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Why do many lesbians reject their femininity?

It's very frustrating as feminine gay woman who is attracted to the same to see these sexually ambivalent women in the bars. Yes, I live in L.A. so they are the minority, but still they ruin the vibe. Especially when they are of the stud variety who come on to ladies like 14 yr old boys! No class, no decorum. THEY SCARE ME!!

by Anonymousreply 28405/18/2015

So you think everyone should pretend to be something they don't want to be, just to conform to your standards?

by Anonymousreply 109/01/2013

They usually have cool clothes, the mechanic types

by Anonymousreply 409/01/2013

Maybe they don't want to accidentally attract cretins like you, OP.

by Anonymousreply 509/01/2013

You mean the ones that look like this Op?

by Anonymousreply 909/01/2013

I bet they get laid more than you do.

by Anonymousreply 1109/01/2013

Frankly OP this is the kind of shit i have to hear from freeps and Rush Limbaugh Dittoheads.

by Anonymousreply 1209/01/2013

R8, how about minding your own business. Do you also get this vocal about your dislike of men and gay sex? If it isn't going in your pussy, why are you being so judgemental? Nobody cares.

by Anonymousreply 1309/01/2013

What is femminity OP? High heels & red lipstick? I'd say its a freely expressed personality & sexuality with XX chromosomes

by Anonymousreply 1409/01/2013

Troll away!

by Anonymousreply 1809/01/2013

Is it something like this, OP?

by Anonymousreply 2009/01/2013

[quote] Especially when they are of the stud variety who come on to ladies like 14 yr old boys! No class, no decorum. THEY SCARE ME!!

There's a subset like this. I was seated at a bar talking with a friend and I felt someone light kicking at the base of the stool. I ignored it at first and it continued. I looked back and a woman dressed very much like a 14 yr. old was doing it. I said something like "oh, sorry, do you need more room?" moved the stool forward and continued talking with my friend. I didn't have a clue it was a sign of interest until my friend told me. Seriously? It's like pigtail pulling in the third grade.

by Anonymousreply 2109/01/2013

r21, sorry for that experience. I think we femmes need to shun them completely

by Anonymousreply 2209/01/2013

"They want to be heterosexual men."

No, they want heterosexual men to stay away.

by Anonymousreply 2409/01/2013

r24, if they hate men so much, why dress and act like them?

by Anonymousreply 2509/01/2013

Many butches seem like they are misogynistic

by Anonymousreply 2609/01/2013

r14, it's not acting like a man!!

by Anonymousreply 2709/01/2013

The misogynists are the ones who think all women should be required to look and behave a certain way so as not to offend their delicate sensibilities. OP, you sound like a narcissist to the extreme.

by Anonymousreply 2809/01/2013

R25, they don't hate men, you insecure idiot. They're indifferent. If that means 'hate' to you, you need therapy.

Is this about male privilege? And why are you queens so obsessed with this?

by Anonymousreply 3009/01/2013

They aren't going to change for you any more than you would be willing to go butch. The sooner you accept that and get over it, the better.

by Anonymousreply 3109/01/2013

Too often, the gay community seeks to copy the heterosexual model of sexual and social practice. I believe the sexual norms within mainstream gay culture betray the true bond between two women -a bond that often goes beyond what is displayed publicly for fear of shame and misunderstanding.

by Anonymousreply 3209/01/2013

We do not reject our femininity. We reject the objectivity.

by Anonymousreply 3409/01/2013

This is what I am talking about!! Thank God for the younger generation

by Anonymousreply 3609/01/2013

lesbians who conform to old stereotypes tend to be of the lower classes. Is this true for fag homos as well?

by Anonymousreply 3809/01/2013

R33, F&F.

by Anonymousreply 3909/01/2013

r38, word

by Anonymousreply 4009/01/2013

I don't know if it's a rejection of their femininity as much as it is an embracing of their masculine side. I am in between butch and lipstick and I envy the butches in that they seem to have much more confidence in approaching women whereas the lipstick lesbians are way too shy about it. I'm on an online dating site and 99% of the women who contact me are butches, even though I've stated in my profile I am not attracted to butch women. My friends who are butch, however never seem to be lacking from attention from lipstick lesbians. It's very strange and frustrating. However, if you ever talk to a butch, you come to realize pretty quickly that they are all bravado on the outside and are VERY insecure on the inside.

But I don't get it either. I am attracted to women who look like women.

by Anonymousreply 4109/01/2013

I'm a lesbian. Most people say I am not obviously gay. I guess that means I don't have gay face. I feel like a feminine woman but put me next to some of my girlfriends and I look downright butch. I am glad I don't feel the need to squeeze my feet into narrow six inch heels. I don't squeal over a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes or whatever and I'm fine with that. I'm glad I am comfortable in a simple blouse and pants. I wear lipstick on occasion but am not afraid to leave the house without makeup.

I don't wear men's clothes but I understand the appeal of them. They are comfortable, stylish and affordable. Go to any department store and just compare the men's and women's departments. Why do I, a woman, have to wear a fucking shirt with a three-quarter inch sleeve? Why is that better for women than a regular short sleeve? Not long ago, I could buy women's shirts with normal sleeves. I want a regular shirt, dammit. Every season, there are a million various styles that women are expected to adopt. Men have a pair of pants, a shirt and some shoes.

