terrible word IMO), it obviously implies a deep emotional connection. You are "making love".

Fuck buddy has a simple connotation. It is someone you have sex with, no commitments, no emotional attachments, you guys just like to meet up so you can get off.

by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 108/14/2015

Also if you are friends, then you are friend with benefits. Someone you first think of as a friend is not a fuckbuddy, they are a buddy that you occasionally fuck, there is a difference.

by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 208/14/2015

"Lover" is so 70's.

I've always thought of "Lover" as creepy ("This is my lover, Dan.")

by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 308/14/2015

I've always wanted to take a lover.

But never could figure out where to put him.

by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 408/14/2015

I don't recommend friends with benefits. It gets way too messy.

This person is your good friend, when of you you starts dating someone else it can be complicated that you guys also have this sexual relationship. Can make the person they are dating jealous and worry about you two hanging out together. Also can ruin a friendship if one person develops feelings (as OFTEN happens) and the other person doesn't feel the same way.

Don't shit where you eat, if someone is a good friend avoid having sex with them IMO.

by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 508/14/2015

Yes I agree, they are different.

Yes I have fuck buddies. No lover at the moment and no bf.

I have had lovers who were not boyfriends.

I had a LTR and we were both allowed fuckbuddies. But my bf's fuckbuddies eventual morphed into lovers.

The challenge was that he didn't easily find a regular rotation of fuckbuddies, and I did. I had too many fuckbudies and he ended up too involved with one lover after another, sometimes get 2 lovers! Lord were we jerks.

Its all so silly really.

After I turned 45 and was single, I set a rule to deny myself the option of fuckbuddies who I KNOW are lying to their partners. This radically limited my options and helped step down the whole merry go round, which I consider to be age appropriate. Instead of the 2 dozen names on my rotation list in my late 30s early 40s, I have perhaps 6 fuck buddies now. I don't see any of them as viable lovers, let alone boyfriends, but we have fun as fuckbuddies and I hope eventually to meet a new bf candidate.

by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 608/14/2015

No a fuck bud is NOT your BF. I thought we figured all that out in the 80s. He can fuck you silly and you love it but sometimes that's all it really is.

by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 708/14/2015

R6, You're a whore, darlin'.

by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 808/14/2015

Yes, there is a difference. A fuck buddy is someone you have sex with but no emotional commitment or relationship ties, and "lover" is a ridiculous word that most people stopped using 40 years ago. People now say "boyfriend" or "partner," or, if they're married, "husband."

by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 908/14/2015

A lover is not a boyfriend or partner, or a fuckbuddy! A lover is like what straight married men have when they have a mistress!

by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 1008/14/2015

What do you call it when one of you is in love, and the other is only a fuckbuddy?

by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 1108/14/2015

R10 is obviously not old enough to know that Lover was the common gay term for boyfriend. Implying, of course, that they weren't just dating, but were having SEX - regardless of whether it was short-term or ongoing.

Fell out of fashion in the 80's.

by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 1208/14/2015

I liked the group Loverboy back in the day. But they now need to rethink those leather pants touring now in their early 60s The whole thing isn't really working

by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 1308/14/2015

Its meaning morphed, dear. It no longer means what it did in your prime.

by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 1408/14/2015

What R12 said. I don't recall any other term than "lover" or "boyfriend," and at that time "lover" implied a more serious relationship than "boyfriend."

by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 1508/14/2015

The word "lover" can be used to describe a casual fuck but it isn't generally used that way.

A fuckbuddy is purely about the sex. No strings, very little emotional involvement, no romantic relationship, no future as a couple.

A lover carries a more romantic, emotional connotation.

by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 1608/14/2015

A "fuck buddy" sometimes i haven't even known their last names so clearly they were not a lover. Such details are just not that important is such an arrangement. Drop those pants and we'll get busy

by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 1708/14/2015

A lover can borrow money, a fuck buddy cannot.

by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 1808/14/2015

"Fuck buddy" is so impersonal.

by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 1905/24/2020


by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 2005/24/2020

Kinda sad that people settle for fuck buddies, rather than being grownups, and having a committed relationship.

by Not Masters or Johnsonreply 2105/24/2020
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Don't you just LOVE clicking on these things on every single site you visit? I know we do! You can thank the EU parliament for making everyone in the world click on these pointless things while changing absolutely nothing. If you are interested you can take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT and we'll set a dreaded cookie to make it go away. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.


Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!