Let's be the local Pride Fest!

I'mthe supposed sex acts on floats that prissy pants posters here claim occur

I'm a cameraman for [italic]The 700 Club[/italic] looking for R1 so it can be used as propaganda against all gay people everywhere.

I'm the hot new drag queen you missed because you spent 45 minutes looking for parking.

I'm OP, a 100 year old closeted gay male who never leaves the house.

I'm a giant speaker blaring tuneless "untz untz untz" dance mixes from one end of town to the other. What I wouldn't give for acoustic music to play out of me just once at one of these things.

[quote] the hot new drag queen

There is no such thing.

My friend and I are "Queers for Corgis." We have a banner.

I'm one of the hundreds of strollers being told to move back behind the line, followed by hundreds of complaints from fat mommies who were expecting free food.

I'm the local Baptist preacher protesting the event with a sign quoting Leviticus while I simultaneously eat a crab cake sandwich and have a raging hard on while I gaze at the pride participants with both loathing and twisted, longing desire.

I'm the drag queen marching in heels, wishing I had been sensible and worn flats instead.

I'm Jenny, the Icicle Queen. Fierce and fabulous. Bow to my beauty and fierceness.

I'm Rick Santorum and I can barely control my erection while looking at all of the shirtless homosexuals! I mean my disgust, I can barely control my disgust!

I'm the straight couple who are stuck at the intersection til the parade passes by, our jaws exaggeratedly dropped to indicate how appalled we are.

I'm Gloria Gaynor doing a comeback performance at the pride festival

I'm the drunken, impromptu nudity.

I'm the porta potty that smells like funnel cake, regurgitated Smirnoff & cranberry, and Boy Butter.

I'm a twinks pre-lubed hole ready for a quadruple penetration.

I'm the local gay dance club owner who quadruples the cover charge and makes the resident DJ wear a wig so people think he's Barry Harris.

I'm the SOBER PRIDE tent. I try to display a fun attitude but people tend to ignore me.

I'm R16, dragging a rando into one for a quickie despite the smell.

I’m a sad fascist bumping threads from 2015 because I’m getting my ass handed to me in all current discussions.

I’m the mayor up for re-election. Pride is so awesome! (Also let one of my kids hand this flyer to you and take down your demographic information.) WOOOOOO!

Muriel? We have a problem in all the aisles because a psycho is attempting to bump 2015 threads so's to deflect every thread where he's already been handed his hat.