Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

Some of the Greatest Insults Are Delivered Dry

I could never understand what Sir Godfrey Tearle saw in Jill Bennett, until I saw her at the Caprice eating corn on the cob.

-Coral Browne (1913 – 1991) Australian actress

by Anonymousreply 120October 13, 2021 6:30 PM

Is Eva LeGallienne a lesbian?

Why she's the bucket in "The Well of Loneliness"!

Lillian Gish (apparently, when asked!)

by Anonymousreply 1September 23, 2014 2:14 AM

OP, that's "the actress, Coral Browne" to you.

by Anonymousreply 2September 23, 2014 2:21 AM

Oh, more! Wonderful topic!

by Anonymousreply 3September 23, 2014 2:31 AM

Isn't that "lesbian actress Coral Browne"?

by Anonymousreply 4September 23, 2014 2:35 AM

"I don't see why not. Everyone else has."

-- Noël Coward, upon seeing a billboard outside the Odeon in Leicester Square that read, "Michael Redgrave and Dirk Bogarde in THE SEA SHALL NOT HAVE THEM," 1954.

by Anonymousreply 5September 23, 2014 2:48 AM

"They said you weren't fit to eat with pigs - but I stuck up for you, and said you were."

by Anonymousreply 6September 23, 2014 7:04 AM

Kenneth Williams, British actor best known for his appearances in the "Carry On" films, authored a book entitled "Acid Drops." The title is a reference to a hoary/hairy old joke about an actress. The book is filled with stinging, witty and outrageous insults, asides and humiliations. To whit..... Noel Coward warned a friend about a mutual acquaintance with this guarded advice: 'He's a little man, that's his trouble. Never trust a man with short legs... brains too near their bottoms.'

by Anonymousreply 7September 23, 2014 9:55 AM

Fabulous! More more more of these verbal acrobatics dipped in strychnine.

by Anonymousreply 8September 23, 2014 10:32 AM

Between George Bernard Shaw and Winston Churchill:

SHAW: "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend...If you have one."

CHURCHILL REPLY: "I cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...If there is one."

by Anonymousreply 9September 23, 2014 12:00 PM

Eugene O'Neill once received a telegram from a Hollywood executive asking him to write a screenplay for Jean Harlow. Reply in twenty words or less, the executive said.

O'Neill telegraphed back: No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. O'Neill.

by Anonymousreply 10September 23, 2014 12:46 PM

That is glorious, R9.

by Anonymousreply 11September 23, 2014 12:48 PM

A whispered aside from Dorothy Parker to a dinner party companion about a newly minted female movie star at the party:

"Isn't she wonderful and I hear she speaks 15 languages, but doesn't know the word for "no" in any of them."

(Something like that.)

by Anonymousreply 12September 23, 2014 1:41 PM

"Madame, do you have any unexpressed thoughts?"

by Anonymousreply 13September 23, 2014 1:47 PM

Love it.

by Anonymousreply 14September 23, 2014 1:55 PM

[quote] "Isn't she wonderful and I hear she speaks 15 languages, but doesn't know the word for "no" in any of them."

Was Jenny her name?

by Anonymousreply 15September 23, 2014 2:03 PM

Do you think I could buy back my introduction to you?

by Anonymousreply 16September 23, 2014 3:26 PM

John Gielgud about Ingrid Bergman, whom he directed in a play: "Dear Ingrid, speaks five languages, and can't act in any of them".

by Anonymousreply 17September 23, 2014 3:29 PM

This dry jab always makes me giggle...

The Baroness: "Why didn't you tell me?"

Max: 'What?'

The Baroness: 'To bring along my harmonica.'

by Anonymousreply 18September 23, 2014 3:33 PM

Lady Astor to Winston Churchill: “If you were my husband, I’d poison your tea!”

Churchill: “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

by Anonymousreply 19September 23, 2014 3:47 PM

"There are the remains of a fine woman about her." Gilbert & Sullivan.

And in response to: "Do you have any unexpressed thoughts?"...

