In professional situations, how do you signal you're gay to another gay person?

Where do you live? Alabama? North Carolina? Honey, secret signals are a thing of the past for most gays outside the Bible Belt.

You don't. That's what it means to be "in a professional setting'". If it's relevant,then it might make sense to mention it. If it's not relevant, you leave it be.

Present hole.

Flawed premise.

In professional settings, there is no reason to "signal" you're gay. It is irrelevant.

And honey, they know. We all know. Have you looked in the mirror?

I present the hole

Sing the first couple of lines of "The Trolley Song."

Earrings

Caftans

You say something subtle like: "I have an idea that I will like to discuss in this meeting today, it came to me while I was sucking some random cock in the baths last night..."

If you are white, wear a pinky ring. This won't work if you are black or a masculine Mediterranean type with a jewellery box of bling.

R2 nailed it. Thread closed.

You could let your heavy chrome cocking fall down your pants leg and roll across the conference room floor, like I did once in my 20's in the 80's.

To use your example, OP, when another man refers to 'my husband', I have said 'That's wonderful that you two got married. I can't even get mine to commit to matching rings (as I hold up my bare finger).

At work, I showed up on my first day on the new job with two things: a coffee cup and a picture of my partner and myself, however I live in NY and wasn't worried about repercussions. If you live in one of the 29 states where we have no workplace protections, you may want to rethink that last one.

No one taught you the secret handshake?

No, no, no r6. That's the way to see if there are any other gays in the room. You sing the first lines and the other gays will be unable to help themselves from singing the next few.

False premise indeed. Whenever two gay guys find themselves in the same room, they hiss at each other while circling around the hot straight guy.

There is a secret handshake that I learned from older men when I was younger, but I doubt it's universal.

I can't remember the signal exactly. I think it involves a raised eyebrow and circular motions with your tongue.

[quote]You don't. That's what it means to be "in a professional setting'". If it's relevant,then it might make sense to mention it. If it's not relevant, you leave it be.

This is the only correct answer.

Depending on the setting I might find the other gay person later, and talk to them one-on-one (one time this actually lead to a hook up at conference lol), but don't make things awkward in a professional group environment.

Whenever a man mentions "my husband," just scream, "I'M GAY TOO!!!!!"

Whip out your Weiner!

I look at a man who I think is gay and say, "Gurl!"

If that doesn't work, I start lisping in conversation.

If that doesn't work, I lift my caftan ever so slightly.

If that doesn't work, I ask the other man what he thinks about David Burka leaving his hit Broadway show.

You say: "You're lucky. My husband/boyfriend left me because I'm such a pathetic, desperate mess..."

1. Your feet should be shoulder width apart with your right foot slightly ahead of your left foot

2. Your right hand should cover your left titty muscle and your left hand should hold your chin

3. Invent a pet name for him on the spot

4. You should say, "Stapler, let's pretend we fucked like monkeys, you walked out on me, and I'm still pissed. We won't discuss it ever again. I hate your shoes"

Viola! You've signaled you're gay.

Now I wish R11 had started his own thread, and R23 would give ME a pet name, too.

This is an old question. It was covered on Murphy Brown in the 1980s. You can tell if a many is gay when he has toilet paper on his shoe. If he lifts his shoe from the front, he's straight. If he lifts his shoe from the back, he's gay.

Let your clothes do the talking, OP.

Casually mention that you think football or soccer is boring.

Don't you carry your specific color-coded hanky in your back pocket?

Just fuck off and die, r1. You won't be missed.

If I meet someone, I always know if they're gay or not. I just know.

Leave your phone on the table with Grindr open. Or a Golden Girls screensaver.

Assume a wide stance.

Whenever anyone says the word "top", you should abruptly sit up straight and say "ahhhhhh".

OP, didn't you receive your copy of the Gay Agenda? All of the info about networking and recruiting is contained in that publication.

Pull out your kerchief and say, "Yoooooo-Hoooooo! Hey Gurl!"

Works for me every time!

Mention that you're a Republican and vehemently opposed to the gay marriage ruling on the basis of your religious convictions.

Just open your mouth and start talking. Usually pretty obvious.

Excussse me?

Complain loudly that there isn't one single glory hole in the men's room.

[quote] Viola!

Oh, DEAR.

Zzzippp.

Use 'Viola' instead of Voilà and the gays will reveal themselves by recoiling in horror.

Poor R23, just trying to tell a joke and be silly, and the Sisters of Perpetual Pearlclutching jump all over him.

So, in OP's case the guy who said "my husband and I" was he unprofessional for bringing it up in the first place? It seems to me that casual small talk may be considered unprofessional, but it can lighten the tense professional or competitive mood in an office enviroment if one or several people consider it necessary.

R9, I was told by a lesbian that a pinky ring is their signal.