And let's not even get into the way clothes are sized. I bought three pair of pants today, each of them different brands and different sizes. Something tells me men don't encounter these issues.

I am thankful that our community consists of women who don't look alike, who are comfortable pursuing their own style choices and aren't ashamed to be individuals. Maybe one day, some of you will learn not to be so judgmental.

by Anonymousreply 4209/01/2013

R40, what's the problem? bulldykes is okay and fags isn't?

by Anonymousreply 4309/01/2013

Until the lesbian community rejects the butch/ femme paring, MOST lesbians will remain in closet

by Anonymousreply 4509/01/2013

And I should add, it's ok if you aren't attracted to butch women (or femmes). But you don't have to hate on them and diss them for the choices they make. Like you, they are entitled to express their personalities through their clothing, hair, etc.

Have you ever noticed how the world treats women who cannot help the fact that they have masculine features? The world is really nasty to people who don't, or can't, conform.

Not everyone is born looking like Cindy Crawford. Most people try to make the most out of what they've got. And I applaud them for that. I wish more lesbians and gay men embraced and supported people in their community. It's hard to be gay in this world. Let's not be against each other.

by Anonymousreply 4709/01/2013

Is the CK1 era Jenny Shimuzu considered butch? Because she is hot

by Anonymousreply 4809/01/2013

The world also treats women who don't 'fit' the norm for that particular culture in shitty ways too, so it ain't just about being masculine.

In SOME parts of the US fat girls get crapped on, older women are seen as undesireable, women of color don't get play or aren't seen as attractive (happens in the lesbian community), being a woman who doesn't want kids, yada yada and the list goes on. Folks are just uptight about people who don't fit certain expectations. Men have the same hassle. Tis life.

by Anonymousreply 4909/01/2013


by Anonymousreply 5009/01/2013

There is nothing more feminine or beautiful then two women discovery their female bodies together

by Anonymousreply 5209/01/2013

You asked why - probably for the same reasons they like women - there's probably something biological and genetic behind it. Gay men have the same problem except reversed.

by Anonymousreply 5309/01/2013

r53, so being gay has to do with wanting to be the opposite sex? Gotcha!

by Anonymousreply 5509/01/2013

The new femme on femme ideal arrived with the popularity of straight pornography. I can understand why a broad wouldn't want to have to get all dolled up just to get laid by another chick. All that teased hair, heavy makeup and wearing heels to bed just to share a dildo seems like a major hassle. I think it's fascinating that some lesbians have bought into the straight male ideal of what they should look like as sex objects.

by Anonymousreply 5609/01/2013

I was watching 'Windows' this morning starring Talia Shire and Elizabeth Ashley. In 1980 femme lesbians were portrayed as psychopaths. But then again Talia was flat chested with a pageboy hairdo and she got the guy in the end. Perhaps 'Windows' is why some people question the validity of lipstick lesbian pairings. That and the fact that lipstick lesbians tend to dump their mates almost as often as their alleged orientation. This is what wisdom I have gleaned from People magazine and the movie 'Windows'.

by Anonymousreply 5909/01/2013

It's very frustrating as feminine straight woman who is attracted to men to see lesbians in bars. Yes, I live in L.A. so they are the minority, but still they ruin the vibe. THEY SCARE ME!!

by Anonymousreply 6009/01/2013

R56 is most likely a guy.

by Anonymousreply 6109/01/2013

What if they don't really have any? Better to just butch out, but with mega style

by Anonymousreply 6209/01/2013

R55/R57, why don't you go fuck off to LChat. You'd love it there. You sound like you're trolling.

by Anonymousreply 6409/01/2013

LOL @ R56


"Dolled up"

"Teased hair"

Welcome, time traveler from 1950.

by Anonymousreply 6609/01/2013

I totally agree with R56

The younger set are striving toward a porn-influenced idea of what "feminity" is - it is actually a (lower) class give-away as much as the extreme butch look.

I think women can look attractive in a range of looks. I don't get worked up about it.

I actually like the androgynous look the best.

by Anonymousreply 6709/01/2013

r66 is awesome

by Anonymousreply 6909/01/2013

You know who is really awesome?

r8. Who is also r10, 22, 23, 25 26, 27, 29, 32, 33, 36, 37, 40, 44, 45, 46, 50, 51, 52, 54, 55, 57, 58, 63, 65.

by Anonymousreply 7009/01/2013

r70 rocks the universe!!!

by Anonymousreply 7109/01/2013

I want r41's phone number.

by Anonymousreply 7309/01/2013


by Anonymousreply 7409/01/2013

OP, butch lesbians don't reject their femininity. They are just naturally masculine in the same way lesbians(butch or femme) are simply not attracted to men. Why do you think these women are simply faking a masculine persona.

by Anonymousreply 7509/02/2013

protection---they want to repeal men

by Anonymousreply 7609/02/2013

No, gay man with a basic education.

by Anonymousreply 7909/02/2013

What the hell R82?!

by Anonymousreply 8309/02/2013

I like the angry British lesbian!

by Anonymousreply 8509/02/2013

r84, word!

by Anonymousreply 8609/02/2013

OP, the lesbians who reject femininity are rejecting societal norms for how society thinks women should look which entails certain restrictions that are imposed on the looks of women.

