Anyone else found doctors extremely difficult to date?

I'd say the same about cops

Most physicians do have incredibly demanding careers. You kind of have to be free when they are free or else you aren't going to see them much.

And yes, most do secretly feel they are better than other people because of their academic success.

One of my friends dated a doctor (briefly). The guy enjoyed barebacking and bug-chasing.

It's not about the others, it's about you: why YOU find doctors extremely difficult to date?

Cops and doctors...if you are smart, stay away from them.

Maybe your are the one who's difficult to date OP. Perhaps they find you boring, demanding, and inflexible. As a a doctor, pehaps they prefer someone who is highly infectable. You Actuallu soud highly incurable.

Lawyers are the pills. Jesus, try to win an argument with a litigator!

Doctors feel that penetrating the anus is a bad health habit. They're also fearful of contracting STDs, since they work in the medical field. Not saying anything bad about being gay, mind you, it's just that doctors are very busy and have no time for dating and they have a lot of debt from medical school that goes on for years. They also have reputations to think of, so they are very careful about who they get involved with.

I am a physician and today is my day off. So there you have it. I worked all weekend when most had the holiday weekend off. So now that it is a weekday I might try to make plans for today. However, most guys are just not around because they are hard at work this morning. I often do things alone because of what OP is pointed out; I plan things at the last minute more often than not.

I am single for a reason and not being available is a big reason why. My one and only significant relationship went up in flames because I was "never home", made plans last minute, got called into work on "date night", acted "flaky" as OP pointed out because I was too exhausted or stressed to see straight. I am distracted at times because I have too much on my mind. Sometimes all I want to do on my days off is rest or sleep.

All that said however, in defense of most of the doctors I know, although they can be a PITA at work, when not working they are some of the most compassionate, accepting , hilariously funny guys I know. And from some of the social functions that I have been to on occasion most doctors still party like they are still in med school. The doctors I work with are mostly on their second or third wives or in the rare case that I know they are gay, are single like me.

I would love to be in a relationship, but I find it very, very hard to make one work. The ideal for me would be someone my own age who gets it that I work a lot and does his own thing when I am not around.

Op what do you mean when you say the doctors you have dated have been very self absorbed? Did they talk about themselves only?

Bless you, R9, I love you and I don't even know you! Probably only people who work in medicine (I don't, but I try to imagine) can really understand. I have the utmost respect for doctors' education. They're not all wonderful; no one is - but wow, what brains y'all must have. Kudos.

They're barely around? Sounds like a dream relationship for me!

Hey, Doc! You rock!

I have a friend who does heart surgery-- they work him like a dog, I'm thinking he sees at least four cases a day.

Don't think medicine is the only professional exempt from extremely heavy work. Good peeps! Thank you! Make the most of your free day, buddy.

I had a close friend I helped with his dissertation in college who became a doctor. Years later I looked him up only to find he felt we couldn't be friends because I didn't care enough about money (I had a respectable corporate middle management position). Wow, what a toxic shithead he'd become.

I dated a doctor while I was in college. He made it clear I was good for a fuck, but he had something else in mind for an LTR. Fortunately, he gained some serious weight and looks 10 years older than he is.

The problem for many people like doctors is that they sometimes aren't attracted to the very people who would be good for them in a relationship. Not everyone is so needy he would break up with someone who is "never home," not if there's quality time when he is.

One of my best friends was an emergency room doc. He died in his sleep of a drug overdose at age 46. He was a big party boy into E and K and lots of other shit. One of medicines dirty little secrets is the amount of prescription drug abuse found in the medical community. May help explain why their relationships are troubled.

r9 Do doctors have better luck in relationships with doctors or nurses?

OP's post is a shameless humblebrag.

R14, I dated a doctor and got pretty much the same spiel - mainly, that I was a hot fuck, but he didn't see long-term potential.

I found out he died from AIDS a few years ago which seemed really odd to me for the fate of a doctor.

I disagree, r18.

Interesting thread.

I know of a surgeon now married to a hotelier - they've been together for a very long time. I also know a radiologist in a long-term relationship with an artist where the artist makes his own schedule and out-earns the doctor by a substantial amount. So some doctors manage to have partners...

