The Guy I'm Dating Refrigerates His Mayonnaise!

Is this a parody of another thread?

If not, newsflash : EVERYONE refrigerates their mayonnaise !!!

You guzzle cum. What's a little cold mayo?

Did you put your bologna in his fridge? Woulda served him right, the asshole.

R1, then why bother putting "No refrigeration needed" on the bottle?

Do you refrigerate your bread, too? I bet you do!

Make some homemade mayo and leave it out then eat it. Salmonella is great for slimming down.

Do you know what color your mayonnaise turns if you don't refrigerate it after you open it?

Mayo is in the regular supermarket aisle because its UNOPENED, Einstein OP.

Like a lit of things, once you open it there has to be refrigeration. Mayo contains egg yolks, which can go bad quickly at room temp.

Um... doesn't everyone put mayo in the fridge? I do. Is this not the norm?

"Refrigerate After Opening" on every single jar.

There are plenty of things you're suppose to refrigerate after opening. We keep ours in the fridge. Everyone I know does. But if I went over someone else's house and found it in the panty, I'd mind my business, as it's not my house.

OP, are you insane?

[quote] But if I went over someone else's house and found it in the panty, I'd mind my business, as it's not my house.

As we all would for sure. Mayo in the panty could be indicative of something nasty or contagious.

Mayonnaise in the panty, R10? May I be the first to say "Ewwwwwwwwwwwww"?

The bottles of mayonnaise clearly say "No Refrigeration Needed" and here:

OP...in your trailer park growing up, I am sure that refrigeration was a luxury only to be dreamed about!

However, refrigerating mayonnaise extends its life, and thus is not uncommon to those folks with more than a third grade education and a welfare check.

Next!

OP you are nuts. Just REFRIGERATE THE FUCKING MAYO will you? why are you arguing about this.

No you may not, R13. R12 clearly beat you to it. But, if you search hard enough, you'll find a thread where you'll be able to post a timely response. Just keep your eyes open and your heart will tell you when the time is right.

See, even the jars say not to refrigerate it. If you are, you're doing it wrong.

It gets all congealed and crusty in the fridge. Ew!

OP is brilliant. Now that the Oscars are in our rearview mirror, only mayonnaise can get a rise out of everyone.

Lawd have mercy, opies tryin ta kill us all. L aint never heard nothin bout no mayo in da pantry

It rubs the mayonnaise on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

I've never met a single person in all my life that didn't refrigerate mayo after opening.

It BELONGS in the refrigerator.

Putting mayo in the fridge is like putting bread in the freezer.

Well this will end in tears.

Nothing gets the DL all worked up like mayo.

Food Network says don't leave it out OP. Refrigerate it.

[quote]But if I went over someone else's house and found it in the panty, I'd mind my business, as it's not my house.

I'd know I'd never eat tuna salad, egg salad, or any other sort of sandwich with mayo, deviled eggs, etc. from their house ever.

This never happened.

Mayo as a condiment is bad enough. It's filled with fat and has no flavor.

R28, you in danger, girl!

Ok, don't make fun, but I don't get this - a lot of these things like mayo say refrigerate after opening, but if it has egg yolk, shouldn't it be refrigerated at all times? I don't get why the "after opening" is the deal breaker with mayonnaise not to mention a lot of other products. Point being, any dairy or egg products I put in the fridge immediately. But an someone explain the difference?

OTOH, if I know I'm going to be using butter later on, I'll leave it out for a few hours. Unless your house/apt has no AC, that's totally ok. I can't stand butter that isn't room temp and spreadable.

[quote] There's so many more food items that don't require refrigeration

Yeah, I don't think I'll take the advice of someone who writes like this.

R30, it's pasteurized and sealed, so no salmonella can grow in it. It's a stable emulsion so refrigeration isn't necessary.

But after opening, it's exposed to bacteria and potentially dangerous ones.

I just checked the jar of Hellman's in my fridge, and sure enough, it says "Refrigerate after opening" very clearly.

I've never heard of Blue Plate mayo but Hellmanns says to refrigerate it on the label. I would never take the risk of leaving it out for even an hour especially in warm weather. If I saw it stored open in the pantry of a friend's house I would definitely caution them because I'd just assume they didn't know any better.