"Yes, I'm having one now." Dead eyed stare.

by Anonymousreply 20September 23, 2014 4:54 PM

Tired of watching an inebriated Winston Churchhill, a guest said, "Winston, you're drunk!"

Churchill replied: “You're right, Bessie. And you're ugly. But tomorrow morning, I'll be sober. And you'll still be ugly.”

by Anonymousreply 21September 23, 2014 5:02 PM

Edna Ferber was fond of wearing pants. Noel Coward said to her one day:

Why, Edna you almost look like a man."

Ferber looked Coward over and said: "So do you."

by Anonymousreply 22September 23, 2014 5:03 PM

Voltaire was invited by his friends to attend an orgy. Though rather shy, he did. Afterwards they asked him if he'd like to go again. He declined, saying:

“Ah no, my good friends, once a philosopher, twice a pervert.”

by Anonymousreply 23September 23, 2014 5:06 PM

Upon hearing that Claire Booth Luce was kind to her inferiors, Dorothy Parker replied, "Where does she find them?"

by Anonymousreply 24September 23, 2014 5:11 PM

Let's not forget Truman Capote ... He was confronted by a jealous man whose wife asked Capote for an autograph. Unzipping and pulling it out, the man said, "Perhaps you can autograph THIS!"

"Well, no," Capoted said. But perhaps I could initial it."

by Anonymousreply 25September 23, 2014 5:15 PM

Thank you for a memorable afternoon, usually one must go to a bowling alley to meet a woman of your stature.

by Anonymousreply 26September 23, 2014 5:16 PM

Claire Booth Luce (holding the door open): Age before beauty.

Dorothy Parker (going in): And pearls before swine.

by Anonymousreply 27September 23, 2014 5:17 PM

You look like a birthday cake. Too bad everyone's had a piece.

by Anonymousreply 28September 23, 2014 5:20 PM

My response to "Fuck you"...

"You'd fall in love and I'd fall asleep"

by Anonymousreply 29September 23, 2014 5:34 PM

If you don't have anything nice to say about anyone, come sit by me, dear.

Alice Longworth Roosevelt

by Anonymousreply 30September 23, 2014 6:38 PM

That wasn't exactly an insult, R30.

Eleanor Roosevelt beat her cousin Alice at her own game by using good manners to deflate Alice's rudeness. When some particularly cutting remarks made by Alice reached Eleanor's ears, the First Lady responded by writing her cousin a note expressing concern that her guest been unhappy over latest visit to the White House. Eleanor urged Alice not to feel in any way obligated to accept any further invitations, kindly assuring her that there would be no hard feelings should Alice prefer to keep her distance.

Of course the idea of it being known that she had been barred from the White House was too much for Alice to bear. She replied with a groveling note insisting that she must have been misquoted somehow. Ultimately it was FDR who banned Alice from any further visits after she publicly compared him unfavorably to Hitler.

by Anonymousreply 31September 23, 2014 7:15 PM

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

by Anonymousreply 32September 23, 2014 7:51 PM

"He loves nature, in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

by Anonymousreply 33September 23, 2014 7:52 PM

"There is nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." - Jack E. Leonard

by Anonymousreply 34September 23, 2014 7:53 PM

A theater director to a young Katharine Hepburn - "Don't just do something, stand there!"

by Anonymousreply 35September 23, 2014 7:59 PM

Barbara Thorndyke loved to quote Dorothy Parker. She'd get a kick out of this thread.

by Anonymousreply 36September 23, 2014 8:14 PM

Violet, the Dowager Countess on Downton Abbey is a master of this.

Violet: You are quite wonderful, the way you see room for improvement wherever you look. I never knew such reforming zeal.

Isobel: I take that as a compliment.