Lots of docs have partners and wives.

Who cares about fucking wives?

I care about wives. They are sort of intrigal.

It depends on the specialty. Date a dermatologist. There won't be any calls at 3:00AM from a patient who has a Zit. Rheumatology is another 9:00-5:00 practice.

[quote]intrigal.

^^^THAT is really all I need to know about you.

r21 I have been dating an artist/teacher for a short while now. I presented myself in R9 as a hopeless case. Maybe there is hope for me yet. Someone fixed us up because they said we are complete opposites and that would work out great. So far this guy has been a doll. He is very independent and very considerate at the same time. Also, he could care less that I do what I do and I like that about him. He also calls me out on my BS which I also like about him.

Fucking auto-correct.

I don't blame you, r26.

I fell in love with a psychiatrist. Man of my dreams, I thought. Every time he stuck his dick up my ass, I came hands-free. If this is gay, give all the gay, TYVM.

But what a shithead in public. Couldn't go to a restaurant or store without getting in a fight with a clerk or waiter. He didn't fall in love with me, but maybe that's a good thing.

But I still miss his cock up my ass.

R28, you can turn auto correct off.

r16 You are absolutely correct about drug abuse among people in the medical field. Oddly, they tend to be more judgmental towards addicts than people who are in other professions.

Doctors schedules are shit, but if you get them away from work and near a bar prepare for the best stories you've heard in your entire life. Doctors, nurses and EMTs are pure entertainment.

I don't like to generalise but I've had bad experience so far with dating doctors. Dated a GP, he thought highly of himself and was very dismissive of me. Dated a hot young man who was close to being a qualified aesthetician, i felt very disposable to him. Dated an average looking psychiatrist who worked for the feds. He was very controlling and weird.

R33...

aes·the·ti·cian ˌesTHəˈtiSHən/Submit noun 1. a person who is knowledgeable about the nature and appreciation of beauty, especially in art. 2. NORTH AMERICAN a beautician.

Not a doctor hun... sorry to tell you.

anesthesiology specialist you f******

LOl, that's what I thought.

Aesthetician and anesthesiologist. Sure that's the same word.

Anesthesiologist.

Maybe you should try dating a dentist. They have much more flexible schedules than docs, but I'm not sure the personalities would be much better. Most of the dentists I've worked with have been neurotic in some way or another.

Scratch a doctor and underneath is a nurse.

I think it might be the other way around sometimes R40.

I dated an intern and it was the same thing, always last minute and I felt like I was a booty call. I wasn't up for that but he felt to much pressure being in a relationship. It ended and I regret not being more understanding. I thought it was me, that he didn't want to make time for me, but in reality he had no time.

He know has his own practice and I bet has more time to date.

So you decide do you stick it out with them when they are on their way and risk being traded in for someone younger. Or just skip em period.

R41 sometimes it's that way with secretaries(now called personal assistants) and their executive bosses.

Do gay doctors get turned on when they give guys prostate exams?

You just knew this thread would wind up with r44's question. I'm sure if that happened no doctor in his right mind would admit to it.

Don't dentists have the highest suicide rates in the medical professions?

Dating a scientist is even worse. Most of them are married to their careers and will prefer being in a lab than spending time with you if you're not smart or intelligent enough.

I dated a closeted Dr. For 6 months, he was Filipino, a total mess. Had to sneak over to see me & be back in his parents house, before they missed him. He broke it off with me on Thanksgiving. A real loser !!

[quote]Do gay doctors get turned on when they give guys prostate exams?

Have you seen the average patient in real life? Old, overweight, showing the results from a lifetime of terrible habits. Quit picturing these gay porn models.

I know an actress married to a surgeon and she said they both look forward to getting to know each other when they are retired.

[quote] For 6 months, he was Filipino, a total mess.

R48 What nationality was he after those six months?

R51 doesn't understand what a comma stands for, in a sentence !!

Actually, R52, your sentence makes no grammatical sense.

R51's understanding of comma use is not the problem, R52.

What's the difference between God and a doctor?

God doesn't think he's a doctor.

They're not that bad. It's cops you have to stay away from. Far away.