They also reject their feminity because they identify more strongly with men than women.

by Anonymousreply 8809/02/2013

Fran Lebowitz is hot, actually

by Anonymousreply 8909/02/2013

On the lighter side, R42, I recently found out that Jimmy Choo makes some boots that those who don't like heels would be interested in. They might not be feminine enough for our dear OP...

by Anonymousreply 9209/02/2013

Op if you think you have it bad, try living in England where even the straight women look like dykes! BTW Which state has a more femme gay scene? New York?

by Anonymousreply 9409/02/2013

r82, lots of caps and exclamation marks in a misandrist posting like that is the hallmark of the late, long-gone poster known as pussylips, not Nan Michiganwomyn.

by Anonymousreply 9609/02/2013

I thought there were a lot of lesbians that looked like straight women in London.

by Anonymousreply 9709/02/2013

r97, there are actually! The best place for femmes for femmes is Australia

by Anonymousreply 9809/02/2013

R82 All they said that medical marijuana doesn't induce paranoia and insanity. Well I guess your post certainly proves otherwise.....

by Anonymousreply 9909/02/2013

What is femininity, said Pilate, washing his hands.

by Anonymousreply 10109/02/2013

Come on bitch, cut these tits OFF!!!

by Anonymousreply 10309/02/2013


by Anonymousreply 10409/07/2013

If you're a lesbian, I assume it's because you like women sexually. So why do so many lesbians pretend to be men? They dress like men, walk like men, wear their hair like men, get tattooed like men, act aggressive and stupid like douchebag men. The whole point of being a lesbian is liking WOMEN, not women pretending to be men. That whole "butch" and "femme" thing never made sense to me.

by Anonymousreply 10609/07/2013

r106, me too

by Anonymousreply 10709/07/2013

R106, the lesbians you see at bars represent about a third of the whole. That's being generous.

by Anonymousreply 10809/07/2013

OP aka LipstickLes(and all your rx posts) you really need to get some help. You are obsessed with butch dykes, why do you give a fuck?

by Anonymousreply 11109/08/2013

r112, the OP is obsessed with the topic. She or he is clearly unbalanced.

by Anonymousreply 11309/08/2013

What R113 said.

I'm a very femme lesbian and so is my best friend and both of us have had relationships with butch, femme, and soft butch women. Femininity is a -spectrum, like masculinity. I have aesthetic preferences, like everyone else, but they're not about behavior in that sense. What a weird topic. The OP sounds like a clueless straight guy trolling.

by Anonymousreply 11409/08/2013

Isn't anyone else sick of the constant masculine/feminine battles here? It's not just boring, it's kind of embarrassing that gays seem to be obsessed with gender expression, when we should be the most open-minded about it. Who cares, live and let live.

by Anonymousreply 11509/08/2013

W&W for r116. That was one of the best posts I've read on DL.

In the meantime, I need to get off this site. It seems like a lot of posts are written by personality disordered individuals.

by Anonymousreply 11709/08/2013

Come on, let's don't trash masculine women. Why we should that? It's like trashing feminine men for what they are. Get used to it. It's not something out of this world. That's how it goes.

by Anonymousreply 12012/09/2013

r20 there is a lot of trashing of femme boys here.

by Anonymousreply 12112/09/2013

Femme boys and butch women should get the correction

by Anonymousreply 12212/09/2013

I have found them to be misandrous. Gay men may have a horror of sex with women but generally lurve women. The former often connects to feminism. The latter are often unaware of their patriarchial attitudes while trying to be fabulous. I don't know which is more tiresome.

by Anonymousreply 12412/09/2013

I sometimes wonder if maybe there are in fact more transgenders than actual male and female homosexuals.

by Anonymousreply 12512/09/2013

R116, lots of gay men don't know much about women. They get their info from old movie clothes and porn.

by Anonymousreply 12612/09/2013

R125, SO TRUE!

by Anonymousreply 12712/11/2013

Luckily it's slowly changing

by Anonymousreply 12812/12/2013

Exactly, r129

by Anonymousreply 13012/12/2013

not all lesbians do

by Anonymousreply 13112/12/2013

I know r12. I am feminine and so is my gf

by Anonymousreply 13212/13/2013

I'm not attracted to it but to each their own...

Tried hanging out with a group of butches once and they acted like frat boys. I felt out of place.

by Anonymousreply 13312/13/2013

Yep! Bulldykes are Neanderthals

by Anonymousreply 13412/13/2013

The masculine/feminine divide is the biggest chasm and controversy in the LGB community, male and female.

by Anonymousreply 13512/13/2013

I love you r116!

by Anonymousreply 13612/13/2013

Yeah because we are tired of gays emulating heterosexual relationships and gays taking on the looks and mannerisms of the opposite sex

by Anonymousreply 13712/13/2013

I adore elder lez. OP is a moron.

by Anonymousreply 13912/13/2013

[all posts by pathetic racist, sexist, anti-semitic, homophobic flame bait troll removed (but you might want to not encourage it in the future because it will be back because you keep giving it what it wants and it really does not believe any of the things it types), ISP notified with full text of all posts.]

by Anonymousreply 14012/13/2013

That's because MANY people are self-loathing conformists who buy into the same homophobia and gender panic that you cling to. Not because of any central truth to your lunacy or groundswell of support for your regressive, reactionary social views. MANY people agree with you because MANY people are just as damaged as you.

