With marriage on young gay minds, will all that crazy gay sex still happen?

What's this "we" crap, Trollina? You're clearly north of 70 and if you even are gay you haven't been laid since the Carter administration.

Straight people have had marriage rights forever yet they have had no shortage of sluts or promiscuity among their ranks. Singles bars, strip clubs, swingers and sexual-empowerment feminism from Helen Gurley Brown to Lena Dunham are all examples of "wild" straight people not "focused on marriage." Your question is stupid and more than a bit homophobic.

When I was a young gay man, dating, hooking up and playing the field, 30 years before SCOTUS legalized gay marriage, guess how I imagined spending my later years? Not trolling bathhouses or truck stops, not loitering in gay bars and dance clubs; I pictured myself with a long term, same-sex partner, and hoped I would live to see the day we could get married. This idea that gay marriage is a brand-new concept is straight from the right wing, and assuming that young gays are solely "focused on marriage," like 1950s debutantes, is beyond absurd and ignorant.

R1 yet there are many older folks still trolling bathhouses...The young just don't seem to go there much an more.

While having a long-term partner was on some minds, I doubt the vast majority of gays even thought that possible or even a goal.

I think much of gay-specific culture, like bathhouses, will die out slowly as promiscuity will be culturally condemned (but not stamped out of course). Sure straight men has sex with others outside of their marriages all the times, as will gay men, but gays hasn't yet felt the admonition of other gays around lots of sex.

Sounds, fisting, c-b torture, felching, piss play, etc all happen when one gets bored of vanilla sex.

With a lifetime of exploring, all these avenues opened up.

With marriage, there will be less sexual exploring; exactly what we have seen in the straight world. This is why most fisters are rather ancient.

Lots of (same-sex) married guys are open, play together or separately, have hookups, kinks, 3-ways, etc. Not every same-sex married couple is elderly lesbians or twinks with stars in their eyes. Marriage never equaled monogamy for straights so why would it for gays?

Marriage is a new thing for gays. We're still trying to see what it means sexually. People used to having adventurous sex now will still have it after they get married.

I do wonder what the next generation will do. I imagine that some of the adventure will be lost when marriage is the goal.

There will be a lot of nasty-ass divorces from people getting hitched while still in "that was the best fuck of my life" whirl. Just like those silly straights.

Anyone ever heard of 50 shades of gray? Marriage doesn't stop kinky people, from getting their kicks.

[quote][R1] yet there are many older folks still trolling bathhouses...The young just don't seem to go there much an more. I think much of gay-specific culture, like bathhouses, will die out slowly as promiscuity will be culturally condemned (but not stamped out of course)

Well yes, but you are completely missing the point. They are dying out because of the INTERNET gramps, not because of gay marriage. Guys who want to hook up find people to hook up with on the apps, , the age of needing to have sex by meeting up in some seedy public place is dying out.

Don't worry OP there will be many millions of new HIV infections in the decades to come to celebrate all that crazy gay sex that you think won't be happening. Enjoy the stats!

Men are pigs and will always have gross sex--gay or straight.

I'm finally getting married in September after 22 years with my partner. I hope my fellow gay men and women don't treat marriage lightly and think that it can be tossed aside like it's a new outfit once you're tired of it. (Are you listening Johnny Weir and Rosie O'Donnell?)

Sadly most gay men think with their hard dicks and gaping assholes, marriage won't put a stop to that.

Yes R12 and straight men never think with their hard dicks which is why the Maury Show never has any cheating husband/boyfriend episodes.

What is "adventurous" sex, r5?

Who cares if some older gay guy goes to bath houses. So what? He's getting laid. Good for him.

Well, R13, when gay man does something like that, it's a million times worse in the minds of some people. Maybe most people.

[quote]when gay man does something like that, it's a million times worse in the minds of some people. Maybe most people.

Huh? "A million times worse?" "Most people?" Most HOMOPHOBES. What you're describing is basic bigotry, and while it still exists it is no longer the case with "most people." Besides, I don't live my life to please some prejudiced mouth-breather who thinks "all fags act the same." Do you?

"Adventurous" doesn't have to = Promiscuous. There's more freedom in doing things with someone you're devoted to and have vowed to remain faithful to and vice versa. If I get married, it'll be bareback cumming all the time.

