It's the DL archive!!

The one I've ALWAYS been wanting to read is the legendary "Let's Pretend We're Sumerian Farmwives". I've never seen that one. I wish someone would post a copy. Maybe someday my wish will come true.

*kisses doll*

I thought a number of us here knew about that link.

I just reposted it in the WTC thread.

Read it? I lived it, bitch.

Love ya OP

OP, you're perfect!

What a blast from the past. I'm howling over the 2-foot tall bedsheet turban with mom's brooch on it, worn by the very enterprising 5-6 year old.

[quote]The one I've ALWAYS been wanting to read is the legendary "Let's Pretend We're Sumerian Farmwives". I've never seen that one.

Lots of jokes about chickpeas.

OP, consider yourself blown.

Love the Matt and Ben one!

And Let's Roll Cinnamon Rolls!

Revisiting dialing the phone with a pencil and laughing my head off. Best DL thread ever.

I loved the "Pete Burns Has Lowhangers" thread.

Not many posts but damn, it was funny. Especially with the photo.

Where is "Brett Mycles is Blazin Hot" or "The Hottest Dude on the Planet Named Zeb." Bump them.

No Golden Girls thread at all?

Where's Turkey Meatballs?

I boooink marked it

Who fucking cares?

I forgot how funny Let's Roll was.

How do I save these? Help!

It's Butters!

Print them, r18, as PDF files.

No Turkey Meatballs? damn...

I've only been coming to Datalounge for a few months and have seen many references to the "dialing a phone with a pencil" thread. I just read it and it definitely deserves its legendary status. I can say that I share some variation of about 80% of the experiences recounted in that thread. It brought back many hilarious and sweet memories.

I've always wanted to see the "Jessica Fletcher Takes on 9-11 Conspiracies" thread! Too bad it's not on that list... :(

[quote] I would climb to the top of the "jungle-gym" and sing "On A Clear Day" with my arms outstretched!

Tears on the side of my face!

"Internet panhandling. That defines tacky."

The Cash Bar thread predicted Kickstarter!

That thread is insane.

Where, oh where, Red Dragon Cheese?

Where's French Critic?

Speaking of dialing the phone (and I mean DIALING, not pressing buttons), does anyone remember those devices that had a spherical bulb on one end specifically designed to dial a phone? Sometimes they were on the end of a clear plastic letter opener. Ring any bells?

Here you go, r28:

And the version that all the little DLers probably wanted. I don't think it even works unless you snap off a snap-back earring before you put the receiver to your ear.

R22, I have to echo the sweetness element. Notice the dates and the lack of snarkiness in the thread. It is a joy to reread and says something about how DL and the culture have evolved in the last 10 years. Not that there weren't some serious bitches posting at that time, but they were funny, clever and not overwhelming.

Thanks OP!

Bump

I wish someone would archive the pages and pages of discussion of "Semi-Homemade" on TWOP before it goes down. Some of those were just a riot. I'm afraid the Cuomo campaign will buy them up and have them destroyed.

Good God, Meryl (the real one) was posting all over those. Definitely in the Let's Roll thread....don't ask how I know.

LOL--I forgot all about this from the origina "Little House" thread:

"Someone help me... not only is a tornado coming and gangrene is setting in on my infected hand, but I'm terminally boring and I can't get my husband out of his supertight pants! by: Caroline Ingalls"

Where can I find the David Ehernstein threads?

Brilliant posts from "Dialling a phone with a pencil," probably the quintessential Dl thread:

"1970. I am 6. My father brings his business partners home. They all talk about baseball. I walk into the living room and say, "I'm taking a poll. Who do you all think is prettier, Florence Henderson or Shirley Jones?""

***

"I would also imitate my favorite Alberto VO5 commericial and sashay importantly around the house, pointing to imaginary urban landmarks and smiling alluringly at my imaginary companions. When my mom would ask me what I was doing, I'd don my huskiest European supermodel voice and answer, "I'm Rula Lenska, and I'm showing friends around London." by: Joe P"

***

"8th grade. Big debate in my class about Vietnam. Catholic school, but a rather hip nun who indulged my attack on LBJ and the war (BTW, she later bailed out on the sisterhood--rumor was she ended up in the Village, love beads, jeans, all stardust and golden). There was this MAJOR asshole who was pro-war and always calling hippies "faggots." He was defending the war and arguing with me. I finally interrupted him with "You don't want to face the truth--JUST LIKE NORMA DESMOND IN SUNSET BOULEVARD!""

