Affair with a married man

Tell is more about him? Is he emotionally connected to you as well? Do you guys meet without sex involved? Does he say he loves his wife and life with her? What age range are you both? Is he a construction worker or a banker or what? Do you love him?

[quote] He claims his wife knows he's bi and that they have an "understanding."

They have 2 kids. They do NOT have an understanding. He's a liar

You're heading for heartbreak. He's a bi/gay guy who wants his cake and wants to eat it too. He probably a closet case whose wife think he 125 percent hetty.It's not a good idea to cheat but if you do do so with someone who doesn't have such a conflicted/half assed bullshit story.

This will turn out great OP. I hope his wife finds out and brings the kids with her to confront you while your parnter is there.

[quote]They have 2 kids. They do NOT have an understanding. He's a liar.

This.

I agree with R2. Calling bullshit on that she knows, and she's ok with it crap. Anyone with kids nowadays, do not have this type of understanding. Childless couples sure. Not ones with kids. He's doing this on the side. She doesn't have any clue he's Bi, or to what is going on.

I hooked up with a married man shortly after I broke up with someone else. He lived in small town, and his wife had an understanding that he was bi. Though we didn't do anything unsafe, he was paranoid about disease. We kept in touch.

Fast forward six months, and he found out he was HIV positive (and probably had been when we hooked up). The "understanding" was revealed for what it was - his own rationalization. They're staying together, and at least one of the reasons is that their friends will be curious about why their gloriously perfect relationship fell apart. And they don't want to answer that question.

I've stopped contacting him because he kept talking about why he wasn't gay, and it was always really insulting to me. In reality, he wants to be fucking guys, but he likes how everyone sees he and his wife as totally normal upstanding bedrocks of their small town.

Did he transmit HIV to his wife, R7? I'm curious why she would stay after that. And I agree that this man is lying about having an understanding with his wife. With the exception of showbiz, all the women I know would NEVER let their man fuck other dudes.

I can get you a really good deal on the Golden Gate Bridge or the Statue of Liberty if your interested. Call me anytime at 1-800-SUCKER

No, he didn't give her HIV. She stayed because they live in a small town, have 4 kids, and are very visible in their community. Also, I think they have very real affection for each other. She's also now trapped in her job because he works for himself and needs her insurance.

R2

THIS ^

I'm gunna have to call bullshit. Why can't you gays just stay out of other peoples relationships? In fact, how do you even trust someone who is willing to go above and beyond the call of duty, just to lie to YOU and their spouse. That's how you get AIDS.

No, R11, you get AIDS from having unprotected sex in all sorts of situations.

You're both horrible and selfish.

The problem with love is you have to take people at their worst in order to enjoy them at their best and I find that only works in a committed relationship. I think in this situation you all really have to communicate clearly and honestly what your expectations are, and if you all agree I think you can continue. Problem is I would think you both want to give less and get more than possible when you actually honestly talk about it. I know some couples for whom this type of lifestyle works, and others who failed.

OP, Are you really that naive or just stupid, or a weaver of fairy tales ?

EVERYBODY Lies

R12

I understand that.

What I'm saying is that, if he'll cheat to be with you, he'll probably cheat on you. How can you trust someone who CLEARLY shows you that he's a liar. An "arraignment" LOL, Op fails to inform us on what terms is this "arraignment". I don't know any straight woman who will let her man sleep with another woman, let alone man. Sorry.

Come on it's one thing if you seeing a married or partnered person and he claims he is going to leave his partner/spouse. Or he is in love with you and wants to be with you etc....

The stats are pretty clear. 40% of men cheat on their spouses.

Given those odds it's hardly unlikely that a married couple would have an arrangement.

A couple hours of sex and conversation every two weeks isn't threatening OPs relationship with his partner. Why assume it's threatening the married man's relationship?

On the other hand - if OP leaves his partner and the married guy leaves his wife so they can be together get ready for a repeat performance. From one or both of them.

stick with unqtaked gayz er els yer fuckeed

Some people will believe anything......over and over and over again. Wise up, fool.

OP, you're no better than your p.o.s. married(lying) side piece. I hope your partner throws your sorry ass out. Trash!

OP, this is what will happen: The wife will hunt you down and shoot you between the eyes.

[quote]but we have a don't ask, don't tell arrangement.

Has your partner actually agreed to this? I can imagine being open but it would have to depend on full honesty/disclosure.

I suspect both your partner and your fuckbud's wife have no clue.

R23

This ^

[quote] An "arraignment" LOL, Op fails to inform us on what terms is this "arraignment".

the married guy was a cop, and op was guilty of using his last towel and eating his swedish meatballs.

[quote] On the other hand - if OP leaves his partner and the married guy leaves his wife so they can be together get ready for a repeat performance. From one or both of them.

