Which Closet Case is Trying Too Hard to Seem Straight Today?

You rang?

Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk for the win.

Joe Jonas owns this thread.

Bradley Cooper. All of 'em really is the right answer, though.

This.

I'll go with the obvious.

Jared Padalecki

Jared P for damn sure.

It's pathetic, really.

r6 wins

Bradley Cooper has a look of Barry Manilow across his eyes.

Ryan Seacrest

Seacrest should be the founding inductee into the Trying Too Hard to Seem Straight Hall of Fame.

Aaron Rodgers owns this thread.

His relationship with Olivia Munn is the most laughably obvious bearding campaign of the past several years.

BREAKING NEWS! Leo is getting married! I'm not allowed to start a thread (and amazed no one has yet) so here is the news. If someone wants to, please start a thread. TIA!

Darren Criss

Just like brothers, only better.

Where's Matthew Morrison lately? Studying to become a gynecologist because he lurves vagina so much?

............

JJ Watt

Miss Neyo gives me a chuckle. He went from practically living in a glass closet; to knocking up strippers left & right. And he's made damn sure that he's as messy about the situation as possible. Every 5 minutes there's a story leaked to the press about drama with that baby-mama/fiance/beard or drama with this baby-mama/fiance/beard. Nobody's buying the "Ladies Man" act!

Aaron Rodgers is still the queen of this thread.

Ryan from The OC

Kate Walsh. She broke up with her beard a couple of months ago and since nobody noticed a magazine ran with the story trying to get people to realize she had a bf. The comments after the article are hilarious.

R16 Jensen and Jared are not a couple, Jensen and Misha Collins, that's another story ;)

R24 is deluded. Jensen spends ALL his working days (and nights) and non-working days (and nights) with a man - however, he is not Misha Collins. ;)

Any Jonas Brother

Justin Bieber.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Russell Wilson

You are so pathetic, R24, I actually feel sorry for you.

Quit trying to beat a dead horse.

R25 is spot-on.

That is a truly awesome picture.

😀😀

Zac Efron and whatever beard he's with.

In R28's link we see Jackman out in front, when it's usually the reverse. Somebody must have clued him in that he needed to act like the dominant one in the relationship. LOL

If I could make time in my busy schedule it would be about me and my super-hot fiance, Sofia.

"Vera Wang's boy-toy" Evan Lysacek, with his strategically-placed Playboy coffee-table book.

Nick Jonas. I was originally going to say Joe, but hooking up with Kate Hudson is the definition of desperate.

R16, R25 & R30 I've heard the rumors about those two but I've never bought it. Even if Jensen is gay, he acts so homophobic, particularly at suggestions his character might be bi, that I couldn't see him in a LTR with a man, only hook ups. And if they were a couple why the wives? It's not like they have much of a career outside this show.

Of course all your examples are of good looking people. No ugly celebrity could possibly be gay, like every real world gay is.

John Goodman is gay, R37, but I don't think he fits the blind.

R36 Oh my.

R36 Look at it this way: they live together in a small house in Vancouver despite their $4 million a season salaries; they own houses within 5 minutes of each other in Austin; they are only ever seen out with their wives at official events the rest of the time it's just Jensen and Jared out and about together; they go on and on; the timing of their marriages is just odd Jared suddenly gets engaged and then Jensen very shortly after...

R37, most celebrities are good looking. Duh. You must be blind a homophobe if you think all gays are ugly, too. Probably a typical obese straight person.

Hugh Jackman

While promoting "Pan", Hugh Jackman is telling every interviewer how great his sex life with Deb is.

Wait, does Armie Hammer have a little boner wrapped around Henry Cavill? I swear his little pecker is saluting.

I can't wait for Nick Jonas to come out.

R44) It is! OMG!

I never heard nor seen Aaron Rodgers until I watched him on celebrity Jeopardy. I thought I was going to faint after seeing that Adonis with his cardigan sweater and his well groomed short hair cut. He is so manly! So what is the proof ya'll have that the guy is gay?

Many of these people will marry, have kids, and the remote suggestion will be squashed.

Aaron Rodgers is straight dude

[quote] So what is the proof ya'll have that the guy is gay?

This is a good starting point.

Or you can just google Kevin Lanflisi.

Taylor Swift. It's always going to be Taylor Swift.