Violet (under her breath as Isobel walks away): I must have said it wrong.

by Anonymousreply 37September 23, 2014 9:08 PM

"Oh, dear."

by Anonymousreply 38September 23, 2014 9:09 PM

R17. Yeah, closeted gay as a goose John Gielgud...Ingrid Bergman, 3-time Academy Award winner, iconic legend of the silver screen and beloved for generators, couldn't act. Right.

by Anonymousreply 39September 23, 2014 9:21 PM


Ingrid Bergman was a generator icon.

by Anonymousreply 40September 23, 2014 9:26 PM

At a social gathering, James McNeill Whistler (the guy who painted his mother) said something particularly witty that had everyone laughing.

Oscar Wilde: I wish I'd said that.

Whistler: You will, Oscar, you will.

by Anonymousreply 41September 23, 2014 9:32 PM

At a dinner party, Oscar Wilde, as usual, was completely monopolizing the conversation. When he finally paused briefly, W.S. Gilbert (of Gilbert and Sullivan) interjected "I wish I could talk like you -- I'd keep my mouth shut and claim it as a virtue."

"Ah, but that would be selfish," Wilde replied. "I could deny myself the pleasure of talking but I could never deny the others the pleasure of listening."

by Anonymousreply 42September 23, 2014 9:45 PM

R39, you twat. Gielgud was so far past an "Oscar" that when they gave him one he roared. His comment may have been unfair, but your ignorance of his skill and capacity for judgment is compounded by your insolent assumption that in a difficult time he was closeted. He never was closeted. And he handled being arrested for tea-room sex with dignity.

So fuck you, you homophobic asshole. "Gay as a goose"? Do you know where you are, you cunt?

F&F this person.

by Anonymousreply 43September 23, 2014 9:51 PM

I feel the need to correct this:

Lady Astor to Churchill "Winston, if you were my husband I would flavour your coffee with poison" Churchill: "Madam, if I were your husband, I should drink it"

by Anonymousreply 44September 23, 2014 10:06 PM

This hoary old story has been around for decades because I first heard it back in the '70s. Over the years I've heard the lady in question given variously as Dorothy Parker, Libby Holman, Judy Garland, Sylvia Miles, Cherry Vanilla, Bette Midler, Liza, etc., etc. etc.

At any rate our Famous Diva is out on the town with her usual entourage and eventually they pile into a restaurant or coffee shop for a bite to eat. When the waiter asks her how she takes her coffee, she eyes the muscular black server up and down and purrs "I like my coffee the way I like my men." He glances around the table and says "We don't have gay coffee."

by Anonymousreply 45September 23, 2014 11:35 PM

Dorothy Parker was visiting some phony young actress, when Parker was a writer in Hollywood...

The actress had her three year old son on her lap, continually kissing him and touching him, stroking his hair and stopping him from leaving her lap. She made a huge display of her affection for him. She said "I know I am being silly but I can't help myself. He really is the most precious little man, isn't he?"

"Yes", replied Parker. "Strange he never married."

by Anonymousreply 46September 23, 2014 11:49 PM

"I thought she was beautiful. And she's very happy in Alaska. I hope she'll stay there."

--Barbara Bush, asked to comment on Sarah Palin

by Anonymousreply 47September 23, 2014 11:56 PM

And in response to: "Do you have any unexpressed thoughts?"...

"Yes, I'm having one now." Dead eyed stare.

"Frasier" used this, with Niles' being the wit.

by Anonymousreply 48September 23, 2014 11:59 PM

“Ronald Reagan doesn’t dye his hair - he’s just prematurely orange."-- Former US President Gerald Ford

by Anonymousreply 49September 24, 2014 12:03 AM

“So boring, you fall asleep halfway through her name” -- Alan Bennett on Arianna Stassinopoulos Huffington

by Anonymousreply 50September 24, 2014 12:04 AM

Bette Midler on Princess Anne: "She loves nature, in spite of what it did to her."

by Anonymousreply 51September 24, 2014 12:07 AM

Churchill never said any of the putdowns to Lady Astor that have been attributed to him.

by Anonymousreply 52September 24, 2014 12:16 AM

I loved Dorothy Parker's assessment of a Kate Hepburn performance on the stage:

"She ran the gamut of emotions from A to B."

by Anonymousreply 53September 24, 2014 12:23 AM

I don't know who the fat man was who looked at George Bernard Shaw and remarked, "You look like you've been through a famine. And Shaw replied, "you look like you would have caused it."

by Anonymousreply 54September 24, 2014 12:27 AM

At the height of his boxing success, Muhammad Ali and his entourage boarded an airplane and took their seats in first class. The stewardess came by and asked Ali to fasten his seatbest.