Say something like 'Heavens!' or Ohmigosh!' or 'To DIE for!'

R3 and R5 works for me every time, it also ease the tension of the meeting

Haha you guys are hilarious, i love you. I work in events, and baby it's FULL of gay men. Every male event organizer seems to be gay. There was this cute little gay guy last week. He was wearing a tweed jackect and these shiny leather shoes lol so cute. We exchanged 'looks' if you know whatta mean.

Snap your fingers alot

R2 believes being gay is "unprofessional". Talking about your partner is "unprofessional".

' There was this cute little gay guy last week. He was wearing a tweed jackect and these shiny leather shoes lol so cute.'

TOTALLY my type. I envy you.

Why would you need to?

You briefly touch your pinky to your tongue, then bring your pinky up to your face and quickly brush your eyebrow with it.

Seriously, nobody taught you this?

In business personal information does come up. People mention spouses, children, family, etc when it relates to the discussion. There is no "signal." You just refer to the information as it relates.

[quote] R2: You don't. That's what it means to be "in a professional setting'". If it's relevant,then it might make sense to mention it. If it's not relevant, you leave it be.

Ok, it's not like I'm Emily Post or anything. I was responding in the context that you don't "signal" to other gay men exclusively in a professional setting, because it sounds a little creepy. The caveat is "if it's relevant" which covers a lot of territory. I think R54 puts it well.

If you're marketing a product to gay men, it's relevant

If you're asked about your weekend plans, it's relevant

If someone asks if you're married, it's relevant

If your job is a place where people blab about their personal lives, it's relevant. Feel free to initiate the conversation. If your job is a place where people work together for years without mentioning their sig others, then you should not. "To get along, go along".

Incidentally, depending on your circumstances, you are naïve to think you won't be discriminated against for being gay. You will. Even in states where it is illegal, you will.

I have been discriminated against in the work setting because of me being gay. It happens at every job.

Take off your wrist supports or poke the back of your cheek inside your mouth with your tongue a few times.

Discuss the Joan Crawford vintage scarf you just had to buy and wear while antiquing with your honey bear.

Yes indeed, the key word here is PROFESSIONAL. Keep it that way unless you want to lose your job for sexual harassment. Especially if you dare approach an individual who appears to be gay, and isn't. Or denies that he is. You're asking for trouble. Grow up!

Am I the only person who has not experienced workplace discrimination for being gay? And I am in my 50s.

Not me, but I'm in a very very high-self-selectant gay field

Firm handshake. Eye contact. Smile. In a deep voice say: HELLO MARY!

Sam Champion's cock ring once fell off and rolled across the dance floor at the Pavilion...

I rushed and picked it up. I searched far and wide for the cock it fit. I had to check out hundreds of dicks but I found Sam and the perfect fit. Our fairytale ending.

Years ago, I won an annual award presented by a professional group I belong to. I had been in the large group for several years, and had noticed that in those years, the award had (coincidentally) always been awarded to a gay man. I was not officially out to the group, but in my personal life, I was not in the closet.

Just before I went onstage to accept the award, I made a comment to the (very out) previous winner, who was going to introduce me and give me the award, and said something to him like “…I guess one of the criteria for winning this thing is to be gay [html removed].” He laughed, and looked at me with that knowing smile of “Oh, you’re family!”

He then proceeded to go onstage, do the introduction, and completely out me to the group by saying something like “In the tradition of this club, we once again award this trophy to yet another queer man…”. I was shocked he outed me, but handled it graciously, with little fanfare. There were no repercussions, as far as I could tell.

A few years later, I was up for a very big position with a company in North Carolina. I went to lunch with one of the Vice Presidents of the firm, and his second-in-command. As we talked casually about the job, my previous work, and the new company, the associate got that ‘light bulb over the head’ look in her eye, and said “Oh, now I remember you. You’re the gay guy who won the XXXX award at the YYYY conference!” Immediately, I saw that look in the VP’s eyes - I call it the conservative Christian look. The associate saw it too, and I could tell she immediately regretted making the comment. Needless to say, the job offer disappeared.

I could easily justify how I wouldn’t want to work for a company where my being gay was an issue, but the truth is that it was a great job for which I was very qualified, working with a lot of smart people who I already knew from the industry. From then on, I was always a bit circumspect about sharing my personal life in business setting.

Maybe in 2015 it might be different.

R59 has it right:

ATTENTION Gay employees:

NEVER DISCUSS YOUR PRIVATE LIFE! Not your partner, kids, and ESPECIALLY your marriage or wedding. Gay marriage is a hot button issue and bound to send your co-workers screaming from the office if you mention your prenuptial bliss.

NEVER put pictures of your partner on your desk. Leave your desk empty. No family, partner, wedding, gay pride stickers, NOTHING! Your desk is to remain empty - like you.

