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Let's Pretend We're a Stanley Kubrick Film!

I'm the arch line delivery!

by Anonymousreply 16205/02/2014

I'm the retake # 108.

by Anonymousreply 110/17/2013

I'm Shelly Duvall's cigarette ash.

by Anonymousreply 210/17/2013

I'M Spartacus!

by Anonymousreply 310/17/2013

I'm Tony Curtis's toga.

by Anonymousreply 410/17/2013

I'm the extremely long tracking shot.

by Anonymousreply 510/17/2013

I'm the extremely long tracking shot.

by Anonymousreply 610/17/2013

I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir". Do you maggots understand that?

by Anonymousreply 710/17/2013

Hello, I'm Shelley Duvall!

Hello, I'm Shelley Duvall!

Hello, I'm Shelley Duvall!

Hello, I'm Shelley Duvall!

Hello, I'm Shelley Duvall!

by Anonymousreply 810/17/2013

I am... in a world... of shit!

by Anonymousreply 910/17/2013

Spartacus was a film he took over directing at the last minute. He didn't have much say in it

by Anonymousreply 1010/17/2013

I'm that weird kid that keeps saying "redrum".

by Anonymousreply 1110/17/2013

I'm that really overrated film called "Eyes Wide Shut".

by Anonymousreply 1210/17/2013

I'm the undercurrent of sadistic dark humour.

by Anonymousreply 1310/17/2013

I'm the compulsive symmetry.

by Anonymousreply 1410/17/2013

I'm the douchbag bro who owns the box set of Kubrick films and thinks he's culturally elite.

by Anonymousreply 1510/17/2013

I am the three wasted hours of your life that you will never get back after seeing EYES WIDE SHUT.

by Anonymousreply 1610/17/2013

I'm the perfectly symmetrical structure - exactly half-way through the film, the story takes a 180.

by Anonymousreply 1710/17/2013

I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you. It's called "Daisy".

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do. I'm half crazy, all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage. I can't afford a carriage. Buut yoou'll loooooook sweeeeeeeet... uppppppooon the... seeeeeeeeat.... of a bi...cy.....cle..... built..... for......... twooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

by Anonymousreply 1810/17/2013

R21 No, you could not.

by Anonymousreply 1910/17/2013

I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.

by Anonymousreply 2010/17/2013

I'm married to an annoying, dippy bug-eyed bitch with a schizophrenic son and I can't think of anything to write and I'd give my goddamn soul for a glass of beer....

by Anonymousreply 2110/17/2013

I used to get mistaken for him constantly before he died.

by Anonymousreply 2210/17/2013

I'm the marriage that Eyes Wide Shut killed.

by Anonymousreply 2310/17/2013

I'm the screenwriter of Kubrick's next movie, "Datalounge Kills the 'Let's Pretend' Troll."

by Anonymousreply 2410/17/2013

I'm your gun

by Anonymousreply 2510/17/2013

I'm the boring underwhelming sex scenes in "Eyes Wide shut" that were supposedly so controversial and daring.

by Anonymousreply 2610/17/2013

I'm the snails AND oysters.

by Anonymousreply 2710/17/2013

I'm the films that never got made because he spent far too much time obsessively doing "research" (such as hiring a someone to photograph streets for a whole year) and ended up being beaten by another director's similarly-themed film

by Anonymousreply 2810/17/2013

I'm the long shot of people sitting around a well-lit space having cordial conversation.

by Anonymousreply 2910/17/2013

I'm "Barry Lyndon," the most boring movie ever made!

by Anonymousreply 3010/17/2013

I'm the lighting in Barry Lyndon

by Anonymousreply 3110/17/2013

I'm Shelley Duvall's tears.

by Anonymousreply 3210/17/2013

I'm the striking violence and the unsettling viewing it provokes

by Anonymousreply 3310/17/2013

I'm the road markings that spoil the illusion that this is the US Marine Corps training depot and not an army base in England.

by Anonymousreply 3410/17/2013

I'm Nicole Kidman's splendid ass.

by Anonymousreply 3510/17/2013

I'm the 200 palm trees brought in from Spain to make England look like Vietnam because I won't film anywhere else.

by Anonymousreply 3610/17/2013

I'm the Schubert Piano Trio in Barry Lyndon, which was NOT boring at all.

by Anonymousreply 3710/17/2013

I'm the closeted elder gay who asks Sterling Hayden to go away with me in the The Killing.