Kanye West. The self loathing queen went as far as to say that he is being discriminated against in the fashion world because he isn't gay! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

"Many of these people will marry, have kids, and the remote suggestion will be squashed."

John Travolta got married and had kids, but the world still thinks he's gay

Henry Cavill seems to be the Great Pretender these days.

Neyo

It's embarrassing to watch

[quote]Many of these people will marry, have kids, and the remote suggestion will be squashed.

Bitch, please. I still get mentioned in the comments of any article about JGL and his marriage. Because he's not straight, and everyone knows it.

[quote]"Vera Wang's boy-toy" Evan Lysacek, with his strategically-placed Playboy coffee-table book.

dragon lady lesbian! Vera, not drag lady Evan.

Evan is a joke

jeremy renner owns this damn thread

Most of you on DL are nuts! So many on DL have said James Vader Beek is gay ,yet the guy has 4 kids! If he was gay the guy wouldn't to have that many kids with the little woman. Then people on DL said Mark-Paul Gosselaar is gay yet again he too has 4 kids as well! So many have a lot of kids and stay married. If they were gay they wouldn't have that many kids! and more and more the walls have been coming done for people in Hollywood to come out of the closet.DL makes up a bunch of fairy tales which are complete crap! Don't believe these queens!

R60 Reads like a parody.

"If he was gay the guy wouldn't to have that many kids with the little woman. "

I don't know anything about James Van Der Beek.....but Ted Haggard has 5 kids and we KNOW he's not straight.

Aaron Rodgers for the win! He just can't stop talking about his wonderful girlfriend!!!

Mark-Paul Gosselaar was never rumored to be gay was he? I'll admit, though, I didn't hear much about his personal life before or after he got married.

r60.....Caitlyn Jenner ring a bell ?

[R57] - Vera Wang is a lesbian???

In the West, we like to think we have defeated homophobia, but the huge numbers of obviously closeted celebrities and athletes disproves that notion.

i really did not come across a name on this thread that seemed as outrageous as you are claiming R60. of all the wacky names that've been tossed around here on DL the past few years, these are actually some of the more plausible

JJ Watt

Chris Evans

Aaron Rodgers tries too hard every day

Shemar Moore

Russell Wilson

That cunt Taylor Schilling

Isn't Taylor Schilling out?!

Aaron Rodgers

Billy Flynn

Hugh Jackman

Taylor Lautner

Bradley Cooper

Henry Cavill, especially with his fake deep voice, the "spectacular breasts" interview, and going on and on about the marines and rugby.

....

Taylor S.

Will & Jada Smith and probably their spawn as well.

R80 I hope the four of them come out at the same time... and they will.

Bradley Cooper, Leo, The Jonas Brothers and for the old timers, Keanu Reeves.

Tam.

Dubs

Don't forget about me

And me too I'm trying so hard also

We could never forget you two closet cock loving queens r85 and r86 even when the fraus and fangirls come here try to proclaim and assert your "heterosexuality".

Who is the guy at r86?

Taylor Swift

Billy Flynn R88

I know, I had too reverse Google image search him too.

She by Shemar.

Will Smith will never come out he's the black Tammy Cruise.

Ugh. Definitely Chris Evans right now.

Bond. Tom Bond.

The Chris Evans rumors are news to me. When did this happen?

Shawn Mendes after that pathetic "I'M NOT GAY!!!!!!!" snapchat.

I guess Tom Hiddleston now that he's 'dating' Taylor Swift..

Yes, r97.

David Henrie

Shemar

R92) Isn't Will having an affair with Margot Robbie?

r81, how could a whole entire family be gay. Though the thought is funny. But that would go against biology.

I think it's more likely that Jada is having an affair with Margot Robbie

Shemar is really bad now. I mean, I'm just embarrassed for him at this point. The shirtless 'I'm not gay haters!' Instagram posts are just pathetic.

[quote] Aaron Rodgers is straight dude

Of course he is!

[quote] Aaron Rodgers

Billy Flynn

Hugh Jackman

Taylor Lautner

Bradley Cooper

Add to list Aaron Schock

Of course the Supernatural guys made the list😄

/

Kevin Spacey

Christian LeBlanc and Michael Mealor

Aaron Rodgers, with his Danica Patrick "romance"

I can’t believe no one’s brought up Tim Tebow yet.

[R6] who is that guy?

