It feels like I have worms

Go fishing?

Dumbass, go to the doctor and give a stool sample. If you have worms they are easily cured, sometimes with just a dose or 2 of meds.

Sitting down on the carpet and rubbing your hole against it helps with the itching.

So, you have a can of worms.

Like the Japanese on Iwo, you have to burn 'em out with a flamethrower.

It's the only way, OP.

Worms love apples, OP.

Tie some twine around an apple, insert, wait overnight, tie other end of twine to a doorknob, slam door.

Viola!

Wormy apple flies out of your ass.

Squat over a mirror. Does it look like this?

Don't try to clear them out with a knife; they'll just regenerate.

Hope I wasn't too late with this advice!!

OP, I forgot to specify Fuji apples - preferably grapples.

If you've shoved a granny smith up your ass, you'll wind up dissapointed. Worms also hate red delicious.

You probably have hemorrhoids, OP.

Just smoke copious amounts of pot, silly!

It's not easy dragging a stool on the the subway.

For the bottoms out there, are anal organisms a real thing and if so are they different from a regular organism?

Your ass worms are triggering R12's stutter, OP!

Fix that shit if only for R12!

Miss Palin, please go see a doctor. Stop bothering us with your petty little problems.

Seriously, we all have worms and parasites in our intestines, and other organs. And they're never beneficial. A good parasite cleanse every 5 years will help restore your health and well being. Those critters deprive us of nutrients and leave toxic wastes in our bodies. There are close to 200 various 'critters' that invade our digestive tract, although we don't have all of them in there at the same time. Pet owners have more than non pet owners. I've used so called 'natural' products, like Black Walnut, Wormwood and Cloves. Also, very hot foods and peppers will help eradicate a lot of parasites

Shave your ass, OP!

Scoot.

Buy some of the Pin X stuff at the link and follow the directions (chewable tablets you swallow - and there's a liquid form of it as well)

Drink 4 ounces of gasoline. Must be midgrade or higher.

Oh and don't pay the ridiculous price for the first two. Get this kind for $13.70

stop reading and go to the hospital.

Sit on a robin.

Fish eat worms. Perhaps you could try inserting a cod or an orange roughy.

Avoid the freezer aisle. Ask your fishmonger for help.

I hear the Susan Richardson troll has had worms since 1979. Perhaps you can summon that demon for advice?

You rang?

Well played Suz, well played...

You may have pin worms. We had them as kids on the farm. (tiny little white worms, yes, in your bum hole) (Yea, cue the laugh track) Go see your doctor

OP, what exactly does a worms-in-my-ass sensation feel like?

You probably just have a spastic colon. Lay off the fats and spicy food for a while. You would have an itchy anus right before bed, at night, if you had pinworms.

Sucks if you do because no one likes uninvited guests but on the bright side, it's probably really helped you keep your weight down!

Drink a couple of containers of Drano - it will clear you right out.

It's like eating a spoonful of Drano. Sure it'll clean you out, but it leaves you hollow inside...

Don't listen to the crazed Draino brigade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This thread is making me so horny

Shove a lit firecracker up your poo-hole.

See a proctologist. It's not anything strange to them.

It's normal

Uh huh, OP. Like you didn't shove something full of worms up there.

Ride on the Bait Bus.

Why'd you take the bait, r39?

It could be HPV OP

[bold]FUCKING KILL YOURSELF TO RID THE WORLD OF THE PIECE OF SHIT BUMP TROLL, R38[/bold]

[bold]FUCKING KILL YOURSELF TO RID THE WORLD OF THE PIECE OF SHIT BUMP TROLL, R38[/bold]

[bold]FUCKING KILL YOURSELF TO RID THE WORLD OF THE PIECE OF SHIT BUMP TROLL, R38[/bold]

[bold]FUCKING KILL YOURSELF TO RID THE WORLD OF THE PIECE OF SHIT BUMP TROLL, R38[/bold]

[bold]FUCKING KILL YOURSELF TO RID THE WORLD OF THE PIECE OF SHIT BUMP TROLL, R38[/bold]

[bold]FUCKING KILL YOURSELF TO RID THE WORLD OF THE PIECE OF SHIT BUMP TROLL, R38[/bold]

[bold]FUCKING KILL YOURSELF TO RID THE WORLD OF THE PIECE OF SHIT BUMP TROLL, R38[/bold]

[bold]FUCKING KILL YOURSELF TO RID THE WORLD OF THE PIECE OF SHIT BUMP TROLL, R38[/bold]

[bold]FUCKING KILL YOURSELF TO RID THE WORLD OF THE PIECE OF SHIT BUMP TROLL, R38[/bold]