I dated three doctors and they couldn't be more different from one another. One was fantastic-- down to earth and fun (yes I fell for him hard)--and eye surgeon, the second was a crazy psychiatrist--he thought he was better than everyone else, the third was a cardiologist--nice but a bore who only talked about medicine .

Isn't it amazing that doctors come in different personality types! Yup, they are people too!

That said, they were all smart. The first guy was very well rounded and knew so much about the world-- the arts, religion, music, astronomy, everything--yet was so humble and kind.

Most doctors were nerds who grew into lucrative careers. Many don't have great social skills because they were busy studying instead of socializing. They don't have time for stupid people.

Doctors in training have almost no time for relationships--so end up with people in the health professions too because they understand each others' schedules.

I had a doctor FB-- he was so hot and an amazing fuck. I totally miss him!

Well?

Doctors are unique in being able to command high salaries, while also enjoying societal reverence. It completely inflates their egos. All of them. They LOVE that sense of specialness, of almost high priest status! Ever notice how they insist on calling themselves physicians, when everyone else calls them doctors?

There are the occasional exceptions, but a happy relationship with a doctor? Forget it.

An earlier poster mentioned drug abuse. It is estimated 1/6 of American MDs have a prescription drug addiction, with highest rates being amongst anesthesiologists, who divert drugs from their patients!

Sick. Totally sick.

[quote]Ever notice how they insist on calling themselves physicians, when everyone else calls them doctors?

Because that is their actual title. The honorific "doctor" is really meant for PhD holders. Of course languages change, and physicians are now called doctors but there are a ton of different "doctors", especially at a hospital/university setting where many work. By calling them physicians that is actually way more clear cut and avoids confusion.

I'm a drug rep and have dated several doctors. Most were totally in the closet. I dated an allergist that was very weird about physical contact. (Go figure). Too much work.

R46, dentists used to have the highest suicide rate. Now it's doctors.

Not true R64.

I have a crush on the actor Kevin Rahm who, alas is straight. Read - last year? 2 years ago? that he got married a while ago to a woman doctor. That's pretty cool; she can "keep" him while he chooses parts not just for the $$$.

After Obamacare they're public servants. A notch above DMV workers.

Just not true, r67.

I am a doctor. I chose a specialty that allows me to have plenty of time outside of medicine and I have a second career in performing arts. I am not motivated by money and I am relatively low paid but I would rather have the freedom and flexibility to live life than the riches and a shitload of unhappiness. I have had two successful long term relationships. The first one ended with his death. The second one is ongoing. It takes a lot of compromise and understanding to make it work but it can.

R69 what is your specialty?

My speciality is blood letting with leeches. I don't have as many patients as I used to.

This guy is a psychiatrist though he seems to suffer from narcissistic personality disorder. I imagine he'd be difficult to date. He's friends with Gio Benitez

Doctors difficult? Men with no skills and no money, they are difficult to date.

Is he seriously a physician R72? It's sad to see an educated professional be this narcissistic instagram ho. C'mon dude, you are a real career, your patients and coworkers can see that.

Also here's a little story. Don't date them, but fuck them... At my beautiful college campus there was a cruisy bathroom of course. A physician attached to the university medical school/centre and with a private practice picked me up there. He was horse hung and a great fuck. I was not in sciences, so didn't care about any threat of awkwardness. He was a closet case and often took me to his private practice and would fuck me on those examining tables. I felt a bit sorry for him because he was in the closet, had a buttahface though pretty hot dad bod, and had a thing for twinks.

I dated a doctor in NYC who found it such an unpleasant job he became a lawyer!

R74 yes he's real lol

My boyfriend is doing his residency right now so there is an issue with the amount of time we get to see each other. Our compromise has been that he often crashes at my place after his shift so we can spend time together. He's completely grounded and modest but I've met some his work friends and a couple of them act like I'm beneath them because I'm not a doctor, despite the fact I actually make more money then they do.

[quote]a couple of them act like I'm beneath them because I'm not a doctor, despite the fact I actually make more money then they do.

There is a couple things going on there. One they are in residency, lots of people make more money than residents because they are still in training, they haven't officially started their career.

And secondly, the ego with physicians doesn't really come from the money, it comes that becoming one is very hard and competitive so they see themselves as the best and the brightest.