"Superman don't need no seatbelt!" The champion joked to his hanagers-on.

"Superman don't need no airplane." Replied the stewardess. "Fasten your seatbelt".

Ali fastened his seatbelt.

by Anonymousreply 55September 24, 2014 3:47 AM

Christ, R43, do you know where YOU are? Has DL ever been a bastion of learned cinephiles and historians who would know that Gielgud was out within the theatre community, closeted everywhere else, because being closeted was almost a necessity at the time in Britain? No. That's not a level of discourse DL achieves or aspires to.

Get a cold compress and lie down, hon. You expect too much from the commentariat.

by Anonymousreply 56September 24, 2014 11:01 AM

"I wish I could be more like you and not care what people think"

by Anonymousreply 57September 24, 2014 12:08 PM

"Let them eat ̶c̶o̶c̶k ̶c̶a̶k cake."

by Anonymousreply 58September 24, 2014 2:59 PM

Well, that was just his wife's opinion.

by Anonymousreply 59September 24, 2014 6:55 PM

Barbara Bush shades Nancy Reagan at a genteel First Ladies' conference:

[quote]I loved my little office because it was—besides being Nancy Reagan’s beauty parlor, which she didn’t like me to say, but it was—the dogs were born here and you could look out the window at Jackson Place and Lafayette Square and you could see all sorts of wonderful things.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 60September 24, 2014 7:22 PM

The legendary actor actor John Barrymore was also a noted wit, womanizer and drunkard. He once stumbled blotto into the ladies room at a bar to take a piss. While peeing, a woman came in and exclaimed "Sir! This is for ladies!" Turning around, dick in hand, he said "So, madame, is this."

Once while performing Richard III, he was heckled from the balcony after saying "My horse, my horse, my kingdom for a horse!" He pointed to the offender and replied in nearly perfect iambic pentameter "Make haste and saddle yonder braying ass!"

by Anonymousreply 61September 25, 2014 5:12 AM

[quote]Isobel: I take that as a compliment. Violet (under her breath as Isobel walks away): I must have said it wrong.

From BUtterfield 8

Mrs. Wandrous: "That's a beautiful suit dear, is that from one of your modeling shows ?"

Gloria: "No, I borrowed it from Steve's girlfriend Norma."

Mrs. Thurber: "There's a girl who won't have a boyfriend for long."

Gloria: "A compliment from you Mrs. Thurber ?"

Mrs. Thurber: "I must've said it wrong."

by Anonymousreply 62September 25, 2014 5:50 AM


They used those anecdotes in MY FAVORITE YEAR though the Alan Swan character was allegedly based on Errol Flynn.

by Anonymousreply 63September 25, 2014 5:53 AM

Alexander Woolcott pointed out Robert Benchley to a newcomer. Indicating the vivacious brunette with him, the newbie said, "And that would be Mrs Benchley?"

"It would," agreed Woolcott. "Unfortunately for her, it IS Mrs Parker."

by Anonymousreply 64September 25, 2014 12:19 PM

Unclench, r43.

by Anonymousreply 65September 25, 2014 12:48 PM

Eat R39's shit if you're so approving of it, R65.

by Anonymousreply 66September 25, 2014 1:05 PM

On the one hand, we have the general theme of this thread. On the other, R65 and R66's alternative.

by Anonymousreply 67September 25, 2014 1:16 PM

So true, R67. Please pardon my offense. Implicit homophobia on a gay site, for some reason, tends to remove the dryness from my speech. Perhaps the delightfully free-of-discrimination lives of most of the people quoted here (and Wilde is the exception) permitted them a better environment for their wit.

