I am the Thanksgiving Otter.

Otters 'n' wolves -- they's my favorites!

i love otters

R1, mines too!

R3 --

Post a pic of nice otter.

I want to see what you consider an otter.

I'll find one too later this evening.

I prefer beefy bears, thanks

This otter be good.

A picture of OP.

This is an otter bitches!

This otter is hot as hell!

NSFW

Benedict Cumberbatch?

That is otterly re-dick-ulous

Damn, my smile is even bigger than that yellow grin on his pants. ☺

That is my idea of the ideal man.

Hot hot hot

I'd rather read a whole thread of the Christmas Mouse's precious over-refinement than one sentence of your trash talk, Mr. Otter.

And you need a comma between "you" and "Christmas"--direct address.

Wolves? please give and example

Are you dishwasher safe?

Here's a nice one -- young thin and hairy.

My dream man, R17.

I can hardly wait for the XXX-mas bear and cubs

I prefer Emmett Otter.

How big is ur cock otter?

I broke Marky Mark's Samsonite Solana Expandable Spinner Suitcase and now he wants to date me.

Pine cones are sticking to my cheeks, do you think I need a facelift?

"I'd rather read a whole thread of the Christmas Mouse's precious over-refinement than one sentence of your trash talk, Mr. Otter.

And you need a comma between "you" and "Christmas"--direct address."

I keep it real, R14. None of this faux kindness and treacly syrup from me.

Oh, and one more thing: fuck you "," R14.

R15, here's a blitzer and a father wolf with his two bitch wolves

R16, yes, unlike your cumrag. Even the dishwasher rejects that toxic shroud of waste.

Does this mean that the Thanksgiving Vole is dead?

Small for an otter, R21, but still bigger than yours.

R23, yes, but not because of the pine cones.

R27, that was my Thanksgiving lunch, R27.

Dear GAWD, -r20-

Benedict is definitely an otter.

Christmas Mouse sighting!

Cute, R11

R33, there's a special circle in hell reserved for the Christnas Mouse right below Judas Iscariot. He'll be drowning in liquid saccharine for eternity circling the tail of Satan.

Once Christmas Mouse sent Thanksgiving Otter an invitation to "come visit my hole!" Imagine his surprise when CM handed him a cup of hot cider and invited him to sit by the fire and listen to carols!

Another time, Thanksgiving Otter brought treats for Jesus in the tomb and dropped M&Ms through Christ's nail wounds onto the floor.

Thanksgiving Otter laughed and laughed and laughed.

Thanksgiving Otter is not love.

R27, the Thanksgiving Vole died when it sought shelter in Cheryl's toxic pussy.

Whenever Thanksgiving Otter visits his grandma, he wears nothing but a red cape and chases her around the house yelling, "I'm the big bad wolf."

Before me you rightly tremble.

What is this thread supposed to be about?

I thought it was about young hairy thin guys ... bit it's not!

R42, you fool along with those others who think this thread is about a variant of that disgusting, fat so-called "bear" sub-culture.

How dare you, r43.

R44, I forgot to sign my post at R43. I dare to because I am the Thanksgiving Otter. Now go play with your precious Christmas Mouse's red, green and grey entrails.

Sincerely,

I have returned, you blood-stained enemas, to bring my brand of holiday mirth and after-mirth to the next few days when your recriminations will warm my scotch. What are you gashes ungrateful for this Thanksgiving?

The Thanksgiving Otter crushed the Great Pumpkin, that old curmudgeon.

Excuse me, bitch, but there's only room for ONE holiday rodent in thus universe, and it ain't you.

Oh, and I hope your turkey has salmonella.

Are liquor stores open today, Thanksgiving Otter?

In the OTT-er.

Rio and the Thanksgiving Otter

Only a few weeks until it's my time in the spotlight.

The Thanksgiving Otter has moxie....as well as a filthy, trash talking mouth that gives me lady wood.

OOOOOOHHHH! I can't wait for the Kwanzaa ferret! Will he be wearing a little red, gold, green and black snowsuit?

Not a snowsuit, but a dashiki with Uggs.

[quote] Excuse me, bitch, but there's only room for ONE holiday rodent in thus universe, and it ain't you. Oh, and I hope your turkey has salmonella.

Look here, Eastah Bonny, yeah right into my ball sack. My sack has more eggs than your appropriated fertility-symbol basket. People think you're cute, but you're no more than a boil away in Glenn Close's pot from being a denuded set of bones.

[quote] Are liquor stores open today, Thanksgiving Otter?

What the fuck do you think I am, Google maps? I don't know where your waste of fat ass lives. Let your own digits do the fingering, that is if they're not otherwise occupied up your ass. All I know is that I have enough scotch to last me through this weekend.

[quote] Rio and the Thanksgiving Otter

That's not me, but I know that dog fellater. He's a fetal alcohol syndrome retard. No otter but an anal wart of a retard would be stupid enough to play with a dog. Now watch someone who's more of a retard than Rio the Otter. Life goes on and then you die, as Patti LuPone would say.

So do i

[quote] Only a few weeks until it's my time in the spotlight.

[quote] OOOOOOHHHH! I can't wait for the Kwanzaa ferret! Will he be wearing a little red, gold, green and black snowsuit?

[quote] Not a snowsuit, but a dashiki with Uggs.

Ugg. It's the camel-toe jockey terrorist ferret. You know you're just a repressed self-hating homophobe who has done it with a male Jew ferret. Will you do what you did last year and fast from sunrise to sundown and then get your hemorrhoid and pus-filled ferret ass stuffed by that big, hooked Jew ferret nose? Hell, you make Richard Gere's gerbil look like a Puritan, hypocrite.

[quote] The Thanksgiving Otter has moxie....as well as a filthy, trash talking mouth that gives me lady wood.

And you have spunk, up your ass and down your mouth. I hate spunk! And your so-called lady wood, slathered in spunk, is up both your snatch and anus meeting at the breach of your intestinal lining. And not the lower intestine. It's all the way up there. Slut. Rip.

[quote] So do i

Who the e-stim up your distended pecker hole asked you?

Now I will do the asking: what are you blocked, herniated slits ungrateful for this Thanksgiving and for the rest of your alcohol and/or meth fueled weekend?

Dearest Thanksgiving Otter -

Get some sleep, hun.

Hugs and kisses!

The Thanksgiving Otter has sand-eal breath.

Here are some sexy otters for those who like them:

[quote] Get some sleep, hun.

Unlike you, meth ferret face. What makes your entrails rot more, the meth or the Jew nose up your ass?

[quote] The Thanksgiving Otter has sand-eal breath.

And at this moment, I have "Oh, dear" face, pre-dementia simpleton.

Well, in the morning, I will know how to spell "eel", but you will still have sand-eel breath.

R51 That is the cutest thing I have ever seen! Interspecies friends! Something tells me that Thanksgiving Otter is a it less amiable even with his own species.

[quote] Well, in the morning, I will know how to spell "eel", but you will still have sand-eel breath.

