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Examples of boundaries that are stated by lesbian womyn

I don't think any of the lesbians I've ever known were obsessed with boundaries. Is it just a DL joke or is it a typical mindset for them? What are some examples? Do you meet you and immediately tell you "I am stating my boundaries, you must NOT use the words penis and rape in my presence. They trigger." If so, that makes for an awkward introduction.

by Anonymousreply 5102/23/2021

The joke originated in a much loved thread about a MichFest Discussion Board thread, where a bunch of the women were having a big argument with a poster who called herself Rainsong. One of them finally just let Rainsong (who was apparently a big troublemaker) have it, and she ended her post by writing, "I have stated my boundaries, Rainsong. Please respect them. I have just stated my boundaries again."

Naturally, this became an instant (and huge) DL meme. Radical lesbians (NOT your average nice rank-and-file lesbians who haunt DL, but the crazy kind who go to MichFest) are obsessed with rules and regulations, as you will find out if you ever learn about MichFest: there are so many rules posted about where you can pitch your tent and how far from other people and what food you can bring and share, and how to clean up after yourself--it is completely insane. Indeed, the biggest obsession among some MichFesters is about whether trannies are literally allowed across the borders of MichFest on "The Land"--they even for years had a Border Patrol who would be on the constant lookout for trannies--if they saw one, they would point and start shouting, "MAN ON THE LAND! MAN ON THE LAND!" I am not making this up.) Most radical lesbians have been in therapy, and believe in it strongly, and that's where they learn about imposing rules (called "boundaries" in therapy-speak) in their emotional lives.

by Anonymousreply 106/15/2014

Stop the wounding!!!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 206/15/2014

Those mitchlezzes sound like they would make great mother-in-laws.

by Anonymousreply 306/15/2014

This is already a snoozer.

by Anonymousreply 406/15/2014

Someone spice things up QUICK for r4!

Remember: our whole reason for coming here is just to entertain her!!!

by Anonymousreply 506/15/2014

Please don't stain the sacred lotus petal trail of my Inner Goddess with your semen-stained carbon footprints!

by Anonymousreply 606/15/2014

R1 And we laughed, and we laughed, and we laughed........

by Anonymousreply 706/15/2014

OP, why did you post this thread now?

by Anonymousreply 806/15/2014

I think at its core, MichFest was a good idea. And I think the idea that they want to accommodate as many different types of women as possible and make everyone feel comfortable is also commendable.

It's just that in the process of doing so, they've spun out of control in the rule making area.

I'm sure plenty of them are batshit crazy, but it's not like MichFesters are the only ones. There are plenty of headcases here among the men of DL.

by Anonymousreply 906/15/2014

I don't know R8, boundaries seem a popular topic here and I was wondering if it's really something lesbians do. If so, the admittedly small amount of lesbians I know are outliers because they never state boundaries.

by Anonymousreply 1006/15/2014

Pish posh. I have no boundaries. I'm free to be for you and me.

why I've saved this link all these years is still a mystery

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 1106/15/2014

My old high school/college girlfriend and her partner go every year and have for several decades (we both came out in college). They are bright, educated and fun women with great senses of humor. My guess is they go, they pay their way, they pitch in with whatever volunteer work they are expected to do, and stay away from the crazies. I've never asked them for details, as it feels like it would be intrusive. They are not man-haters by any means--I think they began going when they were both getting involved in women-centered culture and my ex- sings with a local Chicago women's chorus (Artemis). So, I think we mainly are privy to the most absurd end of it all--just like people who would try to generalize about gay men on the basis of the most provocative types in the pride parades--there are also lots of guys there who simply march in their polo shirts and jeans, and live fairly quiet, but happy lives.

by Anonymousreply 1206/15/2014

OP, you could have posted this later.

by Anonymousreply 1306/15/2014

I don't get what you're trying to tell me R8.

Is this the "NOW so I don't have to tell you THEN" joke?

by Anonymousreply 1406/15/2014

Not to worry, R8. I think this ship is sinking.

by Anonymousreply 1506/15/2014

One thing I've noticed with quite a few lesbians is that they expect people to be mind-readers and have a hair-trigger response when this expectation is not met. Everyone is supposed to KNOW that these women would react negatively (or at all) to certain subjects. People should KNOW that something mentioned in passing or humorously referenced would "wound" to use a DL term. They demand a level of constant emotional vigilance and acute sensitivity that simply doesn't exist in the normal course of human interaction.

I find it, and them, exhausting.

by Anonymousreply 1606/15/2014

Usually they believe they should have unfettered access to straight women, but trans women should not be allowed near them.

by Anonymousreply 1702/22/2021

I agree with r16, the level of emotional attention they demand is exhausting. Also the talking, all the talking and re-talking and talking some more, hours and hours of it. Are they afraid if they stop talking they'll die?

by Anonymousreply 1802/22/2021

I think there is evidence of this in the constant vigilance of DL threads that joke about lesbian stereotypes. Coming here and repeatedly posting in each one that they are inaccurate and NOT FUNNY is an indirect confirmation many comments about the rigidity and obsession with boundaries is somewhat correct.

by Anonymousreply 1902/22/2021

'Stating boundaries' isn't really a specifically lesbian thing, since Michfest wasn't a specific lesbian thing. Its a 'type of women who used to go to Michfest' thing.

by Anonymousreply 2002/22/2021

By the time Michfest ended it was pretty lesbian.

by Anonymousreply 2102/22/2021

One thing I thought was weird about Michfest was that though they hated trans women, trans racialism seemed to be present enough that they would have to state that a breast-casting was for womyn of color born womyn of color THIS LIFETIME ONLY.

