Guys who follow you around the gym

I usually take my bottle of eater and gently pour it down my back and rub it across my chest, while loudly saying: "People just do not understand how HARD it is to be so, good-looking. Everyone makes demands on you, sniff around you like dogs in heat. It's soooo exhausting being so hot."

Then I slap my ass, wink and when he looks at with hope, I make a big deal of pretending to be wiping something out of my eye.

R1 [water] not eater. OOPs.

It is not just goodlooking guys who get the gym stalkers. There is an odd breed at the gym that fixates on others.

I'm not at all attractive. I should have said that in my post. So, let's not derail the thread with anger at good looking guys and keep on topic.

Thanks.

Am I the only one who loves gym stalkers? As long as they aren't climbing in my window at night, whatever. Enjoy!

R4 Obviously, you're attractive to Mr. Gym Stalker. Maybe the real problem is that your self-esteem is too low.

it's never happened to me, I stay by myself and ignore every one else, so maybe that is why.

No I am not attractive. Believe me. My gym stalker calls me homophobic slurs to me and other members about me. Also other gay members. He is not interested in me.

This never happened.

R8 Well, he is interested in you, obviously but hopefully his confusion over his interest won't result in violence. Do you feel genuinely threatened?

Sounds deranged

R8 So, he follows you around, watches you all of the time, talks about you constantly to all, te others guys, gay and straight but he's "not interested".

Do you change out of your Amish garb before lifting or afterward?

you silly nelly queens need to STFU and contact gym management, not the DL. god, can some of you idiots even wipe your own butts without help?

Why don't you start watching him back?

R13 I am not against helping OP wipe his butt but he does need to stand up for himself. It depends on whether he feels genuinely threatened or just uncomfortable.

Funny you posted this, OP. My friend was just telling me a couple weeks ago about some guy who's been following him around in his gym. He says it's very annoying and very creepy.

It is, R16. It's both R15.

Honestly, I love my gym stalkers. I think I'd feel a little down if they stopped salivating over me.

Alpha up and stare him down, OP. He wanted your attention? Give it to him. That's what I do when a man fixates and tries to be menacing: "Okay, you have my undivided attention, as you so clearly wanted. What do you want?"

He might have 'roid rage and you're giving off gay pheromones that are confusing him. He's just a little more sensitive to them because of all the 'roids.

Fine. Do his friends seem normal? Do you share any friends you could mention this to? Tell management if you are genuinely in fear for your life.

If you can't find the right words, or don't want to have a verbal confrontation, write on a card that he should stop staring/following you.... or else. Or act crazy - start talking to yourself whenever he gets near. Say words like "hit, bludgeon, cannibal, murder, kill, decapitate".

OP trust your gut. If you feel uncomfortable then you need to take these steps.

Step one: next time he starts being wierd, stop what you are doing, and the the presence of other gym members (very important) you approach him and say : 'I've noticed you seem to take a lot of interest in my movements when I'm here, and I need to tell you now - it makes me very uncomfortable. I want to work out in peace, and if you won't allow me to do that, I will bring the matter up with the gym management'.

If he continues, you go to gym management with the date and time that you made your request to him that he leave you in peace. You also tell management this man has made homophobic slurs that make you feel demeaned and threatened.

If they don't remove him, get a lawyer. It's the gym's problem after you have taken these steps.

R22 I don't see why OP doesn't start invading HIS physical space. That's what I'd do. Mess with the bull, get the horns.

Wear an "NRA" t-shirt.

R24 approaching an aggressive oddball who has poor social boundaries in a confrontational way is not advisable. OP needs to made a reasonable, calm, request in the presence of others to be left in peace. Once only - then he goes to management.

R26 Speak for yourself. You can't back down to some guys or they'll just get weirder.

R26 He needs to make aggressive eye- contact. Just look the guy in the eyes and see if an understanding can't be made that way.

Man up. Punch him in the face. Then join another gym

R29 Hot.

Wait till he's staring, then pick your nose and eat it.

R31 I don't know, the guy is kind of a weirdo. It might be the one fetish act that really sets him off.

Don't be such a wuss, OP. When you see him alone, move closer and say "How are things in your closet today?" When you're alone in a shower or sauna area, grope yourself and say, "Like what you see?" If he reports you, deny, deny, deny. Grow a pair, OP.

IT'S THE MIRROR, YOU STUPID CUNT!

"Shoo! Shoo, you horrid, beastly troll! I am not for the likes of you!"

Flaunt. When in doubt, flaunt it.

Be aware when you go to and from the gym especially at night.