by Anonymousreply 3810/17/2013

red rum red rum red rum red rum

by Anonymousreply 3910/17/2013

I'm the creeping topiary from Stephen King's book that was not used in the film.

by Anonymousreply 4010/17/2013

That's true, R11, but the only interesting compositions and camera movements are in the first segment, which was directed by Anthony Mann.

by Anonymousreply 4110/18/2013

I am the British dustbins doing a bad imitation of New York trash cans in the street scenes of Eyes Wide Shut, reminding the audience that the film was shot in England.

by Anonymousreply 4210/18/2013

I'm the hooker

by Anonymousreply 4310/18/2013

I am a phallic rocket ship simulating intercourse as I dock on a space station that looks like a rotating fertility symbol.

by Anonymousreply 4410/18/2013

I'm the monolith that alters history.

by Anonymousreply 4510/18/2013

I'm the Kubrick glare.

by Anonymousreply 4610/18/2013

I'm the old in-out!

by Anonymousreply 4710/18/2013

I'm the real life daughter that got swallowed up by Scientology, never to be heard of or seen again.

by Anonymousreply 4810/18/2013

And I thought NY had never looked better at night on film... I do prefer England.

by Anonymousreply 4910/18/2013

I'm "Surfin' Bird."

by Anonymousreply 5010/18/2013

I am the composoer of the portentous modern-classical music you hear in the background, but you probably never heard of me.

by Anonymousreply 5110/18/2013

I'm not wearing a suit, this happens to be an RAF uniform!

by Anonymousreply 5210/18/2013

I'm not going down in history as the greatest mass murderer since Adolf Hitler.

by Anonymousreply 5310/18/2013

MEIN FUHRER! I CAN VALK!

by Anonymousreply 5410/18/2013

I'm Peter Sellers and I'm not playing Major Kong as well.

by Anonymousreply 5510/18/2013

I'm sorry, Dave.

by Anonymousreply 5610/18/2013

I'm Private Cowboy and this Vietnam: The Movie!

by Anonymousreply 5710/18/2013

I'm John Wayne

by Anonymousreply 5810/18/2013

I'm a horse.

by Anonymousreply 5910/18/2013

I'm a rock.

by Anonymousreply 6010/18/2013

I'm Ann-Margret

by Anonymousreply 6110/18/2013

I'm a rabid buffalo.

by Anonymousreply 6210/18/2013

I'm General Custer

by Anonymousreply 6310/18/2013

I'm Lady Lyndon's tepid bath water.

by Anonymousreply 6410/18/2013

Who'll play the Indians?

by Anonymousreply 6510/18/2013

Hey, we'll let the gooks play the Indians!

by Anonymousreply 6610/18/2013

I'm the guy who pretended to be him and was later played by John Malkovich in a movie that vanished without trace.

by Anonymousreply 6710/18/2013

I am Sarabande.

by Anonymousreply 6810/18/2013

I'm merrily committing war crimes and no one's attempting to stop me.

by Anonymousreply 6910/18/2013

Does this mean Ann-Margret's not coming?

by Anonymousreply 7010/18/2013

I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain!

by Anonymousreply 7110/18/2013

I'm going to take a giant shit on you if you don't get your head and your ass wired together. (and take off that damn button)

by Anonymousreply 7210/18/2013

I'm the creepiest Kubrick character of them all.

by Anonymousreply 7310/18/2013

Because it can't be stated enough: I'm England! I'll always be England!

by Anonymousreply 7410/18/2013

I'm the monophonic soundtrack.

by Anonymousreply 7510/18/2013

I'm Delbert Grady in the red bathroom, informing Jack You've always been the caretaker.

by Anonymousreply 7610/18/2013

I'm the swastika hidden way in the back of the Gold Room in the Shining.

by Anonymousreply 7710/18/2013

I'm chair that appears and disappears and appears and disappears screenshot after screenshot when Jack sets a few rules for Wendy while he's writing.

by Anonymousreply 7810/18/2013

I'm the "Go" in LET. HIM. GO.

by Anonymousreply 7910/18/2013

I'm the same few piano keys that are played over and over again in Eyes Wide Shut.

by Anonymousreply 8010/18/2013

I'M CHIEF OFFICER BARNES. ARE YOU NOW, OR HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AHOMSEXZALL?

by Anonymousreply 8110/18/2013

NOW BEND OVER WHILE I LOOK UP YOUR ARSEHOLE FOR DRUGS.

by Anonymousreply 8210/18/2013

I'm looking at the big board. How do you like that, General Turgidson?

