"I don't believe in labels" is the new "I'm bi" for emerging gays

It`s as new as bell bottoms and disco music. I`ve been hearing young people say it for over 30 years.

No such thing as male bisexuality

(and as for female bisexuality.....meh who cares what they do?)

I had heard it only rarely, R1. Now, I hear it all the time. It's become a common evasion.

This is as old as dirt - it's not new. It's been around for 30 years or more.

Labels are very important for the proper wardrobe coordinator.

It was Michael Stipe`s alibi back in 1985 and was very common.

New? The label line is time-honored and usually spoken by a guy with cum dribbling down his chin.

I actually think that true bisexuality is rare. Sure, lots of people can fool around or have sex with either gender but usually people have their *real* issues and desires for one gender or the other. I usually look for where people have their real issues to gauge it.

I don't believe in labia.

When a girl says "Sexuality is fluid" I hear "I'm slutty and bi!"

You are defining bisexuality as an relatively equal preference for both genders R8 (and probably R2). That is not what bisexuality means. At all. It just means you have some sexual attraction to both genders.

I accept that some people are actually bi and I accept the fact that OP is a Jackass!

R12 is correct. More men are bi than not. Labels are for clothes.

I don't understand why more closeted actors don't come out as bi instead of gay, particularly the heartthrobs with huge female fanbases,

Wentworth Miller could have come out as bi years ago.

James Franco should come out as bi (although, does he really need to come out at this point?)

Josh Radnor should come out as bi.

Are there any other closeted guys that I'm forgetting?

Just another euphemism people who have hang-ups with their sexuality use to evade the issue. Closet cases who don't mind looking foolish and who think others are as into their sexuality complexes as they usually "don't like labels", and will fuck anything. These people are not as centered and as balanced as they portray.

We don't believe in labels either.

Bi now gay later.

Isn't looking that bad yet in this thread, but I'm feeling the biphobia, "I'm marginalised so let's pick on the other minorities".

Some of us like both, deal with it .

The "I don't believe in labels" ridiculous bullshit tends to be spewed by bisexual men beset by uncontrollable internalized homophobia (surprise, surprise!), who want to separate themselves from anything to do with same sex attraction as much as possible, while indulging in their passions when it suits them.

It's the vaguer equivalent of the "I'm straight/gay, but I don't mind having sex/I could fall in love with a man/woman" explanation, and it's usually utilized to avoid being looked at with disdain when anyone could remind them that their behaviour is duplicitous and ignoble at best.

Also, I have encountered some utter fools who think that spewing these absurdities makes them special, edgy and unique... Oh well, to each their own, as they say.

There's also my personal favorite--"Pansexual."

R18--The denial of bisexuality is a strange, persistent pattern. I think some deniers lied about being bisexual themselves so they assume everyone else is also lying. Some misunderstand the concept and say "you must like one sex more than the other" as if the true bisexual must be absolutely indifferent.

I'm trisexual. I'll try anything once.

Josh Radnor is gay?

I'm just a sexual person, not gay or bi.

R23's declaration is another classic.

[all posts by tedious troll removed.]

"More men are bi than not."

No, actually studies show that men are not very flexible in their attractions. Very few guys get aroused looking at both men and women. It's women who are much more likely to be bi.

I do think bi guys exist but most of the guys who trot out the "I don't like labels" are just gays in denial, not real bisexuals. It's closted marys like Andre Leon Talley who say they don't like labels. Yeah, he's bi...he likes both men and guys.

R22, Josh Radnor doesn't get talked about much here on DL, as a matter of fact, he generally doesn't get that much attention from the media in general.

But... from what little I've read on Datalounge, he is out in his private life and work life, but he doesn't feel like he can get away with coming out like Neil Patrick Harris.

I suspect he'll come out some time after HIMYM has ended, in order for him to stay relevant.

If there is anything common to every person who has posted in this thread, it is this: that they are absolutely correct, and those that disagree with them are absolutely wrong.