How do you f-eal this afternoon, R64? My breath does stink of eel, scotch and snatch. Yeah, hungover and all, I decided to sneak a few licks of your dad's snatch and eel while he was slumped in the Judy Garland posture in the bathroom after his last drink this morning. Although, I must admit, to call it an "eel" would be a bit of an exaggeration. Like father like son (or daughter).

[quote] That is the cutest thing I have ever seen! Interspecies friends! Something tells me that Thanksgiving Otter is a it less amiable even with his own species.

Look here, Pollyanna, next time proofread (if you can) before you post. And if I'm any indication of my own species, why the fuck do you think I'd want to be amiable with them? Check your premises, deer cunt.

Ooooo! Iddle bitty otter baby is a gwumpy widdle baby! Who's the cutest widdle gwumpy mumpy otter baby? Ooooo! Who wants a tummy wub? Widdle otter baby wants a tummy wub! Yes he does! Ooooo yes he does!

He's so ADORABLE in his little velour Santa suit!

Isn't choo? Isn't choo?

I roll my eyes at you all with ill-hidden hauteur.

I louve the Boxing Day Capybara

Thanksgiving Otter, I hope I am not being too familiar, but I was wondering if you would like to join me for some delicious smoked salmon and Glenfiddich followed by a bit of beaverlingus after which I will lovingly express your anal glands?

Thanksgiving Otter seems like a real unpleasant piece of work.

I think the Thanksgiving Otter has been outdone! I didn't think it possible, but I believe he has been outsnarked!

R76

R71 Goddamn sticky B key. Sorry TG Otter. It won't happen again. Kisses.

Please come back Thanksgiving otter...at least for a day or two.

bumpity

[quote] Please come back Thanksgiving otter...at least for a day or two.

Can't a goddamned otter sleep through a hangover without being bothered by Rebecca from Sunnybrook Farm like you. I'll respond when I goddamned feel like it, hernia dropping.

Oh, phew, I thought the T-Otter was done for the year. How are you, Mr. T-Otter?

[quote] How are you, Mr. T-Otter?

Cunt off, pre-shit. Can't you read? Back to sleep or scotch or both.

I bet R20's clip is great to watch when you're high.

This angry, racist little shit used to be so cute. Did you drown your friend, T'giving cunter?

I am dying from terminal cuteness overload R86. That and the dog playing with the river otter has me all googly.

The Thanksgiving Otter has betrayed us all.

I resent this thread.

Oh dear little acouchi...wtf??

[quote] Ooooo! Iddle bitty otter baby is a gwumpy widdle baby! Who's the cutest widdle gwumpy mumpy otter baby? Ooooo! Who wants a tummy wub? Widdle otter baby wants a tummy wub! Yes he does! Ooooo yes he does!He's so ADORABLE in his little velour Santa suit! Isn't choo? Isn't choo?

What the fuck are you prattling on about, Rosemary Kennedy? Cat got your frontal lobe?

Hey, Dr. Mengele, you were right! Tell, Hitler, you were riiiiiiiiiiiight.

[quote] I roll my eyes at you all with ill-hidden hauteur.

[quote] I louve the Boxing Day Capybara

If there's so much love, then fellate the other's anus while wiping the hemorrhoid blood off your chapped lips with your free hand. Or perhaps you like to use that as lube?

Just leave me the hell alone. I'm waking up from a two-day drunk now, and I'm in a foul mood.

[quote] Thanksgiving Otter, I hope I am not being too familiar, but I was wondering if you would like to join me for some delicious smoked salmon and Glenfiddich followed by a bit of beaverlingus after which I will lovingly express your anal glands?

You had me until Glenfiddich, beaver. Everyone's heard of your beaver, and it's rancid like twelve nights of sutured anus. And your tongue is like sandpaper from all accounts (and there are many). It's a wonder the other beavers allow your stinky, toothed trap to be classified as a beaver. I'd run in shame from you if the stink didn't get to me first.

[quotes] Thanksgiving Otter seems like a real unpleasant piece of work.

Thanks. I don't try.

[quote] I think the Thanksgiving Otter has been outdone! I didn't think it possible, but I believe he has been outsnarked!

Imbecile.

Hey, someone come wipe R77's drool.

[quote] Goddamn sticky B key. Sorry TG Otter. It won't happen again. Kisses.

Yeah, I'm sure your B key is sticky because it's in the first row. Your tiny dick can only squirt so far. Oh, and it will happen again. You have your hand on your dick so often, that baby carrot thinks your hand is an illegal Mexican migrant ready to pull it out of the ground.

[quote] I bet R20's clip is great to watch when you're high.

I isn't. I've tried. Fuck, I even tried using it as porn when I'm high [italic]and[/italic] drunk. Animal-ation doesn't work for me.

[quote] This angry, racist little shit used to be so cute. Did you drown your friend, T'giving cunter?

I know those two otters; they're sick bastards. They're brothers you know and have been doing it since their dad ordered them to do it as pups. Now he just likes to watch and videotape them. How do you think that vid got on Youtube?

"Daddy, I'm cuming!" said the otters in unison.

[quote] I am dying from terminal cuteness overload R86. That and the dog playing with the river otter has me all googly.

Let's hope it comes quickly, treacly bitch.

[quote] I resent this thread.

Columbus Day Acouchi, you're one of the good guys. Finger licking good.

[quote] The Thanksgiving Otter has betrayed us all. The Arbor Day Platypus

Fuck, even I think that's cute, platypus.

Do you get royalties from the Otterbox people?

[quote] Do you get royalties from the Otterbox people?

Do you fucking think that if I got royalties I'd be posting to you pulverized kidney stones? I post here because I get 18 bucks a month and 1,800 bucks in November from "The Editor", as that smelly snatch calls him, to increase traffic during "Primetime". People stop posting here during the holidays because they're with "family", and that mouse only gets the same old do-gooders who like Love, Actually with his cocoa during Christmas. They don't get ad revenue. My vitriol does. Vinegar attracts more than honey to this cesspool of a site. Try Manvox. It's free, gashes.

You made my Thanksgiving holiday Thanksgiving Otter. I miss you already, and I hope that you will surprise us with a cameo in the upcoming Christmas Mouse thread!! You can insult me anytime babe!

[quote] People stop posting here during the holidays because they're with "family", and that mouse only gets the same old do-gooders who like Love, Actually with his cocoa during Christmas.

Dear Thanksgiving Otter, I am quite a fan of yours; however, as the Evening Punctuationist, I must say that this sentence is confusing, perhaps because the punctuation is off? I just have no idea what you intend to say in this sentence, besides throwing shade on the Mouse.

Yours truly and sincerely,

Dear Punctuationist I think he is referring to the film Love, Actually which does contain a comma. Excuse me for being presumptuous in answering for the TO, but my Spidey sense tells me he'll never see the question. God I wish he were here all year! He's like our very own Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

Oh, thank you, R106. That is clear.