***

Also from "Dialling a phone with a pencil":

"when i was in 2nd grade, i found my mother's underwear drawer. I was entranced by elegance of the silk, and readily took a pair for my own use. I put them on, and thought i was a classy, popular and famous person. The next day, my mother was leaving for work, and my father was walking her to her car. I waved at her from the door and said, "Goodbye Mother! I'm wearing your underwear, and it is so comfortable". Both parents turn around, and are silent for about a minute. My father turns to my mother and looks at her. She looks at him. He then says, "Tell your son to take your god damned underwear off, Christine". I ran to my room and removed it. My father then drove me, in stoney silence, to school. It was never discussed again"

"AND, finally, when i was 8, Star Trek: The Next Generation came on. I was enamoured with Councilor Troy, and adored her terrible hairpiece (i would wrap beads around my head to emulate her look), and would go around in my tightest clothing (as she always wore a jumpsuit) and say to my mother, "i sense anger"."

***

"My god, I haven't remembered this in 30 years, but a recent thread brought it all back: I used to love to sit on barstools so I could spin and face the camera just like Barbara Bain in the opening credits to Space:1999."

***

"Okay, here's one, but not necessarily "Gay". Once when I was, I think 6 or 8, my mother was having a women's meeting or some shit like that and I was REALLY into "Batman" (the television series not the cartoon or comicbook) and more particularly the Batmobile, so once I was rummaging through my mothers "personal toiletries" cabinet- like any curious young queen would - and I noticed how her "Pristeen" vaginal antiperspirant (do pussys sweat?!?!) when sprayed, how big the cloud was that emitted from the nozzle, so being the creative genius that I was, I thought if I tied a towel around my neck, (for the cape)and ran around the house as if I were in the Batmobile, I would have the PERFECT "smoke screen"!! So to impress my mother and her friends, while they were delicately balancing their teacups on their laps, I RAN through the living room spraying the Pristeen behind me and apparently it was an effective smoke screen, because judging from the fits of coughing and the opening of doors and windows, it worked!! Unfortunately not enough to obscure my identity though, because I was grounded for the weekend. :("

The one I can't find in the "Dialing the phone with a pencil" thread was my favorite post of all--about the guy who worked out a baton twirling routine to the theme song of "Dallas" (which he had recorded on a tape recorder), and which he would perform for his completely baffled immigrant parents.

It must have been on the sequel thread (there were 3 or 4 of them).

It is a great tragedy that ""Goodbye Mother! I'm wearing your underwear, and it is so comfortable" never became a Datalounge meme. It may be one of the most brilliant things anyone ever posted here.

My God, I was still in my 20's when I posted on those threads.

And you'll still be here in your 50s, r42.

This needs to be preserved! Can't Webby give it a special spot off to the side in the margins, and a separate Link? Pleeeeese! It's part of our history!

There used to be a link to special archive threads listed above the W&W segment.

Pristeen Genital Deodorant

I started to read the 911 thread and had to stop. I'd forgotten that that thread was how I experienced that day while trapped at a desk in Nebraska. I kind of started to panic while reading it.

[quote]when I would get home from catholic school, I would take off my salt&pepper cords, tuck the tails of my white shirt under my blue sweater and pull down my t-shirt from the bottom so it looked like a skirt. I thought this was the best looking stewardess uniform and considered sending in a suggestion to TWA.

I thought this was so sweet.

Wasn't there also a post about a pre-teen shaking a cane at his family and yelling 'Anubis'???

R48, I keep imagining that quote in Little Edie's voice.

Bump

The original Helen Lawson thread where fans gave details of her career, in movies and TV specials was laugh out loud funny.

My gf dumped a 2 liter bottle of coke on the kitchen floor and then crab walked across the living room....

Oh, that Dialing with a Pencil thread brings up memories. When I was in 4th grade I was the lead in a little class room play where I played the butch dragon slaying King. My dad helped me make a sword and shield out of cardboard and gold spray paint, and my mom made a cape out of this gold glittery fabric. Basically a rectangle with a neck hole.

Don't remember what happened to the sword and shield, but alone in my room, I'd strip down to my tighty whities, put the cape on backwards, clothes pin the back and pretend I was a Solid Gold Dancer in a backless gold mini dress.

.

That pencil thread has been the best thing I've read in ages. The towel turban post (with the jewels) almost made me piss myself.

When will the tears stop ?

Or anything that upsets a bribe, or ruins a wedding!

[quote]where I played the butch dragon slaying King

Martin Luther or Billie Jean?

Great story, made me LOL!

Me too, R42. Surreal.

Dat's da suck job!

Interesting. The dialling the phone with a pencil thread didn't take off at first. The OP had to bump it.

I wonder where he is today.