Is staking your irrefutable claim to the truth really that important? Put another way: what difference does it make if you call that white thing with the webbed feet swimming on the lake a canard or a duck?

And another bisexual discriminatory thread makes an appearance on DL.Got to love the rampant hypocrisy that emanates from certain sections of the gay community where discrimination is concerned!

Even Elton John claimed to be bi at first.

Ashlee Simpson: ENVY

Burka by Rumer Willis

Wrong thread 31/32.

ROAM by Anne Heche

"Pansexual" and "Genderqueer" and "cis" seem to be the new labels of choice by the radical fringe who normally would call themselves "queer."

Most gay males stick to "gay." These other terms seem to be more in favor with academic chicks.

Fuck this is the wrong thread, isn't it.

[all posts by tedious troll removed.]

Dorothy: How come their not lesbians? Wake up Miami guest: We don't believe in labels.

Classic GG scene (and a hat-tip to R16)

"I don't understand why more closeted actors don't come out as bi instead of gay, particularly the heartthrobs with huge female fanbases"

Because coming out as bi is coming out as liking cock up your ass and down your throat, i.e., it is coming out as gay. Their is no advantage in it except in one's own imagination.

[quote]No, actually studies show that men are not very flexible in their attractions. Very few guys get aroused looking at both men and women. It's women who are much more likely to be bi.

Actually, no. Perhaps more women will come out as Bi but in practically all studies, there are way more men admitting to some degree of same sex activity than women.

I don't believe in hearing

R35 - back to the dictionary.

"cis" or "cisgender" has nothing to do with sexual attraction it has to do with gender identity. Actually cis refers to people who perception of their gender is the same as the biological gender they were born with. If you perceive yourself to be a man and you were born a biological man, than you are cis.

Genderqueer is also about gender identification.

Pansexual is about sexual attraction.

cis sounds like a load of bullshit, r42.

R17, I like that.

WE DEMAND LABELS!!!!

When I was young the popular evasion was "I think most people are basically bisexual." The no labels thing is old, it was even on a Golden Girls episode.

[quote]No, actually studies show that men are not very flexible in their attractions. Very few guys get aroused looking at both men and women. It's women who are much more likely to be bi.

Ahem.

[all posts by tedious troll removed.]

R43 - you're comment is pretty funny.

What are you - 18 years old, 25 years old?

It really wasn't that long ago that you a gay man have found himself in jail, fired, kicked out of your house etc...if people discovered he was gay.

Most of the world still thinks being gay is far worse than bullshit.

I suggest you get over yourself - and try showing the same tolerance and understanding of others that you have grown to expect others to show you.

This reminds me of Ezra Miller coming out as queer instead of bi, saying he's not into labels.

R48, you're a real idiot as well.

You don't have to get aroused looking at men. You get aroused when they put your dick in their mouth.

Some people need labels on sexuality (or other things), others do not. Have some tolerance for individualism.

R52 = Andre Leon Talley

One either tolerates the stench of fecal material, or one doesn't. It's not exactly brain surgery, fags...

Today at 11:57 AM

When Will Men Be Okay Exploring Same-Sex Experiences?

By now, there’s an established celebrity “coming out” narrative. You sit down with a morning talk-show host or write a blog post saying that you’re in love with someone who shares your gender. Your true fans profess their continued devotion, LGBT rights groups and opinion writers applaud you, and while you’ll get some hate mail, most people are relieved to finally have you “figured out” — especially if your sexuality has been the subject of tabloid speculation.

This doesn't quite apply, however, when you reveal you’re dating a man but insist you’re still attracted to women. “Of course I still fancy girls,” said British diver Tom Daley last week. “But, I mean, right now I’m dating a guy and I couldn’t be happier.” There were some standard-issue homophobic reactions (which Buzzfeed and HuffPost obligingly collected), but Daley also elicited a more specific sort of disapproval from certain fans — biphobia, the Advocate called it. These were the people who assumed Daley was gay but unable to fully admit it, or unwilling to relinquish the privileges of being straight. He was called greedy and accused of trying to have it all. (Which is baffling. It’s not as if he’s dating six people at once.) By contrast, a few days before Daley’s announcement, actress Maria Bello published an op-ed revealing she was in love with a woman after years of dating (and marrying) men. While the headlines were conflicted — some said she’d come out as gay, other said she was bi — her son summed it up best: “Mom, love is love, whatever you are.” The idea of a woman being legitimately attracted to both men and other women was heartwarming rather than confusing.