What's sad is that most of those people are ignorant, straight rubes who don't know any better. That you come to a gay website and spread this garbage as a self-identified gay woman is even more embarrassing and pathetic. For you, of course.

Thankfully, with improving acceptance rates and increased access to mental health services, your side is losing a lot of traction. Maybe one day you'll wake up to that and realize how counterproductive and misplaced your gay-on-gay hate really is.

But I doubt it. You sound really stupid.

by Anonymousreply 14112/13/2013

[all posts by pathetic racist, sexist, anti-semitic, homophobic flame bait troll removed (but you might want to not encourage it in the future because it will be back because you keep giving it what it wants and it really does not believe any of the things it types), ISP notified with full text of all posts.]

by Anonymousreply 14312/13/2013

[all posts by pathetic racist, sexist, anti-semitic, homophobic flame bait troll removed (but you might want to not encourage it in the future because it will be back because you keep giving it what it wants and it really does not believe any of the things it types), ISP notified with full text of all posts.]

by Anonymousreply 14412/13/2013

Trolldar is fun on this thread. Go ahead, try it.

by Anonymousreply 14512/13/2013

Please never stop posting. You undermine yourself with each new response.

by Anonymousreply 14712/13/2013


by Anonymousreply 14912/15/2013

R150, TROLLDAR is not your friend.

by Anonymousreply 15112/15/2013

Whatever happened to classy, headstrong, iconoclast, timeless lesbians like Kate Hepburn?

by Anonymousreply 15212/16/2013

There are more truly feminine openly lesbian women than truly masculine openly gay men.

by Anonymousreply 15312/16/2013

Whatever happened to classy, headstrong, iconoclast, timeless lesbians like Barbara Stanwyck?

by Anonymousreply 15412/16/2013

My take is based on wondering why so many gay men (more when I was growing up than today) seem to reject their masculinity. I came to the conclusion that when some people realize that their lives are not going to fit the conventional molds that they had expected, they cast about for a new stereotype to adopt, and behave in accordance with that, rather than coming up with whoever it turns out they are.

by Anonymousreply 15512/16/2013


by Anonymousreply 15701/01/2014

[quote]If you're a lesbian, I assume it's because you like women sexually. So why do so many lesbians pretend to be men?

To score with women, duh. They are not trying to attract themselves.

by Anonymousreply 15801/01/2014

What R123 said.

I don't mind a little/some tom boy, but butches are just ridiculous.

by Anonymousreply 15901/01/2014

If they didn't reject it, they'd be called straight.

by Anonymousreply 16001/02/2014

R158, if that were the case , I would be straight and find a REAL man ! Got it stud?

by Anonymousreply 16101/04/2014

Femmes for femmes

by Anonymousreply 16201/04/2014

R160, so you equate being gay with emulating the opposite sex? So we are all just latent trannys huh?

Let me guess, you are butch right?

by Anonymousreply 16301/04/2014

Butchy femme is my favorite type of woman.

by Anonymousreply 16401/04/2014

I like classy ladies, not some lowlife man wannabe

by Anonymousreply 16501/12/2014

Sure, R165. Now let me guess, you're male, right?

by Anonymousreply 16601/12/2014

Sure, some lesbians reject femininity, but those who don't are often not believed or thought to be lesbians. We're everywhere.

Men "reject" shit all the time and it isn't considered a thing. When men get fat and sloppy and walk around in diaper-dangling cargo shorts and tube socks with oversized t-shirts, are they considered to have rejected their adulthood and masculinity? That's what it looks like they're doing to me. When 20-year-old hipster dudes wear skinny jeans and grow their hair long, which I think looks attractive, they're not exactly exuding masculinity.

I bet there are as many men, especially young men, who look androgynous or feminine as there are lesbians who look masculine.

by Anonymousreply 16801/12/2014

R167? Would you like it if I called you a nelly cocksucker?

Just sayin'.

by Anonymousreply 16901/12/2014

I agree OP. Live and let live and all that, but it is depressing to be surrounded by butches and I won't fake being happy about it.

