Are you an exclusive top or bottom?

[quote]Are you an exclusive top or bottom?

No, I'm an ELUSIVE one.

This was a documentary clip op? Porn?

I feel like you learned about human life through some scan of the Internet which was uploaded to your brain. There is something botlike.

Oh, Lol, R2.

Well, I *can* top.

I'm mostly top. I love to get all horned up, the get my partner all horned up, mostly by sucking him while I'm playing with his butt, then climb up on top of him and mount him. (Wearing a condom, by the way.)

I love to see the look in his eye when I'm in him. Very hot. Love to make him cum while I fuck him. Even hotter.

I can be versatile, but only with a man I feel special chemistry with. That hasn't happened very often. It's been my experience that most men in general, and gay men in particular, don't know how to make love to a man; they just climb up on him and pound away.

Not my style at all, not by one iota....

Top, exclusively.

Exclusive tops aren't man enough to take a cock up their ass.

Exclusive bottoms are too needy.

Be versatile or get out.

I prefer to top, but I am versatile and could only get serious with someone that feels the same way.

I know what I like, but variety is the spice of life, I don't understand people who don't feel the same. I mean you only live once, enjoy everything.

I loathe an "exclusive top" who refuses to suck a dick or have his ass played with. Next!

No, but I'm from the most exclusive and restricted part of Connecticut!

Not exclusive but mostly a top. There have only been a couple of guys i've really enjoyed btming with and they were just good bods all tops and could back it up.

R9 i actually don't agree with you on that depending on the guy. I've been with a couple of guys like that as fuck buds over the years and they were both great fucking sex. Hot as hell. passionate great kissers, dominate yet sexy and playful going at it ( not an uptight asshole about it) and loved munching on ass. With those two it just wasn't a big deal they were not that into sucking cock. No issues what so ever getting off with either of them since they were just fucking great at what the did so the getting off took care of itself. Now could i have been in a relationship with someone that never got fucked or sucked dick no probably not. For great play buds it was great and they more than did their part for what it was

Op your post reminded me of this gay scene from the tv show Sirens.

A top can always chose to be a bottom, even if he doesn't enjoy it. It may hurt, but he can still do it. However, a bottom can only be a top if he enjoys it -- i.e., he has to be aroused and get (and stay) hard to perform as a top.

I'm an exclusive top, I hate getting fucked.

I'm orally versatile but I'm otherwise a top, I just don't like having my ass messed with, even rimming doesn't do anything for me.

same as r14. I have never wanted anything up my ass. I'm glad other guys do though.

Boring

R17 = gaping hole.

exclusive anyone is boring. that doesn't make me a gaping hole, sorry, charlie.

No It's all those dicks you take make you a gaping hole.lol

Who'd have thought a gay gossip and bitching site would attract so many tops.

LOL@r21. Oh there are bitchy tops out there no doubt.

Bottom here. Love to get fucked.

EVERYONE is a bottom when a large enough sizemeat is presented!

exclusive bottom

That really isn't true R24. In fact most guys who aren't that comfortable bottoming are FOR SURE not going to be able to let some guy with a horse cock fuck them.

Have you talked to guys with big meat? They always run into the problem of some people not being able to take it.

Bingo R26. I'm generally not much of btm myself and it DEFINITELY isn't happening with a truly big one. Discovered they are pretty to look at but in the end not that practical. Start going beyond 7ish it starts having a negative effect on the sex most times. A lot of truly big dick guys would prefer to be a bit smaller. Can get deep throated and gay or str8 fucking your partner can get problematic. I have a str8 buddy with this huge one and it's more a negative for his sex life than a positive. Has to wear this inflatable donut thing to fuck his wife to limit penetration. The thrill of being the biggest in the locker room passes pretty quickly..i suppose especially if you're str8. He's funny..complains he's never been able to ever let loose and "porn fuck" his wife silly or most other women he's been with. Forget great head.

I seek out small cocks to fuck me

I've had lower bowel issues since I was a small child so the idea of letting someone stick their cock up there is terrifying to me.