You are to remain a-sexual, empty, and soulless. A drone at ALL TIMES. YOU CAN discuss the lives of heterosexual people because heterosexuality is normal. You can listen to their joyful stories and wonderful heterosexual lives, their "I love you's" to their wife, fiancé or girlfriends on the phone, etc. Don't you EVER communicate with your partner on the phone in the work setting. If you MUST speak to your same-sex partner, leave the building and do so in your vehicle or on a premise where other employees can hear you or see you. And, don't EVER challenge a heterosexual employee if they confront you about you parading your homosexuality in the work place and don't EVER challenge the heterosexual when they are speaking to their wife, fiancé or girlfriend because you are "offended". Again, heterosexuality is normal.

Don't EVER ask a gay co-worker what they did over the weekend or if they have Holiday plans, regardless if you are aware of their homosexuality or not. Gay employees are to remain separate. You CAN communicate with each other through pinky rings. No wagging of pinky fingers, or you'll be written up or face termination.

ALL GAY EMPLOYEES MUST remain insecure, afraid and cowardly. That's what people expect of a gay person, especially a gay man.

Your are to remain PROFESSIONAL at ALL TIMES. Homosexuality is UNPROFESSIONAL.

If you have any questions or concerns, consult your HR manual. It's in there under the section: HOMOSEXUALS IN THE WORK PLACE.

Lift up your caftan and show him your mussy when no one else is looking.

It's simple OP: Just say something.

R66 is a hairdresser, stewardess, or sales bottom.

r66 sounds delightful, just lovely.

In all honesty, dropping beads is still a thing. In more professional settings, the gayze remains a reliable indicator. The gayze, as it were, falls to the tame side of cruising but to the knowing side of an innocent glance. It's a simple acknowledgement of family.

You don't.

Bellow at your next meeting " Don't fuck with me fellas!!!"

Hey gurl, let's have lunch.

R73 wins

In the 90s I was working in a toxic company. There was an obvious queen who just joined the staff. He was arguing with a straight guy in the men's room when I entered. When the straight guy left, I said, "Breeders. What do you expect?" He was floored. "What does that mean. I don't think it means what you think it means." I said, "Well, obviously it means people who have children. Of course I really meant heterosexual, who are an annoying and entitled majority around here, but I didn't want to sound bigoted." It took fully 5 minutes to convince him that I was an actual gay person who was on his side.

Not to mention his shock that anyone could tell he was gay.

Within moments of meeting,I usually do a spot on impression of Liza singing " All That Jazz "...Always works for me.

R76, that is why I suggest not "signaling" to other gays. Your situation aside, what is the point to be achieved by this "signaling"? And why is it to other Gays, exclusive to everybody? I think that is why my first response was to say "You don't". If you're out, you are out. But being sort-of out by "signaling" only to particular Gays is just weird.

I don’t consciously signal. But in my experience, unless I’m imagining it, we have a moment of locking eyes and just *knowing*. And only once has it been a positive working relationship in my experience.

Just be yourself. If he has gaydar, he will know without you doing anything different/extra.

I usually dont say anything until someone ask. Them I am totally blunt about it.

"so _____ do you have a girl friend??"

Me: "his name is Kevin"

Maybe not so much now but 10 or 20 years ago when I did that the look on most Fraus faces was priceless. Ironically, the straight men were usually not as bothered by it as the woman. I was included in all the extra activities they did as buddies. Even funnier, I had the longest running relationship than anyone of them at the time. And that was long before gay marriage was a thing we could even think about ever happening.

I was at a school for some time in DC for people in my profession. There was this huge bodybuilder steroid hulk of a man in my group. Very loud, overbearing and presented everything he said as if it was of great importance. He was completely secure in his projection of a straight/alpha male/ man's man persona. He fooled everyone but me. One day during a break I caught him( I was coming down some stairs where I had a clear view of down below) checking out nude guys on his SCRUFF phone app. That night I found him on SCRUFF, his body is very distinguishable. I told him I was in his class without revealing who I was. The next day in class he was meek as a mouse, and the next, and the next, and the next. I finally I couldn't stand it anymore and sent him a face pic on SCRUFF. He chided me for being an asshole, we became great fuck buds while in DC and remain close to this day. So,my advice is don't ever out yourself in a professional setting till you're validated by their SCRUFF ad.

I like to fluff my foofooneenee as I wink at the intended victim

He has gaydar, he knows you’re gay.

If it's a Tuesday wear green socks. All gays wear green socks on Tuesdays.

[quote]I usually dont say anything until someone ask. Them I am totally blunt about it.

More or less the same, though I try to be casual rather than blunt.

At work or among strangers I tend to stick to the subject at hand or something related to the subject at hand.