They're not all necessarily homophobes. Many call themselves straight men, but they'd really like to dabble in the "forbidden."

Or, "diddle" in the forbidden. 😜

OP, he might be mesmerized by the bright colors of your workout caftan, following you about like a cat chasing a toy. Or he might be a harassing stalker, following you about like Jeffrey Dahmer chasing a Thai 14-year old. It's hard to tell without pictures and better re-enactments.

What do you do? I hate to see people cave in these situations (that is, you quitting the gym). But if he's dangerous and you value your life, then do what you must.

I'd handle it like this: Tell the gym's manager that you are having a problem with a guy following you and making frightening comments under his breath. Tell the manager you'd like to handle this on your own, this one time, but if there are further issues, you'd like their assistance. Then calmly tell the harasser, avoiding most eye contact, that you are sorry that you bug him somehow, but you'd like him to stop following you around. You are being meek here not because you're a wimp, but because you're avoiding escalation. This is not the time for humor, sarcasm, or anger, or for making any negative characterizations of his behavior, weird as it is.

That is all you say. Tell him thanks, and walk away. Whatever his reaction to your statement is, ignore it. Do this in a very public place. If he continues any harassment, talk to management again, asking them what they can do to help you. If they don't respond, I'd at least contact the police and request to make a report, and I'd contact the gym's corporate management if there is any. This behavior is illegal in many places.

Or, you can follow it up the way I did a guy who stalked me at the ASU gym. He made weird grimacing faces and was often too close for coincidence. He wouldn't make eye contact most of the time. I started by nodding acknowledgement. Some days later I said "sup?" He nodded. Not long after that, he was waiting outside the gym. I sat down nearby and gestured him over. We talked. He was a Marine, was in one of my classes - I hadn't noticed him there as it was a large class and he skipped a lot of them I suspect. He needed a tutor. I tutored him.

We watched basketball games, drank beers, smoked up a few times. Eventually he expressed his curiosity about blowjobs - giving, not receiving them. We had sex, I remember I shoved a Bud Light bottle neck up his ass. He told his mother, who telephoned me asking about who was turning her son out and asking me to stop because she wanted him to get married and make her grandchildren, which was perhaps the most surprising part of this story to me.

[quote]He told his mother,

That must have been an interesting conversation R39. "Hey Mom! Can I borrow your vibrating dildo? A friend just fucked me with a beer bottle and it really felt good. I'd like to take it up a notich."

I was just going to start a thread about how people who tell me I'm hot are so annoying!!!!

R41 So hot.

I once had a gym stalker. Followed me around the gym while working out and especially liked to watch while I got dressed after showering.

This happened a couple of times and I enjoyed putting on a show for him. Finally, I asked him if he would like to get together outside the gym. He refused and I never saw or heard from the guy ever again.

I think a lot of the people who take offense to this thread must be gym stalkers. Now, I read on other fitness forums about this same thing, and of course, there's a lot of gay bashing, so, maybe my stalker is some creepy closet-case.

R43 See, this is a fine response. If a guy wants to get all hot and bothered over me and not even attempt to do anything about it, there's nothing I can do but continue going about my life, being a sexy beast.

R44 I do not take offense to this thread and I'm not a gym stalker.

"I've noticed you taking a fervent interest in my thighs. Would you like to feel them, for educational purposes?"

Are you obese? Maybe he's curious as to why you are even bothering with the gym.

Nobody else has ever had a gym stalker? I'm curious how you handled it. I confronted him and reported him to management. But, that didn't work.

[quote]so, maybe my stalker is some creepy closet-case.

What took you so long to figure this out?

While I have been cruised and cruised hundreds of guys over the years at gyms in NYC (since 1975) I have never been stalked in a gym such as is being describe here. Nor do I know of it among my friends. As for the cruising- never has it offended me or another to my knowledge.

If you are really being stalked by what sound like some homophobic creep- report it to management, and otherwise ignore him. If they refuse to do something about it- tell them you are joining another gym.

Silverside fish follow sharks around from behind their tails, so they're always out of their line of sight. I suggest always following him around from behind and when you're in the locker room, together, get uncomfortably close to him and smell his hair.

R52 Sorry, I meant Lookdown fish.

I've had dudes watch me, but never in a creepy way. One time, a very well-muscled guy caught me looking at him while he trained, and smiled, "See something you like?"

I explained that while he was handsome, I figured the best example was to watch those who trained correctly with obvious results. He then volunteered to show me proper alignment, and we worked out together that day and for several more weeks.

Thanks R23 and R24. Good advice.

I mean R26.

I think most DL posters are the ones doing the following.