by Anonymousreply 8310/18/2013

I'm gonna git them doors open if it hair-lips ever'body on Bear Creek.

by Anonymousreply 8410/18/2013

I'm pissed because Shelley's just missed her cue. We're fucking killing ourselves out here and she's not ready!

by Anonymousreply 8510/18/2013

I'm losing hunks of hair.

by Anonymousreply 8610/18/2013

Hunks of hair, huh? (sceptically holding 3 pitiful stands of hair up the camera lens for posterity)

by Anonymousreply 8710/18/2013

I'm going to take a piss. (shuts bathroom door revealing Page 3 girl from The Sun pinned up on it)

by Anonymousreply 8810/18/2013

I had the task of typing out dozens of pages of "All work and no play make Jack a dull boy" (no copy & paste back then!)

by Anonymousreply 8910/18/2013

We're lost in the bloody hedge maze! Help!

by Anonymousreply 9010/18/2013

I'm the fake band shown in the Top Ten records in the Chelsea Drugstore scene in A Clockwork Orange that inspires the name of a real band.

by Anonymousreply 9110/19/2013

I'm Shelley Winters' desperation.

by Anonymousreply 9210/22/2013

I'm in the noodles Jack orders instead of rice at the beginning of "The Making of the Shining".

by Anonymousreply 9310/22/2013

"You look cute in your red sweater, hon."

I'm the red sweater.

by Anonymousreply 9410/22/2013

I'm the creepy men leading the daughter away around a corner in the toy store final scene of Eyes Wide Shut, the same men who appeared at Ziegler's party at the beginning, as the narcissistic parents (Cruise and Kidman) return to their somnambulistic opulence.

by Anonymousreply 9510/22/2013

I'm Alan Cumming, and I forgot I wasn't still in Cabaret when we shot my lousy scene as a gay stereotype.

by Anonymousreply 9610/22/2013

I was cast in dual roles:

I was the Apollo shuttle on Danny's sweater, and I also played the note in Jack's hand in the ballroom photograph at the end.

by Anonymousreply 9710/22/2013

OP, why don't you pretend to be an adult.

by Anonymousreply 9810/22/2013

I'm the ominous repeating piano chord of "Eyes Wide Shut."

Plink!... Plink!... Plink!

by Anonymousreply 9910/22/2013

I'm the car that runs over Shelley Winters in "Lolita."

by Anonymousreply 10010/22/2013

I'm the scene in the bathroom.

by Anonymousreply 10110/22/2013

I'm private property.

by Anonymousreply 10210/22/2013

I'm the seemingly immaterial props and set elements that on closer examination reveal important clues that reference back to the cryptic central themes being communicated.

by Anonymousreply 10310/22/2013

I'm the German female singer. And I'm relieved the French soldiers are now singing with me, feeling all nostalgic and missing their moms. Phew!

by Anonymousreply 10410/22/2013

I'm a lady journalist interviewing that snotty Alex Delarge and I DO know how to spell Beethoven, thank you very much!

by Anonymousreply 10510/22/2013

I'm a Prussian army uniform and I don't look that bad on Ryan O'Neal.

by Anonymousreply 10610/22/2013

We are the two gay British officers.

We are having a sentimental scene in the water.

But actually, we look a bit ridiculous in the director's eye and our clothes get stolen.

by Anonymousreply 10710/22/2013

I'm a precious bodily fluid.

by Anonymousreply 10810/22/2013

I'm James Mason's weird sexiness in Lolita.

by Anonymousreply 10910/22/2013

I'm a hidden illuminati symbol.

by Anonymousreply 11010/22/2013

I'm the bear in every scene in The Shining: stuffed or living. I'm a versatile actor.

by Anonymousreply 11110/23/2013

[quote]OP, why don't you pretend to be an adult.

R105 = the old woman in the bathtub from The Shining.

by Anonymousreply 11210/23/2013

I'm the sleeping audience.

by Anonymousreply 11310/23/2013

I'm John Candy's character in Spaceballs. That man in the bear suit at the end of The Shining was really me, I just appeared so quickly you didn't notice.

by Anonymousreply 11410/24/2013

I'm the topless black girl with the biggest afro you've ever seen on the wall above Scatman Crothers' television set. My comical appearance detracts from the tense atmosphere a little.

by Anonymousreply 11510/24/2013

I'm Barry Nelson, who plays the Overlook Hotel manager. Did you know I was the first actor to play James Bond on screen?

by Anonymousreply 11610/24/2013

I'm Keir Dullea. After 2001: A Space Odyssey my career sunk into obscurity even more than Mark Hamill's did after Star Wars.

by Anonymousreply 11710/24/2013

I'm Danny Torrance's tricycle, I make a lovely sound as my plastic wheels roll over the rugs and hard floor.

by Anonymousreply 11810/24/2013

I'm Wendy Torrance at The Overlook Hotel. Over.

by Anonymousreply 11910/24/2013

Hi Mrs. Torrance, how are you and your family getting on over there at the Hotel?