I'm not a very sexually adventerous person so married or not I won't be doing anything too wild.

There isn't a range of things I really want nor care to try. Bareback cumming and he lets me finger his prostate and I'll be content for life. Marriage is meant to be the highest measure of "exclusive" and that opens up things you'd never do in a less serious relationship.

For me, getting married (over ten years ago now) made me more sexually adventurous. Once my husband and I pledged full commitment, which for us means monogamy, it freed us up in a way that our younger, single years couldn't. We were too afraid of STDs before. Now, we are free to fuck like animals. Everything goes.

It's not for everyone; I recognize that. But For me, monogamous,married sex is the hottest and most adventurous sex of my life.

God, everyone really piling on the OP here. I'm only 30 and perhaps I've romanticized the seemingly hedonistic days of wild, gay liberation of the 70s, but I do also worry about whether we're losing some of our queerness as we adopt more traditionally heteronormative practices. I think with growing acceptance that's probably inevitable. I imagine that for some member of the civil rights movement, there must have been similar concerns about assimilation and dilution of one's culture. It's not a contradiction. It's possible to both support the expansion of civil rights for your minority community and wonder about the long term effects of that... normalization.

But, OP, I wouldn't worry too much. While, yes, there's certainly a growing sex-shaming, white-picket-fence, monogamy-or-nothing crowd, I really don't think they'll dominate the culture as much as they think they can. Especially in big cities. I've lived in LA, New York, San Diego and London, UK over the past few years and, let me tell you, gay men are still fucking . And, let's also be honest, many committed relationships and marriages in our community are open or, as Dan Savage says, monogamish.

As long as people keep going to college, yes.

"Queerness": the SJWs have ruined that word.

Well, if they have, R24, take it back!

WTF is OP talking about??

More gays will get (ceremonially) married than before. Marriage itself will actually be strengthened, no matter what stupid Republicans think. Marriage will never reach its peak ever again, since it will be forced on people less and less. As millennials are starting to show, happiness during marriages will only increase overall. But they will take on a more temporary basis. This is okay, since marriage itself, in history, has mostly been a sort of civil contract (just with strong religious connections and religious forms; that's what you get with the merge of bureaucracy and religion) to last a couple or few decades TOPS. With increased lifespan and better health, its ridiculous to *expect* people to spend several years together in monogamous love. It can and will happen, but anyone prescribing this to others is crazy.

Crazy sex will happen. Crazy gay sex will happen. More 'straights' will come out as bi, gay, pan, etc. More gays will assimilate into more traditional marriage expectations, but many to most still may not.

The wildest gays of gay culture are probably behind us, but the wild days of SEX itself, heh, we're possibly in for a whole new level of hedonism - BETWEEN straights, gays, etc. I'm millennial in Canada and tolerance and even acceptance of gays is all around me, but while the gays may be caught up on the gay marriage fight (and good for us, I support it), both gays and straights are openly intermingling maybe more than ever before. We'll see gays trying out bi, straights trying out bi, both still trying for crazy crazy sex. Imagine the sex explosion from the sexual revolution leading to the gay culture leading to the whole generational relative openness to sexual exploration and you have this generation and likely the Gen Z who will start becoming legal adults soon enough.

It'll be fine.

I'm in 'monogamish' myself, or put more clearly, I'm in an open relationship that requires so much communication that both of us control the 'door' to the relationship together. If I tell any Gen Xer or older about this, they at least feign shock or even disapproval. If I tell any Gen Yer, this almost never happens, but instead I see a glimmer in their eye, if you knows what I means. Even from 'straight' guys. The assimilation of sexual orientation is almost complete IMO - we will share our sexual promiscuity everywhere! Christians weep.

I'm also a big believer in genuine, shot through the heart, butterflies in the stomach, true love. I think marriage is a beautiful ideal and people who really are in love, want to be near each other and feel a magnetic pull towards each other, will enjoy each other physically, it will just be exclusive.

As much as it's fun to be cynical and un-tethered, there's something forever lovely about true love and far be it from me, to come between that. I just hope to find it, too.

I need some Enya, sob!:

Sorry but r27 already didn’t age well.

Honey this conversation is really dated.