I doubt he'd leave the wife, but if he did he would end up cheating on OP because would want to experience his brand new coming out with lots of other guys

This is so cliché

Been with my married man 23 years, see him almost daily, just gets better

How did you two meet?

omg, OP, lol, you have frightend the frau fish on here by exposing their worst nightmare. Of course she knows and allows it, because to confront him and divorce would mean her gravy train would end and she would have to work like everyone else.

She is another frau fish who wants to find her worth bossing people 1/3 of her age around and making like she is indispensible as a "mom" when she couldnt hold a man and he is getting his ass filled by cock.

Wifey ALWAYS knows. Usually they are honest enough to reach an understanding… But the last thing they want is the gravy train to end… that is why she burped out the spawn.

R25 its TURKEY meatballs.

Married men rarely leave their wives for other men. If they do it is only temporary. They then "come out" and move on to a more suitable mate that isn't tarnished by memories of infidelity and drama. Or they "freak out" and go back to the security/dishonesty of a heterosexual relationship.

[quote]the married guy was a cop, and op was guilty of using his last towel and eating his swedish meatballs.

That's not true. They were turkey meatballs and the Swedes don't use turkey in their meatballs.

I can believe that there's an arrangement in place. Many wives/girlfriends of gay porn stars prefer they perform in all-male porn because there is less chance of their gay4pay/bi man forming a relationship with a co-star. Similarly, I can see how a wife/girlfriend of a bi man may feel the same way: the men her man has sex with are no competition to her because they can't provide him with what she can. The truth is most bi men see their same-sex encounters in purely sexual terms, as NSA sex or kink, and almost always less meaningful than their opposite sex relationships. So the wife/girlfriend may view such an arrangement as less threatening to their primary relationship.

I have lots of gay friends, many in the female beauty/fashion world. They know women pretty well - often better than we know ourselves, I am afraid.

Here's their consensus opinion on this sort of thing --

1 - The women know their guy is bi, they can tell in bed by what he's interested in.

2 - Most arrangements are unspoken, meaning she knows what he's doing, but looks the other way. The reason for the arrangement: the guy's income. Period. No other reason.

3 - Spoken arrangements mean the relationship is over in everything but name.

4 - Know of one case where the woman just kept fighting for the marriage and the guy got old and the behavior diminished considerably. She just outlasted his hormones, I guess. Plus, she very intelligently created a whole social life for him. They don't have kids so I don't know how she did it.

5 - Same advice for women as for gay men - get involved with a married man at your own risk. Too much heartache.

6 - In community property states like CA, the disincentive to leave the marriage is huge. Especially if the guy's income took off after the marriage, so there's no prenuptial. He has to be VERY RICH to replace her with a brand new trophy wife. Most well-off men can't afford this.

Well now that R34 has taken a poll of the gals at lunch today - all our questions are answered.

Have fun, OP. Come back with updates every few months.

You both are cheats. Is that something we should admire?

OP, does his dick taste like fish?

If they have an agreement, you should ask to speak to the wife, just to make sure everything is on the up and up, you know.

But, I can already tell you, she doesn't know. And I can also tell you he's fucking many other men, you aren't the only one. I hate clutch my pearls but if they were childless it would be one thing. When children are involved things move to the next level.

Drop her a line. See how she takes it.

R31 is right. Even if you think he loves you and will leave his wife for you, he's never leaving for you. If he leaves at all, it'll be because he was ready to come out, and he will move right on to someone else. But most likely, he'll stay closeted at least a few more years. Maybe he will eventually pull a Joe Simpson and come out when he's 50 and can be someone's sugar daddy.

So many people telling the OP that if he's cheating on the wife, he'll cheat on the OP.

OP, do you give a rat's ass if your occasional fuckbudy "cheats" on you?

If OP is already cheating on his boyfriend why would he care if his married man cheats on him?

Sounds perfect. Youre both attached. What i don't get it, where does the heart come in? Don't get all drama.

I think the OP is probably just a pathetic troll. He comes to Datalounge for "words of wisdom?" What a stupid fucking troll.

[all posts by childish idiot removed]

I LOVE getting my fuck on with a married man. Nothing feels as exciting as being the mistress. Flood City just thinking about it.

[R2] You "gays" really bitch. Homophobic cunt!

Neither of you has an "arrangement", you're just cheating on your spouses.

I knew this was an old thread before I even opened it.

The 2015/2014 thread bumper strikes again!

You both sound like cheating assholes, OP. If his wife really knew, you’d be able to go in through the front door (not gonna lie, I proposed this arrangement once to a married guy who was into me. He balked, so I ended it before it started.) and what about your poor partner? Does he know you’re potentially spreading diseases to him with your sluttiness?

FF the bumper at r47 and FF him every time he does this shit. Don't flag the thread's OP, FF the bumper. If enough people do this, Muriel can't ignore it.

STOP REPLYING TO 2014 THREADS