How would the 2016 presidential election race be different if Joan Crawford was a candidate?

I'd yell at her for her crummy dancin'.

She'd get the disabled vote.

Joan: I will MOVE the TREE!

They wouldn't have a speck of dirt on me!

I'd mock her movies

We'd still be talking about back alley abortions.

Joan is ready for the three o'clock call.

I'm not running for president

r8

But you AHR Joan, you AHR

There would have been an empty spot at one of the podiums because SHE'S DEAD.

She'd push for behavioral testing of little blond girl adoptees.

If she ran and WON:

Today (Joan Crawford Day on TCM) would be a national holiday.

There would be a candy jar on her desk in the Oval Office filled with Red Weirdos

Her first speech to a joint session of Congress would begin "Don't fuck with me, fellas!"

One part Smirnoff Hundred Proof Vodka and two parts Diet Pepsi straight up in a flask would be the official campaign cocktail.

Coke machines in the White House removed.

She would be a ConservaDem and win Texas while losing New York. (Okay! I'm bullshitting [italic] there[/italic].)

The Inauguration Ball would be held at Perrino's!

If she won .... lots of "First Uncles."

You already know what she'd tell the other candidates not to do.

She would blanch at the treatment of the disabled.

I don't think America is ready for another black president so soon.

Joan would hold rallies in every single state and talk to the people. There would of course be certain demands regarding accommodation for a star of the first magnitude, and the Democratic Party would of course be asked to foot the bill.

She would tear down that BITCH of a bearing wall, and put job opportunities where they OUGHT to be!

We'd have a candidate that DL could enthusiastically support!

(Love R19!)

She would clearly have no faith in the Christina vote.

By now she'd be wearing Donald Trump's asshole for a garter.

Oh, dear OP.

Free Pepsi for all

"But ya ARE losin' the election, Joan! Ya are!"