Karen Walker quotes

Hi poodle!

Hey Wilma!

"Attention, Republicans! Beverly Leslie is a homosexual. I repeat, Beverly Leslie is a homosexual."

Many of her lines were just plain funny on the page, but many more were greatly improved by her delivery.

Doctor, while I have you here, true or false--milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made?

Oh honey no, just no.

I love errands, they're like mini-adventures for undesirables.

How could she not know? What is she, headless?

"Omigod, listen to me, I'm a funny lesbian! I'm Ellen!"

"They're a cult, like the Moonies or the homeless"

"Honey, got skirt?"

"What's going on here? Didn't we talk about this blouse already?"

"Grace, I thought we talked about the beret. Patty Hearst couldn't even pull one off, and she had money and a gun."

I remember Grace was jumping on a trampoline and shouted, "Karen, if I had your boobs I'd have two black eyes right now!"

And Karen mumbles, "...yeah... and a rich husband".

Thanks for posting these. I could never understand that bitch on television. Squeaky little thing, ain't she?

In about 15 years, the character of Karen Walker needs to come back..you know what, bring back the whole cast of Will & Grace for a Golden Girls style show.

"Point your heels to heaven and think of Prada!"

Rosario: Listen lady, in my county I was a schoolteacher.

Karen: Oh yeah? Well in this country, you wash my bras.

R11: I remember the first time that ep aired & she said that, we all fell out laughing for like a solid minute. It was beyond priceless!

Karen (reading bulletin board at the laundromat): Look at me! I'm on the Internet!

Oh Wilma, grab a bottle, hunker down and pray for daylight.

On child labor: Oh kids ruin everything. I mean look at the stitching on this. You cannot trust a ten year old to do a good hidden button.

On being nice: Honey, tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to be sarcastic.

On Jewelry: Oh hey! Somebody got flowers. Or as I like to call them, poor people jewelry.

On Altruism: Let’s take pictures of us eating all this food and then show it to some homeless person.

On proper pronunciation: You say potato, I say vodka.

On Beverages: Light beer? What’s next, non addictive pain killers?

On gainful employment: I’ve got drinks piling up on my desk and a stack of pills I have even opened yet!

More on Beverages: OK, Rule number 1: Unless you’re served in a frosted glass, never come within 4 feet of my lips.

On Love: I regret the day I ever laid boobs on that man!

On domestic help: He’s taking me to Cancun for a week. Maybe I’ll take some jeans and trade ‘em for a new maid.

That show was unfunny and homophobic.

That show was hysterical and pro-gay and that's why it lasted into syndication. (It did, didn't it?)

I could never understand Karen. She had a cartoon voice. So I'm kind of hearing her funny lines from the show for the first time by reading these.

Hysterical!

An American Ab Fab.

BTW, whatever happened to Debra Messing? I think I saw her on an informerical recently.

Deb Messing is doing a play on Broadway.

Will & Grace was a stupid show with lousy writing.

NEXT!

[quote]That show was hysterical and pro-gay and that's why it lasted into syndication.

What the fuck does that mean?

All the actors didn't go on to stardom, and every show produced by the same team bombed.

R25, read the Karen Walker quotes again. Funniest thing on the air, for a time.

This episode convinced me Jack Black should do a spinoff- with Laura Kightlinger as his nurse.

On my knees in Belize... On my back in Iraq... And then there was that time on Nantucket.

Karen was always the funniest character on the show, and one of the best on TV at the time. Megan Mulally's delivery had a lot to do with it.

But the clip at R27 is an example of them not knowing what to do with the character, and pushing all of the characters into cartoon territory in the later seasons.

It was amusing / funny at first that she was oblivious to how "normal" people lived and would make out-of-touch or judgmental statements ("Honey, this is a cult! Yeah! Like the Moonies or the homeless."; "Good Lord. I can't believe I'm at a public pool. Why doesn't somebody just pee directly on me?")

For some reason this transformed into her becoming completely idiotic later, and not knowing basic facts about day-to-day life, like what a surgical glove was, or how to operate a brake pedal in a car (despite her growing up poor). So she just became a rich idiot, instead of the fabulous and savvy bitch she was at the beginning.

Same for Jack, Will and Grace - all their character traits (flighty, prissy, shrewish) were amped up in later seasons until they became unlikable caricatures of their former selves.

That being said, I do miss the show, and when they had the occasional gem of an episode it almost made up for the other crap.

"She's been to Mexico so many time for plastic surgery, if you whacked her in the head, little prizes would fall out"

R29 very astute observation. I never thought of it that way before.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures. It’s time to get your head out of the dumps and your legs in the air!"

What's the line about vodka not being a morning beverage? I always thought that one was priceless but I can't remember it.

Thats like saying Prada's are just shoes, or vodka is just a morning beverage!

Thanks R[34]

To Jack: "Honey, you're simple, you're shallow, and you're a common whore... that's why we are soulmates!!"

The only show that made me laugh nearly as much as Seinfeld. PC my ass. The best comedy has some edge, great characters, one or two "straight" characters that play well off the the others. Karen was classic. She was the Kramer of this show.

"You called me down here to tell me my kid made the honor roll?! Honey, my time is precious. Call me when one of them gives birth at the prom!"

"You know, maybe there is an alligator running around somewhere with me as a handbag. I mean, who knows what they do with my old skin."

I gotta go. I have to see a man about a horse pill.

Miss, can you get me a Latte?

Ummm, I don't work here.

That's not what I asked you.

R29 is right on the money. I love Karen and Jack, but Will just bugged me or maybe it was just Eric McCormack's delivery. Wait. I've decided it's just Eric McCormack. Loved Beverley Leslie too, he (Leslie Jordan) was also great in Boston Legal.

I loved Karen and Jack but not so much together. They brought out the worst childish traits in each other.

I'm in the minority but I actually preferred Will & Grace.

Said when she offered Grace some of her "party mix" that she brought to a sleepover. Her "party mix" consisted of uppers, downers, and candy corn.

"Here, honey, have some party mix. You'll feel better...Or worse. That's what I love about party mix. You never know!"

Any new ones too add?

Good, God, Mary. Three years of silence, and now this? I see I'm not the only one who picks at a scab.

"Oh Grace -- a SKORT?"

"Good Lord -- I can't believe I'm at a public pool. Why doesn't somebody just pee directly on me?"

"What, honey, what - who talks like that?"

"Oh, honey. You're gonna make me pretend to cry."

“You know I don’t believe in drinking and driving, but I’ve got to get the kids to school every once in a while!

So who wrote these lines?

Uh, the writers, honey. The writers. You don't think I have time to write all these witty zingers on my tight schedule, do you? Hey, gangway. I'm late for a salt scrub, baldy.

[quote] Uh, the writers, honey. The writers. You don't think I have time to write all these witty zingers on my tight schedule, do you? Hey, gangway. I'm late for a salt scrub, baldy.

Nice try, Rose. Now keep going. Thinking isn't really too hard if you keep at it.

Wow r14, four years ago, and you were right on the money.

Meats and cheeses, you are rockin' my clock, Mary!

He's back, he's moved in, and we're shagging like two lieutenants after lights out.