This has to be a parody post. No one could be this ignorant, could they? I mean, not understanding that a sealed jar doesn't need refrigeration but, once opened, it does? That mayonnaise goes "bad" if it sits out? That all food PREPARED with mayonnaise should be refrigerated, too? That picnic leftovers that sit out too long should never be eaten? This is grade school stuff.

The refrigerator-less sailor blog is pretty nutzo. Aside from the fact that anyone with $200 for a small solar panel and $40 for a portable 12v cooler could bask in the luxury of cool food, their premise is that they HAVEN'T DIED YET.

Squeeze jars and vegan mayos say "No refrigeration needed"

Glass jars will say to refrigerate after opening.

FYI

R35, the mayonnaise we use are different brands but I've checked and both say that refrigerating isn't necessary.

I think in cheaper brands of mayonnaise, like those big ass jars of Hellman's and stuff, do require refrigeration, but that shit is gross anyway, so what you do with it shouldn't matter.

Blue Plate is a brand of mayonnaise that is made and sold primarily in the south. Of the brands I have checked blue plate is by far the most fattening. I checked the jar I keep in my refrigerator and it said refrigerate after opening. That photograph may have been Photoshopped.

I would never eat some crap chemical laced or flavor challenged mayonnaise that did not need refrigeration. That sounds disgusting.

Where are the Duke's fanatics that always materialize on mayonnaise threads?

I cannot believe OP is really this ignorant. This must be a joke!

Most condiments made with dairy components must be refrigerated. Period. Besides mayo, salad dressings need to be put in the fridge after they're opened.

Even foods without dairy components must be put in the fridge after opening. For example, those non-refrigerated cartons of soymilk, which are sold in 6 or 8 packs at Costco, have to be refrigerated once they're opened.

Cold cuts, cole slaw, opened jars of pickles etc must be refrigerated. This is all common knowledge

Freezing bread isn't a bad idea at all, I heard on either "The Doctors" or "Dr. Oz" show that it's a good idea to freeze bread if you don't eat much and only make a sandwich once in a while. Freezing bread keeps it fresher than in the fridge.

I meant to say: "There are even foods, without dairy components, which must be put in the fridge after opening."

Mayo should not be used on your sandwich. You will always be single. I always thought I was lucky, but it turns out I 'm not. I'm just not a prick.

[quote]Putting mayo in the fridge is like putting bread in the freezer.

Exactly! It's what intelligent people do with mayo and bread.

Unless the bologna OP is eating is grass-fed and pastured/organic, the mayo is the least of his worries.

r37 we have Wildwood Vegan Mayonaisse (aioli) & it's refrigerated when we buy it. So it's always refrigerated. I've not seen the "unrefrigerated" vegan/vegetarian mayo, but I'll take your word for it.

On the shelf in the REFRIGERATED section with our vegan mayo (aoili) are a bunch of other vegan & vegetarian mayos.

OP what brand of mayo do you use that does not require refrigeration??

I refrigerate jam and have been criticized for it.

The oil in the mayonnaise, by the way, maintains a pH level that does not allow bacteria to grow.

I mean, think about it. Restaurants never have their mayonnaise refrigerated. Heck, I went to a Fudruckers once and the mayonnaise was in a pump at the condiment bar.

It does not need to be refrigerated and it should not be refrigerated.

How are you holding up op? It sounds like you've been through a lot

Mayo is disgusting. Just don't eat it at all—problem solved.

OP, you are shit disturber of the highest order.

R48, it's a local brand called Speck's.

But the BF uses the Hellman's squeeze bottle mayo, and I googled it and it clearly says on the bottle that it doesn't need to be refrigerated!

made from eggs , should be in fridge . he far smarter than you and he should leave you because anyone that would take time to make a post about something so stupid means you are a moron.

[quote]I mean, think about it. Restaurants never have their mayonnaise refrigerated. Heck, I went to a Fudruckers once and the mayonnaise was in a pump at the condiment bar.It does not need to be refrigerated and it should not be refrigerated. by: OP

Well, no wonder you want to dump him. I mean, he's got to live up to the high standards of the Fuddrucker's aesthetic.

This disgusts me almost as much as raisins in waffles.

R50 is totally wrong. Do not listen to his nonsense about ph. More food poisoning comes from bad mayo than almost any other food product.