My boyfriend is a doctor ... we met when he was in residency... and he had a rule that he would not get involved with anyone in healthcare because he disliked most of the doctors and nurses he worked with. He used to work in emergency medicine but hated it. He said there was an active drug and sex culture with doctors and most of them had terrible social skills.

There are some great doctors out there who really do care but their schedules are often tough to navigate. Then there are other doctors who narcissistic and look down on everyone else who isn't a doctor.

R9 Date a Chef.

The doctors I have known over the years in successful long term relationships dated a chef because the life, demands and stresses are often the same. AND the chef can whip up a fabulous meal last minute when you do have the time to be together.

I've dated Doctors, Cops, Firemen, Lawyers, Senior VIPs/CEOs,etc all around Toronto. I have nothing bad to say about both the doctors Ive dated. They both are really educated and really intriguing to talk to. But after all that they are really sketchy. The first wanted his hands on anything. If you're not around when they're not on the clock then they will resort to the next gay guy they meet. Second was more down to earth and loyal, but for the most part not the type of guy I would see myself dating. Firemen I dated were just too clingy and was really more annoying than anything. The cops are just assholes when it came down to it..They have no filter and carry out they're job to their personal lives a lot...but they drove fast cars which attracted me a lot. Lawyers are actually really fun to chat with since they are more personable, I suggest you go for them! Senior VIPs/CEOs gave me the most dramatics, they were a handful and they are really static in personality/efforts...as much money they may have stay away from them; they are really bad news. Nonetheless, Doctors have been the most decent guys if you're okay with not seeing them on the regular...just make sure you find a loyal one!!

r82, bless your heart.

The fact that you're a serial doctor dater suggests that you, not they, are self absorbed. What's the matter, an insurance broker or IT guy isn't good enough? Don't repeat your failures, move on bud.

I've been with a doctor for 21 great years, married for 8. David told me in the early days that MD marriages often don't last and I didn't think much more about it. How could a comfortable life style with a man you loved not last? I soon learned MD's work 10-14 hours a day ,often on weekends. Having a life together isn't easy but the good times most always make up for the lonely times. As with all good marriages, it takes a commitment to make a good life.

I was with a guy for a while who was doing his residency in emergency medicine and he was a truly great guy. He came from a family of doctors which actually I think helped to keep him grounded rather than get a big head about himself. During our first year together he worked mostly 12 hour evening shifts during the week and had most weekends off so we saw a lot of each other, but then his shifts went all over the place and it became harder and harder to spend more than maybe a couple hours a week together. We ended up breaking it off. It's been a couple years now and I've been with my current boyfriend for three years but he has sort of suffered from relationship to relationship. He's made it clear that if I ever wanted him back, he'd be there but I don't see it happening.

I think it would depend on the type of doctor you're with. A hospital doctor has crazy shifts and very hard to have a personal life outside of work sometimes. Then a family doctor or a doctor running their own practice makes their own hours so that would be easier.

[quote]David told me in the early days that MD marriages often don't last and I didn't think much more about it. How could a comfortable life style with a man you loved not last? I soon learned MD's work 10-14 hours a day ,often on weekends.

You sound absurdly naive and uneducated. How did you not already know this? Did you seriously think being a physician was a 9-5 M-F job? Hospitals don't close.

Choose a doctor with regular hours: ophthalmologists and dermatologists all seem to sane hours, which is why it's hard to get into those specialties. I also find them to be among the nicest of docs because they're not crank from being up all night.

OP, it was *his* appendix!

[quote]One of my friends dated a doctor (briefly). The guy enjoyed barebacking and bug-chasing.

How old was the doctor, R3? Describe his appearance while I stroke off.

Yes, r67!

With Obamacare, doctors are swamped with patients with private insurance who can actually pay for their exorbitantly-priced healthcare! A living hell, to be sure.

Maybe I was naive and young ---about a lot of things. You do know that was almost 25 years ago but I learned and we're still here and happy it worked out.

Now you go off to the book store and check things out.

[quote] Now you go off to the book store and check things out.

LOL, I'm not the person you're responding to, but in what way is this even considered a comeback?