Fie on this! I am a top/frustrated bottom! First of all, I live in NYC -- City of Bottoms -- and, to be honest, I have a pretty good dick so it was pre-destined. But not being able to be versatile drives me nuts. Don't get me wrong, I love a nice ass, to eat and screw, but I feel like a good fuck is a kind of rite of passage I haven't had the pleasure of experiencing. (and its all so worked up and conflated in my mind I am sure the experience will hardly shoot fireworks)

Last night I sucked a nice one, and he came in my mouth. It was like a vacation!

[quote]Last night I sucked a nice one, and he came in my mouth. It was like a vacation!

Geez! Who is your travel agent?

True R30 NYC is a city full of btms..which i generally loved that about it since it's rare i have the urge to btm. Your thoughts remind of me of this great fuck bud i had in the city for a good year or so. Dude was hot as hell probably a 8-9 and big dick and this great ass. I'm much more a great guy than a big dick guy so of course it was his ass i was drawn to as we started going at it. That REALLY turned him on that i was going for his ass and not his dick. Turns out he's versatile but it was pretty rare he was with a guy that was all about getting that great ass so he went wild getting rimmed and screwed silly. Had some great sex together over that year and he really didn't care if even sucked his dick or not. He got the fucking he was after so i did my part in the whole deal

Why does it seem like total bottoms are super slutty?

A very wise sister once said:

"There are two types of homosexuals - size queens and liars"

I'm a total top where it comes to fucking but I love to suck cock, so nothing frustrates me more than bottoms who say they could never be with a top unless he would be "completely uninterested" in their dick and focus solely on their hole. Excuse me?? Sorry but part of being gay means I like dick and part of the joy of gay sex is sucking a nice, thick, hard cock.

If all I wanted was a hole, I'd go fuck women.

I really enjoy sucking dick but I've never really been super interested in anal even as a top.

R36 sometimes it's all in meeting the right person to get into anal.

I'd like to experience a great prostrate-stimulated orgasm...

I am a bottom who hates to get fucked.

I grew up in the 80's so it was always drummed into me that anal sex was dangerous and that can be kind of difficult to let go of.

PREACH r35. Nothing annoys me more than bottoms that act like they don't have a dick. Seriously? We are men here. Of course I want to play with your dick.

But yes, there is a certain subset of total bottoms that just want to suck and get fucked, and don't want you to touch their penis. Can't deal with that shit.

I've been fucked a few times. It's not bad. I've only gotten to the "see Jesus" place once, though. I think it has something to do with size or curve. Not sure. Anyway, I find topping in and of itself not as good of an orgasm as getting myself off after a long session, for the most part. What turns me on is watching what my dick can do for a bottom – or to put it crudely, fucking the cum out of him.

Lot of R42 I've found if you're usually a top like me when comes to bottoming is the guy you're with. I've been with 3 guys in 20+ years where i really enjoyed btming for All 3 had decent sized but not huge and with the exception of one them even what you'd call big dicks( he was an extra wide one) by any means. They were just really great at rimming naturally very dominate, great bods, and knew how to fuck a guy to drive him crazy and had tons of stamina. It was kinda the whole package had to be there to really get into bottoming. All 3 of them made me a better top i have to say given their skill and love of fucking i learned from. One in particular was an AMAZING top and really did have to be that good for me to say that. Just one of those guys i think born for it and could turn most guys into a btm he's so good.

[quote] A very wise sister once said: "There are two types of homosexuals - size queens and liars"

Corollary: "There are only two kinds of men I hate: size queens and men with small dicks."

[quote]I'm a total top where it comes to fucking but I love to suck cock, so nothing frustrates me more than bottoms who say they could never be with a top unless he would be "completely uninterested" in their dick and focus solely on their hole.

I 'm a bottom who has been guilty of that a few times, so just to give you the bottom's POV on that -- it's not that he minds a top being interested in his cock, but it makes a bottom suspicious that the top is not really a top. If the interest comes during the middle of playing around, it's fine, but when the focus on the cock comes at the very beginning, it makes it seem like the top is only a top if he "has" to be, and he's really much more interested in sucking cock.