From the Cash Bar thread [quote]"Does anyone else see the irony in a bunch of fags arguing about wedding ettiquette? "

Have you ever met a straight wedding planner? by: anonymoust03/10/2003

LMAO

Having read a lot of those now thanks to the OP reminding us all with this thread, I can honestly say that whilst there were clearly a lot more witty queens then the general tone and quality hasn't changed all that much.

What has changed is there are less 'classic' threads whereas in 2003 (obviously THE year for the DL) they were more frequent.

The most recent thread that could have that status is the Jodi Wedding Nightmare one. At least it proves there's life in the old dog yet!

From the "Idolized" thread

"if I can save just one other young aspiring unknown with an average voice, a funky'do and a pocketful of dreams from the filth and depravity of 'showbusiness' it will all have been worth it"

Crying with laughter as type

I wish the "Sows at the Trough" thread was on there....now that was a gut busting thread from srat to finish.

One of those archived threads is mine. I wouldn't have started it anytime in the past five years. Too much has changed.

The Dialing the phone with a pencil thread had a couple of posts written by mothers/aunts/uncles about their young ones and how they already thought they were pencil dialers and their plans to celebrate their uniqueness.

I wonder how that all turned out.

One of them was about a kid who must be 24 by now and another one involved a pregnant mother who now wanted her kid to be gay.

Also it is quite inspirational to read about some people's very dim hopes that gays would ever marry, especially in the Cash Bar thread.

Wow, I recognized a couple of my old posts. I was funnier then. Thanks, OP.

My friends' 7 year old son loves watching Beyonce, So You Think You Can Dance, and when he can get away with it, Downton Abbey. His parents don't seem to mind, but they weren't too happy when I taught him to say "You bedda WORK!" like RuPaul.

Does anyone remember when the first recorded use of "frau" on Datalounge occurred?

I missed the "homosex" thread

Yes, R60! An instant classic.

The Weird Little Girl Next Door is darkly delightful.

I loved the Matt and Ben ones

I'm a newer DL'er (3 years or so) but the difference seems to be.....

These threads were clever but only cutting/bitchy when/if the target deserved it.

Even in obvious cases of poking fun (dialing phone w/a pencil) there was a sweetness there, too.

Sadly, too many threads on the DL today are just ugly from R2 forward. (We all know R1 is always a bitch.)

I miss the "Aunt Diane" thread.

And I really liked the thread of making up "L&O" dialogues!

True Confessions time: my name is _________ and I'm the "evacuating as I type" poster from the hurricane thread.

I like the "DL Archives" thread from the DL archives link:

Bump--for a good time.

Does anyone know if it's possible to retrieve the contents of these two massive threads with behind the scenes Buffy and Angel gossip? They've since been deleted but from what I remember, they were 600+ posts in each and hence they were closed to new posts.

www.datalounge.com/cgi-bin/iowa/ajax.html#page:showThread,8802803

www.datalounge.com/cgi-bin/iowa/ajax.html#page:showThread,8816526

I got the links to these now deleted threads from this post that still exists on Joss Whedon.

www.datalounge.com/cgi-bin/iowa/ajax.html?t=9102845#page:showThread,9102845

Does anyone know if it's possible to retrieve the contents of these two massive threads with behind the scenes Buffy and Angel gossip? They've since been deleted but from what I remember, they were 600+ posts in each and hence they were closed to new posts.

www.datalounge.com/cgi-bin/iowa/ajax.html#page:showThread,8802803

www.datalounge.com/cgi-bin/iowa/ajax.html#page:showThread,8816526

I got those links to these now deleted threads from this post that still exists on Joss Whedon.

www.datalounge.com/cgi-bin/iowa/ajax.html?t=9102845#page:showThread,9102845

bump

[quote]I used to love to sit on barstools so I could spin and face the camera just like Barbara Bain in the opening credits to Space: 1999.

LOL!

Thanks OP.

I'm glad I didn't know about the phone dialing tool at r30, I probably would have done anything for one of those as a kid.

What about the legendary one where the question of refrigerating bread turned into an all-out bloodbath?

I loved the possum living in my kitchen drawer thread. Also the turkey meatball, not running a b&b thread.

Any links?

shoot, now it's gone for good

[quote]What about the legendary one where the question of refrigerating bread turned into an all-out bloodbath?

I was visiting relatives the other day & helped the wife clean up the kitchen after making sandwiches for lunch. She asked me to put the plastic bag of leftover bread into the refrigerator, where it would "keep fresh longer" than it would on the counter. Had to bite my tongue & then start chatting with the cat to keep from laughing. Thanks for the memories, DL.

so many threads, so many memories

OMG.....I never saw the Dialing thread, only heard about it.

Just read the entries above and I just snort laughed so loud and hard my cat hisses at me.

LOL! *tears*

My new neighbour is a gargoyle