Advice for the youngers -- gaylings and baby dykes

It doesn't get better.

Avoid labeling yourself and others, and learn to recognize when it's love, if you're lucky enough for it to come your way.

Respect your elders. They went through hell so you wouldn't have to.

That was the perfect R1. Funny.

The only true freedom is Independence of the Good Will of others.

Don't keep passing on love because you think something better is around the corner. It isn't. Then your looks fade and you find yourself all alone and regretting dumping so many guys who could have been the one.

Your sexuality is not special, it's just a reality, like heterosexuals, so don't burden others with your expectation to be treated like special snowflake.

Beware of wigs

It may or may not get better. Money helps.

If you're hot and under 18, I can make it better.

Posted before: Comparison is the root of all unhappiness.

Always be willing to walk away - from a relationship, a job, whatever. You still make commitments, it just means you don't keep a commitment to the point of damaging yourself.

For the gaylings: Accept the fact that every guy you become involved with is going to cheat on you. Also, guys will lie and say "I love you" as easily as they will ask someone to pass the salt or pepper. Once you're able to stop believing anything a guy ever says to you or promises you, you'll find yourself much, much better off.

Every pot has a lid.

You are already someone's "perfect" type. Don't waste time or tears trying to transform yourself into something or someone you are not.

Stop thinking you're the shit, you're actually just one part of a very large community. Get over the idea that you're a special flower and get to work

Contrary to all the media hype and grand stories of acceptance when coming out, your survival may depend on being smart and pragmatic about coming out.

If you're still financially dependent on parents who are likel to throw you out - don't come out.

If you live in a community where being gay may get you bullied or killed - don't come out.

Many people would have you believe that you have both the obligation and right to come out. Neither of those helped the thousands of teens who are living on the streets.

Come out on your terms - not anyone else's.

Realize when sex has become a substitute for something else. Then find that something else.

What r3 said.

Your life and times are of interest to pretty much nobody.

r15 is the best!

If hetero culture confuses you now, you won't "get" it later.

Lots of stupid grumpy old people posting who think the most outrageous thing in the world is someone else's ego (they themselves were arrogant on a level you have never known).

The most miportant thing is to realize you are the gay community and if you don't take part in shaping it, you will suffer that most contemporary of psychological problems, anomie.

I'll second R16. And if you came out in your teens and were out as a student, be prepared to be make the decision to get back inside the closet if you end up in a profession or simply an environment that isn't as accepting as the one you were out in. Getting back in the closet is a depressing reality, but it may happen.

If you wish to stay out as a professional, then you'll have to choose your field carefully.

And you may come out again when circumstances are better for you.

Have as much sex as you want, but use protection every time. It's possible to live with HIV for decades, yes, but you should do everything in your power to protect yourself from contracting an incurable virus that relentlessly attacks your immune system. We lost a whole generation of our brothers in the 1980s and early 1990s to that devastating infection. The AIDS crisis is not over.

Second R24. DO NOT think it happens to others. My best friend contracted AIDS in 2007, he was 25, and it's not like he was lacking information. Yes, he is still alive. But the drug cocktail and what it does to your system - that's massive.

Respect your eldergays, and give them head.

Any self-esteem/confidence issues? Address them NOW. Take advantage of good therapy and mentors, they're easily available and accessible today. Do NOT get in the habit of seeking validation from someone else's approval and acceptance. Otherwise, you'll have a long life of being deceived and frustrated.

Many of us eldergays made poor decisions as young people, mainly because we simply had no one to turn to for clear, practical, and trustworthy advice. Some of us are still paying a price for that lack of important guidance. There's nothing worse than feeling lonely, bitter, and angry as an eldergay, realizing that so many mistakes could have been avoided.

ThIs is blasphemy, but gays are discriminated against all the time, everywhere. If you intend to become a hair stylist, it might not be a problem to be way-out, but in other jobs or circumstances, you might not want to way-out.

Know.

Love.

The Blue Nile

Learn to mind your own business and keep yours to yourself. Keep your life to yourself and the ones you most trust and stop oversharing. It backfires every time you give up too much information to the whole world. Similarly, stay out of other people's lives. Don't be concerned with what everyone else is doing. Don't let people's private lives annoy you or concern you. In short, live and let live and to repeat another poster, remember no one cares about the minutiae of your lif.

Move to a gay-friendly city NOW

Just be your fucking self and don't let the visions of the elderqueens and their version of being gay shape your life. Live where you want. Like the "gay icons" only if they really appeal to you. Straight people are not evil.

Be. You.

Move to California. It's the best state to be gay in America.

Beauty fades. A gym body can be created and maintained, but what's inside us much more important. Have honest, real feelings and discussions.

Being gay doesn't mean embracing what the media is showing you as the "gay culture". Be you.

When he says he's a total top, always wrap it up if you play around. People lie about money, sex, and sti's.

Meth is amazing, don't pass up the opportunity!

Don't listen to R37...

Yes, move to California, but avoid Bakersfield, the "inland empire," and anything north of Sam Francisco.

What R3 said.

VOTE. Get off your ass and VOTE. And make sure you never EVER vote for a Republican (they hate you). And don't get caught up in the irrational cult of Libertarianism either.

Wear a condom with everyone - even boyfriends for the first few years. Or go on PREP treatment.

Relationship doesn't promise happiness.

An advice won't take you far. Everybody's path is different.

[quote]Yes, move to California, but avoid Bakersfield, the "inland empire," and anything north of Sam Francisco.

WTF? Most of coastal California north (and sout) of SF is fine. I'd say avoid the Central Valley, and pretty much anyplace inland, except for the Coachella Valley and maybe Sacramento.

The grass is always greener in Seattle.

Only on DL do you have gay men telling young gay men to stay closeted.

Most of this advice is trite, some is downright awful.

Make at least a few solid friendships. Aging can be an extremely lonely process for gays, especially those who don't have partners and children.

Most of the advice is heartfelt, R47, or why would people bother to post on this thread?

What wonderful resource, OP? DL? Why? To turn them prematurely into bitter, fat, old eldergays?