Over.

by Anonymousreply 12010/24/2013

Oh, we're doing just fine up here. Over.

by Anonymousreply 12110/24/2013

That's great to hear, Mrs. Torrance. The weather report says the blizzard isn't going to let up anytime soon. Says the worst we've had in years.

Over.

by Anonymousreply 12210/24/2013

Mrs. Torrance, your husband introduced you as Winifred. Now, are you a Winnie or a Freddy?

by Anonymousreply 12310/24/2013

I'm the curved fisheye lens that is used to shoot every single movie.

by Anonymousreply 12410/24/2013

I'm R132 and I need to have my vision checked.

by Anonymousreply 12510/24/2013

I applaud r120, and take him/her out for a lot of wine.

by Anonymousreply 12610/25/2013

I'm the tall skinny naked chick that appears in every one of Kubrick's later films.

by Anonymousreply 12710/25/2013

I'm the Steadycam.

by Anonymousreply 12810/25/2013

R135 His wife wasn't tall though (but she was pretty)

by Anonymousreply 12910/25/2013

I'm Roman Polanski. My 1999 film The Ninth Gate was nearly another example of R33

by Anonymousreply 13010/25/2013

I'm Steve Martin. Imagine how much more interesting Eyes Wide Shut could have been if I'd been in it instead of Tom Cruise.

by Anonymousreply 13110/25/2013

I'm the extra hour and a half that should've been cut (from every single one of his movies, save for 'Clockwork Orange").

by Anonymousreply 13210/25/2013

I'm Ryan O'Neal. I still don't know why Kubrick picked me as the lead in Barry Lyndon

by Anonymousreply 13310/25/2013

I'm Leelee Sobieski. I was lucky my scenes in EWS were shot before I hit a growth spurt because then I'd have towered over Tom and he would have made them replace me.

by Anonymousreply 13410/25/2013

We're the louts in EWS who bump into Tom Cruise and call him a fag. We were right all along.

by Anonymousreply 13510/25/2013

I'm Eightball, the main African-American soldier in the second half of in Full Metal Jacket. I have no problem with Animal Mother's racist wisecracks. Or am I just too scared of him?

by Anonymousreply 13610/25/2013

I'm a combat correspondent.

by Anonymousreply 13710/25/2013

Oh-ho, you seen much combat?

by Anonymousreply 13810/25/2013

I've seen a little on TV!

by Anonymousreply 13910/25/2013

You're a real comedian.

by Anonymousreply 14010/25/2013

Well they call me the Joker.

by Anonymousreply 14110/25/2013

Well, I've got a joke for you! I'm gonna tear ya a new asshole.

by Anonymousreply 14210/25/2013

[John Wayne voice] Well, pilgrim.....

Only after ya... pick the peanuts outta ma shee-it!

by Anonymousreply 14310/25/2013

Talk the talk... do you walk the walk?

by Anonymousreply 14410/25/2013

[stepping in before they start fighting] Now you might not believe this, but under fire Animal Mother's one of the finest human beings in the world. All he needs is someone to throw hand grenades at him for the rest of his life.

by Anonymousreply 14510/25/2013

I'm my own fantasy of getting plowed by Animal Mother.

by Anonymousreply 14610/25/2013

Thank God for the sickle cell.

by Anonymousreply 14710/25/2013

We're the twins in The Shining. We later merge into each other to become Christina Ricci.

by Anonymousreply 14810/25/2013

I'm a well-disciplined Vietcong.

by Anonymousreply 14905/02/2014

I'm the fourth hour of wishing I were somewhere else.

by Anonymousreply 15005/02/2014

I'm Ann-Margret's pubes that Rafterman never got a chance to photograph.

by Anonymousreply 15105/02/2014

I'm far, far too fat to get into the Marine in real life.

by Anonymousreply 15205/02/2014

I'm a Scientologist now and I've broken off all contact with my family.

by Anonymousreply 15305/02/2014

R160 I meant Marine Corps not Marine, I've never had any trouble entering an actual Marine.

by Anonymousreply 15405/02/2014
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