For me ( as usually the top) sucking cock for me very much has depended upon the particular guy i was with, my mood, the vibe, and the particular situation. There are times i'm really into sucking the guys cock other times i'm exclusively all about that ass. Mixing things up is a big part of keeping sex hot. Definitely have those moods where it's yank those pants down bend him over and get to fucking. Other times it can be a lot more involved. Always predictable get's boring.

[quote]I've had lower bowel issues since I was a small child so the idea of letting someone stick their cock up there is terrifying to me.

Little Lord Fartleroy.

[quote]but it makes a bottom suspicious that the top is not really a top

you're a sick puppy

Suspicion that the guy topping you isn't "really" a top, wtf do you care?

[quote] but when the focus on the cock comes at the very beginning, it makes it seem like the top is only a top if he "has" to be, and he's really much more interested in sucking cock.

This makes no sense to me. Liking to top and liking to suck dick are not mutually exclusive dude. It isn't one or the other.

I swear, obsessive total bottoms are so fucking weird.

r45 = Caitlyn Jenner

JK, I love me a total bottom..... but that focus suggests there's more at play than the physical act of sex.

How much does thinking about what the top is or might be reflect on what you think you are or wish to be?

I'm more codependent; I'm anything you need as long as you look like Howie Long or Mitch Pileggi or have a little hair on your back or wear glasses or you're climbably tall.

Nice

I'm just exclusive

Exit only

entrance only

LOL at the idea Dataloungers are mostly tops. Why is it people here respond to these sex questions with the most obviously fake answers?

I'm neither, as am into mutual cocksucking.

I hear you r40. I'm bi and in my teens I only had fucked girls. In college during the 80's I let myself finally see what my attraction to guys was all about but then AIDS happened and it's a struggle to let go and enjoy anal.

Total top

Well R50, liking to bottom and not liking to receive oral are also not mutually exclusive. Jesus people, some people like some things, others prefer other things. Get over it. I'm a bottom who doesn't like oral because it does nothing for me. It makes me lose my erection and it doesn't feel good. It has nothing to do with total bottom/total top issues. It doesn't have anything to do with the upthread poster who says focus on the cock makes him suspicious, at least not for me. But as a bottom, I'd much rather have my ass played with than my cock played with. If that comes first, I get really hard, then it's fun to have my cock played with, but not sucked.

Some people just don't like to receive oral. I've even run into tops who don't like it. Some don't like to give it either. We all have our things that turn us on. I've never felt like someone *had* to like a certain something. I even really like sucking cock, but if some top says he really doesn't like it, I'm not going to make a big deal out of it. I just find out what turns us both on and go about enjoying that.

Interesting

I am an exclusive top. It's just what I like, and I did try to bottom a few times when I was in my 20s.

I thought I was dying, there was NOTHING pleasurable about it at all to me.

[quote]dominate yet sexy and playful going at it...

Here we have the one MILLIONTH gay who thinks that "dominate" (a verb) and "dominant" (an adjective) are the same word!

LADIES! You mean "DOMINANT"!!!

I always wonder if they try to pronounce it in a slightly different (and wrong) manner to indicate the meaning?

Top....

I find something weird and off-putting about exclusive tops/bottoms - I might get with one for a one-off but it'd never work long-term. I'm lucky - bf dicks me down just as well and just as happily as he takes a dick. Oral, anal, giving, receiving - it's all way too much fun to leave any of them off the table. The total top/bottom thing seems to be a very north american, very hetero-normative way to look at gay sex. Fortunately, most guys I've encountered are versatile.

I'm a total bottom but I'm not exclusive. We have an open relationship.

R66, what the hell are you talking about. Throughout human history and in most cultures today, the large Majority of male-male sexual interactions have been divided between rigid roles of active versus passive. Only recently and in White Western cultures is there widespread versatility. Today, in most of Latin American, Middle Eastern, African, and Desi cultures, men are largely strictly top or strictly bottom.

Yes, both.

Researchers find that in more conservative societies with more rigid patriarchal gender roles, people divide more clearly into top/bottom roles, with the penetrated partners often being the ones seen as really gay. In more secular and liberal societies, where there's more freedom to reject rigid gender roles, men who identify as vers tend to outnumber those who exclusively choose one role over another. Every contemporary research study of gay male sex roles in western democracies shows men who identify as vers outnumbering exclusive top/bottoms.