R56, because I went to a Fudrucker's once? I'm taking it you don't have friends or coworkers or family, and never go places you don't necessarily desire. Sad story. It'll get better guy, don't worry.

OP is poor and uneducated, we ought to be more considerate and tolerant.

From the Mayo Clinic:

[quote]Commercially produced mayonnaise is an unlikely cause of food poisoning. This is because it is made with pasteurized eggs, which are heat treated to kill harmful bacteria, such as salmonella. It also has a high level of acidity — from ingredients such as vinegar or lemon juice — which inhibits bacteria growth.

I think jars of mayo you buy at a store for home use are different in formulation (and packaging) from shelf stable mayo in little packets and in big dispensers at cafeterias and Fuddruckers. (But what do I know? I'm no mayo expert.)

Can't imagine not refrigerating mayo after you open a jar for the first time.

If this was supposed to be a parody of the bread in the freezer post, you should have "confronted" him about it, OP.

Blue Plate is the dollar store version of Hellmann's. It even copies the look on the label. OP is trash.

What's the correlation, R64? I don't use Blue Plate, I've never even heard of it. Because it came up in a Google search and I posted it as an example, I'm trash.

Your logic would indicate that you are stupid, so there.

[quote]because I went to a Fudrucker's once?

It evidently became the standard for you of condiment storage, and all based on just that one visit!

It must have made quite an impression!

I wouldn't trust the Mayo clinic to conduct their own study. Do you really think that they're going to find something wrong with their own product?

It bothers me that Lisa Whelchel thinks that Whataburger is the ne plus ultra of fine dining, when she could have had just as sumptuous a feast and also have learned all about mayonnaise storage had her kids just brought her here.

R67 is a masterpiece of "is he trolling or is he serious?"

Bravo, R67, bravo.

[quote]Did you put your bologna in his fridge? Woulda served him right, the asshole.

R3, what? You don't put bologna in the fridge?

Or was that a dick joke?

As an aside, if you plan to do some micro work and will be culturing, pick up some mayonnaise. It is an excellent medium for culturing things like Methicillin-Resistant Staphylococcus aureus, Ebola or even Anthax.

It really doesn't need to be refrigerated unless you plan to be careful

OP, you asshole! Now I'm craving a fucking bologna and mayo sandwich, and it's 3 am!

Would you use refrigerated or non refrigerated mayo r72? Answer carefully. This is important.

Where have you been? Everybody knows the best place for a masturbatory fling is in a fresh minted lukewarm jar of mayo. There's nothing like sticking your cock in there & going to town. The mayo you keep in refrigerator, dumbshit OP, is the one you eat. The one in the cupboard is the one you use as a com bucket. I have to educate everybody around here!

Did you and your boyfriend fuck after or before arguing about the mayo?

Of course refrigerated, R73. I'm not an animal!

[quote] I was going to make me a bologna and mayonnaise sandwich for lunch

You live large.

*rolls eyes*

OP Set out a platter of cold cuts, Velveeta slices and deviled egg halves. Coat everything liberally in your favorite brand of mayonnaise, or "sandwich spread". Season to taste. Place the platter in a location with a good western exposure, leave it undisturbed until it's achieved the desired level of translucency and is warm to the touch. If you can see yourself clearly enough to pluck your eyebrows, you're there. Set the tweezers aside, and dig in!

This thread is doing wonders for the gay stereotype.

I refrigerate my cereal!

Then I even eat it!

I lied, I do refrigerate my mayo, I'm so ashamed, please forgive me.

So long as you eat your wet cereal for breakfast

I refrigerate my eye drops in the summer....

I refrigerate my lube in the winters

I think we all can agree the OP is a white trash moron who is trolling. Somehow these stupid food threads always get a rise out of the 'mos here.

On the bright side, he'll be dead from food poisoning very shortly.

Or in his car in his garage six years later

Not only should you put mayonnaise in the fridge, you should NOT buy anything that tells you not to. How many extra chemicals did they put in it to claim that it does not need refrigeration? I noticed in the link earlier the label that said "No refrigeration needed" had in its ingredients "EDTA (used to protect quality)"

Toxicity: EDTA exhibits low acute toxicity with LD50 (rat) of 2.0 – 2.2 g/kg.[3] It has been found to be both cytotoxic and weakly genotoxic in laboratory animals. Oral exposures have been noted to cause reproductive and developmental effects.