And then there's aiming at the level of one's audience.

by Anonymousreply 68September 25, 2014 1:36 PM

A film critic on the leads in THE LAST TIME I SAW PARIS: "Miss Taylor is exceptionally beautiful and cannot act which gives her (a) one up on her co-star Van Johnson."

When approached by reporters and told that former president Calvin Coolidge was dead, Dorothy Parker commented, "How could they tell ... ?"

Noel Coward on Strasberg's 'Method' actors: "Really, if they must have deep motivation, think of one's paycheck come Friday."

On her father, President Theodore Roosevelt, Alice Roosevelt Longworth said this: "Daddy wants to be the bride at every wedding, the corpse at every funeral, and the baby at every christening."

At a gathering, actress Jean Harlow greeted the writer Margot Aisquith with a mispronounciation of her first name using a hard T to which Aisquith allegedly responded, "No dear, the T is silent like in Harlow (harlot)."

by Anonymousreply 69September 25, 2014 11:47 PM

President Calvin Coolidge was known for disliking small talk, and being a quiet man in general. Some people considered this to be a challenge, like a society woman who was once seated next to him at dinner...

Society Woman: "I've bet our host that I can get you to say more than two words!"

Coolidge: "You lose."

He didn't talk to her again that night.

by Anonymousreply 70September 26, 2014 4:34 AM

A modest little person, with much to be modest about.

by Anonymousreply 71September 28, 2014 12:24 PM

Instead of being born again, why don't you just grow up?

by Anonymousreply 72November 11, 2014 11:46 PM

[quote]They used those anecdotes in MY FAVORITE YEAR though the Alan Swan character was allegedly based on Errol Flynn.

In one of David Niven's funny exposés, he talked about Errol Flynn and John Barrymore being so drunk at a party, they both peed on the sofa.

It might be hard to tell which of the two chronic alcoholics Swan represented.

by Anonymousreply 73November 12, 2014 12:10 AM

"I only came to see the asp."

Charles Addams at the premiere of Cleopatra

by Anonymousreply 74November 12, 2014 1:20 AM

I just wanted to revive this great thread by posting a set of witty insults from another source online. My favorite in the list:

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp posts; for support rather than illumination." -Andrew Lang

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 75January 7, 2015 11:23 AM

Thanks for the bump R75. I missed this the first time around.

by Anonymousreply 76January 8, 2015 12:40 AM

You're very welcome!

by Anonymousreply 77January 8, 2015 12:47 AM

Thou dankish hasty-witted death-token!

by Anonymousreply 78January 10, 2015 1:13 AM

Reporter 'How can you play the piano with all those rings on your finger?'

Liberace 'Very well indeed!'

That's from Behind the Candelabra. Don't know if Liberace actually said it.

by Anonymousreply 79January 10, 2015 2:28 AM

“Oh, dear God, you don't actually have a brain, do you, it's more a filigreed spiderweb, with little chambers in it where trained monkeys play the pipe organ.” ― Glen David Gold, from Carter Beats the Devil

by Anonymousreply 80January 10, 2015 7:09 AM

Is anyone else hearing a choir of sad trombones on this thread?

by Anonymousreply 81January 10, 2015 7:28 AM


by Anonymousreply 82August 1, 2016 3:06 AM

Dorothy Parker reviewed books in her column as "Constant Reader"; her review for "Winnie the Pooh" was "Tonstant Weader frowed up".

by Anonymousreply 83August 1, 2016 4:22 AM

I love that rare time when the wit gets outwitted. Here is an exchange of telegrams between George Bernard Shaw and actress Cornelia Otis Skinner, who was enjoying great success in Shaw's "Candida" on Broadway in 1935.

Shaw: "Excellent! Greatest!"

Skinner: "A million thanks but undeserving such praise."

Shaw: "I meant the play."

