What causes Social Awkwardness?

People usually refer to me as both quirky & hilarious and when I tell them I'm shy, they don't believe me. While it is just me being me, it's also my way of masking my awkwardness. I am not a loser.

There is a difference between being socially awkward of introverted and being a "loser."

One of your problems is your incessant need to compare yourself to others and obsess over every single little thing. I seriously hope you devote as much time & energy to nursing as you do obsessing.

*or introverted

Social anxiety. It's weird. I started taking meds for it (paxil) because I was fed up with being nervous and scared for no reason. The meds worked. It's like a whole new me. Just addicted to meds now.

OP is on a level beyond social anxiety, R3.

Stop stalking people.

Find healthy ways to fill your time instead of obsessing.

Choose a career path other than nursing since you hate it so much.

Find a good therapy group, you'd probably benefit from talking to people with similar problems in real life.

Look into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Stop making excuses for not being in therapy, if you really want to change, do something about it.

That's interesting r3, what are changes you see in yourself with Paxil? I saw those ads & always figured it was bullshit.

R4, CBT doesn't really work for social awkwardness, it only works for depression.

[R5], I started taking it in grad school because the nervousness made me withdraw and kept me from participating. I was really self-conscious about sounding stupid or having people judge me. After I started paxil, those worries/anxieties just melted away. It was like a boost of self-confidence, where you just say to yourself I don't give a shit what other people think. I became more outgoing and I think it's just improved my life a lot. I've cut back on my dosage a lot since I started and was off of it for awhile, too. Just be aware, if you want to get off paxil, the side-effects are awful so you have to slowly reduce your dosage over months.

Program/Resale Troll, people.

Bill Gates is the richest man on the planet and an introvert and socially awkward, I doubt anyone would classify him as a loser!

You know what's awkward? Starting three or more threads about this subject, P/M/BR troll.

I hate everybody. 😠

Behavioral therapy and biofeedback are not as effective as once believed to be . If you're lucky, you have a doctor who is honest enough to share that with you, and recommend other options.

Big, clumsy feet and a small Dick.

People who aren't properly socialized as children develop social anxiety.

Micro peen

For me it was years of childhood bullying and a typical case of desperate-to-fit-in-but-never-could-because-I-was-an-in-the-closet-homo garden-variety trauma. Meds have helped some but nowadays I’m contented to have a few close friendships but day-to-day I’m pretty much a loner. And life is just easier that way.

I've been a bit shy and suffered from social anxiety since I can remember. Never liked hugs and being introduced to adults as a kid. However, if you were to see me with my closest friends or in my comfort zone, you'd never know it. I think anxiety does something to the brain where you perceive everything and everyone as a potential threat until they prove otherwise. I always wonder what someone wants from me if they start talking to me for no reason. It's just how my brain works.

After meeting my friend group in college, I realized I was good enough to be loved and, as the years have gone on, I've had more of a "fuck it" attitude about people. If they want to be my friends, great. If they don't, fuck 'em. Not everyone has to be your friend and you don't have to be everyone's favorite person either. Just try not to hurt anyone deliberately and you're doing ok.

I will say that there have been positive things to my anxiety. It always keeps me on my toes, so I feel like I can sense threats easier and I feel that my intuition is operating at a higher frequency than others without anxiety. If I was in a scary movie, I'd be the character who tells their friends "there's something spooky about this place." It makes you always expect the worst so you're prepared for it more. It's helped this year a lot. I feel like most people without anxiety finally know what it feels like to be me every day.

[quote]After meeting my friend group in college, I realized I was good enough to be loved and, as the years have gone on, I've had more of a "fuck it" attitude about people. If they want to be my friends, great. If they don't, fuck 'em. Not everyone has to be your friend and you don't have to be everyone's favorite person either. Just try not to hurt anyone deliberately and you're doing ok.

Awww, I'm so happy you overcame it, R17!

Being constantly put down by my family growing up which led me to withdraw into myself at school. I had no friendships. I never felt worthy of love and this was reinforced by my homelife. Now, I'm a loner and find it very difficult to feel comfortable in social situations. I hate being one-on-one with anyone.

R18, don't get me wrong - even doing the most mundane outing like going to the grocery store can give me insane anxiety, but such things in life are unavoidable. You can pick who you spend you free time with and I've learned that some people just aren't worth your time. I think a lot of us spend so much time trying to be everyone's friend which is impossible. Better to have a handful of close, "ride or die" friends than a bunch of acquaintances who aren't going to be there for you in a time of need.

Don't feed the 2015 bump troll!!!

Bump

They are preferable to people who just natter on and on and any silence isn't them listening, it's them trying to think if something else to say about themselves

Same here, R19. Lots of mean comments disguised as low-level ribbing. I enjoyed the covid lockdowns; not having to see people suited me fine.

However, I prefer one-on-ones to groups. It's easy to get someone talking about themselves. Just sit back and look interested. Groups mean more effort that I'm not willing to spend these days.