Sorry for the being stood up, r94. Have enjoyed your many posts on this thread.
Am wondering if the guy who stood you up "chickened out".
I could see myself doing the same thing, especially with online dates. I tend to self-sabotage relationships with guys I'm very attracted to and who like me.
You seem to know a lot about this guy. Have you had an online relationship with him and this was the first meet-up? Otherwise, if you already knew him and he stood you up, why no follow-up contact? Doesn't make sense.
You wrote [quote}But it would have done him a world of good, and that's what love was for me. As it is, he has been miserable most of his adult life, and I'm sure it would have turned out differently for him if we'd been together. He would have had more confidence and freedom.
That's a tall order. I wasted nearly my entire adult life, not to mention my finances, on trying to help and "change" my ex partner who has multiple issues. Got my own issues, too. Should have dealt with them instead of his. Don't get me wrong: we were once very much in love and that was a positive experience.
At this stage of my life, all I want is a regular, mature, fuck buddy with as little drama as possible and lots of laughs and cum loads. A few hours of intimacy per week and I'm good to go.
The two guys I'm seeing are dream boats, but as you said in another post, nobody "owns" another person's heart. Am trying not to fall in love so easily, or at least not show them my cards. I just want to boink them and accept my fantasies about being in love for what they are -- just fantasies. Am dating two men who are ultimately unavailable. When a man is attracted to me, I tend to ignore all of his flaws. But in the meantime, I'm having some fun, brief adventures.
Would rather just do a guy than have unrequited love. Giving a blow job in a parking lot has been more satisfying than giving away my heart. It is sort of a form of love and caring, but it does provide a sense of closure. When they kiss me, my knees get week. It feels great in the moment, but is temporary. As you said, we all end up dying alone.
I think you should call the guy and give him another chance for you to ravish him. The clock is ticking, whether we're having fun or not. We might as well at least have fun until that clock stops. Just my two cents.