Skinner: "So did I."

by Anonymousreply 84August 1, 2016 3:58 PM

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

by Anonymousreply 85August 1, 2016 5:12 PM

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

by Anonymousreply 86August 1, 2016 5:13 PM

“You, sir, are an oxygen thief!”

by Anonymousreply 87August 1, 2016 5:15 PM

"No brains. A real asshole casserole."

by Anonymousreply 88August 1, 2016 5:18 PM

"If you can't laugh at yourself, I'd be glad to do it for you."

by Anonymousreply 89August 1, 2016 5:20 PM

“He is dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.”

by Anonymousreply 90August 1, 2016 5:21 PM

"Keir Dullea, gone tomorrow!" -- Noel Coward on the set of "Bunny Lake is Missing" after being really irritated by Keir Dullea's narcissistic behavior

"Oh, the name alone! What does it mean?" -- Carrie Fisher, when asked to say something scathing about Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Miss Hepburn ran the gamut of emotions from A to B." -- Dorothy Parker, reviewing Katharine Hepburn on Broadway in "The Lake"

by Anonymousreply 91August 1, 2016 6:26 PM

During the beginning of the filming of Lifeboat Mary Anderson asked Alfred Hitchcock what he thought "is my best side." He dryly responded, "You're sitting on it, my dear."

by Anonymousreply 92August 1, 2016 6:42 PM

Re OP: But Jill Bennett was just a teenager at the time.

by Anonymousreply 93April 16, 2018 7:04 AM

Some of these aren't dry insults at all. A number of you aren't very clear on the concept.

by Anonymousreply 94April 16, 2018 7:15 AM

Gore Vidal to (the very Irish catholic, very social climbing) Dominick Dunne at a very fancy luncheon: "Why is it, do you suppose, that all Irish Catholics are all social climbers? Is it because their mothers are all chambermaids? (Pause.) Oh, of course I don't mean you..."

by Anonymousreply 95April 16, 2018 7:18 AM

Queen Victoria on her Prime Minister, William Ewart Gladstone: "Mr. Gladstone speaks to me as if I were a public meeting."

by Anonymousreply 96April 16, 2018 7:18 AM

"A theater director to a young Katharine Hepburn - "Don't just do something, stand there!"

AHHHHHH so Carrie Fisher stole shit too.....this was attributed to her.

by Anonymousreply 97April 16, 2018 7:28 AM

Dorothy Parker on Tallulah Bankhead: "She is the proverbial good time that was had by all."

Constance Bennett, after seeing Marilyn Monroe in 'Niagara': "Now there's a broad with a great future behind her."

by Anonymousreply 98April 16, 2018 7:38 AM

We had hoped that Star would leave with dignity. Star chose another way.

by Anonymousreply 99April 16, 2018 7:51 AM

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

Dorothy Parker

by Anonymousreply 100April 16, 2018 8:16 AM

Response from Dennis Healey, a British Labour Party cabinet minister, on being attacked in Parliament by the Conservative Geoffrey Howe in 1978: "Like being savaged by a dead sheep" .

by Anonymousreply 101April 16, 2018 2:48 PM

On Dame Edna Everage's show guest Jeffrey Archer ended a story with 'well, you have to laugh at yourself'. Dame Edna,' 'Well, Jeffrey if you don't laugh at yourself, you're missing the joke of the century!'

by Anonymousreply 102April 16, 2018 5:50 PM

John Gielgud was having lunch with Dame Athene Seyler. 'And how are you, John?' 'Oh, my dear, absolutely terrible! I'm doing nothing but wine and dine the old bags of stage and screen! Monday, Sybil Thorndike; Tuesday, Faye Compton; Wednesday, Athene Seyler......but of course I don't mean you, Athene!'