A CDC study published in the Journal of Sexual Research in 2003 found self-identified 'tops' are more likely to manifest signs of internalized homophobia and also found that versatiles seem to enjoy better psychological health and a greater degree of comfort with a variety of roles and activities.

David Moskowitz has published some interesting research re gay men and sex roles.

Correspondingly, even in western countries, men of color are more likely to be strictly top or strictly bottom than white men.

Depends on my mood.

Versatile and I prefer versatile partners too.

All of it, please. Kissing, mutual removal of clothing, mutual nipple stimulation, mutual deep-throating, mutual anal.

R68 Except this is exactly heteronormativity at work, not some sort of sacred gay tradition.

"Just saw a video clip, where two men were bottoms and neither of them wanted to top, so they ended up walking away. "

So there you were at your job, monitoring the men's changing rooms at Target....

Just kidding. That's not a real job. Not at Target anyway.

It was your own personal surveillance equipment. You know a guy who works at a spy store and he "understands" your needs.

I think there was a story about you on that Law & Order show with all the creepy sex stuff on it. You know, the one with the bodybuilder's daughter? I think Taylor Swift wanted to bang her.

I'm a top, a total top, but that doesn't mean I never tried bottoming. Early on, I tried it a handful of times and hated it. It feels like someone is stabbing you in the guts. I kept thinking, 'Who the fuck likes this?'

Being a total top just means you don't like to bottom or suck dick. it does not mean you think bottoms are weak, inferior, less than, or the girls in the relationship. It doesn't mean you're afraid to try bottoming or that you are insecure in your masculinity. All it means is that you don't like bottoming or sucking dick. In fact, most exclusive tops have tried it and that is how they know they don't like it.

The only caveat is I was in a long-term relationship with someone I deeply loved and once in a blue moon, they would really, really want me to suck their dick. Because I loved that person, I was willing to do it on those rare ocassions, though I've been told I suck at sucking dick. Probably the lack of practice or enjoyment on my part. At least sucking dick doesn't cause intense lasting pain in your guts.

But please, stop this myth that exclusive tops think they are "better" than bottoms. I respect the hell out of bottoms. A.) They make my dick feel good and B.) Their pain thresholds are impressive as fuck. Also, they put in a lot of the work, keeping themselves clean in there, etc. You gotta respect that.

I just don't get the whole 'tops' are only 'tops' because they are internally homophobic BS. Is it really so hard to believe that someone likes something different than you?

Defensive much, r77? Bottoming has been painful for you because you aren't psychologically comfortable with the idea of being penetrated. Unless you think 'tops' have some special type of asshole that just can't be fucked, the only difference between you and a guy who enjoys the sensation is attitude. Why don't you like sucking dick? Does that hurt too? You clearly have some internalized homophobia but do keep protesting that you don't

I’m exclusively Bitch

I’m lazy so I like my cock and ass sucked and I like to get fucked. Topping is too much work

As opposed to being an INclusive top or bottom?

I’m a top. Sorry queer theorists or wtf you are, you don’t get to define what I do in bed for me so stfu. I FUCK. I have a big cock, and I bang it out with my bottom buds for 2-5 hours at a time. I’ve gone from being a vanilla top to service top to daddy to dom over the years.

I wasn’t happy as a boring as vanilla top. I tried bottoming. It was fine but it didn’t get me off. But dom? That does it for me and it does it for the guys I’m with.

yes!

I bottomed as a young lad. I thought I had to with an older guy. I really have been a top for years. I love a great ass and most of my boyfriends had that and were insatialable bottoms. So mush fun

R78 I simply do not like it. For example, why aren't you into *insert thing you're not into*?

As for my supposed "internalized homophobia." I am on the board of one of the largest LGBTQ organizations in America. Something I have dedicated nearly a decade of my life to. I am a published LGBTQ author and I am appearing on-stage at an LGBTQ event this weekend.

The idea that a top must harbor deep-seated homophobia is an idea born from ignorance.