Was that done for one person or was there a sizable contingent of White-to-Native-American Womyn there?

by Anonymousreply 2202/22/2021

So did they finally allow trans women on the land? Or did they have to stay in a certain area with a multitude of guidelines?

by Anonymousreply 2302/22/2021

What about men in dresses? Do they get a classification?

by Anonymousreply 2402/22/2021

I don't know if this is really a "boundary" but I have noticed that Lesbians like to crash gay bars even if a Lesbian bar is next door. But when gay men go to the lesbian bar the women throw a fit. Also I knew a gay (male) couple who once went to Guerneville for the weekend and rented a cabin and turns out is was "lesbian weekend" and my friends said the lesbians practically ran them out of town with their rudeness and macho attitudes.

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by Anonymousreply 2502/23/2021

Jesus, the trannys are really stepping up their hate of dykes here.

by Anonymousreply 2602/23/2021

Yes, they're incredibly hostile to men in their 'spaces' but don't believe men should have a right to spaces free from women.

Their boundaries are really only for them.

by Anonymousreply 2702/23/2021

R27 Christ. All over the world there are spaces only for men.

by Anonymousreply 2802/23/2021

R10/OP yeah, I’m more like the lesbians you know. In fact I’ve been told by hetero friends that my boundaries aren’t strong enough, and I keep letting people walk all over me. Maybe I need an Elderlez Michfester to teach me the Medicine...🤔

Now I’m wondering if this trope could be related to age and politics. Older gay women had to battle for their rights, and usually grew up with more strident feminism that afforded them respect. Today women are expected (and sadly often capitulate) to sit down, shut up, be quiet and leave when men tell them to, otherwise face violence and cancellation and deprivation. It’s currently a regressive and hostile social environment for lesbians.

by Anonymousreply 2902/23/2021

R27 does the statistic ‘99% of sexual violence is committed by males’ mean anything to you?

You don’t need protection from hordes of women. You just don’t.

by Anonymousreply 3002/23/2021

[quote] They demand a level of constant emotional vigilance and acute sensitivity that simply doesn't exist in the normal course of human interaction.

If you emotionally ‘wound’, upset or embarrass a straight man, he’ll likely threaten or attempt to kill you. What’s your point?

by Anonymousreply 3102/23/2021

R30 proving the point! Boundaries for womyn, not for gay men!

by Anonymousreply 3202/23/2021

Exactly, R28 and R30. It's interesting that some people on DL now see things much as Nan Michiganwomyn might have done, it's just that she and her fellow Michfesters saw it first. The worst thing the Michfesters ever did was tie themselves up in knots with their rules, and give DLers a good laugh while they were at it.

by Anonymousreply 3302/23/2021

[quote]It's interesting that some people on DL now see things much as Nan Michiganwomyn might have done

No actual gay men on Datalounge see anything as Nan would've seen it.

by Anonymousreply 3402/23/2021

^ Actually, "fellow" is an attributive noun, but you get my drift.

by Anonymousreply 3502/23/2021

R34 Pay attention.

by Anonymousreply 3602/23/2021

Sorry, R34, I should have been clearer. Obviously, you're right in that gay men and Nan don't share much overall: gay men don't fetishise rules in the style of Michfest, etc. I meant that the women there were on to something with regard to transgenderism and women's spaces. Gay men have only woken up to this more recently.

by Anonymousreply 3702/23/2021

R37 We knew what you mean.

by Anonymousreply 3802/23/2021

None of the gay men who were contributing to Michfest threads back when are today whining about 'womyn's spaces' on Datalounge.

by Anonymousreply 3902/23/2021

[quote][R27] does the statistic ‘99% of sexual violence is committed by males’ mean anything to you? You don’t need protection from hordes of women. You just don’t.

So if there was protection at Michfest -- like guards -- you'd support allowing men in?

You're just back to explaining why womyn can have spaces but gay men can't.

by Anonymousreply 4002/23/2021

I knew several lesbians who used to attend Michfest regularly. It sounds like it was fun.

by Anonymousreply 4102/23/2021

They would allow myn.

by Anonymousreply 4202/23/2021

Look at LChat. They list what you can and can’t talk about.

by Anonymousreply 4302/23/2021

Read them in this very thread.

by Anonymousreply 4402/23/2021

If you look up DataLounge on LChat, R43, they bemoan the fact that it's much funnier than their site!

by Anonymousreply 4502/23/2021

No gay men go to LChat. But lesbians come here. They want the free-wheelin' attitude to everything -- except themselves.

They're fine with a million threads bashing gay men and trans women with no censorship, but one joke about them and it's NOT FUNNY.

by Anonymousreply 4602/23/2021

Weak people are usually obssessed with boundaries, rules and regulations and controlling words, actions and thoughts of others.

Other people are responsible for their happiness or unhappiness, comfort or discomfort.

It's the good ol' victim mentality and lesbians are disproportionately infected by it.

by Anonymousreply 4702/23/2021


by Anonymousreply 4802/23/2021

Performative victimhood is key lesbian trait.

by Anonymousreply 4902/23/2021

The only time I’ve ever almost been in a physical altercation was in a lesbian bar. I’ve always considered gay spaces pretty much open and accepting, but watch out if you are male and asked to go to a lesbian bar.

by Anonymousreply 5002/23/2021

Why was this thread bumped after nearly seven years?

by Anonymousreply 5102/23/2021
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