As Michael Pollan says:

1. "Don't eat anything your grandmother wouldn't recognize as food."

2. "Avoid foods containing ingredients you can't pronounce."

3. "Don't eat anything that won't eventually rot."

[quote]This disgusts me almost as much as raisins in waffles.

I once met a guy who worked for the U.S. Dept. of Agriculture as a raisin inspector. After hearing about his work, I gave up anything that has raisins.

I worked fora guy who put raisins in his coffee, and his bread

The two threads were very close, and just for a second I thought I was reading "Sidney Crosby Keeps Mayonnaise in His Butt."

Let me guess, OP. You're a Streep fanatic, too, aren't you?

91 Responses and not a single one adequately responded to:

[quote] I was going to make me a bologna and mayonnaise sandwich for lunch

by telling the OP he sounds fat.

I'm really disappointed in the DL community.

Both R57 and R67 made me giggle out loud.

r18 is photo-shopped.

Brava, OP. Acidity and pasteurization prove you right in the squeeze bottles. If we're talking a regular jar, there is too much risk in cross contamination, so the reason to refrigerate.

Were there turkey meatballs in the fridge too?

This reminds me of a thread on the old Alt.gossip site back n the Usenet days. Right in the middle of a site dedicated to celebrity gossip was a thread debating the propriety of refrigerating one's butter. There were THOUSANDS of replies and the results were that southern country folks tend to keep their butter out in the open while city folk do not. There may be some truth to that because I had never seen anyone leave their butter out until I went to visit a college boyfriend who grew up in the boonies. I was so appalled by his mother leaving the butter on the breakfast table all day that I could barely eat any of her food. I bet she didn't chill her mayo either.

I had acquaintances in high school - farming, fishing, processing country - most of whom worked summers in the food industry. They talked about what went on, especially the graveyard shift.

Later on, I worked in the restaurant business.

Frankly, now I have trouble consuming just about anything I don't grow and prepare myself.

no, it isn't, R94

Yeah, I don't know how anyone can think eating in a restaurant is something great or glamorous.

Jesus what an uptight bitch you are OP.

You guys have become more gullible than ever!

I once had a dear friend who left her mayonnaise out.

And then she died.

You're supposed to refrigerate your mayo, dumbass. It says so on the label.

Sounds like a weirdo to me.

It's all relative OP, cold, room temperature or otherwise I think mayonnaise in and of ITSELF is disgusting!

I once left a jar of mayonnaise on my kitchen counter for 5 days. I came home to a gummy, foul mess.

OP, do you run your mouth like that when he's destroying your hole? I bet you do.

OP will be back soon crying about why she can't keep a man.

I wonder if Op is trolling, though I saw people on Instagram arguing wether Ketchup should be refrigerated.

And like somebody above said, if it doesnt need refrigeration, its most likely packed with chemicals and conservants.

Are you dead yet, OP?

R108, ketchup doesn't need to be refrigerated, but you'd want to consume it faster than the average single person would. The restaurant I worked in never refrigerated the ketchup.

OP, your boyfriend has got himself a real winner. Lucky guy!

"I came home to a gummy, foul mess."

Well, you married him, I didn't.

Hope the bf runs real fast from this loon. Poor guy if he doesn't. Even if OP gives awesome head.

R111 Im european and I dont think Ive seen ketchup that doesnt need refrigeration.

R115, Here in 'Murica we got PRESERVATIVES. Nothin ever spoils. Just unwrap a Hostess Twinky• from 50 years ago--fresh as a new-washed asshole! Look at our pres. Chock full of BHT and formaldehyde!

R116 It should be forbidden to put certain chemicals and preservatives in food. Its unhealthy.

[quote]Look at our pres. Chock full of BHT and formaldehyde!

And that's just his hair-doozy!

OP died three years ago from food poisoning. Why are you bumping this pathetic thread? It is not a classic.

I dates a guy who insisted on putting his ice cream in the freezer. I thought," What an idiot." Ice cream clearly doesn't need refrigeration of any kind; it just takes up space.

The mad bumper is back, it seems. I assume it's Matt but who even fucking knows anymore, this place is 80% lunatics by volume.

And r119 is right -- if this were a classic, tears would have been shed by reply #50.

Leave your opened jar of mayo out of the fridge for a week and then make a sandwich with it OP. Then wait a few hours and get back to us, if you're still alive.