Noone's said that tops "must" harbor deep-seated homophobia, but research (not ignorance - research) has shown that self-identified 'tops' manifest more signs of internalized homophobia. The reasons you list as to why you 'respect the hell out of bottoms' show what a sad and limited view of human sexuality you subscribe to. But you do you, doll.

I identify as a top but honestly, I'm not into anal at all.

R86 What about self-identified exclusive bottoms? I always thought it was kind of strange not to use your cock at all. Like, do you imagine yourself a woman? This is your genitalia, use it for pleasure once in a while.

Versatile and I seek out versatile partners. I enjoy what two men can do with each others poles and holes. Flip-fucking is the best!

R86

Yes, you did say tops "must" harbor deep-seated homophobia.

The reasons your R78 post says this are:

All you knew about me when you wrote your post was that I bottomed multiple times before concluding I did not like it and preferred to top instead.

From that, your first instinct, before getting to know another thing about me, was to state the following:

"You clearly have some internalized homophobia."

You also stated: "Bottoming has been painful for you because you aren't psychologically comfortable with the idea of being penetrated."

With that statement, you expressed the conclusion that "psychological issues" are the only possible reason I felt more pain than pleasure when I bottomed.

You never once stopped to consider the scientific FACT that prostates vary in size and location, some gay men prefer not to have anal sex from either position, and some straight men like being pegged by women.

You then threw out a strawman fallacy about oral sex. Despite my post stating that I DO perform oral sex when with a partner I love and care about because it is something they want, you implied that "internalized homophobia" is the only rational reason I don't ENJOY performing oral sex.

In doing this, you ignored the fact that some straight women do not ENJOY performing oral sex. (I'm guessing they have internalized heterophobia?)

You even went so far as to say the ONLY difference between me (a top) and someone who enjoys bottoming (a bottom) is our "attitude" about it. You both implicitly and explicitly stated that my sexual experience is, in fact, not my own and not valid because I would have enjoyed the experience had my "attitude" been different. By that logic, someone could argue I'm not really gay, I just have a bad "attitude" about sex with women.

And before you twist that into me claiming to be straight, I assure you, I'm gay. Not a little bit gay. Not even gayer than Christmas gay. I'm gayer than Halloween. I do gay for a living.

It speaks volumes that, on top of everything else, you never stopped to contemplate why a person with "internalized homophobia" and "psychological issues" about bottoming would bottom multiple times before deciding which position they prefer. If I had "internalized homophobia" and "psychological issues" about bottoming, I wouldn't have bottomed in the first place.

As a result, in a display of shallow empathetic intelligence, you disregarded any valid reason I might not like bottoming and replaced it with "you clearly have some internalized homophobia."

If in your mind, as you demonstrated, all it takes to "clearly have some internalized homophobia" is to be a top, then that is you stating tops "must" harbor internalized homophobia. For you to argue otherwise would be intellectually dishonest.

And before you say something like 'Doll, it's not that deep.' Yes, it is. When you question someone's sexual experience, tell them it is not valid, and accuse them of being innately homophobic because of that experience, that's deeper than deep. That's so deep you have to look up just to see hell.

R90 I’m not R86 but now I know why you’re on the LGBTQ board.

r86 what research? actual, peer reviewed, published research.

exclusive anything means you're closed minded and boring. No thanks. Versatility is where it's at. Can't stand people who are stuck in 'roles' during sex - so limiting and immature.

r93 thank heavens you’re so nonjudgemental about other peoples sexual preferences.

I guess I'm an exclusive top, but only because I've never been able to bottom. I feel like I've missed out on a lot because of that, but I can at least say I did give it several tries before realizing it wasn't for me. I was lucky that the guy I fell for only wanted to bottom, so it worked out just fine.

R90 doesn't like dick in his mouth or ass, but he "respects the hell" out of bottoms because a) they make his dick feel good, and b) they must have high-pain tolerance (according to r90, being penetrated is totes painful). He also respects the amount of work bottoms put in keeping their asses clean for him. But don't you DARE suggest r90 has any internalized homophobia! How very dare you!

R90 sounds hot to me, and R96 sounds like a jealous drama queen. I would let R90 fuck me.