I tried to force myself to date one, thinking "all cats are grey in the dark, she's still a woman even if she doesn't want to be one". But she had weird hangups even there (I wasn't allowed to please her, I was out of there like a shot).

by Anonymousreply 17001/12/2014


by Anonymousreply 17101/20/2014

Just be yourself, and try to do the best you can. Believe me, I know that can be hard.

by Anonymousreply 17201/20/2014


by Anonymousreply 17301/22/2014

R174 Ditto!

by Anonymousreply 17502/09/2014

Everything said by the gay and lesbian posters trashing androgyny has been said by our straight enemies. These are their exact same ideas. You have the same exact comfort level with gay people as an ignorant straight. Wake up and get your shit together.

by Anonymousreply 17602/09/2014

OP, I agree. I live in NYC. Come visit, and we'll have a weekend of marathon fucking and drinking and the occasional good meal.

by Anonymousreply 17702/09/2014

Holding hands in public- do you ever get homophobic comments, or do people still not believe you are dating?

by Anonymousreply 18002/11/2014

Only if they are Japanese.

by Anonymousreply 18202/11/2014

Let's do it, r178. First Annual NYC Femme Lesbian Fuckfest. Anyone have Gillian Anderson's contact info?

by Anonymousreply 18302/11/2014

Had I rejected my femininity, would I be sitting in the U.S. Senate?

by Anonymousreply 18402/12/2014

Why do so many DL gay men reject masculinity and mainstream manliness?

by Anonymousreply 18502/18/2014

I'm another feminine lesbian who can't stand butches.

They're disgusting.

by Anonymousreply 18607/25/2014

There's an old myth out there that ONLY a butch-femme female couple "works", yet I see butch-butch pairings out there; femme-femme ones are harder for me to identify as specifically gay.

by Anonymousreply 18707/25/2014

I love jokes and love all kinds of humor, but the anti-women/anti-lesbian trolling here really didn't need to be bumped.

by Anonymousreply 18807/25/2014


I don't know why that myth exists because it's not true. Quite the opposite actually.

Most butch/femme pairings I've seen consist of one gender confused butch who is always afraid that her femme partner will leave her for a man, and one femme with low self esteem who used to be straight but is now tired of men and thinks a butch is the solution to her problems.

It usually ends with the femme going back to straightville.

Butch/femme couples are also much more common among the lower class.

by Anonymousreply 18907/25/2014

As a gay man, I find this thread fascinating and somewhat depressing. I don't really get it. If you don't like a butches, don't fuck them. Why do you have to feel such a repulsion toward them? This dynamic is too similar to all the gay men who feel disgust toward male fems. Great, they don't attract you sexually, but why have such a visceral negative reaction? What is really behind that?

I've known some super butch dykes and some really fem fags who were some of the kindest people in the world. I didn't need to have sex with them to appreciate them as human beings.

So many straight people seem to be feeling more comfortable with masculine/feminine these days!

by Anonymousreply 19007/25/2014


by Anonymousreply 19111/30/2014

Why is it that after so many women come out, they suddenly morph into dude-looking she-males?

by Anonymousreply 19211/30/2014

Because women naturally look like dude looking shemales R192.

Femininity is an illusion created by makeup, hair dye and jewelry.

by Anonymousreply 19311/30/2014

It's one thing to be butch like Rachel Maddow, for example, no makeup, pants and a short haircut. She looks like herself and that's what makes her cute.

It's quite different to essentially be wearing a disguise, binder flattening the breasts, all signs of femininity disguised. If you have a feminine figure, own it. The man in drag look, as opposed to just being comfortable, seems like insecurity. If you're trying to attract a woman that is attracted to women, why not look like a woman? I don't mean like a fashion model, just a woman. If they wanted a man they wouldn't be a lesbian.

by Anonymousreply 19411/30/2014

Rachel Maddow still wears makeup on television which makes her face look more feminine. Without makeup, she looks like a guy.

Let's ban all makeup hair dye and jewelry and see what women really look like. The truth is women look much more like men than we think.

by Anonymousreply 19511/30/2014

Maddow has been seen many times off her show without makeup. She doesn't wear makeup or suit jackets at home.

Everyone wears makeup on television, even straight men. It's part of working on television.

by Anonymousreply 19611/30/2014

I don't see Ellen or Maddow as 'butch', myself. They are more androgynous to me. Butch is my former line manager, who had a buzz cut, wore schlub clothes (dad jeans belted high, with some unfashionable sneakers) , was overweight, didn't wear a bra, and sat in meetings with her legs wide open, like an Alpha male watching the ball game.

by Anonymousreply 19711/30/2014

[quote] and sat in meetings with her legs wide open

I get the feeling that each and every time she did that, you slowly and unceremoniously fainted.

by Anonymousreply 19811/30/2014

No, R198, I maintained steady eye contact and signalled loud and clear that her Big Swinging Dick routine cut no mustard with me. Some of my other colleagues were scared to death of her, however.

by Anonymousreply 19911/30/2014

Have fun dear lesbos...

by Anonymousreply 20011/30/2014

Is there more to this story, r197? I don't see how a woman sitting with her legs open is some kind of power play any more than a man who crosses his legs is a sign that he gags on kielbasas.

by Anonymousreply 20111/30/2014

All there is to the story, R201, is that the former line manager was a radical feminist and uber butch and a bully, whose primary motivation in working relationships was to establish her dominance. If the other person did not bow down, she would use intimidation tactics such as domineering body language, shouting, freezing people out.

She was a typical insecure butch dyke. That is all.

by Anonymousreply 20211/30/2014

do they, dude?

by Anonymousreply 20301/24/2015

I agree OP!!

by Anonymousreply 20402/05/2015

bump for feminine ladies

by Anonymousreply 20502/05/2015

[quote] Why do many lesbians reject their femininity?