When a colleague says she and her husband spent the weekend shopping for a new car I wouldn't blurt out, "New car! My husband and I bought a new car two years ago!" or "Husband? I have a husband!" but I might say "Oh, I'm lucky I guess in being spared that because my husband's family has a car dealership so it makes things simple." If something of my personal life advances a conversation in a natural way fine.

If someone asks if I am married, I say, "Yes, I am, for a few years now, to a man I met on holiday in Prague. He's an engineer, an altogether different sort of work."

If a colleague whom I don't know well brings a spouse into the conversation, I may do the same. "This coffee room looks is a mess. Can't the put the dishes into the dishwasher? It's like my wife secretly works here. She has never seen the inside of a dishwasher." "Or maybe my husband moonlights here. He hasn't either."

If someone says he has just returned from vacationing with his wife in Parma where she has family I might say, "Oh, that's interesting. I'd like to hear more about your trip. My husband and are are going there next month for a first visit."

Away from work if the barista at the counter asks a question I find odd, "Is the extra coffee for your wife?" then I may be blunt, "No, no, it's for my husband. He's gay!"

This thread from 2015 was bumped at 2:30am EST. Hmm...

Very simple.

Looks like R80 is the 2015 troll. I had him blocked in another thread for bumping 2015 threads and he's hidden here for me, too.

Why are all these threads being bumped from 2015? WTF is up with that?

R91 You're the one who just bumped it. I almost responded but I see my response above.

Dont be a dip shit R91. I did not bump this thread, I clicked on it because it was bumped. Whatever. I still don't understand what this accomplishes.

You bumped it, r91, ya dumb fuck!

One of the lunatics, I can't remember which one, Pat Robertson or who said we ALL wear a secret ring to infect other "good Christians" with "the AIDS". Just wear that.

Hah I was such a naive gayling I used to wear a flower on my lapel like Oscar Wilde. Did get me some amazing ass in grad school though so I assume things haven't changed much.

You only care about signaling to the other guy that you're gay if you find him attractive and want to hook up. If this is the case tread very carefully and do it totally outside work. During work it can be seen as sexual harassment and is to be avoided like the plague.

I'm not interested in other gay people. Straight guys only.

R98 - that's what you all say until a good top comes along...

I wear a sign around my neck that says

ANAL INVADER

But it’s in very discreet font and coloration, so it’s considered workplace-appropriate.

R99, he’s just saying that to bother other people. That trolling 101.

R101 - yeah when he's the biggest bottom who ever bottomed and would probably bottom for Boy George (in his fat period). Also, I think he is a Log Cabin douchebag in which case I would rather fuck a flower pot.

[quote]I usually dont say anything until someone ask. Them I am totally blunt about it.

This is exactly how I've always handled it.

I spent a year and a half at a job once, before someone finally asked me what I was doing that weekend. I said, I think we're going to (some street carnival). Another person said, "We?" And I said, "My boyfriend and I."

And no one stopped asking questions about him for 3 days.

Later that year, I brought him to the Christmas party and I had to explain to a whole new group of people who he was.

R9 What if I'm a black guy who looks like Prince or Michael Jackson? Or little Jaden Smith?

And I think that Prince was straighter than all the masculine black rappers.

I'm so happy when I work from home because my pekingese is my only co worker, and she knows everything about me.

R102 ummm no, you must have missed the thread where I revealed I haven’t been fucked in five years.

I find success using the 'witches honor' salute from "Bewitched".

You don't know about our semaphore flag code system?

Signal what?

I ask them why their dick tastes like shit.

Has anyone experienced a professional situation, like some out of town meeting, where somebody you've hooked up with is among the group that's meeting? It's happened to me socially, both here in The Colonies, and internationally. But never in a work situation. Wait, come to think of it, yeah, it has.

R112 how did you handle it?

I gasp audibly, throw my arms in the air, shout I'M GETTING ANOTHER CASE OF THE VAPOURS, run towards the object of my message, and collapse at his feet, making absolutely sure not a hair is out of place and the lighting is perfect. It's always worked for me.

There have been assorted incidents that ended up in a remote bathroom with the door locked where we exchanged epiglottis skills as well.

Weird how all of these threads started in 2015 are being bumped again.

I mention "this very interesting website I frequent, called Datalounge"

So you’re also the same person who started the thread “ .. Should I go out of my way to tell my old high school and college classmates I'm gay? .. “

I see a theme, here. Why don’t you quit acting like you just arrived from mars, and have no idea how people relate to each other - and just be honest about what your real agenda is.

It’s not about coming out to anyone.

You wear your keiger party ensemble on casual fridays, dumb-dumb.

[quote]I clicked on it because it was bumped. Whatever. I still don't understand what this accomplishes.

It accomplishes getting people to click on it because it was bumped.

I make the dick-sucking gesture by forming a circle with my thumb and fingers and pumping it near my open mouth while sticking my tongue in and out of the opposite cheek in sequence with the pumps.

bump

Grab em by their mussy.