R5 what is the deal with Dolly's husband? It's almost like he doesn't actually exist. I've never seen a picture of him. What does he do? I wonder if he has a secret partner and maybe even kids.

I don’t see this alleged boner at R44. Am I blind?

R110 Chrissy is not trying hard at all. If anything he's doing just the opposite. .. Did you catch his "Dancing Queen" video on instagram this past weekend? As he ages, he seems to be channeling his hero, Charles Nelson Reilly, more and more.

Bradley Cooper

Lindsey Graham owns this thread this month!

Definitely, Miss Lindsay.

Shawn Mendes.

[quote] I can't wait for Nick Jonas to come out.

Kevin J. would murder him either right before or after that happened. Kevin didn't go willingly into the corral and take so many whacks on the tailbone from Papa Jonas' belt-buckle just so Nicky could gallop free. No sir.

R3/R35 I once read a DL reply dubbing the middle Jonas with the epithet 'Homosexual Joe'. I'll never forget it.

Have you bitches actually forgotten about my lovely, sexy, hottie wife and me?

[quote]I can't wait for Nick Jonas to come out.

I've given up on Nick Jonas.

r116 oh honey. she skipped past Charles Nelson Reilly and went right to Paul Lynde. In another year, she'll be Alice Ghostley just not as butch.

Miss Lindsay Graham

Aaron Rodgers just gave an interview about how he's soooooo in love with Danica

What a homophobic thread! How dare you talk about who’s gay and who’s closeted! Self-serving bull shit!

Timothy Chalamet and Depp's daughter.

[quote]I can't wait for Nick Jonas to come out.

It's a slow rollout. Very slowwww.

Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves. Not only did that movie suck, but their pretense of being so enamored with each other since the 90"s was cringy.

Pretty sure this is Taylor Swift

R51 Swift and anyone she dates. We all know, Taytay. Just stop.

By the time George & Charlotte ( and Louis) are grown, th e monarchy will be barely visible.

R134. Sorry. I posted in the right thgread, but then it shows up here!

Tebow

More about Chris Evans please!

Many reports of Evans’ bisexuality... I think that he’s merely familiar with the casting couch.

Bruce Jenner

For the sake of gay men everywhere, I hope and pray that every man mentioned in this thread is straight.

Joyce Bulifant owns this thread.

I think Miss Lindsey Graham is still trending at number one on this thread.

Hi boys!

R44 Armie seems like the type of straight guy that if you get him high/drunk enough he'll backdoor you.

How else is he supposed to get into locker rooms with young nekked mens?

r145, do you know him personally?

Mark played a "straight" married hustler on an old episode of LAW AND ORDER. It was some of the best acting I ever saw him do.

jgjgj

Cory Booker, come on down!!!

Hopefully at least one of the Garropollo Brothers.

Cory Booker and Lindsey Graham are neck-and-neck in the race for the title of The Senate's Saddest Closet Queer

Childish Gambino

Certainly not me, Ryan Seacrest. The women of America love me. Love me, do you hear ?

Now that I'm over 50, they're leaving me alone and I can have all (of) the hotdogs (that) I want !!

Gee, you bois shouldn't be bitchin. I still have to be careful, hire 'em and have them sign off on DCCs.

Aaron Rodgers. He'd be better off just ignoring the subject instead of these waxing soliloquies about how much he loves to crush the puss. He's not fooling anybody.

[Quote] Look at it this way: they live together in a small house in Vancouver despite their $4 million a season salaries; they own houses within 5 minutes of each other in Austin; they are only ever seen out with their wives at official events the rest of the time it's just Jensen and Jared out and about together; they go on and on; the timing of their marriages is just odd Jared suddenly gets engaged and then Jensen very shortly after...

Who was in the OP photo which is no longer available?

These 2 R158

Shawn Mendes

Not George Clooney.

Well Hugh Jackman has his wife giving interviews about how he is not gay...

Jerry Falwell Jr.

R162, Hugh and Deb definitely qualify!

Derrick Hough

Shawn Mendes and Timothee Chalamet. It’s always the gay as a goose ones that try the hardest to convince the world they’re straight.

Always Hugh Jackman

Rami Malek. Kissing your beard three times and declaring your love for her with your undeserved Oscar in your hand. We get it you’re “straight.”

R165 I can't believe Julianne came out before he did.

Ryan Seecrest