For the same reason gays do the Princess Diana scream.

by Anonymousreply 20602/05/2015

r206, sad isn't it?

by Anonymousreply 20702/05/2015

I don't care either way but I once worked a job where I had to greet dozens of people and give them a welcome pack. On more than one occasion I encountered a really butch woman and I said 'Sir' accidentally and I never knew how to cover so I just mumbled sorry and scurried. Those women looked so masculine though that it confused me as a teen gay boy because I was sometimes attracted to the way they carried themselves. My sister never wears make-up actually, she's petite and has long hair and she will wear nice fitted clothing but no make-up. She says it's too much bother. I thick if I was a woman putting on the face and fixing it up throughout the day would get old fast.

by Anonymousreply 20902/05/2015

Lesbian feminity is opposite from straight "feminity", period. Straight feminity is all about artefacts, make up, certain clothes and a certain way of acting and conveying "sexiness". That demeaning show of turning yourself into a brainless sex object. All of that is opposite from what lesbians like and search for in other women, and want to project for themselves. Lesbians like natural feminity, and since there's unfortunately no word for it people like OP see them as being "devoid" of the only type of feminity he knows, aka the manufactured one. Lesbians reject that straight version of feminity because it's a bloody misogynistic turn off. It's really not that complicated.

by Anonymousreply 21002/05/2015

Lesbian feminity is opposite from straight "feminity", period. Straight feminity is all about artefacts, make up, certain clothes and a certain way of acting and conveying "sexiness". That demeaning show of turning yourself into a brainless sex object. All of that is opposite from what lesbians like and search for in other women, and want to project for themselves. Lesbians like natural feminity, and since there's unfortunately no word for it people like OP see them as being "devoid" of the only type of feminity he knows, aka the manufactured one. Lesbians reject that straight version of feminity because it's a bloody misogynistic turn off. It's really not that complicated.

by Anonymousreply 21102/05/2015

Sorry for the double post, beta DL hiccup.

by Anonymousreply 21202/05/2015

r211, BS! more and more young gay WOMEN are rejecting the anti male and ironically ultimately anti female. I do not have to dress and act like a man to beat patariarchy

by Anonymousreply 21302/05/2015

" Lesbians reject that straight version of feminity because it's a bloody misogynistic turn off. It's really not that complicated. "

By emulating men? also, are you attracted to women or men with vaginas?

by Anonymousreply 21402/05/2015

But who the hell asked you to "dress and act like a man" r213? Is that the only alternative in your universe ? Further proof that you have no idea on how to exist as a woman outside of the dolled up vogue magazine version of "feminity".

"Emulating men" you say r214. I pity you.

How about dressing and acting exactly as you are? A WOMAN.

by Anonymousreply 21502/05/2015

r215 is roaring and stating her boundaries. You will be perpetually pissed off at the world with your man hatred. I bet you are one ugly bulldyke

by Anonymousreply 21602/05/2015

The only pissed off and hateful person is you, r216. I pity your self-loathing miserable life. Keep on applying that make up and wearing those whore skirts... and being eternally single :)

by Anonymousreply 21702/05/2015

LOL I walk into girlbar and it's like Glinda the witch descending upon munchinland :)

by Anonymousreply 21802/05/2015

so I should look like Sally Kohn or Rachel MANdow? LMAO. yEAH baby dykes just love those types (sarc)

by Anonymousreply 21902/05/2015

It's very telling that you envision me as a man hating "ugly bulldyke". You seem to have absolutely zero concept of what being a woman is outside of the hetero standard. "If you don't apply make up and wear dresses you must hate men!!!!!!!!!" Again, I pity you.

by Anonymousreply 22002/05/2015

so you don't find straight women attractive ?

by Anonymousreply 22102/05/2015

Women can dress anyway they please, or they should be allowed to--we aren't under Sharia law YET.

When lesbians call out other women who like to dress up in heels and short skirts they are as BAD as sexist men, and probably look like dumpy men as well.

What I dislike is the overall refusal to look clean and someone kept up.

I have a sister who fought through serious illness and during that time she dressed slovenly. But that was because she felt like shit, was worried about going bankrupt with medical bills, and got fat on medication. She also had bad b.o. due to the meds.

However, when my sister was healthy she took time to look clean and wear clean clothes, wear a pretty blouse, etc..

what I don't understand is how so many women put down other women so much over clothing choices.

The slovenly ones could be sickly and not want your attention anyway, and the cute, stylish ones could be fighting their way out of a depression.