[quote] You made my Thanksgiving holiday Thanksgiving Otter. I miss you already, and I hope that you will surprise us with a cameo in the upcoming Christmas Mouse thread!! You can insult me anytime babe!

I'd make a cameo if the Mouse would just show the fuck up. Oh, and I will insult you when I can "babe".

[quote] Dear Thanksgiving Otter, I am quite a fan of yours; however, as the Evening Punctuationist, I must say that this sentence is confusing, perhaps because the punctuation is off? I just have no idea what you intend to say in this sentence, besides throwing shade on the Mouse.

See R106, Evening Punctuationist. Oh, and is true you like to diddle special boys in your class with your "exclamation point"?

[quote] but my Spidey sense tells me he'll never see the question. God I wish he were here all year! He's like our very own Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

Of course I saw it, dumb ass. Late, but I saw it. I bet at least 20 percent would like to see me here all year. And I know that Triumph: he likes to have Richard Gere up his hole.

Otters are so 1995.

[quote] Otters are so 1995.

And so is the compacted feces in your intestines.

That's the best you can do?

Hurray! The Christmas Otter is here!

And they call him insane.

R115, what man does not understand, he calls insane.

Hail the Christmas Otter!

[quote] That's the best you can do?

To respond to you, that's all the effort that I'll expend.

[quote] Hurray! The Christmas Otter is here!

DL better pay me time and a half if I'm going to be doing Christmas here. They better pay me as much as the Mouse. I give better head too.

[quote] And they call him insane.

And that's when I'm sober.

R118, you call that head? My blow dryer does a better job!

[quote] what man does not understand, he calls insane. Hail the Christmas Otter!

Finally, some sense in this thread. Oh, and I won't respond to that name until I get paid to do so, you inverted penises.

[quote] Not a paid shill

I believe it. At the rate DL pays its mascots, believe me, I feel your pain, herniated taint. Any hell, all the paid shills are on the Bomer and Colton Haynes threads.

[quote] you call that head? My blow dryer does a better job!

R120 = DL accounts payable cube dweller. I came to complain about not getting paid, and he said I'd have to get on my knees to get paid. Let's just say, the blow dryer must have melted away whatever the hell used to be there. An otter has to have something to bite onto, if you know what I mean.

[quote] R116: what man does not understand, he calls insane.

Euripides said it first, and rightly so I must say:

[italic]Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.[/italic]

Variant translation:

[italic]To the fool, he who speaks wisdom will sound foolish.[/italic]

Greetings, motherfuckers. I told you I would boycott Christmas in the absence of that tiny-prick mouse if Mediapolis did not pay me to serve. God knows they get enough $18 suckers to pay one poor, stinking otter like me for the Christmas Season. Now where's the cunting George Washington's Birthday mascot? Fuck knows, it's not going to be me.

And before you hemorrhoid and puss-filled, distended anuses correct me, you should be aware that on the federal level it's still George Washington's Birthday and not Presidents' Day. So go fuck yourselves first before you challenge me.

Miserable November, you leaking enemas. I'm here a bit early, and probably not welcome or appreciated by you mincing queens and bull dykes who'd rather discuss "Colto" Haynes, Tom Hardy, Louis Tomlinson and Moobs and Strudel, whatever the hell they are. But hey at least I'm here and showed up unlike that saccharine, cocoa cup-stroking rodent, the Christmas Mouse, who didn't show up for, well, Christmas. So tell me, what are you degenerates and vaginal droppings thankful for this year? Based on your listless and pathetic posts, not much I would imagine. Let me know. You know I "care". And feel free to ask questions, I'll answer all no matter how inane (and they will be inane).

I'm thankful for [italic]you,[/italic] Mr. Otter!

What do you do when you aren't terrorizing Datalounge? Kicking puppies? Baking cupcakes with razorblades in them, and handing them out to the elderly?

I heard the Thanksgiving Otter is actually a hairless twink pretending to be an Otter. It's just what I heard.

Still thankful!

Ignore the haters, Mr. Otter! Eat them eels, if that's what you want to do! I support you! Shuck those oysters! Criticize grammer and spelling, if you must! You're gonna change the world!

[quote] I'm thankful for you, Mr. Otter!

That just reveals you to be an idiot. Must happen often.

[quote] What do you do when you aren't terrorizing Datalounge? Kicking puppies? Baking cupcakes with razorblades in them, and handing them out to the elderly?

After reading your post, I know one thing I'll do: drink heavily.

[quote] Ignore the haters, Mr. Otter! Eat them eels, if that's what you want to do! I support you! Shuck those oysters! Criticize grammer and spelling, if you must! You're gonna change the world! —Your Mother

My mother? You're not my mother. Her twat is not as wide as yours, and believe me, I'm intimately and frequently familiar with my mother's twat.

I saw the Thanksgiving Otter riding around the skeevier parts of town on a tricycle blasting "Hey, Jude" while yelling "Hey, Jew!"

This is a catholic city, but we don't do antisemitism- too poor for Jews.

You rock, Thanksgiving Otter! You eat them eels! Slurp them loud and proud! I'm behind you 100%

I have a question for you Mr. T-Otter, what is your favorite cookie?

TO, R133 is planing on baking you cookies, you tool, so be nice.

R133, I happen to know that it's herring-raspberry.

I am the Easter Platypus

What is the name of that South American country where all of the men dye their penis gold for some religious holiday?

Dear Mr. Platypus, Easter already has a bunny, so that slot it taken. Punctuation Day needs a mascot, tough. It's in September. It doesn't pay very well; oh, but the joy in the children's faces! You will have to shave for the interview, FYI.

Mr. Platypus, massive fail!

[quote] I have a question for you Mr. T-Otter, what is your favorite cookie?

A regurgitated one.

TO, [R133] is planing on baking you cookies, you tool, so be nice. [R133], I happen to know that it's herring-raspberry.

Regurgitated herring-raspberry, you ruptured scab. And the only type of baking I admire took place 70 or so years ago.

I love the Thanksgiving udder!

[quote] I am the Easter Platypus

As that fat ass bunny will attest, your holiday mascot skills are as flat as your tail. You should be crucified by the tail - no resurrection required, platypus.

Thanksgiving Otter is paleo?

[quote] Dear Mr. Platypus, Easter already has a bunny, so that slot it taken. Punctuation Day needs a mascot, tough. It's in September. It doesn't pay very well; oh, but the joy in the children's faces! You will have to shave for the interview, FYI.

How about a bloody period, or should that be full stop, Punctuationist?

[quote] Mr. Platypus, massive fail!

An a flat tail.

[quote] I love the Thanksgiving udder!

And you're a distended one.

[quote] Thanksgiving Otter is paleo?

Only when ingested anally.

Thanksgiving Otter, I am in awe at your wit in R144! Well done, wet one!

T.O. is it true there are more hairs on 1 square inch of your skin than almost any other animal, including your idols the wolverine & jackal?

It's wolves and otters, they'ves my favs.

Thanksgiving Otter.

Do you have a recipe for Turducken?

I stumbled over this...