by Anonymousreply 103April 16, 2018 5:53 PM

The story behind the name of Kenneth Williams' Acid Drops collection is good: a vicar was sharing his train compartment with a group of actresses appearing in a pantomime of Dick Whittington. He was sharing his bag of acid drops (bitter/sweet English candies) with them as he asked questions of the pretty actresses. 'So which one of you takes the part of the Cat'?, ;Which one of you takes the role of the sweetheart?' etc until he got to 'And which one of you takes Dick?' to which one of the actresses replied 'We all do dear, but not for acid drops'.

by Anonymousreply 104April 16, 2018 6:16 PM

r194 Poor, befogged vicars, where would we be without them? Thanks for including the explanation of the title, I re-read the book occasionally, and it is always entertaining and mordantly funny. I'm sorry Williams(a good friend to DL fave Maggie Smith) is no longer with us, but there's a large selection of videos where he shines.

by Anonymousreply 105April 16, 2018 7:10 PM

It's 1978, and Joan Crawford is still dead and deserves every minute of it.

Waylon Flowers (speaking through Madame)

by Anonymousreply 106April 16, 2018 8:08 PM

Dry insults can be aimed at places as well as people. One that's always makes me chuckle is Maggie Trudeau's comment about 24 Sussex Drive in Ottawa where she lived as the unhappy wife of Prime-minister Pierre Trudeau: it's the crown jewel of the Canadian penitentiary system.

by Anonymousreply 107April 16, 2018 8:30 PM

My apologies, that r194 should be r104.

by Anonymousreply 108April 27, 2018 12:41 PM

A handful of supporting actors in a Noel Coward play were squabbling over the order of their billing on the show's posters. Several were upset that one was demanding the special distinction of having her name appear last, inside a box with the word "and" above it Coward finally declared that if he heard one more complaint about billing, the offending performer's name would appear on the posters inside a box with the word "but" above it.

by Anonymousreply 109April 27, 2018 1:27 PM

More, more!

by Anonymousreply 110May 11, 2021 5:52 PM

Gene Kelly character's response to a woman offering a place to stay in town...."Madam, I had a nice clean place to stay....and I left it, to come here."

by Anonymousreply 111May 11, 2021 6:13 PM

[italic]Wizard of Oz[/italic] munchkin: I'd like to fuck you, little girl!

Judy Garland: If you do and I find out about it . . .

by Anonymousreply 112October 13, 2021 3:53 PM

from the 1984 film of A PASSAGE TO INDIA--Dr. Aziz and Mrs. Moore are discussing the wife of the town's main official, Mrs. Turton, who is a snobbish bitch:

DR. AZIZ: (Trying to be nice) "Oh, Mrs. Turton! She is a very nice woman."

MRS. MOORE: (hesitating) "Perhaps... when one knows her better..."

by Anonymousreply 113October 13, 2021 4:24 PM

Oh, what fun to revisit these hoary chestnuts!

by Anonymousreply 114October 13, 2021 5:09 PM

Me at RTD's place: 'OH, look at that cool sculpture! And it's an award of some kind, too!" ... in my most midwestern accent I could dredge up.

by Anonymousreply 115October 13, 2021 5:23 PM

Please welcome to the stage: WHOREY CHESTNUTS

by Anonymousreply 116October 13, 2021 5:24 PM

r116, that would be a good name for a Backstreet Boys tribute band...

by Anonymousreply 117October 13, 2021 5:28 PM

We do need to credit Gielgud with "I'll alert the media". I often use "the novelty of you has worn off". I work with actors who I often remind that their attitude is disproportionate to their talent.

by Anonymousreply 118October 13, 2021 5:40 PM

^He didn’t write “Arthur.”

by Anonymousreply 119October 13, 2021 5:42 PM

I've read that catty comment Gielgud made about Bergman but I wonder if it's an urban legend oft repeated. I just read an article about Bergman where Gielgud is quoted as follows: " She was without conceit. She acted in about five different languages and didn't really know any of them."

A dig probably, but a different kind. He directed her in The Constant Wife in London and on Broadway.

Coward was right about Kier Dullea. He faded quickly.

by Anonymousreply 120October 13, 2021 6:30 PM
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.


Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!