Considering only 3% of Americans now how new private insurance with Obamacare, doctors are hardly swamped by extra patients.

Plus, no one is forcing doctors who don't want to to take Obamacare insurances.

Wrong person.

I was annoyed by someone criticizing me about starting and keeping a 20 year relationship because I was naive by someone who is maybe still into quickies at the bookstore. I doubt he's a relationship expert and I was trying to be clever. Sorry.

lol this turned into an off-topic bitchfight

There's this 39-year old, super hot doctor who stalks the Townhouse on East 58th Street. He's looking for older rich men. He's always hard and wants to make out there for starters, but his breath! What does meth breath smell like?

Anyone else have experiences with dentists? No jokes about the lion dude or the pedo one though. At least not too many.

PLEASE!!!

Off topic somewhat - in my experience cops have been the worst. As a kid a friend's dad was a cop and totally fucking insane. I would hide in my friend's closet when his dad came over to visit.

I think R3 and I have the same friend. My friend was also dating a doc (in a pediatric residency) that was into barebacking and bug chasing...until he got the bug.

I was an RN, now NP. My husband and I make it work, though I work less hours now as an NP than I did as an RN. I honestly don't think I could be with someone outside of the healthcare profession. When I was single and dating, if I had a bad day (usually when a patient I had a good connection with died) they just couldn't understand and wouldn't understand that I needed emotional comfort, which my husband does get since he is in healthcare. I've had to tell children and their families they have terminal cancer- you need someone at home that can support you with that, and from my experience, those not in healthcare just don't get it. There's nothing wrong with that at all, it's just that we live in different worlds.

Find doctors who have normal scheduled like radiologists, ophthalmologists, and dermatologists. There's a reason why these specialties are so coveted--they pay high and they have normal lives.

I find surgeons to be unbearable--much of it because of machismo and the rest because they don't get to sleep all that much.

I also know a number of MDs who don't practice medicine any more--they work in administration, government, or policy. Smart guys with normal schedules

I find something so macho about doctors. Are they good tops?

I wish I could date a doctor. I always wanted to be a doctor but didn’t have the science skills - or perseverance to stick out another 12 years of school and a brutal lifestyle that wastes your 20s. They do a worthwhile job and have a good handle on death. And then there is the guaranteed income stream. They would be the perfect husband. I’m envious.

They are very self important. They also do a lot of drugs. I’m glad he dumped me.

R101 The only exception I’ve found to the ‘all surgeons are assholes’ rule is orthopedic surgeons, who tend to be much more cheerful and even-tempered. Those guys are like carpenters.

Aspies with God complexes. That's one prescription I have no interest in filling.

I dated a pediatrician for about 6 months when I was younger. He was a really nice guy, who took good care of himself. He mostly worked office hours - I think he was on call with one of the hospitals about once a month, so dating was easy. I met quite a few of his pediatrician colleagues too - they also seemed really nice and I never got any sense of superiority from them. But he told me that most people in peds were fairly chill, and the alpha types tended to end up in other specialties.

I dated a doctor. He was handsome and smart and busy. That never bothered me. He was an ER doctor. So every date was like a guest appearance. But my main problem was that he I was always " Weekend Update". He never really knew what going on in the real world. But I did think he is thinking about how to practice his medicine - his job. Would you want a doctor who thought less his of job and more of his wife? We didn't have the same goals.

I dated one and ended up with a few doctors as friends. They ALL think they are better than the rest of us, no matter how highly educated or specialized our other fields are. Medical school is tough but it’s not as difficult as say, becoming an Actuary. I’m still friends with most of them but they can be very demeaning sometimes and love to make fun of the little people.

[quote] Are they good tops?

No, R102, I'd say they're more ... bump bitches, like your sad self.

[quote][R69] what is your specialty?

Humble bragging!

Maybe they realized you're probably just a gold-digger and treated you accordingly?

Most of the ones I've known were great guys although I'm sure there are some bad eggs in the bunch, like the gay perv doctor from Ohio State and the other one from the University of Michigan

Date? I lived with one. He had a Jehovah complex and his single gay doctor friends couldn’t connect with other guys.

I've known 3 doctors, wouldn't have dated any of them.

After the years of schooling and training, most doctors work regular hours