Turducken Is so 1990s, R151. In France, they eat roasted Otter for the holidays, now. It's delist.

Delicious, I mean.

Are you getting excited, Mr. Otter? It's your big week! Happy Thanksgiving to you!

OMG! We may need a stand-in for the Thanksgiving Otter! He's AWOL!!!

He otter know better.

[quote] OMG! We may need a stand-in for the Thanksgiving Otter! He's AWOL!!!

Good morning, fuckers, and happy Thanksgiving. Yeah, I'm here. Can't an otter go on a bender for a few days to get ready for you encrusted cunts? Sheesh. Anyway, I'll be here all day answering questions, smoking and drinking. Fuck if I'm spending the day with my worthless family.

Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. Otter! May your day be filled with herring!

What are you drinking? Should I pick anything up on my way over?

[quote] Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. Otter! May your day be filled with herring!

Thanks. May your ass be filled with it too.

[quote] What are you drinking?

Scotch. Neat.

[quote] Should I pick anything up on my way over?

Your self respect.

[quote] T.O. is it true there are more hairs on 1 square inch of your skin than almost any other animal, including your idols the wolverine & jackal?

Only on my balls.

[quote] —Or is it badgers?

I don't need no badgers.

[quote] It's wolves and otters, they'ves my favs.

Theys my favorites. Get it right, ovary snot.

I dint think you're much of a mascot.

[quote] I dint think you're much of a mascot. —Christmas Moose (not affiliated with Christmas Mouse)

"didt"? Straight out of Compton or Long Island, Moose? Fuck, at least I have my own holiday and don't have to share it with an absentee mouse, snatch curd.

Someone left some cream cheese mixed with what looks like chipped beef on the counter.

Should I toss it in the garbage or fling it onto the floor near the cats' bowls? They may eat it.

[quote] Should I toss it in the garbage or fling it onto the floor near the cats' bowls? They may eat it.

On the floor. Put some crushed glass in it first.

[quote] Do you have a recipe for Turducken?

Stick it up your ass and set to broil.

[quote] I stumbled over this...

That's not my type of otter, you disgusting fuck. "Bears" and "otters" are disgusting.

Thanksgiving Otter is not the mascot we aspired to, but he is certainly the mascot we deserve.

[quote] Thanksgiving Otter is not the mascot we aspired to, but he is certainly the mascot we deserve.

Finally someone who gets it. No snark in my response to this poster.

Mr. Otter, what to say when you show up at your sister's house and the entire table is decorated with totems of cultural appropriation such as tepees, Native American headdresses and the like? I'm shocked!

[quote] Mr. Otter, what to say when you show up at your sister's house and the entire table is decorated with totems of cultural appropriation such as tepees, Native American headdresses and the like? I'm shocked!

Turn around and as you are about to leave say, in an indignant voice, "They are 'First Nations!'" We know you don't mean it, so take one of the headdresses as you leave and wear it proudly home. Fuck her and her guano-based family!

I had absolutely no idea that the Thanksgiving Otter was so culturally sensitive. The things we learn.

[quote] I had absolutely no idea that the Thanksgiving Otter was so culturally sensitive. The things we learn.

You obviously have no sense of sarcasm and irony, puss leaking.

I could say the same now, couldn't I, dear Thanksgiving Otter? No matter. Have a glass of Lagavulin on me.

[quote] Have a glass of Lagavulin on me.

I have, and I will.

[quote] R172 and R175

I am R172, you drunken innie scab.

Bu-bye, Thanksgiving Otter! I hope you gets lots of gefilte fish in your Christmas Stocking. Oh, dear, you don't have feet, do you, so you wouldn't have stockings, well, never mind.

Hey Otter, R163, I think you meant to say, "Badgers. I don't need no stinkin' badgers."

That's quite good, R180.

Greetings Thanksgiving Otter! That offer I made last year of the Glenmorangie(I changed the brand since you stuck your nose up at my Glenfiddich) and salmon still stands sweetie baby.

On behalf of my like minded DL friends may I ask you to share your feelings about all the current hoopla surrounding the Trans folks and their unending attempts to revise gender norms including, but not limited to, the use of our sacrosanct women's bathrooms?

[quote} Greetings Thanksgiving Otter! That offer I made last year of the Glenmorangie(I changed the brand since you stuck your nose up at my Glenfiddich) and salmon still stands sweetie baby.

Thank you, ass crack hair. I'll enjoy that even if the leaking pus on the sores of my paws keep on interfering with full enjoyment.

[quote] On behalf of my like minded DL friends may I ask you to share your feelings about all the current hoopla surrounding the Trans folks and their unending attempts to revise gender norms including, but not limited to, the use of our sacrosanct women's bathrooms?

I am among the few sentient mascots albeit one with some realism in my perspectives and attitudes. I am fuelled by the rational, rather than the chaotic vomittings of an imprecise mind, and confront the irrational by placing it within the bounds of reason. That being written, the trans people must leave the L, the G and the B. They need to go and live on their own island where they can call each other "Shim" or "Him-her she-he" without confusing the fuck out of the rest of u. They don't generally fit in with the LGB as those are based on the commonalities of a same sex attraction. The "T" is often confused/unsure of their sexual orientation and doesn't fit in with the LGB ethos. Face it, we can barely tolerate the Ls with their potlucks, canes and fatness. The B is conflicted yet secretly leaning gay. The B is only designed to show his family that there is no "G" (and that ain't Glenn Close!). Fine. Allow him that charade. The T need their own movement. Their claims may be valid. . Who knows? I haven't explored them in detail given my upkeep of the Thanksgiving Otter related and my frequently going on benders. Despite superficial similarities to the Gay Rights movment, they're not the same. They can start an awareness campaign for Congressional and public consumption as we did. Who am I to judge?

Alls I know is that "T" is in turkey which is what I engorged on earlier before my aunt and her sister confront each other at the table, before the other "T" (Tryptophan) set in and the alcohol was still flowing and causing my aunts to reveal what they really are: filthy, aging, apron wearing soiled dresses since the last holiday (whatever the fuck that was).

[qute] In France, they eat roasted Otter for the holidays, now.

Richard, is that you?

Yes. Thank you for qualling me qute.

'bout time for me to wake up.

Oh Ottie(I have given you a more cuddly pet name due to my complete infatuation), your take on the T situation so jibes with my own, I know that we are meant to be!!

I love this Otter. He tells it like he sees it.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Who knew that PMBT was an Otter fan??

My favorite Ott(er) NSFW.

I thought I was DL's favorite otter?

Is the Thanksgiving Otter gay? He seems so butch!

R137 R138 R142 R144

Hey there, cunt afterbirths. I've decided to make an early appearance this year given the sour moods across DL and the world, for that matter. I'm here to enliven your Thanksgiving cheer, such as it is, and prepare your way for the Mouse and the Moose (not affiliated with Christmas Mouse). They're nice folk, especially the Moose who isn't a hypocrite like the saccharine Mouse who doesn't always show up. So a happy fuck you post election to all. You got what you deserve - in other words not cunting much.