When coming out as not-totally-heterosexual, the rules are different for men and women. Perhaps this is because we’ve had plenty of cultural cues — like chart-topping hit songs about girls kissing girls — and academic research to acclimate us to the idea of women’s fluid sexuality. A new British study found a fourfold increase over the past twenty years in the number of women who’ve gotten it on with another woman, and 15 percent of American women vs. only 8 percent of men say they’ve had a same-sex hookups. Research on women’s sexual desires (as opposed to their behavior) reveals the female libido to be, in the words of author Daniel Bergner, “omnivorous.” When researcher Meredith Chivers showed women clips of erotica — women with women, men with men, men with women, lone men or women masturbating, a pair of fornicating apes — everything made their vaginas pulse. There were some variations between straight women and lesbians, and among women of all sexual identities. But while women may not admit it to researchers or even acknowledge it to themselves, we’re basically turned on by everything.

“Women have a greater capacity for gender-fluid sexual expression than men do,” Chivers told Tracy Clark-Flory at Salon. Indeed, men’s physical responses track much more closely with what they report their sexual identity to be. Straight men are turned on by women and not men; gay men are turned on by men and not women. While there will always be those who argue that this is because of biological differences, there are strong cultural factors at play. Probably thanks to “lesbian until graduation” stereotypes and “I Kissed a Girl”-style odes to superficial experimentation, we’re more comfortable with women whose sexuality is harder to define. “Acceptance of bisexual women hinges in part on straight men's fetishization of it," says a friend of mine who has dated both men and women. "My male friends were endlessly curious about the dirty details of my same-sex relationship." In a Pew Research Center survey of LGBT Americans this summer, 33 percent said there was “a lot of social acceptance” of bisexual women; only 8 percent said the same of bisexual men.

My guess is that as taboos and strict sexual categories begin to fall away, men will be more willing to explore same-sex relationships and hookups — and be more willing to adm

Bi doesn't exist, i will never be with a man, anyone who does is gay.

R56, go fuck yourself.

I can't tell you stupid bi-denying motherfuckers how many fuck buddies I've had who tried to talk me into threeways with chicks or disappeared for months at a time to have flings with girls.

Bisexual men do exist, and they're a pain in the ass.

We all are bisexual. Homosexuals happen to like men more often than women. Straights happen to primarily like women. Say Im wrong, imagine your desired preference obliterated from humanity, would you be celebrate for the rest of your life. Love who you want and be happy.

Let people define themselves and stop projecting your agenda on them.

what about "omnisexual"? lol. that just means gay too.

I'm okay with "pansexual" as an orientation.

It differs from bisexuality in that bisexuals limit themselves to human beings.

"I don't believe in earrings"

"I don't believe in caftans"

I find the "I don't believe in labels" thing to be highly irritating, because it's so goddamned fake and meaningless and wishy-washy (even cowardly).

Are you referring to me, OP?

I absolutely believe in bisexuals. And I absolutely believe that bisexuals have been tainted because of two reasons: Female "bisexuals" who claim to be a bi for a few years in college, then marry a man. And male bisexuals who do one of two things (or both): Are gay after those few years in college or LIE about liking men while not lying about liking women.

bi dudes rock

Op is an idiot.

No, I don't believe in labels, have settle down with a woman, and have had sex multiple times with "men" (trannies) in the past.

You people are so delusional and one sided. Why can't you accept that no EVERYONE is gay, or bi? It's called having an EXPERIENCE. This is how you people think, when a homosexual identified man claims he enjoys jerking it to women, it's okay, non chalant and doesn't mean anything. But when a STRAIGHT guy owns the fact that he likes to jerk it to (or have sex with) men/trannies, EVEN if it were only ONE TIME, he's AUTOMATICALLY gay/bisexual, and there's nothing that could change your opinions?