Either way, leave each other alone, bitches.

by Anonymousreply 22202/05/2015

even butches want a femme

by Anonymousreply 22302/05/2015

r222, thank you!

by Anonymousreply 22402/05/2015


by Anonymousreply 22502/18/2015

I think it's quite telling when people say an unfeminine woman is "emulating men." How so? By not wearing makeup, tight clothes, heels, and walking with a sashay? The fact that that's considered "acting like a man" is a problem. What most people call "feminine" is based on artifice and illusion. Period. Being unfeminine doesn't (and shouldn't) automatically make a woman "masculine" or an androphile.

by Anonymousreply 22602/18/2015

Also, people need to stop buying into the bullshit notion that women dress for other women. What a load of crap. Really? Women put on makeup, get their hair and nails done, squeeze into tight clothes, and put on high impress other women? How does that even make sense?

by Anonymousreply 22702/18/2015

[quote]When lesbians call out other women who like to dress up in heels and short skirts they are as BAD as sexist men

Most straight women are whores looking to get freebies and attention by becoming artificial and fake. They are also hypocrites. They'll chide short men (while they wear heels to look taller), make fun of a guy with hair plugs (while they wear extensions and spend copious amounts of money on their hair), mock guys who spend too much time at the gym (because they're too lazy and would rather wear spandex and go on fad diets). Most straight women want a "real man", yet are "fake women". At least the lesbians keep it real.

by Anonymousreply 22802/18/2015

"Most straight women are whores..."

And there's the freeper troll, straight out of GOP scrum meeting no doubt.

by Anonymousreply 22902/18/2015

228 = bleeding gums

by Anonymousreply 23002/18/2015

r228 a raging bulldyke too ugly to get anyone

by Anonymousreply 23102/18/2015

r227 as a femme who likes the same, I dress for the ladies and many of my straight female friends also do

by Anonymousreply 23202/18/2015

eww feminine ladies! give me a mannish flannel wearing dyke anyday

by Anonymousreply 23302/18/2015

R232, that's strange to me. Gay women I can understand, but I don't know why a straight woman would bother dressing for people she doesn't know and isn't going to have sex with. What's the payoff for them?

by Anonymousreply 23402/18/2015

uh looking pretty and feminine

by Anonymousreply 23502/18/2015

"What's the payoff for them?"

There isn't one. Straight women dress for men and don't want to endure other straight women's judgment and sneering if they don't make the necessary efforts to compete. Period.

by Anonymousreply 23602/18/2015

R21 the same thing happened to me twice. It's the lesbian version of the bathroom stall tap tap tap. I didn't have a clue I was being hit on. I was polite and said "oh excuse me do you need more space". The last time this happened my friend laughed and explained what was going on. All I can say is WTH?

Another observation, why do the masculine girls hate purses? They act like they are guys but I have yet to meet a guy who hates on purses as much as the butch lesbians.

by Anonymousreply 23702/18/2015

I'm a straight female with no attraction to women and I dress very simply. No makeup or jewelry, just a nice watch and wedding band. Simple haircut, slacks, shirts and flat shoes. I own 2 pair of heels but they aren't comfortable. I have one dress I like (silk satin Max Azaira in emerald green - sigh.) Yeah, I wear heels with that, the one time in a million years I felt like wearing a dress.

I'm petite and slender and I suppose my look is androgynous. I applaud my friends who love to dress up, but it isn't me at all. Nail polish makes me itch. I own makeup but just can't be bothered.

Clothes don't make the woman.

by Anonymousreply 23902/18/2015

"I don't know why a straight woman would bother dressing for people she doesn't know and isn't going to have sex with."

Because men are easy to find to have sex with. Very little effort or flashy clothes required.

Sorry, DL gays.

by Anonymousreply 24102/18/2015

The things that people do to avoid judgment and outsider status...

by Anonymousreply 24202/18/2015

r240, they are more accepted than gay men

by Anonymousreply 24302/18/2015

R243, I said they creep me out and should be sent away. That stands whether or not your comment is true or false. Lesbians are creepy. That's just the truth.

by Anonymousreply 24402/18/2015

As a very, very feminine gay woman, I've wondered the same. Diesel dykes are friends of mine, but they'd never get into my bedroom.

Then again, I wonder why a lot of gay guys reject their masculinity. The swishy prancing and preening with all the ridiculous affectations.

A lot of us embrace femininity, taste, and sophistication. Sounds like you're too busy projecting your insecurities onto others to see it.

by Anonymousreply 24502/18/2015

Also, straight women don't dress for men. They dress for other straight women.

Straight men will screw mud. They don't care what a woman's face looks like, or what she's adorned with.

by Anonymousreply 24602/18/2015

[quote]make fun of a guy with hair plugs

To be fair, I've never seen a man with hair plugs that didn't look ridiculous.

by Anonymousreply 24702/18/2015

Femininity is beautiful because it is rare, the world is about rage, aggression, grime, rudeness, violence, and competition.

Femininity is the tiny flower fighting its way out of the crack in the sidewalk on a dirty, busy street.

this is why men want to be women now, because they want to preserve rare beauty.

And pretty, sweet things are the underdogs in life.

by Anonymousreply 24802/18/2015

[quote]Women put on makeup, get their hair and nails done, squeeze into tight clothes, and put on high impress other women? How does that even make sense?

[quote]Gay women I can understand, but I don't know why a straight woman would bother dressing for people she doesn't know and isn't going to have sex with. What's the payoff for them?

People don't only dress up just when they have sex. What kind of stupid statement is that?

Dressing up is a status symbol, same thing as what car one drives and where your house is located. Women dress to impress and eclipse other women around all in the name of competition.