Help me Thanksgiving Otter. Turkey gravy gives me the Hershey Squirts!

Skid off, Boxing Day Armadillo. There's only one official Boxing Day mascot and that's the Boxing Day Vole. Go away, you navel lint armadillo. You have no place here. Begone, anal fissure!

Lazy fucking otter can't even start a fresh thread. The Christmas Mouse would start a fresh thread you can be sure. Fish eating bastard.

The Thanksgiving Otter has oyster breath, I sat next to him at dinner last year, eww. Can I please sit elsewhere this year?

I thought the vole was the mascot of St. Swithins Day.

Otters is gangstas.

I love otters!

Otters is gangstas.

I love otters!

Beloved Thanksgiving otter, SO nice to see you; you came just in time to spread cheer for what will likely be NOT a festive holiday for many DLers, nay, many Americans, contemplating that ORANGE TURD being in the White House.

IS Chris Meloni an otter?

R198 - I ate the so called Boxing Day Vole. He gave me the Hershey Squirts as well.

Dear Mr. Otter,

The Christmas Mouse was in a cocoa-ma a couple years ago from too much cocoa (plus bourbon, I think) at Thanksgiving and he didn't get a shout-out until late on Christmas Eve, but he did remember us! Poor mouse, stuck in the hospital for the holidays! So, don't be too hard on him, he tries as best as he can, I'm sure.

Is there a twelve step program for cocoa? Well, if there is, I'm sure someone here will let us know how it didn't work for them and how it's a complete fraud.

Otherwise, it is nice to hear from you. I will make your favorite dessert, raspberry-anchovy pie, if I recall correctly. You can take it home with you, it's not exactly anybody else's fav.

I'll also bring some tic-tacs for your oyster breath, I know it's hard for you to hold a toothbrush.

I prefer the May Day Manatee.

Thank-you, Thanksgiving Otter, for reminding us of the truly important things in life.

Thump!

[quote] Beloved Thanksgiving otter, SO nice to see you; you came just in time to spread cheer for what will likely be NOT a festive holiday for many DLers, nay, many Americans

Cheer, taint slit? Are you cunting blind? I suggest going on a bender for the next four years. It's not easy, but I've had practice. That's how I made it through the last four years of the Bush administration.

Damn, I thought the Boxing Day mascot was the capybara? So many cute furries so, little time.

[quote] I prefer the May Day Manatee.

I hear he got slit (and not his existing one) by a power boat in Florida.

[quote] Damn, I thought the Boxing Day mascot was the capybara? So many cute furries so, little time.

Speaking of little time, I hear the capybara shoots his load in no time. Lousy lay.

Oh, hello Mr. Otter! I hope you're well! Nice to hear from you! I've missed you! I am bringing a raspberry-herring pie, plus tic-tacs! In case R209 forgets.

I'm the Arbor Day Agouti!

Agouti, capybara, manatee, tell us about yourselves. Otherwise, you're just an idea.

Thanksgiving Otter: white meat or dark meat?

[quote] Oh, hello Mr. Otter! I hope you're well! Nice to hear from you! I've missed you! I am bringing a raspberry-herring pie, plus tic-tacs!

Bring the pie and for that matter the tic-tacs, the latter so you can slip them up your well-meaning, saccharine twat.

[quote] Thanksgiving Otter: white meat or dark meat?

I've had both and would go back to both.

Sorry, you're a handsome Otter, but there is only holiday critter for me. Christmas Mouse.

T-Otter is a creep.

R224 Leave me out of this.

Thanksgiving Otter is getting tame in his dotage. Or is it all the Klonipin in the Raspberry-Herring pie? Haha!

[quote] T-Otter is a creep.

The dried blood on your cum-stained panties is showing, R224. I'd wipe it but I suspect your tongue will do it faster and with experience.

Piss dumpster at R217, where are the raspberry-herring pie and tic-tacs? An otter can't survive on Scotch alone. I've tried.

Dear Mr. Otter, I left the pie out in the rain, sorry about that. And it took so long to bake it, too!

I found some tic tacs in the bottom of my purse, I'll put them inside the pair of sneakers lying in the front hall.

Regards,

R217/R229, what fucking use are those tic-tacs to me now? You may as well stick them up your distended, scab-lined snatch.

Tic-Tacs? Are you planning on grabbing some pussy?

[quote] what fucking use are those tic-tacs to me now?

Well, exactly. I've been meaning to speak with you about your breath. We all have. Even Cheryl.

Cunt off with your tic-tacs and non-existent pies. Your rancid cunt droppings are the afterbirth of regret and rejection.

The pies existed, I promise! Haha! See you next year, smooches!

Good morning, Thanksgiving Otter! How is your head feeling this morning?

[quote] R219: Agouti, capybara, manatee, tell us about yourselves. Otherwise, you're just an idea.

The May Day Manatee lives! He was not chopped up by a boat propeller as the Thanksgiving Otter asserted above. I have no doubt he could use a water-proof tablet and an assistant with fingers and diving experience. Or perhaps, he could do pantomime behind the glass divider, but he doesn't seem that energetic.

Yeast infections, it's that time of year again, so I'm back to do my duty for DL in return for booze and cash (no peanuts for me). So get your hands off your miniscule, broken cocks and tell me what you most want for Thanksgiving other than being away from family? I anxiously await your responses, cunt wipes. I really do care (booze and cash doing the talking).

Cunty slashes, I'm here. I don't give a fuck if you ignore me. I'm just here for The Editor to pay me my booze and cash. Now what the fuck do you most want for Thanksgiving other than being away from family? I'm here to "listen" (and get wasted). Get on with it, I have an appointment with my bartender at 11:00.

Beware the Giant Otter of the Amazon!

[quote]With a footprint that is often bigger than a human hand, the giant river otter is the largest of the world’s 13 otter species, reaching six feet in length and weighing up to 70 pounds. A giant otter reclining on a riverside log, its powerful hind legs giving its body the shape of a sidelong question mark, is as regal, and as prepossessing, as any cheetah or tiger. After the jaguar, the giant otter is South America’s largest and most capable predator. But unlike the jaguar—and all other otters as well—it lives and hunts in groups of up to nine individuals. In 1978, a group of giant otters attacked a Brasília policeman at the city’s zoo. The off-duty sergeant tried to rescue a child who had fallen into an enclosure containing an otter family and pups. (He died of infections caused by their bites. The child survived.)

R239, I know some of those big fuckers. Not assholes if not provoked. But I’ll tell you this: big hands doesn’t equal big knobs. There’s a reason they travel in packs: to get their cocks up a she-otter at least two of them have to push the fucker to get it all the way up.

Dear Mr Thanksgiving Otter,

why am I such a sad and lonely kid? :-(

What have I done to deserve being a member of the Trump family? :'-(

And out of sheer curiosity: What does top, bottom respectively mean?

Fanks in advance.

Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. Otter. I’ve left some raspberry-herring pies out, just for you, if you want to swing by.