The gay community is FUCKED. Fuck all of you pretentious queens.

If a guy says "I don't believe in labels" you can figure he'll get down on his knees for another guy.

I am like the young, precocious Dyan Farrow - I consider myself "humansexual"!

d

Just "open" bruh

R69, a "homosexual" man who feels attracted to women (even if it's only in masturbatory fantasies) is bisexual, and no one has ever denied that. The same would be in the opposite case. The "experiences" that people enjoy and keep enjoying, make them bisexual, whether you feel comfortable with it or not.

Isn't it curious how genuinely straight people never qualify labels as onerous and say things like "I don't believe in them", while bisexuals and homosexuals in denial use this ridiculous sophism all the time? People who are happy with the way they are do not need to play silly semantic games in order to make themselves feel better.

Also, if you are straight, what are you doing here? It's not like this is the ideal space for red-blooded heterosexual men who like to have "experiences" with transsexuals, is it?

I've had a couple of guys tell me this (mostly very young)...my response is:

"But I DO believe in labels. If you suck cock, you're gay".

They go into instant pearl-clutch mode.

It's fun to fuck with their heads.

People get to define who they are.

so what? let people define their own identity.

Pansexual Power

There's nothing new about OP. But I agree

What R78 said.

Sexual attraction does not function according to political diktats or someone's demands about how others should feel. Some people are truly bi- or pansexual, depending on mood and the bazillion other factors that constitute what attracts one human to another.

How much of sexual preference is socially engineered is a study yet to be done. But for many, it's not a case of either/or but rather a bit of this and a bit of that.

"I don't believe in labels" is such a retarded thing to say, it's basically saying I'm ashamed to be have any sort of same sex label, so I'll just say I'm sexual.

Besides it's irrelevant what they call themselves, if a personal is clinically bisexual then they are bisexual, no way around it.

I am gay, but there is nothing stopping me from choosing to call myself bi or sexual, but it wouldn't make any difference because factually I'm gay.

I don't think this is hardly new. Didn't the late, great Gore Vidal use to throw around the same line back in his day?

Really?

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

I love heteroflexible dudes

I've read Annie is full on lez, I know, shocking, she is so pretty. But I think she doesn't want to be known for her sexuality like KD Lang is., so it's an easy deflection.

Why do you old queens care so much about how others label themselves?

They hate 'gay' you love gay, you be gay and let them be what they want.

R14

Jared Leto is one of those who has said that 'he doesn't like labels'.

Oh I think there are definitely real bisexuals, it's just that they are very few in number.

We don't believe in labels.

Who gives a flying fuck what people call themselves. Move on people

Exactly. Stop being so invested in labels and tribal identity.

Hmmm

Why do you care about how other dudes identify?

Sounds as nigger's thing.

Uh no

People get nervous when Jews and their fellow NPDs demand they identify themselves.

Or

When Jews and their fellow NPDs see some benefit in identifying themselves.

Hmmm

BI now

Gay later

My friends have a 13 year old daughter who recently told them via letter that she's bisexual. I spoke to the father and he said that he thinks that the act of going down on another girl will put her off. I didn't have the heart to tell him that she probaby want to do just that.

Hmmmm

Hmmm

Um hmmm

[quote]gay identity

I wish people would stop saying this. Gay is not an identity; it's a biological sexual orientation. The term "identity" makes it seem like we choose to be gay. Newsflash: we don't. In a time when biology and science are frequently ignored, we need to use facts and hard science to validate and support our existence.

who is that in r104?

Yes, male bisexuals are often just on the journey to say "bye-bye girls". I know, someone out there is truly by, or will let dudes suck him off. Still, most of the times. Women on the other hand seem to really be able to be bi.

The whole obsession on proving people are born gay is so last century. Some people are okay with seeing it as their choice, something they willingly embrace

Indeed

Bump