Straight men wouldn't know the difference between Gucci and Versace, only other women who vie for good material things will know what she and she's wearing. Forget lesbians. That's why straight women dress for other women.

But a lot of women also love looking at other women without the impulse of fucking them.

If you're an adult person and haven't figured that out yet then you've lived a very sheltered life.

by Anonymousreply 24902/18/2015

[quote]Because men are easy to find to have sex with. Very little effort or flashy clothes required.

For many straight men a hole is a hole

by Anonymousreply 25002/18/2015

[quote]To be fair, I've never seen a man with hair plugs that didn't look ridiculous.

True, but it's the same for most of the women that wear those ratty extensions and weaves. Not talking about the celebs that can afford high price hair help, but the everyday women. I can always tell. And hate to say it, but black women always have the worst and most silly looking weaves.

by Anonymousreply 25102/18/2015

Yes, R249, I get that people do it for status/competition, but that doesn't make it any less stupid. Status symbol or not, it's stupid to put in all that effort for so-called "status" from people you're not interested in fucking, befriending, or running in the same social circles with. At least a luxury car or a nice house provides the owner with value. But dolling up just to one-up other women? Yeah, maybe in high school.

by Anonymousreply 25202/18/2015

Precisely, R253. It's also clear a lot of women bullshit themselves about why they dress the way they do...

by Anonymousreply 25402/18/2015

r253 bulldyke

by Anonymousreply 25502/18/2015

All post-menopausal women look like dykes to me.

A lot of the Mexican ones do by the age of thirty-five, they even have swagger.

You know who actually still looks good after fifty?

Actual lesbians!

by Anonymousreply 25602/18/2015

Women have always scared me. My mother, sister, cousins, you name them. I could never understand why lesbians want to look like us.

I mean if I was a lesbian and loved women I would want a really pretty one.

Just like I have a very handsome BF/partner. (says me).

by Anonymousreply 25702/18/2015

Today's MTF's are like yesterday's Rembrandt's and Di Vincis.

These are men trying to preserve real beauty in this world, and they are sacrificing their own bodies to do so.

They are artists, classical artists, living in a post-modern scrambled soup of disruption.

by Anonymousreply 25802/18/2015

I wish DANA Delany would come out!!! it would be such a boost for femmes in closet

by Anonymousreply 25902/18/2015

Because I'm a MAN, OP! A man trapped in a woman's body!

by Anonymousreply 26002/18/2015

if you are masculine gay man, or feminine gay lady, you hide!

by Anonymousreply 26102/18/2015

[quote]Show up with a grossly obese old lady, no teeth and stinking like pig shit. Have your average woman by her side, teeth intact. The man will screw which one first, given a preference?

The man will screw the one who agrees to have sex with him.

R253, not only are you homophobic but clueless and sexist about women too

by Anonymousreply 26202/18/2015

R263 = insane

by Anonymousreply 26402/18/2015

Is it lesbionic though? Plenty of straight married women in my area get a no-nonsense haircut and wear sensible shoes (Nike trainers) with their c. 1992 relaxed cut jeans and L.L. Bean cotton turtlenecks. The full transformation is completed around menopause, I've noticed. Yes, they drive Subarus or minivans. Many women just stop giving a shit or never did. They care about work and getting shit done, not realizing or caring that appearances affect how much respect others give you.

Other women enjoy the makeup and hair primping. Is it about men? I don't know.

by Anonymousreply 26602/18/2015

True R266. I think a lot of women stop giving a fuck, especially after a certain age. You realize all that time spent fretting over your appearance wasn't really worth it.

by Anonymousreply 26702/19/2015

Define femininity.

by Anonymousreply 26802/19/2015

uh looking like a woman, not a man

by Anonymousreply 26902/19/2015

R263, 265 etc., Trolldar is not your friend.

by Anonymousreply 27002/19/2015

R264 totally!

by Anonymousreply 27102/19/2015

I don't know R245, but your post sounds like someone that is desperate to accept themselves but they are far from it.

by Anonymousreply 27202/19/2015

The only post here that makes sense is R220. This thread in general is a car crash; embarrassing and sad. Most of the posters ooze out self-loathing and shame.

by Anonymousreply 27302/19/2015

Sorry I made a mistake I meant R210

by Anonymousreply 27402/19/2015

r245 rocks

by Anonymousreply 27502/19/2015

Sous chef program can be grueling on ones' appearance

by Anonymousreply 27602/19/2015

I defy any of you to actually answer the question.

So far, all has OP received is a bunch of in fighting and righteous, knee jerk "how DARE you"s.

by Anonymousreply 27702/19/2015

The question "Why do many lesbians reject their femininity?" implies that they have some "femininity" to reject.

by Anonymousreply 27802/19/2015

Femininity is not based on clothing. Although in my experience a good cut helps.

by Anonymousreply 27902/19/2015

This thread is just the type of crazy I need.


by Anonymousreply 28002/21/2015

LOL femmes for femmes

by Anonymousreply 28102/23/2015

What's so funny about femmes for femmes R281?

by Anonymousreply 28202/23/2015

nothing at all, just laughing at previous comment

by Anonymousreply 28302/23/2015


by Anonymousreply 28405/18/2015
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