Well, Barron, living in a gilded cage is sad and lonely. And fucking tacky, but don’t tell your dad that - I don’t want to be audited again. I don’t declare that disastrous gin DL pays me as “income” - it goes in and then it goes out, if you know what I mean. Well, of course you do - your mom’s a Slovenian whore. Oh and you’ve done nothing to deserve being a Trump unlike the parts of the country who voted the fucker in. He’s more disastrous than the gin.

Hmmm. “Top” and “bottom”. How do I put this. Top is your dad when he’s screwing the country. Bottom is the country. Capiche?

Don’t hesitate to ask more.

R242, swing by fucking what? You’ll find me Sal’s Bar. I get my mail and, erm, packages there to. And what the puppy fuck is a raspberry-herring pie? Sounds like an abomination. I’m sure I’ve been in streams in Cleveland more appetizing than that feces-inspired recipe.

Mr. Otter, I thought raspberry-herring pie was your favorite? Should I tell them to “hold the raspberry”? I’m not sure about that, it sounds naughty. Don’t you like raspberry?

Hold the raspberry? Fuck that shit, R245. Hold the fucking herring. And you know what you could do to the raspberries, you fruit? Ferment them. That’s the only way they’re any good. “Raaaaaaaaaaspberries!” Did I say that like one of your bitch-goddess idols? Sure I did. Hold the raspberry. Hold the herring. Give me 90 proof.

And, R245, regarding the article you linked see my response from upthread when the same article was linked. Do you have a microdick attention span, you crusty foreskin pus?

[quote] I know some of those big fuckers. Not assholes if not provoked. But I’ll tell you this: big hands doesn’t equal big knobs. There’s a reason they travel in packs: to get their cocks up a she-otter at least two of them have to push the fucker to get it all the way up.

How about Herring Meringue pie? Does that stike your fancy, Mr. Choosy?

You look like a fucking meringue, Mr. Fancy. Now go stick a herring up your pie hole. I’m sure its spine is harder than the dicks of those who have tried to fuck you. You couldn’t get water in Antarctica hard.

Sorry, TO. To make up for R245, here is Rio and the River Otter.

Awwwww, R250, that’s fucking adorable. I can’t get over the thought the otter is kind of getting off on it, but other than that, “Awwwww”.

TO, what’s new? Do you still have that favorite rock you carry around with you all the time, inside of a roll of fat? It was a very nice rock, I thought.

Hey, Moose. Long time no post. Still being paid in peanuts? If so, you need to get that fat fuck friend of yours to renegotiate that contract. Don’t let him get more than five percent. He’s worth two at most, but fuck, you with hooves and shit can’t really write all that good.

What the hell are you talking about a stone and fat? This ain’t Absolutely Fabulous. Perhaps you’ve been taking the “stone” in Stoneham a bit too literally. If so lay off it. Your mom’s getting old and peanuts traded for weed ain’t gonna help pay the bills at the old moose home. You’re too good an egg to waste your life on being wasted. Unlike me. The sooner my liver gives out, the sooner I get to my idea of heaven: Bombay Sapphire fountain and young, fresh, tight and (especially) mute she-otters who’ve never heard the words “marriage”, “commitment” and “alimony”. Who the fuck am I kidding? Just kill me now and preferably before December. I don’t want to be subjected to the Kwanzaa Ferret’s rants about equal opportunity. Fucking spare me. There ain’t many white ferrets around so all the black ferrets got gigs.

Sorry back to you, Moose. How’s you, the zoo and mom?

Bye, TO! I’m glad you had your day in the sun today! See you next year.

[quote] Under each foreleg, the sea otter has a loose pouch of skin that extends across the chest. In this pouch (preferentially the left one), the animal stores collected food to bring to the surface. This pouch also holds a rock, unique to the otter, that is used to break open shellfish and clams.

Mother’s fine. She sends her love! She seems pretty happy to spend her days in the barn, eating peanuts, and watching her soaps. The zoo is getting quiet. They’ve shipped most of the reptiles to Florida. Why don’t they ship me to Florida, that what I want to know?

Oh my gosh, in exactly a month I’ll be in the air! I have to start practicing. Check back from time to time. Have you seen the mouse? You didn’t eat him, did you?

Oh that stone. I don’t have one of those. I’m just a plain river otter. And if I did have one of those, I’m sure the acid, bile and alcohol have dissolved that stone years ago.

Don’t be a stranger, Moose. I’ll be on your threads this season.

R251,

fank you so much, Mr Otter!

Btw, you're much cuter than those fat turkeys Dad pardoned. (He ate them alive on Air Force One while flying to Mar-a-Lago, that tasteless shithole, for the umpteenth time this year.)

Hey there, vacuumed fetuses. It's that time of year again when I force my smile for some pieces of silver in order to indulge my habits for the rest of the year. So what do you leaking abscesses want for Thanksgiving? Family harmony? Engorging yourselves to get even fatter, bags of lard? Cyanide to end your miserable lives? Or glass after glass of neat whiskey like me to pass the time and forget the fuckers like you I have to deal with until death takes me? Tell me. I'll see how I can intervene on your behalf. Fuck knows I don't want to be with you dried pus droplets. I do it for what DL/Mediapolis pays me and gives me to imbibe. Speak up, fuckers. Tell me what you want for Thanksgiving.

Violent otters are violent.

Mr. Otter, can you lick your own genitals?

[quote] Mr. Otter, can you lick your own genitals?

I've tried but little otter is just that - fucking little. So you and I have something in common.

Next question.

Fank you, Mr. Otter!

Mr. Otter, do you have any children? Do you want any? Don't you get lonely around the holidays?

Well fuck you too, river rodent.

I’m planning on making the Thanksgiving Otter his favorite raspberry-herring pie again this year. With extra raspberry liqueur this year, because he gets testy.

[quote] Mr. Otter, do you have any children? Do you want any? Don't you get lonely around the holidays?

[quote] Well fuck you too, river rodent.

Cut me some fucking slack, puss juice. I’ve been on a bender starting last Friday. Just woke up today on the bank of some unfamiliar stream and had to walk several miles to find my way home, puking and passing out along the way.

To answer your questions. Do aborted fetuses count? If not, then I haven’t had children. I always try to use protection when I pump she-otters, but what can I tell you? I’m a fucking drunk. I fuck up sometimes and forget the sheath for little otter or just put it on wrong. I sure as fuck don’t want any kids. Why the hell would I want an expensive, time consuming version of me around? I drink to forget my life. I don’t want another life around. Fuck that. And of course I don’t get lonely. I abhor others including otters. That Christmas Moose though - he’s okay. But no one better interrupt my drinking, cuntholes.

[quote] I’m planning on making the Thanksgiving Otter his favorite raspberry-herring pie again this year. With extra raspberry liqueur this year, because he gets testy.

To paraphrase The Godfather (one of the ones without Sofia Coppola in it): leave the pie, give me the liqueur. Capiche? Now go start baking, erm, fermenting.

What do you think about the recent trend of stores opening on Thanksgiving evening to get a headstart on Black Friday?

