"Gay Lifestyle"

The word didn't exist until the late 60s early 70s. Try to write a definition for it with out using the word life or style. It is used as a brand name of condoms and as a euphemism for what was once known as wife swapping. Open air shipping centers are now being referred to as lifestyle centers. The word needs to die in a grease fire. Now get off my lawn.

OP would your mother ever refer to the "heterosexual lifestyle"? No? Then yeah its always derogatory.

Honestly I think it started when we "came out" in all our glory and they needed to attach a label to drag queens, muscle boys, lesbians on Harleys, dudes in Daisy Dukes, guys in cowboy boots and Wranglers, girls in white dresses... wait a second! Normal people. Who knew?

It is only ever used with negative connotations attached.

The gays just love to have style In their lives.

I've always thought of it being used pejoratively to say that being gay is a choice and/or it's just disgusting. Either way they hate us, except for your mom, OP, but now you can explain the subtext to her.

It's almost as naff as 'the gay community' though that tends not to be used so pejoratively.

What I lived over the years wasn't a "lifestyle," it was my life.

It's very AARP

I agree it's a derogatory term, but it could be a useful one. Is there another way to get across the same idea that's not derogatory?

R10 I always thought “scene”/“non-scene” was the PC way of saying it.

I think the “gay lifestyle” distinguishes the “gay closet” but whether through ignorance or outright contempt, yeah, it’s pejorative.

OP, how would your mom refer to straight people who go to straight bars and clubs a lot? Would she say they have a "straight lifestyle?" Doubt it. There's no singular "gay lifestyle" just like there's no singular "straight lifestyle." If one goes to bars/clubs a lot, they live a "party lifestyle" (or they're just a drunk) gay or straight. "Gay lifestyle" is an other-izing term. Which is a negative connotation.

I find it fairly offensive. It's usually used with a vague connection to the word "choice".

Neither gay lifestyle nor gay community are terms that make any sense. They are meaningless and misleading.

Maybe in the right historical context, say in describing the emergence of a visible gay lifestyle in post-Stonewall NYC, or advertisers targeting a perceived as gay lifestyle market. But to describe people, or to diminish people by referring to them as a lifestyle (Jewish lifestyle, Black lifestyle, WASP lifestyle, immigrant lifestyle--stereotype fits as well in any of those instances, and likewise for gay lifestyle,)

[quote]It's almost as naff as 'the gay community' though that tends not to be used so pejoratively.

I'll take "the gay community" over "the LGBTQ community."