OMG...Break up with him immediately!

Anyone who has the good sense to refrigerate the mayo deserves better than you OP.

The squeezable mayonnaise clearly has nothing foodlike in it that could support bacterial growth.

What's the appeal of Mayonnaise?

I've always been a bit grossed out by it. I've never liked it on my sandwiches.

Mayonnaise is delicious, especially when mixed in with ketchup. What I don't understand the appeal of is Miracle Whip. When I was first starting out I bought some, thinking it was a brand of mayonnaise. That shit is nasty!!

R125 - what do you put on roast beef or chicken sandwiches - butter?

R127, I am not R125, but I don't like mayo, either. The only kind of chicken sandwiches I eat are chicken salad sandwiches, and I make chicken salad with a vinaigrette, not mayo. And I would never put it on a roast beef sandwich, if I were to eat one. I would use dijon mustard, or whole grain mustard, or maybe Russian dressing if the sandwich already came with it. But never mayo.

OP it sounds more like you are the disgusting one in this relationship, not just because you don't think mayonnaise should be refrigerated after opening. The idea of a bologna sandwich with mayo is nauseating.

If one insists on eating bologna, mustard is the only civilized condiment to use on one's sandwich.

OP I am sure if I attempted I could find a some article that claimed the world is flat. Doesn't make it so.

Mayonnaise must be refrigerated after opening.

I never refrigerate it and don't get sick. You all are weirdos.

I like to keep my panties in the icebox on hot days. How you like them apples?

In the ice cream or next to the ice cream Marilyn?

Bologna and mustard is very wierd, indeed!

I can't see a vinaigrette holding chicken salad together well enough.

R125 here. Roast beef? I like a very lite drizzle of Worchester sauce (just a few drops) and some horseradish sauce. Check sandwich? Honey mustard, dijon mustard, or fresh ranch dressing.

Some of my aversion to mayo might be from my step-father and his family. They would PLOP! a shitload on their sandwiches. I didn't like the way it looked, tasted, or oozed out of my mouth. And I don't recall the flavor.

Come to think of it, Miracle Whip was what they liked (cuz it was cheaper). But I never had a hamburger with mayo where I thought "YUMM!". I always scraped it off. Or if I couldn't because I was a guest at someone's home and they already prepared it, I just silently suffered while thinking "it's like a horse came on my sandwich!". I never liked the oozy-ness, and never thought there was a flavor worth it all.

So.... is there a flavor? Or is it about making the bread moist? (which grosses me out. I don't like soggy bread)

Try reading labels, OP..........

Amazing what you will learn.............

LEAVE HIM !

White peoples problems

OP just came back from the rally at Charlottesville .

R128, russian dressing IS mayo.

R139 Really? What kind of protest was there in Charlottesville in 2014?

[quote]"it's like a horse came on my sandwich!"

How do I find out if these sandwiches are available in area?

I totally meant "MY" area.

OP, are you kidding? Please tell me this is a joke thread.

5 Condiments That Don't Have to Be Refrigerated

I refrigerate everything because I live in a Brooklyn co-op, am never home when the exterminator comes in on Saturday - it's killing me, my schedule has conflicted for months. So all the bugs come running to me, and I have to sequester the dogs and disinfect/bleach the shit out of the kitchen. I am absolutely paranoid about having any food out.

Did you know that you really don't have to refrigerate eggs? At least the ones that still have the external membrane on the shell.

People buy jars of white gloppy jello like mayonnaise, gross. Make some with good quality ingredients like I do, it tastes infinitely superior.

R147 - if you mean that eggs and the chickens that lay them can can be handled in such a way that the eggs do not require refrigeration you are correct.

If however you mean you can buy eggs from the cooler in your local grocery store and not keep them in your own refrigerator you are wrong.

The way almost all eggs are produced in the US requires a decontamination process due to the likelihood the eggs have been exposed to chicken feces. Once that happens the eggs must be kept refrigerated.

Calgon, TAKE ME AWAY. . . .(from this thread)

Hi, I'm the guy this freak "dated" back in 2014. It was 2 time pickup, both pity fucks. I'm pretty sure OP eventually revealed himself as GAP Playlist Troll.

I keep my mayo outside in the hot summer sun... Is that wrong?