Are you to be served in lieu of turkey?

r265 Thank you, Mr. Otter. I love you, and I'm sorry for being cross.

He’s really quite a charmer, the TO!

[quote] What do you think about the recent trend of stores opening on Thanksgiving evening to get a headstart on Black Friday?

I don't give a damn or a fuck. If those stores can get the fucking, fat idiots to line up at the ass crack of dawn and fall over each other to hand away their welfare money, more power to them. What I can't stand is their selling holiday crap earlier and earlier each year. I want to get drunk on Halloween, not be ho ho ho-ing for Christmas unless there's an actual ho involved.

[quote] Are you to be served in lieu of turkey?

Your mom liked to be served otter up the ass. So yeah, let's go for it. Is her last name "Gere"?

[quote] Thank you, Mr. Otter. I love you, and I'm sorry for being cross.

Yeah, yeah. So what are you thankful for?

[quote] He’s really quite a charmer, the TO! Said Nobody

Your little brother did before the parish priest told him he'd get him a pet otter if he told nobody their little secret. Very little secret.

So do any of you aneurysm clots have anything else you're thankful for? Any other Thanksgiving wishes?

Hey Ottie! I was just asking about you in another thread and then POOF!! you magically appear! It's Kismet I tells ya.

I am the lady nutria who attempted to woo you with an offer of a bottle of Glenmorangie and some interspecies rodent-otter lovin' two years ago. Unfortunately you cunted out on me and I clambered back into my bayou in St. Capitous Parish where I live most of the year.

So my feelings have mended and I still have the liter of scotch...what say you swing on by tomorrow after your big luncheon feast? We can watch the Cowboys and Redskins game and get sloshed together. I will make my famous crawfish baby turtle trifle for your post coital delight.

Hey,,Mr. Otter, did you get the pies I left out for you? There were two. Both raspberry-herring, with lots of raspberry liqueur. I know you’re busy, but did you try them?

Happy birthday, cunt!

Hmm, did you? Hmm?

Here, boy. Here, boy!

I would bet my 401K the TTO is currently suffering through the mother of all hangovers. He tends to be more of a night owl poster.

I hope he will at least give us a shout on his big day. If not I will officially request that Mediapolis dock his peanut/booze per diem.

We have a crappy otter.

[quote] I am the lady nutria who attempted to woo you with an offer of a bottle of Glenmorangie and some interspecies rodent-otter lovin' two years ago. So my feelings have mended and I still have the liter of scotch...what say you swing on by tomorrow after your big luncheon feast? We can watch the Cowboys and Redskins game and get sloshed together. I will make my famous crawfish baby turtle trifle for your post coital delight.

Hey, nutria, I remember you from somewhere in the fog that is my whiskey-steam mind. Glenmorangie is one of my favorite scotches. Hey, some nutria are better-looking dames than she otters. She otters can be so fucking prissy and such demanding pains in the ass simultaneously. Some of the nutria I’ve known (Biblically) want to be fucked as much as I want to fuck them. They’re some wild bitches. And their pussies tend to be tighter than she otter pussy despite the constant fucking they endure. They hold up well.

I’m still at this cunting Mediapolis Thanksgiving party playing mascot clown for my paymasters. I’m on a smoke (and drinking, of course) break. It gets stuffy in the basement of one of the web designer’s mother. This particular designer was largely responsible for the current version of DL. Needless to say, he’s shunned and has developed a big drinking and meth issue. They only use him to have the holiday parties in his mom’s basement.

Yeah. So nutria if you still have the snatch and scotch (especially the scotch) feel free to stop by after midnight. It takes me a while to get back to the stream. And keep the turtle. Just bring the scotch. I’m looking forward to eating and fucking your nutria-cious snatch.

[quote] Hey,,Mr. Otter, did you get the pies I left out for you? There were two. Both raspberry-herring, with lots of raspberry liqueur. I know you’re busy, but did you try them? Happy birthday, cunt!

[quote] Hmm, did you? Hmm?

I did. It’s a bitch to strain the raspberry liqueur out a god-damned pie, but I managed to get some of it out. It was a bit sweet for my taste but hey it had alcohol content left so it did its job!

And it’s not my birthday, you idiot tongue zit.

[quote] We have a crappy otter.

And if anyone knows crap intimately it’s you. Are you Erna?

My smoke break is up. I’ll respond to the rest of you wasted of a fuck soon.

[quote] We have a crappy otter.

And if anyone knows crap intimately it’s you. Are you Erna?

My smoke break is up. I’ll respond to the rest of you wastes of a fuck soon.

‘bout time!

Obviously not a union job!

[quote] would bet my 401K the TTO is currently suffering through the mother of all hangovers. He tends to be more of a night owl poster. I hope he will at least give us a shout on his big day. If not I will officially request that Mediapolis dock his peanut/booze per diem.

I didn’t realize Walmart had 401Ks. Mediapolis sure as fuck doesn’t for its mascots. And I don’t get paid in peanuts. That’s a deal the Moose has. He’s kind of “simple”, but I like him. I don’t like to use that other phrase that’s used to describe him, but it’s accurate.

[quote] Obviously not a union job!

Us mascots have given some thought to unionizing, but after the mysterious deaths of a couple of them (Christmas Mouse and Boxing Day Vole) the effort lost some steam. I won’t say who we suspect, but her initial is M. and her last name ain’t Streep. Their replacements, the Moose and Capybara, respectively, are not really the types to be incensed to fight for equity. The Moose is kind of passive actually. Anywho, umbilical fluids, ask for any Thanksgiving requests and what the fuck you’re thankful for or, better yet, ungrateful for.

What about this fella? He’s been waiting for an assignment. Not some crappy holiday where people have to work, too.

TO, what do you do the rest of the year?

[quote] What about this fella? He’s been waiting for an assignment. Not some crappy holiday where people have to work, too.

How about Columbus Day, FOCM? He could be the Columbus Day Chacoan Peccary. If he gets the job, make him insist that he is not paid in peanuts or bitcoin. The Moose got a raw deal and not raw in the fun baby’s ass spanked til his meat is tenderized sort of way. Mediapolis cunts still laugh at how they fleeced the Moose. If they offer him anything other than real money or booze or the occasional whore tell him to threaten them by pricking them. Some of them might get excited when they hear “prick”, but the sun-baked placentas in HR and Accounting are Jews so they might understand that when they’re pricked they bleed. And a prick can bleed too. Trust me; I know. Mediapolis rent me the occasional she otter. The peccary can use this as a bargaining chip. It may be hard to procure another peccary them being endangered and all. Will a porcupine satisfy his urges?

Does the peccary also work and/or live at the Stone Zoo? If so tell him to keep his day job. The mascot gig is only good for booze and whores. You know - the “basics”. The day job keeps the other stuff going like food and healthcare going aka “luxuries” I can do without.

[quote] TO, what do you do the rest of the year?

I drink. Next question.

Well, okay then! I shall relay the news. Cash only!

