Hypercritical gay friends

Punch and delete

Take copious amounts of pot, silly

Grow up and learn adult coping mechanisms

Stop being their friend, that's how. If it's minor criticism then at first I am just clear that I don't want to hear it. "I didn't ask what you think." But if they are just a bitch, it doesn't take long before they either make themselves scarce or I do.

they've already affected you more than you realize, and to stay friends with them is to partake in the systematic assault on your self-esteem.

gays are all hypercritical.

It's a sure sign of low self esteem

I don't hang out with such people, OP.

And neither should you.

I am perfectly capable of feeling bad about myself without anyone's help. I don't need outside help , real friends pick you up they don't put you down.

I banish them from my life. There will be enough people throughout your life who will criticize you for almost anything. You don't need any crap from people you consider as friends.

I'd be mortified. Better to be alone.

Try this: "It makes me uncomfortable when you pick at how I live, how I dress, etc... If you continue to be disapproving of me, I'm afraid we can't continue to be friends".

My straight family is far worse. At least my gay friends are accurate in their vicious assessments.

We're our own worst enemies.

I use the words of Elvira, Mistress of the Dark: "If I want your opinion, I'll BEAT it out of you!"

I have high standards. I expect a lot from my friends, who are all successful, dynamic, attractive people, and I give a lot in return.

It doesn't do either of us any favors if a "nice guy" friend dresses poorly, is out of shape, or behaves boorishly in public: it lowers his profile and, by association, mine in the eyes of others. Why not challenge our friends in a loving and supportive way to bring out the best in one another?

Gay men can be bad with recognizing boundaries with their friends, and as someone said upthread, hypercriticism is always a sign of low self-esteem in the criticizer. Even so, you have to set limits with certain people who will not recognize them unless you tell them flat out.

If someone criticizes your body, that's the worst of all--they're ultimately criticizing you then as a person since you ARE your body, and you know how your body looks (you don't need someone else to tell you).

If someone every so often says something about your clothing choices or your decorating choices, and does it politely ("I loved it when you wore a beard because you look so handsome with one") rather than rudely ("I wish you'd grow your beard back, because you have a weak chin"), that's okay. But if they do it rudely or regularly, you need to tell them not just to knock it off but that you consider that behavior rude.

I wouldn't go to threats of not being their friend anymore if they keep criticizing you (as r8 suggests) unless you've already established boundaries and they've disregarded them.

[quote] It doesn't do either of us any favors if a "nice guy" friend dresses poorly, is out of shape,

What on earth would it have to do with you if a friend dresses poorly, or is out of shape? How in any way does that have anything to do with you?

Yes, I have had hypercritical gay friends in my life. They've got critical comments and sarcasm about everyone, everything, every article of clothing and every career. They usually believe they know how everyone should live their lives. However, these "friendships" only last about two years. These "friendships" start quickly and strongly, but at some point I just stop calling or I start to criticize back.

My true, loyal, long-term and supportive friends are straight married people and gay parents. Much more complimentary and appreciative and kind and positive thinking. People I've met through previous employments, my synagogue, parenting, grad school.

I don't keep people like that as friends. Family is a bit different.

If you don’t have that gay friend, then you are that gay friend.

Hypercritical friends are tolerable.

Hypocritical friends or not.

Unfortunately I’ve had far more than my fair share of hypocritical friends.

"...they're ultimately criticizing you then as a person since you ARE your body," R13

Funny, as I remember a show with a personal trainer trying to whip some clients into shape by telling them "you are NOT your body," so that they wouldn't take his criticism of their bodies as an attack on them as human beings.

I fart in their car.

Yes, and I finally realized that the reason they were so hypercritical is because they were jealous, plain and simple. They were jealous of my career, the fact that I had a great partner, my looks, my home, my height, my car, my body-type . . . essentially, you name it and they were jealous of it.

I busted my ass in high school, college and then lin aw school and I made something of myself. I also busted my ass in the gym (and continue to do so) and ended up meeting a fantastic guy there who was recently divorced from his wife. He's a US Marshall and we've been together just shy of ten years.

Those "friends" who do nothing but criticize? Get rid of them; cut the deadweight and move on with your life because they are nothing but jealous of yours.

Drop-kick them out of your life.

I'm the antithesis of critical, by the way. I'm the type of guy who wants to emphasize your good qualities, who wants to build you up and instill confidence in you. I will never understand those who constantly criticize others. It's nothing other than a sign of their own low opinion of themselves.

R21 & R22 & R23 are all right. They're nothing but jealous fucks! Get rid of them.

Ain’t nobody got time for dat.

Eliminate them. However you need to do it.

r12 = YourHypercriticalFriend

No. I'm the prettiest of the bunch and they know it. Bitching words can't change that fact.

They are jealous of your hair - your glorious beacon of golden sunlight. Rock that pompadour, OP.

Wear gloves when you’re around them, but make sure you rub your dick on some doorknobs.

[quote] Funny, as I remember a show with a personal trainer trying to whip some clients into shape by telling them "you are NOT your body," so that they wouldn't take his criticism of their bodies as an attack on them as human beings.

Oh, then if a personal trainer said that, it must be true. They are so deep and wise.

I say things like, "It would never occur to you to shut up, and mind your own fucking business, would it?"

[quote] If someone criticizes your body, that's the worst of all--they're ultimately criticizing you then as a person since you ARE your body,

Pfft!