Yo, nutria, I’m finally away from the pathetic ant-covered afterbirth at the Mediapolis party. It will take about 45 minutes to an hour to get to my burrow by the stream. If you’re up for it and, of course, bring the Glenmorangie, little otter will be up for you too. I have some viagra I stole from unsuspecting Mediapolis employees who who were passed out in the basement. Like they’re getting any anyway.

Why don't you just leave, Thanksgiving Otter? My loyalty is with the Valentine Day Vulture. Blocked.

By, Mr. Oyster! See you next year!

I think you’re a west coast otter, that’s what I think.

Hey, fuckers. It's that cunting time of year again. Ho ho ho. I know several hos. What are your Thanksgiving wishes, dried urine stains?

Hello, Mr. Otter! I’ve missed you! You never call, you never write! But thanks for asking.

I would like a Stan Getz CD for my friend, and a bag of feed for Mother. A bushel of carrots and a quart of peanut butter (chunky style, please) for me. I’ll share with mother.

Thank you!

Love,

T0, did you eat the Christmas Mouse?

Otters are known for such things. Especially this one.

TO, you have a typo in your header. I think you meant, “Thank you, Christmas Moose”, haha. Very funny!

R299 (aka the Moose), I appreciate you. You don't get enough respect as a Mediapolis/DL mascot or as a docent. And you sure as bloody fuck don't get paid enough (Muriel should pay you cash money not peanuts). You're much better than that fucking snack-tim-onious mouse or the Boxing Day capybara who I suspect killed the Boxing Day vole for da gig. I can't manage a "bushel of carrots and a quart of peanut butter", but a quart of some industrial liquor I can manage. Let me know if you're interested. As for your friend, if I were you I'd give a second thought about him. He seems, I don't know, light in the loafers, if you get my meaning, as does his ass-istant, Rudolph or whatever the fuck his name is. Speaking of Rudolph, don't let that fatass Santa pay you in literal peanuts this Christmas. You're worth so much more (and not in bitcoin).

On a side note, do you known any of dem Durrell Creatures? I have a few things I can "market" to them. Like their freedom and some high-grade...I digress.

Don't let the mother (not your mother) fuckers get you down.

[quote] T0, did you eat the Christmas Mouse?

Fuck off, Pierre. You're an ant in the afterbirth at best. I didn't kill no mouse. That mouse ain't dead. He's just lying low and not down low. I'm not a fan of his, but he wasn't a "bad egg" so to speak.

that time of year again, I see

[quote] that time of year again, I see

If you don't like it, fuck off to your bedroom that has only seen a single person (plus your hand) within its walls, hernia ridge.

Would it have killed you to have at least posted a picture or link OP? Would it? I mean would that have really been so hard? Would it? Why don’t you try to think more of others next time before you post? What's your problem? I mean really, what's your damn problem?

R306, you're not even worthy of a cunt's dried outer skin dandruff. Fuck away, dude.

R306, you're not even worthy of a cunt's dried outer skin dandruff. Fuck away, dude.

Hello, TO, nice to hear you’re up and around! I want you to know, I don’t believe anything people say about you. I think you’re a good egg, way down, deep inside that teeny little brain of yours!

I’ve baked you a raspberry-herring pie with a peanut-powder glaze on top. I’ll leave it on the windowsill to cool where you can get at it. I’ve got a lemon-herring pie in the oven now, and my friend tells me that his condo association has just fined him $200 for the smell, lol. I guess they’re jealous. Maybe I’ll have to bake pies for the trustees? I did step in the raspberry pie by accident, but you can eat around that, I figure.

Your pal,

You seem to have some pent up sexual frustration towards the Christmas Mouse.

Apparently the Thanksgiving Otter can neither give nor receive love, credibly. Right, Preppy?

And I was just getting used to embracing the Flag Day Yak!

Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. Otter, and to all of us gathered here.

Gobble gobble

Big Moose smooches, Thanksgiving Otter! Have a good day!

"On a side note, do you known any of dem Durrell Creatures?"

I believe they are still living on the island of Corfu.

Putting you under his spell

Moose, thanks for the pie. I don’t remember what it tasted like because I was drunk and then passed out. I seem to recall a fishy taste, but perhaps that was just after breath from a she-otter tasting. Who knows? Pie? Cunnilingus? Both warm places to put your mouth and with about the same personality, i.e., none.

Moose, why don’t you have an authcunticated name? You of all people should have one.

[quote] You seem to have some pent up sexual frustration towards the Christmas Mouse.

And you seem to have a pent up mouse in your anal cavity. Call Richard Gere for tips on making the most of it.

[quote] Apparently the Thanksgiving Otter can neither give nor receive love, credibly. Right, Preppy? —Ali MacGraw (cough)

And you can’t act.

[quote] And I was just getting used to embracing the Flag Day Yak!

As long as they pay their union dues and there are enough holidays to go around, I’m fine with a yak. I’m thinking of running for office in the union. I understand at least one mascot gets paid in peanuts which is prohibited under the collective bargaining agreement. That must stop!

[quote] Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. Otter, and to all of us gathered here. —Hope everyone enjoys themselves

Your saccharine treacle induces me to vomit and not from my usual alcohol-fueled bonfires. It makes me want to take Tiny Tim out back and break his legs so as to snuff the positive attitude out of him permanently.

[quote] Gobble gobble —ListeningToBeethoven

Gobble gobble is the sound you make when you gargle cum. Given your lack of attractiveness, the cum is likely your own.

[quote] "On a side note, do you known any of dem Durrell Creatures?" I believe they are still living on the island of Corfu.—The St. Swithins Day Groundhog

Well if you run into them let me know. There’s a silverback tortoise that owes me aged whiskey he’s been “safekeeping” under his shell for years. He avoids me, and I suspect he slowly drank it himself the bastard.

[quote] The St. Swithins Day Groundhog

Oh and groundhog, don’t let the fact you’re little stop you from collecting proper pay and benefits. We Mediapolis/DL mascots have a collective bargaining agreement that provides for basic pay and benefits including dental. By the looks of it some don’t take advantage of the dental (I’m looking at you Boxing Day Capybara. Don’t give me the NHS/I’m now British excuse. You’re South American and deserve to have a fine set of teeth - all four of ‘em.)

[quote] Putting you under his spell

That spell better have alcohol or it ain’t working.

[quote] TO: Moose, why don’t you have an authcunticated name? You of all people should have one.

Muriel wants to dock me my peanut income in exchange for an authenticated name, which is not edible, so I go without.

[quote] authenticated name, which is not edible

Not edible? I ate my name I was so hungry. Now I go by...

YUMMO!

Hey, cuntwipes. It's me, the otter, and it's that time of year again. I have to do my duty for the Mediapolis empire to get my cash and booze. So what are you diseased blood droppings doing this Thanksgiving? Are you getting together with your relatives, or are they dead from the current plague? I'm hoping to catch some she-otter in my trap, lick her hairy, prickly snatch and, of course, drink and smoke.

Man has this shit jumped the shark.